Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura belongs to the wonderful CLAMP, not me.

Sensei, I Love You

Chapter 11

"Time's up! All of you, pens down," the teacher announced, her voice booming in the silent classroom. Papers rustled as students tried to cramp in a few more words hastily. "I said no more writing!" Several students groaned but all of them complied nevertheless.

Sakura let her heavy head drop onto the table as she waited for the teacher to account for all the papers. Her hand felt numb after hours of frantic scribbling. She felt as if she had written more words during the examinations than she had for her homework. That was partially true since she really skipped a significant number of classes. It was still a miracle to her that the school didn't suspend her or even to withdraw her from school.

Despite having gone through a cruel test of Calculus, afternoon classes still had to continue. At least it was lunch time so she could rest a little before the next boring class started. Sakura didn't even bother to wait for the teacher to announce that they could leave for lunch before dozing off at her table. A sharp rap on her table caused her to jerk away.

"Li-sensei!" Sakura exclaimed, looking up at him with wide eyes. She took a look around and found that several classmates who were still around, were shooting weird glances at them. "Um… Is anything wrong?"

It was unnerving for her to be under the scrutiny of Syaoran, especially in full view of her classmates. "I need to talk to you about your grades," he said. Sakura's heart dropped in understanding—she must have gotten bad results to render a visit to the teachers' office after school hours. He was still standing there after delivering his ultimate blow to her mind. "Teachers' office. After school."

"Yes, Li-sensei," Sakura all but groaned and let her head bang onto the table in defeat, much to Syaoran's amusement. She felt him gave a little pat on the top of her head before his footsteps receded. The class resumed its normal lunchtime activity as though there wasn't any interrupted from teachers. She felt restless out of a sudden, probably due to knowing about her results, and she leaned back to stretch herself only to bang into an object on her table. She grasped the box before it slid off her table completely. "What?"

It was a familiar looking lunchbox but Sakura wondered how it got there. Syaoran must have left it on her table secretly because no one was paying any attention to it. That was lucky! Besides, she could use some food to fill her stomach and to make her forget about the little appointment she had with Syaoran after school.

Sakura knocked on the door before she slid it. She had purposely delayed coming to the teachers' office as she did not want many people to witness the two of them talk. He didn't seem to hear her enter the office as he continued grading some papers. Sakura stood by the door for a few moments to stare at him. If he was busy, why did he ask her to meet him in school when he could have talked to her at his own time at home?

Syaoran suddenly whirled around in his seat to face her, as if feeling that someone was staring at him. His face brightened up when he saw her. "You're finally here!" he exclaimed before pulling out the chair at the next table. "Come, sit here."

"Why?"

"Why what? I'm just asking you to sit here while I grade these papers before we call it a day at school."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "So you called me here to watch you while you mark some freaking papers?"

Syaoran pondered for a moment before grinning at her. "That's in a nutshell."

"You are wasting my time," Sakura muttered and stomped forward anyway. There wasn't much things she could do out of school. Besides, she didn't have the key to Syaoran's house and that made it impossible for her to return home. There was no way that she was going to loiter outside Syaoran's house as if she was some crazy stalker. She wouldn't want to risk being noticed or recognized by somebody else.

"Aw, come on! Just have some pity on me and keep me company for a while," Syaoran pouted. "See? There's no one around anymore. I can't believe all the teachers left this early."

"Well, the students leave on time too and you can't blame the teachers for leaving early. You are the only teacher who would stay back a little to clear work," Sakura remarked. "Other teachers won't care that much."

"They don't?" Syaoran asked, a little surprised. "How did you know?"

Sakura shrugged. "Trust me. You wouldn't want to know."

"Now you have piqued my curiosity."

"Your answer lies in the pachinko shop and the café which I used to work in."

Syaoran sucked in a breath. "Seriously? I can understand the café but pachinko? I can think of better ways to spend my time and money."

"Like stalking your favourite student?" Sakura suggested mischievously, wriggling her eyebrows at him.

He guffawed in response. "Seriously? I think stalking is an extremely strong word. You should use concerned."

Sakura snorted as she leaned back against the back of the chair, shaking her head as she did so. "I wonder about that. I still couldn't understand why you would want to take me into your house."

"Hey, don't make it sound like I'm some kind of bad guy going after little girl. I'm being a good teacher here by showing my care and concern for my kids."

"What? Are you that old? We aren't even related."

Syaoran paused his grading to glance at her. "You think I should just let you sleep on the streets and get robbed or even…"

"Sometimes… I think I'm actually not worth every attention," she admitted quietly. It was so soft that Syaoran had to strain to hear. "Well… That's what I think." She gave him a shaky smile before she gulped in a huge breath to steady herself.

Turning to her, he reached out for her hands and clasped them in his bigger and warmer ones. "What made you say so, muffin?"

She did not even retort to his use of endearment. "I don't know," she answered and sighed aloud. "It's like I'm totally alone and lost in this big world and… I don't deserve all these."

"Of course you deserve better," Syaoran interrupted. "You are still young and although things may seem bleak at the moment, it's definitely going to pick up at some point in your life."

She shook her head gravely and her mouth trembled. This was the first time she had come close to bearing her innermost thoughts to someone else. "You don't understand," she gasped out. "You don't understand at all." She pulled her hands away from Syaoran and buried her face in them.

"Then make me," he said and felt Sakura's shoulders tensed up. "Tell me. Make me understand."

Sakura shook her head, still pressing her hands to her face as if she was ashamed to let him see her. "I don't deserve this," she repeated. "I caused their deaths and yet I'm still alive."

In a blink of an eye, or perhaps even faster than that, Sakura was in Syaoran's arms. He had pulled her from her seat to hug and comfort her. It was an awkward position since she was half sitting and half sprawled on Syaoran's lap. "Don't say that!" he hissed and sounded anguished. "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself. It is a miracle that you are still alive!"

"No!" Sakura protested violently as she struggled in his embrace. "I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve anything at all!"

Syaoran pressed her head harder into his chest, trying to absorb all her helplessness into him and gave her strength in exchange. "Think about your family!" he urged. "Think of what they want you to do if they are still alive. Think! Think of what they would feel when they see that you are wasting your own life away. And don't you ever dare to let them down!"

Tears began flowing freely down her cheeks. Tears which she thought had already dried up from months and months of crying after the fateful crash. Feelings she thought she was already numb to begin to thaw as she sank into Syaoran's embrace and let him comfort her. This was different from when she lost her family photograph—her tears were unstoppable.

Sakura felt his arms tightened around her small body as she sobbed even harder. She cried for her family, for her miserable life and for her unknown future. If only time could turn back for her… She would have thought of some ways for them to avoid the collision altogether.

"Yes, let it all out and you'll feel much better," Syaoran cooed and that only caused her to cry even more. It took her a long time to calm down and she suddenly felt embarrassed and shy about her sudden emotional outburst. She was glad that all the teachers and students had already gone back home. She was glad that Syaoran was the sole witness to her shameful tears. "Feel better now?" he asked, grabbing some tissues for her.

She blew her nose hard on the tissues before replying him. "Yes, I feel better now. Thank you," she said, her voice hoarse from all the crying. "And um… I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time when you have so many things to do."

Syaoran gave her a warm smile that took her breath away. She shouldn't be feeling such a thing for her homeroom teacher, right? "Anything for my muffin."

She scowled at him immediately. "I'm not your muffin. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Aha! Now I know you are back to normal," he chuckled as he turned back to his papers. "Just a few more before we can go."

"Home?"

"There's some place where I want to bring you to before we go back," he said. "And no asking where!"

"Spoilsport."

Sakura wished she could dig a big hole in the ground and just hide inside. It was all thanks to Syaoran, who had brought her to this café. Of all the café in the whole of Japan, he had to bring her to this cosplay café which she worked at over the weekends. Her face burned from embarrassment as her colleagues gossiped about her in broad daylight in clear view of Syaoran and her.

"So… This is how the café looks like," Syaoran commented, taking in the surrounding and smiling at the waitresses who happened to look his way. Sakura wished she could cover his eyes so that he wouldn't be able to see her lady colleagues, most of them were a little older than her and definitely much prettier and curvier than her. "Not bad. Personally, I think I like the uniforms the best. Hey, introduce me to that nurse! And that samurai with the heart-shaped eye-patch! Oh my! They are so cute!"

It took Sakura all her restrains not to fling the heavy menu at her homeroom teacher who couldn't stop ogling at her colleagues. "I'm leaving if you are not ordering."

"Wh-what? You're not leaving!" Syaoran exclaimed, pulling his eyes away from the waitresses and flipping through the menu immediately. Sakura gritted her teeth when she heard them giggle. She shot them a heated glare but that only made them giggle even more. She had to roll her eyes and pray hard for patience. "So… What's nice here?"

"The burgers here are nice and so are their curry items," she said coldly, trying to sound professional. After all, she was part of the staff there. "And you should totally try their wide range of soda drinks. They are quite impressive."

"That's quite a recommendation!" Syaoran praised and his eyes twinkled. Was he teasing her? Before she had the time to figure out, Yui stood by their table and looked at them expectantly. "I'll take the curry rice and an apple soda."

"Um… Omelette rice with cherry soda. Thanks Yui," she said, smiling up at her colleague who winked at her before sashaying to the kitchen with their order chit. Sakura could feel the force of her colleagues' gazes as she dined with Syaoran, whom they knew as the mystery bike rider. Somehow, they knew she had limited social life and it was easy for them to guess his identity. "They totally knew that you are the biker," she commented uncomfortably in between mouthful of food.

"I don't mind," he said easily. "They are bound to find out anyway."

"That's not good!" Sakura sputtered. "They can't find out."

"But you said they already did," Syaoran countered, looking up at Sakura. He grinned suddenly and Sakura was caught off guard. "You have something here," he said and pointed to the corner of his mouth. Embarrassed, she quickly wiped her mouth with a napkin but Syaoran still shook his head. "Here, let me." Sakura watched as Syaoran leaned across the table. With a finger under her chin, he tilted her face up towards him as he swooped in and licked the gravy from the other corner of her mouth. A chorus of swoony "awww" rang in the café as Sakura hurriedly shoved him away from her.

"What are you doing?"

"Delicious!" he announced as he sank back into his chair with a smirk.

"You are impossible!"

"And you, my dearest muffin, are lovely," he said and added a wink for good measure.

To be continued

The first few days of the month is always the busiest for me due to the nature of my work. So for the past few days, I've been working late into the night and was super tired by the time I got home. :( I'm just hoping things will get better soon!

Anyway, I have the feeling that Sakura's sudden outburst was a little weird. What do you think?