Chapter 13

Demi's POV

3pm now, and I am on my way in a cab, hiding myself from being noticed as much as I can.

I'm heading into New York of course, to meet up with Nick.

I am sooo happy that we're together again, just like we were before.

I'm really glad nothing has changed, and he's the same old Nicholas Jonas. It makes me feel safe, and made me realise how much I missed him. It's a relief to feel that it's not awkward between us, like I thought it was going to be.

Instead, it's the complete opposite... and well, I'm falling in love with him.

And I am so freaking scared of falling. Catch Me is literally the song of my life now. All this time, I didn't realise that I wrote that about Nick. I've been so stupid to not realise that I've been crazy about him for a long time, and that I dated Joe because Nick was dating Selena.

But looking back at it now, what if Nick was dating Selena because I was dating Cody? I mean, I wasn't properly... but when I was with Cody for a little bit, Nick suddenly started dating Selena not long after he broke up with Miley. Then he was with Selena for a while, and then I started I dating Joe. But after a while, Nick didn't want to be with Selena anymore... and he came running to me after my breakup with Joe.

I did really like Joe more than a friend, but looking at it now I never loved him the way I love Nick. What me and Nick have is special, so special that no one could ever get in the way of it. The only thing that nearly managed to was my bipolar disorder, and even though I'm not rid of it, it's certainly not stopping us from taking things slow now.

I can't imagine being away from Nick, it doesn't feel right nor does it make me feel that I'd make progress with getting better. It makes me feel low, and lonely.

Not to say that I hadn't been making progress, but I don't think I would have made anymore progress if Nick wasn't around.

Nick has been the missing piece of my puzzle, and I had no idea.

I had to figure it all out myself, and it wasn't easy.

It was so difficult for a while, thinking that being away from him would make things better. But that's one thing the doctors and nurses didn't know about my issues, they didn't know how close I was with Nick, and how losing him would be worse than not losing him.

I would rather he was there, because he's helped me. Joe, Kevin and Nick's dad are the ones that I will struggle to be able to be around. They didn't help me, unlike Nick who went against them for me. I didn't tell him to do that though, he chose to do that.

And even though I think it was mad at the time, at the same time he was the only who understood how ill I really was. I told Nick everything, more than I told anything to Joe.

In fact looking back at it, I kept loads of things from Joe.

Only did he realise how sick I was when I turned myself into the treatment center. But even that doesn't explain everything. He doesn't know the depth of my eating disorder, bullying and cutting. Sure, he might have seen about it on the news maybe, but he doesn't know like Nick does. But to be honest, Nick doesn't know every little bit of depth, no one does. Well, the only people that do are the ones who have gone through a similar thing. Nick hasn't, but he knows what I've been through, even though he doesn't know how it feels.

But in a way that's okay, because he can make me forget the past sometimes, he can make me live in the moment for a little while, and make me the happiest girl alive.

And that's better than anything in the whole world, maybe even universe.

He being there is what I need, because I can't push everyone away, otherwise I'll be stuck on my own with no one to help me get back up.

The only bad thing about having Nick around is the risk of being hurt, but I can't be negative about it. I've got to look at my glass half full, not half empty. Nick hasn't hurt me properly before, when I left to go to treatment, I hurt him and myself.

But I'm not ever doing that again. I'm going to make sure he never gets hurt.

If I hurt him again, I'll never forgive myself. And even though hurting myself is bad and I will struggle again, it won't feel anything if I've already Nick. Hurting Nick is like a knife scraping my heart. The blood would pour, just like my tears. I couldn't deal with that.

I guess this whole idea has gone through my head because of my depression. I need to stop thinking like that and just think about how amazing it's going to feel when I see Nick again, even though I saw him last night. But that felt like a dream, my heart fluttering like crazy when he kissed me. My god he didn't know what he did to me when he did that. That kiss nearly gave me a heart attack, not even joking.

I know that perhaps him being closer than a friend might not be the best thing for me right now, but it definitely makes me feel good. I can't keep myself away from him when he's around, seeing him again made me realise how much I missed his hugs, his smell, and his touch. He looked after me not just as a best friend, but almost like... a lover.

I might be crossing out the idea of having a relationship right now, but technically me and Nick aren't dating. And when I say a relationship, I mean with anyone else. Nick's the reason I'm not going to date anyone because I simply can't when he's the guy that makes me weak at the knees. Especially when he's shirtless. My god, I didn't know anyone could be so attractive.

I'm not going to lie, whenever I see him like that... I want to do things! Things that I would be ashamed of. But he could NEVER know that. Well, I can't keep these feelings hidden forever, but for now... I can't let him know that. That is far too awkward.

Anyway, so I'm nearly at Starbucks. I could see the one I'm heading to now, metres away. I felt the butterflies in my stomach of seeing him again.

The cab stops and the man says to me the ride is free of charge. But I smile at him and shake my head, giving him 40 dollars. I say goodbye politely, happy to make his day.

As I step out, I make sure my sunglasses are planted on my face, so that I'm not as noticeable. I step through the doors of Starbucks to find Nick at the back of the cafe... with my sister.

Oh great.

What is she doing here?

But I get distracted from that when I find Nick beaming at me, his arms out offering me a hug. I can't help but smile at him, rushing into him. As usual, the hug feels so special. I take in his essence of what could only be described as cinnamon and fabric softener from his clothes. God he smelled so good, especially when he had the extra spice of cologne, which must be the cinnamon added on with a bit of jasmine wood maybe? Who cares, I couldn't stop taking it in.

Sometimes, Nick really feels like an addictive drug.

I think he knows I'm keeping hold of him, so he's not stopping the hug.

It's like we're in tune with each other all the time.

Sometimes I wonder if he can actually read what I'm thinking.

Oh god I hope not!

I then start to let go as he does.
I would have kept hugging him if my sister wasn't here.

I still am puzzled why she is.

I didn't want to talk to her right now... she was bugging me earlier.

I mean she's the reason sometimes I'm glad I can get out of the house.

As Nick goes to sit back down on his chair, I turn to my sister.

"What are you doing here?" I place my hands on my hips.

"I needed to talk to Nick... is that a crime?" She smirks at me.

"Dallas, go home."

"Why should I? Oh right yeah... you want some time alone with your boooyfriend."

She winks at me and giggles, walking out of Starbucks.

Ugh, damn her.

I was probably blushing like crazy.

Perhaps the makeup I'm wearing will hide my tomato of a face.

Nick looks at me seriously for a second, and then he starts sniggering, laughing his cute laugh.

I bite my lip and giggle a little.

Aw man... thank god he started laughing.

Otherwise that would have been super awkward.

"Sit down Dem." He still chuckles.

I still chuckle a little and sit down opposite Nick, where Dallas was sitting.

"Sisters eh? I guess she's like my brothers to you, right?"

I nod, "Yeah... she annoyed me earlier, so I wasn't so pleased she was here. What was she talking to you about anyway?"

Nick shrugs, "Not a lot really... she just wanted to know a few things. She came over to the hotel."

She did? What the hell for? What could she possibly want with Nick?

I frown, "Really? What did she want to know?"

"Err well... she just wanted to tell me how happy I'm making you and that I make sure it stays that way I guess."

I look at Nick suspiciously. He does seem like he's telling me the truth, but is he hiding something?

"Is that all she wanted?"

He nods, "Yeah. Nothing serious Dem, don't worry."

"Hmmm... okay."

I swear he's hiding more. Maybe I'm just imagining it? Nick wouldn't hide anything would he?

"Dem... seriously, it's fine. She just asked me a few questions about whether or not I really cared about you and err well... just other stuff."

I frown even more, "What stuff Nick?"

"Well... it's a bit embarrassing Dem." He nervously chuckles.

"Nick... what did she ask you?"

"It's nothing Demi... really."

"Nick if you don't tell me you will feel pain."

He looks at me and smirks, "Go ahead."

I smirk back at him, "Fine."

I get up from my seat and I jump on to him, even though there is people that were likely to be looking at us now.

"Aghh, Demi! Get off!" He starts laughing, but in a hasty breath as I'm on his stomach, since by jumping on him so hard he's now laying on the seat sideways.

"Tell me what she said Nick!"

He still laughs breathlessly, "I'll tell you if you get off me."

"Nope, I'm not falling for that. I'll just continue sitting on you."

I straighten myself up, sitting on Nick's legs.

"Demi I can't tell you because we're in a private place and people could hear us."

Damn. He does have a point. It's possible people in here know who we are as well.

I then hear people whispering around us, a teenage girl in the corner whispering to her friend. They probably know it's me. I think this might be the best time to leave.

"Okay okay I'll get off of you and we'll leave, okay?"

He nods and grins at me. I get off him, rolling my eyes. I straighten my jacket and hair, then proceed to walk out. Nick follows me, leaving a ten dollar on the table for his coffee, and what probably was a cake of some sort that he finished before I got here.

We both left Starbucks and decided to go back to Nick's hotel, where we could spend some time together and then I'd probably leave in a couple of hours.

*

Nick is now looking at me intensively.

I didn't know whether to feel overwhelmed by the way he's staring at me or feel relaxed that he's right in front of me, listening to everything I say and making me feel like the happiest girl in the world right at this very moment.

We are sitting in his hotel now, which I love doing, as it gives us time to relax and to be able to get our feelings out about anything without being noticed by anybody. Starbucks was fine, but I could feel the eyes on us.

We needed to sort out what we were going to do about the whole situation with telling everyone gradually about our reunion, and possibly when it comes to the time, that we are dating.

But to tell anyone that right now would be too much, and I know that Nick would more likely get it in the neck that me. Although I'm not sure how dad is going to feel about this. Eddie De La Garza is been protective of me always.
He doesn't mean to be of course; but you can hardly blame him considering the tough time I've had. But I reckon he already knows about us. He knows roughly how much Nick means to me. He was there when I was screaming in my sleep, shouting out Nick in the middle of night. I know, it sounds so unbelievably embarrassing when I mention it again, but it happened and it's always going to stick in my mind.

I knew from then on that obviously I can't live without Nick ever since he came into my life. He put up with my problems when no one else would. I just hope to god Dallas didn't tell him anything. And if she did, hopefully the least embarrassing parts.

I mean yeah, Nick does know in some ways how I feel about him... but I haven't told him enough how much he means to me and how crazy I am about him, and how I'm falling for him.

He'll know one day; I'm just far too scared for him to know.

I know that if I told him, he would be sincere, but what if he doesn't feel the same?

But he's kissed me... surely he feels something.

Urghhh this is what you do to me Nick! You confuse the hell out of me.

Yes you don't do intentionally, but you're still doing it somehow.

Unless I'm the one who is confusing?

Nick then breaks the silence and pulls me out of my thoughts, "Demi... are you okay with seeing me again?"

I frown, "What do you mean?"

"Well... I wasn't sure if you seeing my face again would make you relax."

"Oh Nick... you worry too much. Sure, I was nervous of seeing you again. I wasn't sure if you were going to be the same old Nick, but you haven't changed. Except you look different, you look older and more mature... and well, I would be lying if I told you weren't looking insanely good, because you really are. You were cute 2 years ago, now you're sexy as hell Jonas."

I wink at him, realising that those words came out of my mouth.

He was looking at me with astonishment, his eyes bulging out.

"...s-sexy?"

I grin, "Yeahhh... very."

Is this me talking?

Since when I was able to be all... flirty?

Haha oh right yeah always.

Just not as powerful as now.

He clears his throat, and looks right at me and says, "Maybe I look sexy Dem... but what about you? You're the sexiest woman alive."

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