Hi guys! Happy Friday! Again, your reviews are so kind and so valuable to me as a writer. Thank you for being such lovely beings.

I'm currently outlining the 2nd part of this story. So, if you would like to see something happen that you haven't yet, this is your chance to make suggestions. This story is as much yours as it is mine. And of course, credit will be given to the people whose ideas I use.

I still own nothing!

Will finishes taking Lucy's vitals then scrawls on her charts. "Her vitals are good and she's not running a fever. But we still want to keep her for a little while longer."

Jay nods, glances around the room, but doesn't see Erin. His mood takes a dive, tempered by heavy dose of dread. "Where's Erin?"

Will looks around and says, "She was just here."

A strange sense of foreboding seeps into his bones. "Did anyone see where she went?"

"She's probably just getting some air," Will says. "She hasn't left the room since you guys got here."

The pain in his chest makes it hard for him to talk. Jay takes a deep breath and steadies his voice. "I need to go find her. Will, can you stay with Lucy?"

"Yeah, sure."

Before Will can say anything else, Jay darts out of the room and into the hallway. For the next twenty minutes he searches every room and every corridor only to come up emptied handed. He wants to keep on looking because if he stops, he might sink into a heap of despair. But his efforts will be to no avail. Deep down he knows Erin is gone. Defeated, he returns to the room.

Will sees his brother's forlorn face and immediately asks, "What happened? Did you find Erin?"

Tears pricks his eyes, and his throat closes around the words he doesn't want to say, "She's, um, she's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?"

Jay wipes his eyes with the back of one hand and draws a shaky breath. "She blamed her herself for what happened and….I-I knew today was rough, but I didn't think she had it on her to just…leave."

"Jay, you might be overreacting. Maybe Erin just needed some air."

"No," Jay shakes his head. "This is different."

Devastated, Jay pulls out his phone and dials.

"Hank, we have a problem..."

…x…

3 days later

Jay sits at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee when he hears a knock on the door. He ignores it. It is way too early and he is way too tired to be coherent right now. He has not slept in the last three days. It is as if his mornings, afternoons, and nights have fused into a never-ending nightmare. He looks at his little girl and she is slumped over her high chair, passed out. The knocking persists and he begrudgingly gets up and shuffles his feet to the door. He doesn't even look in the peep hole – he knows who it is not on the other side.

He pulls the door open is met with Hank.

"Morning," Hank says.

"Morning," Jay grumbles. He walks back to the kitchen and Hank follows him.

Hank smiles sadly at the sight of Lucy slumped over her high chair and asks, "Rough night?"

"Rough couple of night," Jay says. "This is the longest she's been asleep. I don't want to move her."

Hank looks at Jay's disheveled appearance; unshaved, pale skin, dark circles under his eyes. He looks just tired and downtrodden.

"Here," Hank says placing a paper bag on the table. "I brought breakfast."

"Thanks," Jay says.

They settle on the kitchen table and Jay pours Hank a cup of coffee. After a moment, Hank asks, "How're you doing?"

Jay's tired eyes settle into a frown. "Not good. The only reason I'm still kicking is because of Lucy. Otherwise, I would have coped with this situation a little different," Jay says.

Hank sips his coffee and says, "How's Lucy doing?"

Jay looks at his tired little girl says, "She misses her mom. We haven't had a whole night of sleep since we came back from the hospital."

Hank's smile holds an odd, sad quality when he looks at the little tired heap that is Lucy. "Look Jay, I know you're upset—"

"I'm not upset." Jay interjects. "I'm just angry now. You know, it's one thing to run out on me. I can take it. It's another thing to do it to your kid." Chocking back the lump in his throat he adds, "My kid."

Hank hears Jay's voice crack as he struggles to regain control. "Jay, Erin is not in her right mind. She is scared. This world doesn't make sense to her."

"I know," Jay says. "And you know what? If she were to walk through that door right now I wouldn't even be mad that she left. It would be as if it never happened."

Hank nods and sips his coffee. He knows love lingers like that.

Jay clears his throat and asks, "Do we have any leads?"

"We think she might be crashing with Bunny in Hyde Park. We put a tap on Bunny's phone."

Jay shake his head. "Erin is smart. She's not going to let her guard down. She must know we're looking for her."

Hank nods. "Yes, but she is also vulnerable. When she slips up, we'll find her."

"Then what?" Jay stands up and runs a hand through his hair. "What do we do when we find her?"

Hank watches Jay anxiously pace around the kitchen.

"I can't make her wants us," he gestures between himself and Lucy. "I can't force her to come home."

"Look Jay, Erin thinks she did you a favor by leaving." Hank sips his coffee and adds, "She's hurting right now and I believe she might reach out to you before we find her."

Jay stops pacing and looks skeptically at Hank. "You really think that?"

"Yeah, I do."

Lucy begins to stir on her highchair and Jay shuffles over as she groggily lifts her head up, hovering in a place between sleep and awake. Slowly her lips curl, her eyes scrunch up and a low-pitched wail builds to a cry.

"C'mere, babe," Jay says and pulls her up, brushing off a few cheerios stuck to her cheeks and hands. Lucy whimpers and drops her head onto his shoulder with a dramatic slump. "It's okay, Luce. I got you." Jay rubs a hand down her back, soothing her tears away. Jay knows the world isn't full of happy endings; his job has taught him that long ago. Only he wishes his little girl didn't have to learn this so soon.

"Hey Luce, look who came to see you?" Jay says turning so she could see Hank.

It takes a minute, but Lucy fully opens her eyes and languidly says, "Paaapa"

Hank gets up from the chair and walks over to where Jay is standing. "Hey there kiddo," he says, tousling Lucy's hair. "Papa brought you something." He reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a lollipop.

Lucy's blue eyes grow bigger and her head pops up from Jay's shoulder. "Lollie!" She exclaims.

"That's right."

Hank hands her the lollipop and she clutches it tightly to her chest.

"What do you say?" Jay asks.

"Tank you, Papa."

"Good girl." Jay kisses her cheek and smiles thankfully at Hank,

Hank pats Jay on his back and says, "Thanks for the coffee. I'll see you at the precinct."

"I just have to drop her at Gail's and I should be there no later than nine."

Hank shows himself out and Jay gets busy with readying himself and Lucy for another day without Erin.

Jay drops Lucy off with Gail and the little girl falls apart. She clings to his neck and doesn't want to let go. He has to pry her off of him and force himself to walk out the door. Even while outside he can still hear her screaming and it tears him apart. Gail has watched over Lucy since she was a baby and this sudden bout of separation anxiety really worries him.

Jay finds no solace at work –things are just as chaotic as his personal life. His head is not where it needs to be and he is not surprised when Hank parks him behind a desk for the remainder of the day. Jay sinks into his chair, avoiding everyone's sympathetic looks, and buries himself in the mindless paperwork he'd let pile up.

When the day finally comes to a close, Jay is drained. Another day and no new leads on Erin. He just hopes Hank was right and that she'll come to him. He steps outside and the sun is setting– the sky deep violet, filtering down to orange and pink near the horizon. As he drives he keeps his eyes trained on the array of colors ahead, for a fraction of a second he can almost forget his current predicament.

He pulls into Gail's driveway and as soon as Lucy sees him walk through the door she runs as fast as her little legs can take her and leaps into this awaiting arms.

"Da-deeee!"

Jay's heart grows a little lighter at the sight of her smiling face. He squeezes her tightly and Lucy giggles. "I missed you, kid." Jay puckers his lips and Lucy is quick to give him a kiss. He sees Gail approaching and asks, "How did she do today?"

"The same," Gail says, sadly. "She cried on and off for you and Erin," Gail points it out.

Jay exhales deeply and looks at Lucy.

"When is Erin coming back from her trip?" Gail asks.

"Oh, um," Jay says. "Soon."

Gail runs a soothing hand over Lucy's back. The little girl tightens her grip around dad's neck. "She just misses Erin," she notes.

Jay nods. "Yeah. We both do."

Gail pats Jay's back and says, "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

They wave good-bye and when they are outside Jay asks, "You know, I was thinking we could go get some chicken nuggets for dinner, what do you think?"

Lucy's eyes widen and she says, "Yes, da-dy, nuggs!"

"Chicken nuggets it is," he says, kissing her cheek.

Jay drives away from town, avoiding their usual dinning places. He doesn't think he can deal with the 'where's Erin,' questions. So he finds a small diner, where the scent of French fries hangs in the air like potpourri, near his old neighborhood. Once inside, they are led to a booth and the waitress quickly arrives, jots down their order, then whirls away, bantering with costumers.

Lucy is standing next to Jay bouncing on the booth playing with the crayons. She's a bit rowdy, but Jay doesn't have the strength to fight her tonight. He is less resourceful and resilient today, than ever before. When the food comes, Jay pushes it around his plate. His stomach is in knots and he can barely think about eating. On the other hand, Lucy devours the chicken nuggets quicker than her little mouth can chew.

"One at a time, Luce," Jay says.

She babbles between mouths full and food goes everywhere. Jay tries to minimize the mess, but it's futile. He is trying to dab her mouth and hands clean with a napkin when he hears a voice say, "Detective Jay Halstead."

Jay turns and immediately feels an incredible burning rage ascend his spine as the man slowly comes into view.

"Charlie," Jay says dryly.

"I thought it was you," Charlie says with a sly grin. "And who do we have here?" He says motioning to a bubbly Lucy.

"You can go now," Jay says curtly.

But Charlie continues to gaze at Lucy. Then he gasps and shakes his head as if a light bulb just went off.

"You and Erin got busy," Charlie says. When Jay doesn't say anything, he waves to Lucy. "Hi there."

Lucy looks at the strange man and frowns, automatically moving closer to Jay.

"Eat the chicken nuggets, Luce," Jay tells her calmly. Lucy grabs a piece of chicken, but continues to stare curiously at Charlie.

"She is the spitting image of her mother," Charlie points out. "If she's anything like Erin, you're in trouble."

Jay smiles cynically and says, "You need to go. Now."

"It's a free country, detective." Charlie says. "Anyways, I'm sorry things didn't work out between you two."

"What?"

"I know she's staying with Annie. I saw her when I went to see my kid. But don't worry, you're secret is safe with me," Charlie says cunningly.

"Wait, what?" Jay says with a start. "Where did you see Erin?"

"At Annie's," Charlie says matter-of-factly, but then it dawns on him. With a sly smile he says, "Oh, you didn't know she was staying at Annie's."

Jay keeps a stoic face, despite his heart trying to rip out of his chest from beating so hard. He feels he is teetering over the edge, but then he feels a little hand touching his arm and he slowly regains control of himself.

"I wanna Juce?" Lucy says pointing at her sippy cup.

Jay reaches across the table and hands her the cup.

"Cute, cute kid," Charlie says.

Jay turn his attention back to Charlie, mustering enough composure to mask the surge of emotions rushing through his veins. "Do you need to be escorted out?"

"Hey," Charlie says backing away with his hands raised. "I was just saying hello."

Charlie disappears amidst the bustle in the diner, leaving Jay to gather his thoughts. He rakes a hand through his hair, thinking, thinking, and thinking. Jay's instinct tells him to just go find her, but he fears in doing so, he will only push her away further. These thoughts chase around in his head like an episode of Tom and Gerry. How did everything become so incredibly out of sorts? Finally, his tired muscles betrays him, and he sinks further onto his seat.

Lucy sees her dad slump down and instinctively climbs on his lap.

"Hi, da-dy," she says with a goofy grin.

"Hi Lucy," Jay says. Her mischievous smile – her mom's smile, warms him all the way to the bottom of his heart.

Lucy giggles and blows a raspberry on Jay's cheek. "Gotchu," she says, leaving a trail of drool behind.

Unfazed, Jay circles his arms around her, pulling her close. "You know Luce, if you ask me to pluck the moon from the sky for you tonight, I would," he says.

Lucy smiles and begins to babble, mostly unintelligibly. Jay listens – nodding, smiling, and at the same time thinking about what he should do. Should he go see Erin? Or should he let her come to him, like Hank said she would? He knows whatever he decides will affect his little girl directly. Any wrong move on his part and Lucy pays for it.

It doesn't take long for Lucy to drop her head to his shoulders and rub her eye.

"It's that time, huh?"

Jay asks for the check and when it comes he throws a few bills on the counter and steps into the chilly Chicago night. He secures Lucy in her car seat and drives. He doesn't really know where he is going. He just drives. The humdrum of the engine quickly puts Lucy to asleep and the only sound inside the car is her steady breathing. At some point, Jay finds himself in the outskirts of the city, near Annie's place. He takes a few turns and then finally stops across from her house.

The lights are on.

Perhaps he will just sit here for a moment. Knowing Erin is just across the street is good enough for now. He looks at Lucy through the rear-view mirror and sighs. Then, in a moment clouded by longing and exhaustion, he decides to knock on the door. He pulls Lucy out, drapes her over his shoulder, covers her in a blanket, and crosses the street. His stomach growls and his whole body feels like it will crumble in a heap of anxiety.

He walks up the steps and knocks.

Thanks for reading. Is it January yet? =) Cheers!