Episode 13-Settling the Score; Freddy vs. Jason II

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"Oh my God! You are so fucking retarded, damn idiot!"

Jason glared at Freddy and threw a note at his face; At least I don't have to have sex with little children to feel complete Kruger!

Freddy glared at him and ran his clawed hand over the glass of the balcony door, just to annoy him. Jason flinched and Freddy managed to yell over the screech, "Yeah motherfucker? At least I don't have to watch teenagers getting it on just to satisfy myself!"

Ghostface and Michael watched the two from across the room, at the kitchen table. "Think we should...I dunno. Do something?"

Michael shook his head and handed him a note; Hell no. They both had this coming at them...although I really don't recall what started this domestic squabble to begin with...

Ghostface shrugged then yelled at Freddy, "Hey, how did this all start to begin with? Myers wants to know and quite frankly I've forgotten."

Jason: It all started because Frederick-

"You big lummox! Don't you fucking dare call me that!"

He shrugged. Our dear Mr. Kruger has suddenly decided to damn near triple my rent! How the fuck and I supposed to pay that?

Freddy himself crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest. "Borrow money from your mommy-"

I swear to God, if you say one more thing about my mother then you are going to die!

"You already tried to kill me once, idiot. See how that worked for you?"

Michael and Ghostface sighed. "Something has to be done about this!" Ghostface whispered to Michael.

He didn't seem that concerned. So what? What the fuck is it to us if they are PMSing just a little? I say let them kill each other.

And that's just what Jason tried to do as he picked Freddy up and launched him out of the glass door of the balcony. It shattered on spot and Freddy stumbled over the edge and fell down into the alley below.

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About two hours later, once Freddy had stopped at Taco Bell in San Antonio, ordered some tacos and ate them all he returned to the apartment looking livid and furious. But it wasn't Jason that he fumed at, it was Ghostface and Michael.

"Why the fuck didn't you stop him?"

Michael looked to Ghostface who bravely said, "You are a bitch to everyone else on a regular basis. Jason knows when to keep his big mouth shut. You apparently don't. Never once have you stopped talking ever since we moved in with you-"

"We?" Freddy growled. Ghostface jerked his head in Michael's direction. Freddy crossed his arms. "Oh really? You too Myers?"

Michael nodded and pushed an old piece of paper in his face. Yep. You started to get to me around our first little misadventure...with Pinhead and all...

Once Freddy had read the note he cut it into thin shreds with his clawed hands and let out a roar of frustration. "What the fuck do you want me to do about it, Myers?" he spat the name out like it was dirt. Michael didn't even flinch. Just seemed to smile under his mask, his eyes twinkling for a second.

I don't like you Kruger.

"Well what a god damned surprise that the queer in the fucking apartment doesn't like me! I'm not here to make friends, Myers-"

Well you could at least try. Jason wrote, suddenly deciding to get in on the conversation. Freddy glared at him.

"Don't you get into this, god damned hockey puck. I can handle this on my own!"

Jason shrugged. I know you can. That's why I'm not trying to help you, just get you evicted.

Freddy's smile faded. "You can't get me evicted you retard! I'm the whole reason that this place is sane-"

"Really? What's 'sane' about it, Kruger? Jason always being in a rage, me always getting high, or Michael's ongoing battle with schizophrenia and his probable intermittent explosive disorder?"

Michael didn't do anything to argue against Ghostface, just glared at him. I don't have that many problems, do I?

Jason nodded. Yeah. You're pretty much always PMSing Myers. Plus there was that time in the camping tent when you tried to rape me...but it's okay. You're still not as bad as Kruger.

Freddy rolled his eyes. "I'm not going. And you can't make me."

Everyone was silent for a moment, their hopes of evicting Freddy from the apartment gone. There was no way that they'd get him out if he was this much against the idea. But suddenly Ghostface let out a soft chuckle and shook his head slowly. Everyone glanced at him. "I can't believe that I didn't see it before..." Ghostface said, "We both have the same director Kruger! Of course I can't get you evicted...that's why Craven put us in the same apartment together! We're both pretty much-"

"Don't you fucking dare say what you're about to say!" Freddy warned him, but Ghostface did anyway.

"-brothers!"

The other slasher cringed at this possibility...until Michael suddenly got what Ghostface was saying then his glance slowly shifted to Jason, who stood there glowering down at Freddy. Ghostface turned his gaze in Michael's direction and they both shared a moment of understanding.

Freddy would get evicted. One way or another. If Ghostface couldn't do it, or Michael just didn't want to-and why should he have to?-there would be a way.

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"This is gay. Why are you making me talk my problems out again?" Freddy asked as he sat down in the circle that Michael, Jason, himself and Ghostface had formed in the middle of the small living room area.

Ghostface smiled under his mask. "Because. How are we ever going to get anything solved if we just keep on fighting?"

Freddy shrugged glumly. "I don't know."

"The correct answer is that we're not Kruger. You know what just as well as I do. I've been reading some of Michael's psychology books and they all say that we should just talk about our feelings-"

Jason stifled a laugh. No I'm with Kruger on this one. What are we? A house full of Carries or PMSing women or whatever?

Michael glared at him. I think it's a good idea...or worth a try at least.

Ghostface nodded and then with a clap of his hands said, "Okay...let's start. Okay...umm...Jason! Why don't you tell us who's pissing you off and why...that's how it's supposed to go, right Myers?"

Michael shrugged. I never got much accomplished by therapy. In fact I never really payed any attention to what Doc Loomis was doing, just pictured myself skewering him with my knife. I think that it turned out well though...

Jason hurriedly began scribbling down a long note. Freddy sighed. "God! I knew that he had trouble reading because he's so retarded but I thought that he was a good writer! Hurry the fuck up!"

Ghostface rolled his eyes and threw one of Michael's heavy psychology books at his head. Then calmly said, "Freddy if you wouldn't mind shutting the fucking hell up, asshole? That's the proper thing to say in therapy, right Myers?"

Once again, Michael shrugged. It's what I would've said if I could still talk.

Finally Jason finished scribbling the note and gave it to Michael to read out loud but Ghostface snatched it. When Jason glared at him he just said, "Our dear Myers can't talk, okay? So how about we all just start passing our notes to the people who actually know how to talk or read, shall we?" then he glanced at the note and began reading, "Okay...let's see...oh, here we go! Okay...quoth Jason-'My main problem in the whole fucked up house is that I'm living with a bunch of assholes who don't have any more sense than a broom and they all think that they can just boss me around because I can't talk. I hate my life so much that sometimes I just wish that I really could die. Freddy doesn't make it any better; he's just an overly glorified child molester and I'm sick of him thinking that he's God. He's a fucking douche bag. You hear that Kruger? DOUCHE BAG!!! Thank you.' Well that's very good Jason. Freddy how do you retaliate?"

Freddy, who had been sitting there with his mouth agape in surprise came to his senses. "What the fuck did that big stupid prick just say to me?"

Michael rolled his eyes. Yeah, I think that we're really getting somewhere...

"Oh why don't you just shut you're smart little ass up, Myers?" Freddy yelled, now turning on him, "The problem here isn't me! It's all you sorry non-talking, too good for anything but yourselves killers...you and Voorhees! I'm fucking sick of this god damned shit! There are only two reasons that Voorhees is so bitter-"

I fucking swear if you say-

"-yeah, that's right! He's angry at the time I impersonated his mother and tricked him into doing my bidding! And Myers is just jealous because he can't talk! That's the only problem in this apartment."

When he had finished his speech, his chest was heaving and there was a mad gleam in his eyes. Surprisingly Michael didn't respond to Freddy's comments, just sat back with Ghostface and watched the show unfolding before them...Jason suddenly jumped from his chair and unsheathed his machete.

You want another go, fucker?!

Freddy jumped out of his chair as well. "Bitch! I swear if you ever throw another god damned note in my face I'll cut you up!"

Jason rolled his eyes. Yeah that's a threat. I believe that you already tried that once-your adorable little fingernails didn't even hurt! What a pussy you are, Kruger!

Freddy pounced on top of him just then, looking as deadly as a wild animal. "You bitch! I fucking swear..." and he elbowed Jason in the head then started slicing him in the ribs with his clawed hand. "What's wrong, motherfucker? Can't fight back?"

Jason didn't respond or write another note, just took Freddy by the arm and flung him on the floor then brought down his machete; Freddy blocked it with his claws and went to kick him in the nuts, but Jason caught his foot, picked him up and threw him to the other side of the room. Then, after taking a second to crack his neck, Jason went to the door of the apartment.

"Wait!" Ghostface called to him, "Where are you going?"

Jason didn't answer or even write a note, just slammed the door. Ghostface and Michael stared at each other as Freddy slowly rose to his feet. "I coulda took him if he played fair... I coulda won..."

Ghostface rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. We know Kruger. Trust us, we know."

"Where's that stupid bitch going?" Freddy asked as he got shakily to his feet and looked around the apartment as though trying to remember where he was. He felt a piece of paper being thrust into the palm of his hand.

Michael: Where else does he have to go? Camp Crystal Lake, of course!

Freddy's eyes lit up. "Then that's where we're going."

Ghostface hurriedly shook his head and stood in front of the door, blocking the only exit. "No way, Kruger! This therapy thing might not have gone as planned but-"

"As planned? What was planned?"

Ghostface looked shiftily to Michael who just stood there not daring to move a muscle. Finally he managed to stutter out, "Uh...well the thing about that is that...um..."

But Freddy wasn't even listening anymore, just grasping at the door know and trying to push Ghostface out the way. "Move you stupid mother...move!"

Michael shook his head. He can't do that, Kruger. If you go after Voorhees...suddenly he stopped writing and glanced at Ghostface very quickly then pushed him out the way. Immediately Freddy rushed out of the door. Michael glanced down at the only remaining killer. Sorry but I had to do it.

"No you most definitely did not! God you are one psychotic idiot! Now Kruger's going to...fight Jason?"

Michael nodded. Yeah. And what will happen when he goes to do this?

Suddenly they both began jumping up and down in excitement. "Then Freddy will get his sorry burnt ass beat and we'll be the only ones left! Jason will want to stay at Camp Crystal Lake and that'll be that! That plan is just delicious Myers! Just like your ass..."

Michael's eyes became wide and questioning. What?

"Nothing! I just said that the plan is just...just great..."

I know, isn't it? But shouldn't we you know...get going and try to find Jason before Kruger does? I don't know about you but I fully plan on witnessing the downfall of Freddy Kruger.

Ghostface shrugged. "I don't think so...can't we just hang out here...you know, just you and me?"

Michael backed away towards the door a little and reached for the knob. Uh...no!

"Sorry, too far?"

He nodded. Yeah. Too far.

"Sorry. Just forget I said that."

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The smell of the trees and water was the only thing that filled Jason's mind as he walked back through the old Camp Crystal Lake sign. Ahead of him looked the many old, abandoned cabins. Sighing, Jason took in the lovely too familiar air but stopped; had he heard something that sounded mysteriously like laughing?

Whirling around, Jason was just able to see Freddy's fist flying at his face before in hit him, producing a loud crack as his fist collided with Jason's hockey mask. Jason fell back into the dirt as Freddy cursed and gripped his gloved hand.

"Shit! Son of a...you and your damn hockey mask...fuck! That stings like a mother-"

Jason glared at him and suddenly whipped out his machete and slashed at Freddy's leg. As soon as it tore into his slacks and hacked through his flesh Freddy was down on one knee, trying to regain his footing.

Freddy tried to defend himself and as the machete was raised before him he cried, "Wait!" and Jason did indeed hesitate. "Don't you even want to know how I got here so fast?"

Jason didn't write a note but lowered his machete and stared at Freddy with a look of confusion in his eyes. Freddy smiled wickedly and jumped up, raised his clawed hand high in the air and then started slashing at him in any way that he could. As he did so he managed to call out, "Walking is slow...but taking the bus is fast motherfucker!"

Suddenly from the bushes near the camp sign Ghostface's loud, obnoxious voice called, "Okay, okay...just shut up...hey look! It's Freddy!" and his ghostly mask popped out of the brush. "Hi Freddy!"

"Well you seem awfully cheerful fuck face-"

The machete was swung at him but Freddy dodged it and jumped up and landed on top of Jason's shoulder and began stabbing him in the neck and kicking him at the same time.

Michael looked worried as Jason was brought to his knees. What will happen if Jason actually loses? Freddy sure as hell won't want to go back to Elm Street. He would miss fucking with someone other than hormonal teenagers.

Ghostface shrugged and laughed, not caring much either way. "Voorhees is totally getting the shit beat out of him...isn't it funny that such a little guy like Freddy could-"

Without warning Jason had detached Freddy from him and threw him against a tree. Quickly retrieving his machete, Jason rushed over to where Freddy lay and rammed the blade into his chest, nailing him to the tree.

Freddy didn't stay like that for long though; in a few seconds he had pulled the machete out of his chest and thrust it into Jason's abdomen. Jason staggered back a few paces, his eyes wide and befuddled, then fell to the ground with a heavy thud.

Cautiously Ghostface and Michael got up from the bushes. With reluctance Ghostface made his way over to the corpse of Jason and glanced down at it. Instinctively Jason reached up and clasped his giant hand round Ghostface's throat, cutting off his air circulation. Ghostface struggled and trembled at Jason rose to his feet but Freddy and Michael ignored his cries of terror.

Freddy held his head up proudly. "See? I told you that I could do it if it was a fair fight!"

Michael rolled his eyes. You only won because you snuck up on him...and I don't think that he appreciated that...

Just as he finished writing his little note, Jason had dropped Ghostface and had proceeded to wrap his hands around Freddy's throat. "Oh shit!" he whispered as Jason began strangling him. Freddy jabbed his claws in Jason's arm, making hid grip lessen then swept them across his hockey mask. "Let me go!"

Ghostface worked up the breath to laugh and said, "You wanted a fair fight Kruger! So fight it!"

"B-but he's so...big. How can I beat him?"

Michael: And I thought that Freddy wasn't a pussy...he can't even fight a silly old retard like Jason!

"Shut your smart ass up, Myers!" Freddy hissed as he slashed at Jason and missed. Then suddenly Freddy remember something...something important...water! With a wicked smile plastered onto his face he began running towards the lake, the only place that Jason was truly afraid of in the entire world.

Jason seemed to know what was happening but didn't bolt on after Kruger. Instead he just walked there with a sort of slow calmness. Ghostface on the other hand ran after him. Michael was just as slow as Jason so they inevitably ended up walking close by.

Michael: Long night, huh Voorhees?

Jason shrugged. I was sort of expecting it eventually.

But when you win you won't be coming back to live with me and Ghostface, will you?

He glared at Michael. What would give you that idea, Myers? After I beat Freddy the place will be a lot quieter and well...in case you haven't noticed, Camp Crystal Lake isn't what it used to be...no one's been here for years except a creepy old hermit or two and this place doesn't exactly have wonderful memories.

Michael looked ahead, his eyes wide and astonished...their whole plan was absolutely useless.

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"Heeeeeey! Wait, Kruger! What are you doing?" Ghostface called as Freddy ran into the murky waters of Camp Crystal Lake. He glared at Ghostface.

"None of you fucking business! Now go away! You're ruining my plan!"

Ghostface sighed in exasperation and looked up at the dark night sky. "What plan, Kruger? I don't think that you should get in that water...didn't Jason rise from the dead in that water?"

"It doesn't matter! I'm winning this fight, bitch! Now get the fuck off my case!" Freddy yelled back at him as he waded out into the deeper end of the lake, so that the water was waist high. Ghostface put his hands on his hips and thought for a second...what was he gonna do now?

As Jason burst out of the bushes, Freddy waved his hands in the air trying to get his attention. "Hey! You big stupid retard! Why don't you come for a little swim?!"

Michael stared puzzled at the water. What's with him? Didn't you rise from the dead in that water?

Jason nodded. Yeah but he knows that I have a little weakness towards the stuff...not a big one though considering that for the majority of my movies I actually lived at the bottom of the lake...then again every waking hour at that time was pretty much like hell for me...much like today. But there's also one little thing that Kruger doesn't know about.

What?

Before Jason could answer two rotting arms rose out of the water and took Freddy beneath the surface. Ghostface reeled back and fell into the mud that made up the lake's shore. Micahel just looked more confused than ever and Jason smiled under his hockey mask. Picture perfect.

"What the fucking hell was that...that thing?" Ghostface asked as he managed to haul himself out of the mud and muck. Jason glared down at him.

My mother.

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"Ow! Fuck! Don't do that!" Freddy hissed as Ghostface tried to wrap yet another bandage around his tattered leg.

"Do you want it to get infected?"

Stubbornly, Freddy crossed his arms over his chest and didn't even look at the other slasher as he responded, "No."

"Good...then let me-" just as he managed to wrap the bandage once round his leg Freddy kicked him in the face. Ghostface staggered back, gripping his ghostly mask. "Ow! You asshole!"

Jason rolled his eyes. Just let it go. If it gets infected I'll chop it.

"Hell no you won't! This is all you and your dumb ass mother-"

Don't you fucking dare!

Freddy sighed. "You know the only reason that you..."

Michael smiled under his mask. Go ahead Kruger...say it.

"W-w...lost was because of your mommy."

Ghostface hauled himself onto the couch. "Boy you just can't bring yourself to say it, can you Kruger?"

He glared at Ghostface. "Say what, bitch?"

Jason: Just say it. Say that you lost.

"I didn't lose! I just didn't...win exactly...but I didn't lose." Freddy muttered as he looked crossly at his ripped up leg. "And for the record, you mother is a bitch. I mean that was just a lame ass move man! Seriously!"

Michael: Why so serious?

All of them were silent for a second then they all groaned. Michael sighed. What did I do now?

"Motherfucker! Now that's a lawsuit! God damn it Myers! Now we're all gonna get sued out of our asses." Ghostface said.

"Yeah well. That's all fine and all but what about my problem? God, fuck face. You're so selfish!"

Well lawsuit or not I think that we learned a very important lesson today...Jason wrote. Michael glanced at him.

Which would be?

That you really shouldn't talk shit if you can't deliver.

"Oh please. I'll fight you any time of day and I'll still win!" Freddy insisted. Jason just shrugged.

I think that we all know who the winner was here and that's enough for me.

"Yeah," Ghostface muttered under his breath, "the winner was your stupid ass mother..."

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Thanks for reading. I guess that there isn't much to say other than that I'm really trying to hurry up and put out all the episodes that I can before school starts again. Oh yeah, and something else you should know is this:

intermittent explosive disorder is officially defined- Road rage. Domestic abuse. Angry outbursts or temper tantrums that involve throwing or breaking objects. Sometimes such erratic eruptions can be caused by a condition known as intermittent explosive disorder. Intermittent explosive disorder is characterized by repeated episodes of aggressive, violent behavior in which you react grossly out of proportion to the situation. People with intermittent explosive disorder may attack others and their possessions, causing bodily injury and property damage.

AND MY DEFINITION TO MAKE IT A LITTLE EASIER TO UNDERSTAND...A condition that is caused by drinking too much mountain dew and having a fit of uncontrollable rage because your mother says that you can't do what you want when you want-in Michael's case probably killing people-

Just in case you didn't know what it was because I had to Google it after watching Halloween Resurrection. But anyways...

[FYI] this definition was not found in Wikipedia for those of you who don't particularly like it-Wikipedia that is-I don't have a problem with it but I can understand how some other people have a problem with it.