D. O. D. S.

DOMINANT OBSESSIVE DEVIANT SUBMISSION

Disclaimer: Everything Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is based on true events. The location has been changed to protect everyone involved. Apologies in advance for what will happen to some of our beloved characters. Story is rated M and if you are under 18, you really should not be reading this.

A/N: Thank you all for following the story, those that have just started to follow the story and those that have commented. Thank you again to my awesome beta, Mrs. SWS. Reality can sometimes be more unbelievable than the fantasy. This is my therapy and thanks for taking an interest.

CHAPTER 9

Leaning on the bathroom counter, away from the door, I shuddered as if I stood outside in the middle of a Baltimore winter. My mind was reeling, trying to put a finger on what had happened. His voice, it had a control on my mind that just did not make any sense. It was unsympathetic, but warm. I found myself responding as much to the tone as to the words. Nothing had restrained me aside from my robe sash binding my hands, yet I hadn't moved. I felt compelled to do as he said and this is when I really started to question myself.

We "played" a little before but what happened at that staircase wall was something different.

There was fear, but above all there was an intense wanting; a yearning for more of something that did not make sense. Who in their right mind actually leaned into the swing of the belt, pushing their ass out and creating a bigger target? The arousal that followed was humiliatingly sustaining. My body was giving off new responses to something that, understandably, my mind could not comprehend. I wanted him to be happy with what he saw when he looked at me, but the logical side won this fight.

Despite being deep in my contemplations, I heard footsteps slowly coming up the stairs, headed towards my current sanctuary. I did not blink, nor move. It was as if with each step, my breath was being pulled out of my lungs and refusing to return. There were two very soft knocks on the door that divided me from confusion and what-the-hell!

Knock, Knock

"Bella? Bella, I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me. Please talk to me. Let me know you are okay." Edward tried to open the door and found it locked. I heard him lean his head on the door.

"Sweetheart, please open the door so that we can talk about this. I did not mean to frighten you or lose control. Please talk to me. ..Please..."

There was a tremor to his words that pulled on my soul. I wanted to accept what he was saying as truth. I needed to believe him, but the anxiety would not release me down the rabbit hole. I simultaneously tried to put some strength into my words while at the same time struggling to get my hands released. At that moment I gave life to the words in my heart with all the honesty I could muster in response to his plea.

"I – I need some time. I have to just clear my head," I whimpered as I shifted in place like a chained elephant at the circus.

"Baby, please let me in. Everything is going to okay. Just open the door for me please."

I was halfway to the door to let him in when a little common sense kicked in with a very gentle statement –not yet. That was all that it took to bring me spiraling back to the present.

"No," I all but whispered. "Not yet…"

And then there was silence; such a deadly thing. 'No' was something that I had never said to him before, and meant it. Previously my responses had always been yes - lust-filled, but yes to the core. There was an inner part of me that wanted to deal with what happened by myself, in order to understand it better and understand me better. So in the silence of the bathroom – my sanctuary – I wrapped myself in a towel, leaned against the wall, slowly slid down it, and just sat.

Little girl lost

###

Sometime later, I realized I fell asleep sitting on the floor with my head leaning back against the wall. With the pain in my ass from sitting and the kink in my shoulder about to form, I groggily stood up and made my way to the door. Curiosity was getting the better of me in more ways than one.

Where is he? It is so quiet out there – a little too quiet for my liking… Okay, time to do something you shout at the movie screen not to do.

I put my ear to the wood grain, straining to hear a sound from outside the door. Nothing came, not even the sounds of the house settling. The lost little girl inside me screamed, "Pussy! Better not be here!" She felt like now she had the gumption and moxie to have a voice. I opened the door and glanced around to the bedroom; he was not there. I noticed I couldn't see his bag either. Grabbing the bull by the horns, I headed towards the staircase. I went determinedly to the kitchen to see if he was sitting in there waiting for me. Imagine my surprise to find the kitchen empty with the exception of a lone envelope on the table with my name on it in his beautiful handwriting..

Dearest Bella,

I do ask for forgiveness for my behavior and I have no explanation that can be written as to why it happened. It is my hope that you can forgive me. It was never my aim to mete out any form of pain or discomfort on you, ever. You must know that I love, care and appreciate you with my entire being. I have and will always treat you with respect and dignity.

Love Always,
Edward

As if I had just gotten a bucket of cold water thrown on me, I looked around frantically. Reality set in. Sadly, he had left.

Fuck!

A/N: Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.