Chapter 3

Each time, it was always the same: Charlie went to a new school, met someone, spent the following days knowing her new friends and learning their names, and then she had to move again, suddenly, and the story started again. This time, she hoped things went differently. Maybe she would have stayed in that city a little bit longer...
Therefore, she spent the next two days trying to know better her new friends from the Glee club, hoping she wouldn't have to forget and replace them too soon, until Wednesday afternoon arrived.
Charlie was always on time. She just hoped she didn't get the bar address wrong...
She was walking calmly: she already knew she would have arrived to the date on perfect time, and that she would have to wait for Kurt, who would have arrived late, as all boys do. She was pretty surprised, however, when she spotted him right in front of the bar, waiting for her: that boy was different from all the other ones she had met, she was sure of that!
Both ordered a latte, and sat at a table to talk. Charlie struggled to behave like a boy, as usual, but Kurt's presence distracted her continuously.
"So, you've already been in Lima?" asked Kurt.
"Yeah, but I stayed here just for a few months..." Charlie answered.
"Why? What happened?"
"I don't know... Maybe my mother was tired of seeing the same old customers... or maybe she didn't like the fact that I was always trying to get… someone's attention..."
She didn't want to say it had been a boy, so she preferred to use a more ambiguous term...
"Really?" Kurt asked.
"Yes, but it was just a waste of time... That was a very stupid person: four months in the same school, and never noticed me! People are very stupid sometimes..."
Kurt laughed. Charlie had never met a boy who thought she was funny, in some way. In that moment, that laughter sounded like the most beautiful music in the world...
But, what was she doing? She couldn't fall in love again, especially after all the idiots she had met... But although this time it was different, and she had met a boy who was different than the other ones, she couldn't fall in love with him: she had made everyone believe she was a boy, and dating Kurt would have seemed really weird!
"You know, I perfectly know how you feel," Kurt told her. "Maybe that's because I started listening to Nyaga!"
"I didn't believe she had other fan boys! I thought I was the only one!"
"She's great, and I don't think she only speaks to girls, in her songs..."
They spent the rest of the afternoon talking about this and that, from their favorite movies to the food they disliked the most, until Kurt walked Charlie home.

The next day, at school, Kurt was happier than usual, because he thought he finally found his soulmate. Charlie felt in the same way, and she was happy she finally had met a boy who actually cared about her. Charlie didn't tell anyone what happened the previous afternoon, while Kurt told everything to his friend Rachel. Nevertheless, the girl was worried for her friend: what if Charlie didn't feel the same way as him? She didn't want Kurt to be turned down by Charlie, nor Charlie to be forced to reject Kurt. She talked about this with Finn, her boyfriend: she believed that, having persuaded Charlie to join the Glee club only a few days before, he would have certainly managed to explain Charlie the whole situation!
During the lunch break, when everyone was in the school cafeteria, Finn found Charlie sitting alone at a table. He decided it was the perfect situation to talk with the boy, as during lunch everyone was too busy chatting with their friends to eavesdrop their conversation. He approached the table and sat opposite the boy.
"Hi!" he began.
"Hi..." Charlie answered.
That boy had barely said hello to her and Charlie already had the feeling that she would have to move again, for a new strange reason...
"I heard that yesterday Kurt took you for a walk around the city..." Finn went on.
Charlie got the impression that news spread very quickly in that school...
"Well, as I've been here only for a few days, he thought it would have been nice to take me for a walk..." Charlie answered. "After all, there's nothing wrong with two friends going for a walk together..."
"That was exactly what I wanted to talk about... I'm afraid Kurt didn't think of it in the same way..."
"What are you trying to tell me?"
Actually Charlie had already understood what the boy was trying to tell her, but she hoped he was going to tell her something else.
"Perhaps doesn't see you just as a friend, but as a... potential boyfriend!" Finn told her.
"You mean he is..."
Charlie didn't manage to complete the sentence. Her happiness had lasted only a few days, before the world crashed again in front of her own eyes.
'Not another time!' the girl thought.

At the end of the lunch break the bell rang, and Charlie went straight to the choir room, as she had a lesson-free hour. The other members of the Glee club had told her that for them singing was like giving vent to their feelings, and Charlie was looking forward to it.
The choir room was deserted. She was completely alone with her thoughts. She wanted to think about a way to keep staying there, instead of running away, as usual, but it would have ended with her mother discovering everything.
And then, if she had stayed there, what would have happened? Everyone thought she was a boy, and she wasn't brave enough to tell everyone who she really was. If she had told everyone she was a girl, her new friends would have realized she had been teasing them the whole time, and she would certainly have become an outcast.
And what about Kurt? That's all we needed! After spending years searching for the perfect guy for her, with no success, finally, she had found him... Too bad he only had one small flaw: he could not feel the same for her! Or better, he did feel the same for her, but he thought Charlie was actually a boy!
Charlie started to think of the right thing to do, in that moment. She took off her cap and undid her hair. She found herself with a song in her head, and started to sing it. She had known it by heart since the day it had come out, and she had always thought it perfectly described her life.

N°1 was my first love, but I was only 5!
N°2 was from Asia, and soon he said 'Goodbye!'.
N°3 was nothing special, but I liked boys with glasses!
N°4 was my best friend, but now I wanna kick him in the a**! Oh!

She hadn't sung with her actual voice for a long time. Obviously she thought that the version sung by her favorite singer was infinitely superior to the one she was singing in that moment, but at least she was expressing herself, she was giving vent to her feelings, she was finally telling the world what she was feeling.

I didn't really know N°5, cause soon he went away.
I hoped something by N°6, but he had a girlfriend, and now we're in separate ways...
N°7 swam with me, but I was invisible to him!
N°8 was from far away, and now he's gone and left me right here!
I guess something's telling me: 'No more guys, you gotta be free!'

She had always liked the feeling of paying attention to the lyrics of some song and getting the impression that they had been written about someone's own life: it's like a sort of 'connection' between a singer and a fan.
Charlie kept singing, thinking about her life, and didn't notice what happened outside of the room. The song was almost over, when Tina, Artie and Mercedes, three of the other Glee club members, saw Charlie, or better, the real Charlie!

'You gotta forget every guy who made you suffer,
You gotta forget every guy that didn't notice you!'
Please don't be just a jerk like all the other ones,
Please, don't be another one who will make me feel blue!
I just don't deserve someone who will treat me like this,
So promise you won't be another number in my list...
No, no... Another number in my list...

When the song ended, Charlie turned around, and to her great surprise she saw the three people staring at her, as surprised as she was.
"Charlie?" asked Artie, a boy with whom Charlie had hardly ever spoken.
'My life is officially over!' Charlie thought.
"You... are a girl?" Tina asked.
"And why have you lied to us for all this time?" Mercedes asked, suspiciously.
"I haven't lied about everything..." Charlie tried to explain. "It was only a little white lie... And I had a good reason for doing that..."
"Who are you really?" Mercedes went on. "Perhaps you lied about your name too..."
"No, my name's actually Charlie!" the girl answered. "My full name is Charlotte, but since my eldest brother ran away from home, I started making people call me Charlie..."
"And why did you dress up as a boy?" Tina asked.
"It's not the first time I do it, and neither the other time it turned up as one of my best ideas..." Charlie answered. "I've always lived with my mother and my two brothers. I have no idea of who my father is, and I don't even know if he's also the father of my brothers, as we don't look like each other at all!"
"Excuse me, but what's your mother's job?" asked Artie.
"She never told me, but I think I might have an idea..." Charlie answered. "By the way, my eldest brother has always been considered some sort of God come down to earth, and I have never been important to anyone, but to my brothers..."
"What's that got to do with dressing up?" asked Mercedes.
"I thought that, if I had got dressed up as a boy, I would have looked cooler..." Charlie answered. "My eldest brother had always been popular at his school, and he keeps being so even now that he ran away from home and decided to travel around the world with a girl I never tolerated!"
"I don't know if you got that, but you would have been accepted here, even if you had stayed yourself!" Mercedes went on. "Perhaps you've been in too many schools where the first impression is the one that matters..."
"Yeah..." Charlie confirmed. "What do I do now? How can I tell everyone? And... Kurt?"
"You could try singing..." Artie suggested.

Hi readers!
I just wanted to let you know that the pronoun game with Charlie is almost over! I hope I haven't been confusing you too much... Next chapter will be the final chapter of the first part of the story (but there will be two more parts, so don't worry).
Secondly, I wanted you to notice the song lyrics that appear in this chapter: they are from a song/poem I wrote a few years ago, called "Another Number In My List", in which I basically enlisted all the guys I had a crush on. It was one of my first songs/poems, so it wasn't particularly serious or elaborate... I hope you liked it anyway!
Also, if you like this story, feel free to leave a comment, or send me a message! I would really appreciate that! :)