Episode 16-The Official Return of Pinhead

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Freddy let out a huge, obnoxious yawn and stretched. "What time is it?"

Ghostface shifted on his sleeping place on the floor and shrugged. "Dunno...probably sometime in 2009 I'd expect."

"Shut up..."

"Well it's true-"

Jason glared at them both. You'd both better shut up. I'm still sleeping.

"Then why are your eyes open?" Freddy asked him slyly. Ghostface laughed and pointed at Jason.

"Ooh...epic fail."

Shut up.

"Why is it that we've just woken up and already two people have told me to shut up? I can't be that intolerable, can I?"

Now Michael shifted on his place on the floor and sighed. The bigger question is why we've all got morning wood.

"Yeah. A house full of dudes and we all have morning wood." Freddy muttered and sat up on the couch. He was just about to turn on the T.V. When a scent caught him off guard...he cringed and held his nose. "What the fuck is that smell?"

Jason: I told you that showers were good for you Kruger but you didn't believe me-

Freddy sneered at him. "No not that! And for the record I do take showers...it's just a bad smell..."

Michael: It's probably our clothes. We haven't washed them since before we got here...lord knows if Ghostface even knows how to wash clothes.

Ghostface was disgusted by the mere thought of it. "Hell no. That's woman's work!"

"Well I know that I don't know how to wash clothes. And I say that just because of that little comment fuck face will wash the clothes. So here-" he took of his Christmas sweater and threw it at Ghostface, "-go wash them."

Ghostface looked around and saw that yet again it was up to him to pick up everyone else's slack. Heaving a huge sigh he got to his feet and collected everyone's dirty clothes.

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"Son of a motherfucking bitch...I don't even know where the washroom is..." he muttered as he stumbled down the stairs. Of course the elevator was broken, so Ghostface was left to just trip down the stairs, nearly breaking his neck. But eventually he found the washroom tucked away in the lowest level of the building.

"Huh...wonder how no one's noticed it before." Ghostface asked as he dumped the clothes in the washer. But something clung to his black shirt. As he tried to get it to detach from the material, it just ripped a huge gash in his shirt. "Shit! What the fuck..."

It was a cube that seemed oddly familiar...it clung to his black shirt with little hooks. Ghostface sighed and ripped it off the his shirt, making it nothing but a mess of black fabric. He sighed. "Well I guess I don't need to wash this any more." and he threw the tattered shirt on the ground and stared at the cube.

There was something just...mesmerizing about it...he swallowed and began to twist the cube in different ways much like a Rubik's cube. Finally when he could twist it no more he shook it then in frustration flung it against the washer. "God damn it...can't even solve a stupid Rubik's cube...if only I was Asian..."

And he thought that it was over, he had completely ruined it but in a few seconds hooks shot out of the cube. Ghostface gasped and jumped on top of the sputtering washer and covered his head as the whole room went red for a second.

It was Pinhead who first stepped out of the gathering mist. His black eyes surveyed the room and finally fell on Ghostface. Rolling his eyes he reached over and put his pale hand round his neck. "Where is he?"

As the only remaining Cenobites, Butterball and the Chatterer stepped out of the mist Ghostface shrugged. "I...I don't know...I was just washing my clothes and I-"

Pinhead glared at him and with a quick flick of his hand a chain came out of nowhere and lodged itself into Ghostface's back. Leaning very close to him, Pinhead whispered in his deadly voice, "Do...not...lie...to me."

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"Yeah but that's not the point. Simon is totally better than Paula just because of the fact that he does his job while Paula's off in never land and getting high off of her own hairspray."

Jason shrugged. She's still better. I-

There was a knock on the door. Michael sighed and got up. I'll get it...I wouldn't dream of interrupting your little debate.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't come back neither." Freddy said and then he turned back to Jason. "Okay. I see your point but it's just crap...I mean honesty Simon is the show."

What about Seacrest?

Freddy laughed at this. "Ryan Seacrest? The leprechaun from God knows where? He doesn't even-"

"Well I think that Paula is definitely the better judge if you ask me." Pinhead said as he stepped boldly into the room towing behind him Ghostface and Michael. He jerked his head in their direction, "These two certainly have gotten out of shape. And I regret to inform you that Ghostface's mouth isn't any tighter than it was before, in fact it almost seems looser."

Freddy jumped to his feet. "What are you doing here? Who let you out-"

"Who let me out of my prison? My hell? It may surprise you-even disappoint you-to discover that it was Ghostface. He is quite handy with puzzles apparently. Unlike you...tell me Kruger, what have you been up to lately while me and my friends were confined in hell?"

Behind him the Chatterer and Butterball stepped in, both looking deadlier than usual. Jason glared at them. What's it to you? Why don't you just get out of here now while you still can?

Pinhead laughed, his deep voice ringing out throughout the apartment. "Ah ha...you are all fools. And soon you shall be fools without a home. Observe." he held up the cube and pushed Ghostface and Michael out of his way. Caressing the cube a little, he then turned it and with a few electric charges and a little wind about a hundred more slashers popped out of the cube, all looking around with confused looks on their faces.

As Jason's mother popped her little head out of the crowd Jason seemed to redden and he tried to conceal his hockey mask clad face. Pinhead smiled. "Well. Looks like the whole party's arrived. Gentlemen...and the few ladies...please make yourselves at home."

And with those words the slashers-not including Freddy, Ghostface, Michael and Jason of course-started pushing over tables, raiding the fridge and just tearing up the place. Freddy glared at Pinhead. "So what? Your grand plan is to trash our place? Is that it?"

Pinhead just smiled. "Something like that. Oh goodness Kruger! Your ignorance amuses me so! My plan to get you evicted!" from behind him Jason's mother came forward.

"Where's my little boy? Jason? Jaaaaaason!"

Jason's eyes grew wide as he looked around for a hiding place. He ran to the only room available-the bathroom and slammed the door. Ghostface hurried over and tried to wretch open the bathroom door but it wouldn't open.

"Come one Voorhees! Level with me here-we need a hiding place too!"

Freddy dragged him away from the bathroom door. "Just give it up fuck face. It's all over now."

Ghostface shook his head as a loud rock song began to play, making the whole room shake. "But I didn't mean to-"

"I know."

"It was an accident!"

Freddy rolled his eyes and nodded. "I know."

"There were chains in my back-see?" he turned around and around the bony outline of his spine there were little puncture wounds, still bleeding a little. Freddy nodded yet again.

"I know-"

"He said that he wouldn't kill anyone."

"I KNOW, OKAY?! Just shut the fuck up and stop feeling sorry for yourself! If anything feel sorry for me...Pinhead's my problem now fuck face. Now...wait-where's Myers?" he asked, turning around and looking every which way. There came a knocking from the glass balcony doors. Michael waved to them and motioned to the door.

He held up a sign; Good luck getting them outta here.

Freddy helped Ghostface to his feet and shouted at the window, "Of fuck you to hell Myers! God damn him...what are we gonna do now? How are we gonna get them to get outta my apartment?"

Ghostface shrugged. "Why not try being nice?"

He scoffed. "That's the..." he looked around and sighed. The other slashers hadn't even been there for 15 minutes and already the damage would cost him an extra year's worth rent. Swallowing all his pride, he pushed his way through the crowd and jumped on top of the kitchen table and held his hands up in the air, motioning for silence. When no one complied he took a deep breath and yelled, "Heeeey! Shut the fuck up!"

They all grew silent and stared at him murderously. One of them, a young lady with curly blond hair and an astonishingly thin frame named Alex Forrest-Fatal Attraction-yelled right back at him, "You shut up! Why I listen to you? Especially after that one night...you promised to call back but you didn't! I won't be ignored Frederick!"

Freddy glared at her. "First off Alex it was only a one night stand-I told you that but you went all psycho bitch crazy on me so yeah, I had to dump you. It was hot sex but not worth the whole stalker aspect...now the rest of you! Get the fuck out of my apartment!"

"You dirty bird! Why is the word 'fuck' in every other thing you say?"

"First of all Anne Wilkes, you were in a movie based off of a Stephen King book...that's pretty low...secondly-"

Now it was Pennywise who was speaking as he slowly crawled out of the drain. "Why should we listen to you when you've screwed nearly all of us over? Or thought about it? We're over you now Mister Kruger!"

Ghostface's voice sounded from the back of the crowd. "Pennywise we had a deal!"

The clown shrugged as it finally succeeded in getting out of the sink drain. "Kee-rect! But I grow tired of the cramped living space...and it's time for Mr. Bob Grey to feed."

The whole room erupted into cheers as Freddy hopped off the table and retreated to the back of the room. "Well that didn't work!"

Yeah but-"

"Hey Jason?!" Norman Bates called into the bathroom, "Hey, Mr. Voorhees? Me and the others were just having a little debate over which one of us was the bigger mamma's boy...who do you think it is?" when no response came Norman stifled a laugh and pressed his ear to the door, "What? Speak up Jason, we can't hear you-"

The whole room erupted into laughter, even Pinhead who was draped across the couch and watching an episode of Family Guy. Jason on the other hand, burst out of the bathroom, breaking it off its hinges. He stepped forward and grabbed Norman Bates by his scrawny neck and tried to strangle him but someone tapped his shoulder.

What? He thought as he turned around. Mrs. Voorhees was glaring at him, her lips a thin line.

"Jason you put that nice young boy down and let your mother take care of it!"

Jason shook his head stubbornly as he continued to strangle Norman Bates. But I don't wanna.

"Young man listen to your mother this instant!"

Freddy and Ghostface watched in amazement as Jason let Bates go and slumped his shoulders. The others doubled over in laughter as Jason slumped his shoulders and resentfully allowed himself to be escorted outside by his mother.

Once Norman had stopped chocking he laughed. "Ha! What a mamma's boy!"

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"Now you play nicely with you little friend here...hello Michael." Mrs. Voorhees said brightly as she opened the the balcony door and pushed her son outside. Michael seemed surprised buy nodded all the same.

Hello Mrs. Voorhees.

"You're going to look after my boy, aren't you sweetie?"

Michael nodded again. Yes ma'am. You can count on me.

"Good. Then mommy will be back in a few hours to take you home, okay Jason?"

Jason's eyes got wide. Take me home?

She smiled grew. "Oh yes. We're going back home to Camp Crystal Lake, darling. Now I'll see you in a couple of hours."

Once she had left another woman came in, Alex Forrest. She looked from Jason to Michael and stopped. Taking a few steps toward Michael, she lashed out and slapped the living hell out of him. He staggered back in his seat and jumped to his feet. Ow! What was that for Allie?

She glared at him. "You are an asshole Michael Myers! You said that...you said..." her voice trailed off as she wiped tears from the corners of her eyes and sniffled. Jason's eyes twinkled.

This is getting good...

Michael's eyes looked desperate as her fingers clawed at his mask. "You asshole! You promised-"

He shook his head. First off I was very clear at the time that it was only gonna be a one time thing...usually chicks that I have sex with get mutilated. But you...you're...something a right...

Alex's eyes lit up. "You think that I'm special?"

Jason couldn't help but write, Just how many slashers have you fucked again?

She shrugged and wrapped her arms around Michael. "He was my favorite...just you and me Mikey."

He rolled his eyes and swallowed. Probably not...

"Oh yes! C'mon Mikey...we're going in the apartment right now so that we can do it-"

No we're not.

Alex nodded and drug him to the balcony door. No matter how much Jason sat there and watched him, nothing was done. Please! Michael wrote, Please don't leave me! She'll fucking rape me man-

Jason stared down at him amused and shook his head. Sorry. I don't interfere where love is involved. Have fun...and don't let her suck your dick too much now.

"Oh Jason! When I'm done with Mikey I'll fuck you if you want!" Alex squealed as she wretched open the balcony door. Jason shook his head.

No, no. That won't be necessary. You two just have fun.

"We definitely will." and Alex towed Michael into the house and disappeared into the crowd of other slashers. Jason sighed contentedly and looked up at the stars.

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Freddy sighed. "I hate this shit."

"Why?" Ghostface asked, "Is it because you're in a room full of people who hate you? Or maybe it's because Alex Forrest, one of the only girls that have willingly had sex with you, is now trying to rape Michael?"

He gasped and looked around the room. "What?"

"Look," Ghostface said, pointing to Michael who was trying to break free of Alex's grasp. "See? Boy she really has a fancy for him, doesn't she?"

Freddy crossed his arms and became very moody. "I'm sexier anyway."

"Hmm," Ghostface muttered, "I'd beg to differ-"

"Shut the fuck up, you ever loving gigolo! Nobody asked you!" Freddy exclaimed. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at them. Ghostface swallowed.

"Uh...I think that we should..."

Freddy nodded. "Right."

And they both ran to hide in the bathroom. Once inside they sat shakily down on the tiled floor and thought...thought of any plan that might get them out of their current predicament, anything at all. Finally Ghostface's head popped up and he jumped to his feet and went for the sink.

He wrapped his hands around the sink faucet and pulled with all his might. Freddy looked at him oddly. "What are you doing?"

It took a second for him to answer but he finally managed to hiss, "Flooding the bathroom...do me a favor and turn the bathtub on, will ya?"

Freddy shook his head. "No I will not! This will still be my apartment after Pinhead's hit the road and-"

"It won't be unless you help me. Since we can't just tell them to get out or force them, what better way then washing them out? It sure would save some time." Ghostface said. With one more exertion of force, he wretched the pipes out and away from the wall. Water sprayed him in the face but he still hurried over to the tub and turned that on as well.

Freddy sighed and sploshed down on the floor, in the water that now covered the floor. "This is gay."

"Yeah but it has to work. If it doesn't we're out on our asses in the street."

But Freddy wasn't listening to anything Ghostface said, in fact he was trying to ignore him. He was trying very hard not to stare at his now bare and drenched, pale chest as water began to fill up the bathroom. He swallowed and looked at his soggy shoes.

"Hey...fuck face?"

"What?" Ghostface asked as he looked around the bathroom for anything else to break.

"Where's your shirt?"

He shrugged. "The cube was clinging onto it and when I tried to get it off it tore in half. Why?"

Freddy shook his head. "Nothing, nothing. Just-hey, what's that noise?"

They both listened, pressed their ears to the door as water began to leak out of the bathroom and into the living room area beyond it. Scratching sounds came from the other side of the door then...chains shot into the bathroom and threatened to rip the door off its hinges.

"Oh shit! What are we gonna do? How are we gonna-"

Ghostface grabbed the doorknob and pulled. The chains just pulled harder, making his wet shoes slide across the floor. Ghostface began to panic. "Help me Kruger!"

Freddy stared clueless at him as the door gave out a loud, splintering crack and threatened to break in half altogether. "What? How-"

"I don't know...grab onto my waist."

"What?!"

"Just do it."

Freddy sighed and resentfully-or maybe not so much-wrapped his arms around Ghostface's pale and thin torso. "You know that I don't enjoy this."

"And you think that I do? I-"

Even with their combined efforts the door began to splinter all over again. But that wasn't even their biggest problem. The water was getting to be so high that they were having trouble keeping their footing.

Ghostface winced as Freddy's claws began to cut in between his ribs. "Kruger...stop hugging onto me so hard-I can't breath!"

"Sorry I-" that was all that he could say before the chains ripped the door off it's hinges all together and water went flooding in immeasurable waves into the rest of the apartment.

Every other slasher was quickly swept off their feet; Dracula, Frankenstein, the Wolf Man, Pinhead and his two cenobites, Pennywise and Freddy even swore that he saw Leatherface waving his huge chainsaw in the air before the water reached him.

It didn't stay in the apartment for long either. But still, Freddy and Ghostface clung desperately to what had once been the bathroom door. When it was all over and the water had stopped rushing out of the bathroom Ghostface tentatively raised his head.

"Is...is it over?"

Freddy shook his head. "No...I don't think that it is..."

Everyone in the room, was silent as the water rose and flooded half the room, at least five feet of water in the apartment. Then Pinhead broke the surface, chocking and sputtering. He pointed at Freddy and glared at him.

"You...you..."

Freddy smiled craftily and held tightly onto the wooden door. "What?"

"Asshole!"

"Ohh...burn." Ghostface said, rolling his eyes. Beside him Jason rose above the surface of the water. His gaze fell on Freddy and threw a soggy piece of paper at him.

What now genius?

Freddy shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't think this far into the plan yet-"

"Your plan?" Ghostface asked.

He nodded. "Yeah. If it wasn't for me holding onto you-"

Whoa what have I missed?

"Shut up Voorhees." Freddy said as he tapped his claws impatiently against the wooden door. "I just want to-what was that?" he looked over to the main apartment door and it quaked and even more water filled the room.

Jason looked around. I wonder where Myers is. I hope he didn't-

"Voorhees shut up and grab the door." Ghostface said as he climbed up a little more on the door and gripped it so hard his knuckles shown white. Although Jason's eyes shined with curiosity he grabbed the door with one hand. Ghostface glared at him. "Both hands on the door smart ass!"

He rolled his eyes and white-knuckled the door with both hands. Just as he did so the door to the apartment burst open and the water along with all the slashers flooded out into the hall. The whole door went underwater for a second but found its way to the surface once more, and this time Pinhead was clinging to it for dear life, the puzzle box in his mouth.

Freddy glared at him and tried to push him off the door, but as the same time trying to keep his now dripping, soggy top hat on his bald head. "You...you'd better get off our door, bitch!"

"Make me!" Pinhead said, his black eyes looking especially dead as the water rose in the hall. "Besides it doesn't look to me like you've got any of your usual muscle to back up your words. Where's that over sized retard Jason or that prick Michael?"

Ghostface struggled to keep his head above water as he kicked his feet and tried to get his now water-filled shoes off his feet. "He's not a prick...he's just really good a fucking dudes-"

"Don't wanna hear it! Now where is Myers and Voor-fuck face?"

"What?"

Pinhead's eyes got wide and he asked shakily, "D...did one of you just touch my foot?"

Ghostface shook his head. "No...but I just felt it to-"

Pinhead gasped. "I think it's-" but it was too late and he went underwater, a flurry of bubbling, bloody water behind him. Freddy looked beneath him and saw a huge, unimaginably horrible great white shark.

He scrambled to climb on the door. Ghostface stared at him oddly but didn't hesitate to follow suit. He hugged his knees to his chest as the whole door threatened to give way under their combined weight. "H-he took the cube."

"And the shark ate the cube. Huh. Well that solves that problem." Freddy said in almost a cheerful way. "But what I still don't understand is where the fuck Myers and Voorhees is."

He felt Ghostface shrug, his bare shoulders dripping. God he was freezing. "I d-d-don't know but I hope that Myers is okay."

Freddy rolled his eyes. "You do know that the one night was just a fluke, right? He's not going to fuck you again...never again. Get it? Before we hurried into the bathroom he was getting busy with that Fatal Attraction chick-"

"Unhappily."

"Oh just shut up."

And they both sat there in silence, ignoring the other slashers' pleas for help as they too got eaten by the monstrous shark and what appeared to be the Creature of the Black Lagoon.

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After about an hour the water was down to knee-high level and the swimming horrors had retreated back to their rightful quarters. Freddy awoke once again to a horrible stench.

"Ugh...fuck face what's that smell?"

Ghostface raised his head about two inches off the ground and smacked his lips tiredly. "I dunno...I'm cold. What happened last night again?"

Freddy shuddered and rose to his feet. He wrung out his Christmas sweater and wrapped his arms around himself, trying desperately to get warm again. "I don't know...oh yeah. You let Pinhead out the cube, he unleashed a bunch of other slashers to trash the place and...and we lost Myers and Voorhees."

Ghostface got up and looked around the deserted hall and went to go get his shoes, still wet and forever soggy. He came back, his teeth chattering. "I think that the smell is mold...we must have flooded the entire floor!"

"Then we'd better go make sure that the water's turned off." Freddy said as he pushed Ghostface towards the apartment. "Ladies first."

"Huh. Good one, realllllll classy." and he went inside.

The inside of the apartment reeked with mold and dankness. "Wow." Freddy muttered, "Mold sure does grow fast, doesn't it?"

Ghostface shrugged his bare and dripping shoulders. "Who cares? No one is trying to be technical here...hey look! By the T.V.!"

Freddy crept up and hid behind the couch and stifled a laugh; there was Jason and Michael, sleeping one on top the other. He motioned for Ghostface to join him and together they said softly, just loud enough for Michael and Jason to hear, "Aww...how sweet!"

Jason was the first to open his eyes and look around. He pushed Michael roughly aside and glared defensively at Freddy. It was...just how it happened-

"Oh it happened alright!" he said, doubling over in laughter.

Ghostface seemed almost hurt. "Wow. Looks like someone certainly weathered out the storm, huh?"

Michael shook his head and readjusted his jumpsuit. You think we-hell no! I almost drowned...I-

"You don't have to explain yourself Myers...we know exactly what you're talking about!" Freddy said as he gasped for air. Jason rose to his feet.

How can you even assume that? We're not even naked or in our underwear or anything!

"I think that aside from the constant gay butt sex in this place it isn't so bad...Pinhead's gone once and for all-"

"That's what you said last time. Idiot..."

"SHUT UP FUCK FACE! Now as I was saying...yeah aside from all that, it's not so bad. Pinhead's gone for now and so is the damned cube...his two little cenobites aren't coming back anytime soon and everything is fine and as Myers would say-or write-peachy."

Jason sighed and wrung out his brown jacket and stepped out of his soggy shoes. What I don't understand is how Pinhead managed to squeeze that many other slashers in the puzzle box to begin with...I mean how can she just-

Michael glared at him. Shut up Voorhees. Don't point out the loophole...that just makes you seem like an arrogant asshole.

"Why can't he feel free to ask questions? It's a free world man!" Ghostface said, his druggie behavior returning to him.

Freddy shrugged. "I can't see how that's important in any case. All that matters is that we have our apartment back and..." he looked around at all the soggy furniture and watery carpet. The smell of mold filled his nostrils and he sighed. "Guess we're sleeping outside tonight. Damn!"

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Will Pinhead be back? Will Michael and Jason develop a romance? How many gay relationships are currently developing between the four slashers? I don't really know. If I'd have to guess, I'd say [D] All of the above.

Yeah, lol I passed the iLEAP with flying colors.

But I really don't know. And just for your information I have at least...oh let's say three or so more episodes planned. Thanks for reading. :]