Disclaimer: I don't own Primeval, its characters, or the lyrics I've used, they are the property of whoever has the rights to ABBA's songs.

Chapter Summary: Becker's had a strange week and it only gets worse when he learns Jess is leaving the ARC.

Chapter Length: 2224

Open Mic Nights

Chapter 26 – Realisation

The ARC was almost deserted. Most people had gone home by now, leaving only the skeleton crew that would cover the night shift. It was peaceful, and peace was something Becker dearly needed.

He was in the ARC's shooting range—which didn't get a lot of use since the introduction of the EMDs—trying to work through the strange week he'd had. The feel of the cold metal in his hands combined with the practice of shooting the gun—which had become second nature to him—helped clear his mind, and allowed him to think.

Now, when Becker said it had been a strange week, he meant it had been a really strange week, and that was saying something considering the work he did.

Frist Brittney—one of the lab technicians—had practically jumped him in his office on Monday. She had brought him some files that had needed his signature and then lingered after they were signed, trying to engage him in conversation. Becker had politely answered each question she asked, while trying to make it clear that he wasn't interested in talking. He wasn't doing a very good job of this however, as it didn't look like Brittney was going anywhere any time soon. So Becker decided that he would be the one to leave. Getting up he made the excuse that he had a training session and went to move past her, which turned out to be a very bad idea. As he got close to her, she pulled him to her and kissed him. It was one of the strangest things to happen to him and he had no idea how to react. He stood there as she kissed him, body rigid, as he tried to work out the proper way to defuse the situation. He wasn't sure if he had given Brittney a reason to think he was interested, but he wanted to tread carefully in case he had, so he didn't hurt her feelings.

Thankfully, the kiss didn't last long, as a few moments later one of his soldiers came looking for him. It turned out he did have a training session to get to, he had just forgotten about it, something he had been doing a lot of lately. He detangled himself from Brittney and followed his second in command out of the room.

As they made their way down to the sparing room attached to the gym, Williams took it upon himself to tell Becker that he was glad to see the Captain moving on from Miss Parker. Telling him he had been different ever since their relationship ended, sadder, and he hoped this new relationship brought him back to them.

Becker hadn't said anything, letting Williams think what he wanted to. The truth was, he was nowhere near close to getting over Jess. He regrated ending their relationship more and more every day; and Brittney kissing him had only made him miss the bright Field Coordinator more than he had been to begin with.

Then, to make that day even stranger, there had been the incident with Connor.

Becker's mind had still been occupied with thoughts of Jess and whether it was too late to try and win her back, when the scientist had stormed angrily into the armoury. It was so rare for Connor to get angry that the sound of fury in his voice as he called Becker's name had thrown him off, giving Connor the opening he needed to take a swing at him, which only served to shock him even more.

He still didn't know what he had done to make the man so angry.

Finally, to top off his bizarre week, he had been receiving odd looks from Abby and Emily ever since Tuesday. Whenever they were in the same room he would catch the two woman looking at him with sadness and pity in their eyes. They were looking at him as if he were dying from some horrible disease, only he didn't know about it.

He was about to load another round of bullets into his gun when—out of the corner of his eye—he noticed Matt standing in the doorway. It was then he realised it was Friday and that his weird week was finally coming to an end. It also meant it was the night the team went out for drinks.

"I don't feel like going out." He told Matt.

"I figured as much. But I thought you might want to come tonight since it's more of a going away party. Most of the ARC will be there, I think even Lester's coming."

Becker frowned, this was the first he was hearing about anyone leaving the ARC.

You'd think as Head of Security they'd keep me informed on who does and doesn't work her.

"Who's leaving?"

"You mean you don't know?"

"Would I be asking if I did?"

"Aw mate, I thought you knew." Matt looked like he was dreading giving Becker the answer to his question. "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I guess it's better you hear it from me than someone else. It's Jess, she's leaving the ARC, possibly even leaving the city. Today was her last day, technically she's still got next week but she'll be away at meetings with Lester and the Minister all week, so today's the last day we'll see her."

Becker felt like the ground had just been ripped out from underneath him, like his entire world was falling apart. The only thing that had got him through the last few weeks had been seeing her every day at work. Sure, they hadn't talked since the breakup, but just seeing her had made his day brighter and made him feel like he could cope with whatever that day had instore for him.

Ever since they had split up he had been slowly slipping back into that dark place he had been in when they met, and he didn't know what he would do if he never got to see her again. Just seeing her most days was enough to push some of the darkness back.

It was in that moment that Becker realised how truly big of a mistake he made braking up with her. The truth was he didn't just want her in his life, he needed her in it. She was his brightness, the love of his life, the person that made him whole. How could he live if he didn't have her by his side?

He had to try and get her to stay.

"Where's the party happening?" He asked Matt, surprised that his voice came out calm when he was panicking on the inside.

"The pub we usually go to."

As soon as Matt had spoken Becker was gone, racing to his car. He had to convince Jess stay at the ARC, to stay with him. He didn't know what he would do if she didn't.

The drive to the pub passed in a blur. The only thought on Becker's mind was getting there and talking to Jess before it was too late.

Arriving, Becker finds Jess partaking in the open mic night like she did every Friday, and all he can do is stand there and listen as she sings. As he listened to her he was reminded of what Abby told him months ago, that Jess always chose a song that reviled something of what she was feeling, and though Jess always insisted that this wasn't the case, Becker knew her well enough to realise that it often was.

I was in your arms,

Thinking I belonged there.

I figured it made sense,

Building me a fence.

Building me a home,

Thinking I'd be strong there.

But I was a fool,

Playing by the rules.

He was certain her song choice had been influenced by the relationship they had shared and he couldn't help but wonder if he was the reason she was leaving. Had he chased her away not only from him, but from the job and friends she loved as well?

But tell me dose she kiss,

Like I used to kiss you?

Does is feel the same,

When she calls your name?

Somewhere deep inside,

You must know I miss you.

But what can I say?

Rules must be obeyed.

He knew this was her way of moving on. Even though she hadn't known he would be there, she was using this song to tell him—and everyone else—that she still loved him, but she was moving on. Becker couldn't let that happen.

He had known she wouldn't wait around forever; she had told him so when they broke up. He hadn't wanted her to wait for him, he knew he may never be able to break past the fear that had made him end things. But he had hoped she would wait, he knew that was selfish, but she was still the woman he loved and the thought of her with anyone else was unbearable.

Now, here he was, not entirely past his fears—he may never be—but wanting more than anything to make a relationship work, and it was looking like he was too late. He knew it was his own fault, which only made the whole thing worse. He was ready to cut his losses, go home, and prepare for a life without his only love, however long that may be.

No! You came here to fight for her and that's exactly what you're going to do. It's not too late, it can't be.

Noticing Abby and Connor in the crowed he pushed his way towards them.

"Why didn't you tell me about Jess?" He demanded as soon as he got to them. "Didn't you think I deserved to know?"

"Deserved to know what?" Abby asked warily, sharing a look with Connor.

"That she's leaving the ARC."

"Why do you care if she leaves the ARC?"

"Let me help you out here mate." Connor said before he could answer. "If your answer is because you're the head of security and it's your job to know, or any other equally bullshit reason, you're going to end up being interrogated by Abs. So just go with the truth and save us all some time."

"He's right, I will pick at you until I get the truth. Just think about this; if you're here to try and get her back, after everything you've put her through, you need to be a different man. Someone who's going to stick by her through thick and thin. She deserves that, and if you can't even talk to us, the only two people who could even have a hope at understanding everything you've been through, how can you be sure you're ready to be what she deserves?"

Becker sighed. He knew they were right. Jess deserved someone who wasn't going to run from her whenever he got scared of how much she meant to him. The question was; was Becker ready to be that man?

If you want her in your life, you're going to have to be ready. You have to be that man, or you'll lose her for good.

"Now, why do you care if she leaves the ARC?" Abby's voice cut through his thoughts.

"Because she can't leave the ARC"

"Why can't she leave?" Asked Connor, he could see they were getting somewhere with Becker but he was going to require some prompting.

"Because I don't want her too."

"Because…?"

"Because I love her more than I've ever loved anyone before, more than I ever will love anyone ever again. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I broke up with her, and I wish it hadn't taken me this long to figure it out."

Abby and Connor looked at him, both of them smiling widely.

"Now, please help me get her back."

"That may be hard, she saw you with whatever tramp you were using to try and get over her."

"What?"

"The woman you were making out with in your office on Monday? Jess saw you."

Becker groaned, that was the worst thing that could have happened. He explained the situation to Connor and Abby. Telling them that he wasn't making out with her, that she had kissed him. He watched Abby and Connor grow embarrassed as he told them what had happened.

"Don't tell me you actually believed I could have moved on from Jess that quickly?"

Neither of them responded, they just stared at the ground.

"And I'm guessing that's why you came storming in to the armoury and punched me?"

"Yeah, sorry about that mate. I may have overreacted."

"We still have a problem because Jess doesn't know the truth. It's going to take a big gesture on your part to even get her to listen to you." Abby said cutting in.

"I may have an idea." Connor said smirking.

Becker listened as Connor explained his plan and why he thought it would work. But the further he got into his explanation the more nervous Becker became. He knew his friends were right, it would take something big to get Jess to talk to him, but he had a feeling he would need a couple of drinks before he could go through with the plan.