Sorry this took so long...was having issues figuring it out and had a fibromyaliga flare-up!
As Joanne and her two kids rode down the elevator, she cautioned them again about what they would be seeing when they visited Johnny.
"Also, we need to make sure to keep quiet so that we don't wake up anyone, alright?" she cautioned. "You can talk to him if you'd like, but the doctors have him on some pretty powerful medications which are keeping him asleep, so he might not realize you're there and he won't be able to respond. Since it's getting late, we won't be able to stay too long, maybe just ten minutes or so, okay?"
Nodding, the DeSoto kids glanced at one another. They had been on the ICU floor a couple of times before when their dad or Johnny had been hurt before, but from what it sounded like, this time was worse than all the others. When the elevator doors opened, Jenny grabbed her mom's hand, suddenly nervous and a bit scared. Chris too was feeling the same way, and although he wished he was young enough to hold his mom's hand, he felt like he needed to be more grown-up for Jenny's sake.
After all, I am older, he reasoned. I should set a good example for Jen so she doesn't get scared.
Roy heard a nurse greet his family and went out to meet them part way. Keeping silent, he hung back with Chris and rested his hand on his shoulder for support. When the family reached Johnny's room, they stopped briefly to take a deep breath.
"Are you two sure you want to see him like this?" Roy asked. "Remember, there are a lot of tubes and wires, as well as monitors around him."
"We're sure dad," Chris said with a bit of a tremor in his voice.
"What about you, Jenny?" Roy asked his youngest.
Shrugging, she answered in a small voice, "I'm kinda scared, but I think I'm more scared not to see him. Does that make sense?"
Squeezing her, Joanne told her, "It makes perfect sense honey. I know you need to see for yourself that he is at least doing fine."
"And he is doing better. The doctors think in another couple days, they'll be able to lower the medications that are making him sleep all the time."
Nodding, the kids began making their way into the room, closely followed by their parents. As soon as they saw him, both Jenny and Chris froze.
Wow! I didn't think anyone in real life could actually look like a human lab experiment. I thought that was only in cartoons or on TV shows, but I guess not, Chris concluded. Once he got over his initial shock of seeing Johnny hooked up to so many different machines and wrapped up in various bandages, his brain began racing. I know mom and dad said it looked bad, but I had no idea it was this bad. His head looks so swollen and man, his hair! What on earth did they do?
Jenny on the other hand was ready to cry and could only think, how is he supposed to deal with everything when he is covered in bruises? His face looks like someone used a bunch of different markers on it and it's all lumpy! My heart is hurting just looking at him…. How on earth are we going to be able to help him?
Slowly, Chris and Jenny made their way to the side of the bed with the least amount of wires. Unsure what to say or even if they could touch Johnny without hurting him, they looked to their parents with tears filling their eyes.
Joanne immediately came behind them as Roy went to their side.
"It's okay to hold his hand," Jo told them.
"Is he hurting?" Jenny asked, her voice shaky.
"No sweetheart," Roy assured her. "The doctors are making sure he gets a certain amount of medication every couple hours before it wears off so that he not only stays asleep, but also so that he won't feel the pain."
Nodding, Jenny gently gave Johnny's hand a squeeze.
"Hey, mom, dad, Chris and me, Jenny, are all here," she told him. "You just feel better soon, ok?"
Unsure what to say, Chris just patted Johnny's hand. Seeing how distressed the two were getting, Joanne signaled to Roy that they should leave.
"Johnny, we need to get going now, but we'll be back tomorrow," Roy told Johnny.
"Bye, Johnny," Joanne said as she leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead.
Ushering the kids out, the four of them gave Johnny once last glance before leaving the ICU unit. All the way down to the main floor and out to the car, everyone was silent. Even when everyone was in the car, no one spoke a word. Knowing that it wasn't natural for her two kids to be this silent and still, Jo decided that she had better investigate what was going on in their minds.
"Are you guys doing okay?" she asked, looking back at them via the review mirror.
Slowly, Chris shrugged his shoulders.
"I guess, I mean, I didn't know it was gonna be that bad, ya know?"
"Are you sure he isn't hurting? Cause it looks pretty bad," Jenny suspiciously asked.
"As much as anyone can be certain," Roy said sighing. "See, even though he is sleeping, there are ways the doctors can tell if someone is in pain. One way is if the heart rate is too fast and another way is if a person is breathing too fast or uneven. Sometimes, someone might have more than one of these things going on."
Pulling into their driveway, Roy parked the car and turned around to face the kids.
"If the doctors can't find a reason behind those things, than that would mean the person is likely in pain. When that happens, they can either increase how much pain medication they are giving someone or try a different pain medication. Thankfully, Johnny seems to be doing well with the medications that are being given to him."
"So, why are they making him sleep for a few days again?" Chris asked. "I mean, I thought you said that he was awake and that he was only going to be kept asleep for a bit after his surgery."
Sighing, Roy knew his kids probably had even more questions than this and since it was close to six at night, he figured that getting them inside the house would be a good idea.
"How about we talk about this while mom is heating up something someone dropped off while we were out, alright?"
Agreeing, the two kids quickly gathered their school things and waited for their parents to open the house.
"Put your school bags in your rooms!" Joanne called as she heard two distinct thuds coming from the living room as she made her way into the kitchen. "I don't want them cluttering up the living room."
"Yes, mom," came two groans before she could hear the running footsteps through the house.
Every single school day, I swear I have to tell them the same thing! she thought, exasperated. Just once, it'd be nice of them to remember on their own. Oh, well…maybe someday…
Once the kids had come back down and Joanne had started dinner in the oven, the family once again gathered in the living room to converse about Johnny, something that was becoming an all too familiar scene in the DeSoto's household it seemed.
For once however, these family meetings weren't met with grumbling or attempts to flee earlier as they typically were, Roy speculated. That alone tells me how important Johnny is to this family. I just hope that we are doing the right thing by everyone.
"So, since we have about 45 minutes before supper," Jo began. "What questions do you two have?"
As both kids started talking at once, Jo and Roy held up a hand to silence them.
"Alright, I guess that won't work," Roy mumbled and then spoke louder. "Your mom and I were going to go over a few things we had talked about with Doctor Druthers, and a few other things. If you two kids want to share what you talked about, you may, but you don't need to. You're your mom and I won't be discussing everything that went on with our sessions with you or even one another. The reason is just because it's sometimes easier to talk to a stranger about things that you can trust.
"Before we do that though, why don't I try and explain all the medical equipment Johnny was hooked up to. I know that had to be scary for you. It even bothers me." Seeing the looks of disbelief, he admitted, "It's a lot different seeing the equipment hooked up to a stranger verses someone you care about. No matter how many times I've seen Johnny in the hospital, it never seems to get easier."
Nodding their heads, Chris answered, "sounds okay."
Jenny just looked at her parents and shrugged, still worried and a bit upset over seeing her Uncle Johnny looking so…
Broken, that's how he looked. Like he was asleep and peaceful, yet his body knew it was broken, she thought.
"It'll be okay, sweetheart," Joanne tried to comfort her daughter at the sight of tears welling up in her eyes.
"How though? I mean, I heard from some of my friends that their parents don't think he'll ever be like he was again after all this," she asked with a hint of accusation in her tone.
Sighing, Joanne looked over at Roy. One of the downfalls of having the fire department as a second family meant that many of Chris' and Jenny's friends had parents who worked for the department as well. It just was easier that way for all of them, both parents and kids. For the parents, there was no real need to explain why a phone call came at the last minute asking for help with picking up a kid or a project. For the kids, they seemed to gravitate towards the children of other first responders since the kids understood the dangers the world held at a much earlier age than any child should. The support system involved in each of these worlds was wonderful, but at the same time, when it came to situations where an individual was injured, the potential for misinformation-or in this case-the worse possible scenario tended to come to light. No matter how much Jo wanted to protect her children, she knew that it was difficult at best, if not next to impossible.
Roy knew exactly what Joanne was thinking. If there was one thing he could have changed about his job, besides the potential for death or worse, it was the fact that his children grew up well before they should have. The only positive he could see that came from it was that the both of them were more responsible, level-headed individuals than was normal for their generation. Although they weren't angels by no means and could whine with the best of them when their way or wants weren't met, whenever a situation popped-up where Chris' and Jenny's help was needed, they would usually be more than willing to do so.
Granted, the help given is only given as long as the scheduled activities they have can be kept, Roy thought ruefully.
All in all however, the two kids he and Jo were raising seemed to be on the right track and surrounded themselves with friends both of them thought were good kids. The fact that they were often times kids from other firefighter families or first responder families wasn't something that could be helped it seemed. They were raised around that atmosphere and it was what they knew.
Taking over for his wife, Roy gripped Jenny's hand and one of Chris'. Taking a deep breath, he knew that he couldn't sugarcoat things for his kids and even though they had gone over most of these things already, it was clear both of them needed to hear the information again.
"You're right Jenny, neither your mom nor I, not even the doctors can promise that Johnny will ever be the same as he was before this accident," Roy stated, ignoring the surprised look in his two kid's eyes. "However, as of now, no one is if any long lasting damage was done. It is possible that Johnny may have problems for weeks, months, or the rest of his life. We just don't know. What I do know though, is that the doctors are going to do their best to try and reduce any effect from the head injury. Your mom and I would like to help as well. Right now, we just aren't sure what those effects may be and until we are, we can only guess at what type of support Johnny will need, as well as how long it might be needed.
"Some things are known, such as the fact he believes he is a lot younger than he is. Also, Dr. Early did some tests and there are some other things the doctors know to watch out for," sighing deeply, Roy glanced at Joanne. "The thing is, head injuries are hard to figure out and Johnny did suffer a small set back. His blood pressure got a bit too high, causing the swelling in his brain to increase again."
Noticing the confused glances, he expounded on that, "See, in Johnny's case, one of the issues is that the brain is swelling. That was caused by the bleeding at first. The medications Doctor Early had him on should have reduced any swelling that remained, but Johnny had gotten upset. When he got upset, that caused his blood pressure to rise. Since that happened, it started causing more pressure in the brain, which in turn caused the swelling to increase. Based on x-rays and some other tests, Doctor Early believed that if Johnny was sedated, or given medications to sleep, until the swelling was gone, that would either stop or reduce the swelling. Although the swelling didn't reduce right away, Johnny's blood pressure did go down once he was given a medication to sleep.
"The swelling isn't getting any worse and is in fact going down slowly. It's still not going down as fast as the doctor hoped, but everyone heals at different rates. Right now, the doctors will just continue to monitor the swelling. That will be done mainly through x-rays as the pictures can be compared to previous ones and Doctor Early can tell how much longer Johnny will need to stay on the medication. About once a week or so, Dr. Early will be using a new machine to help with monitoring Johnny's progress. It's called a CAT, or CT, scan. It's basically a machine that takes better pictures than an x-ray machine, but since it will take longer to get the picture developed, it's easier to use x-rays," Roy told them, figuring an easier explanation would be best as the CAT Scan concept still baffled him a bit.
"Are you guys following all this so far?" Joanne cut in.
"Yea, mom," Chris assured her.
"I think so," Jenny said, less sure.
"We can always explain things again or have someone else help us out if you don't understand anything," Jo told her. "I know I don't always get all this medical gobbly-junk. That's your father's field of expertise."
Giggle, Jenny smiled at her parents while Chris rolled his eyes at his mom's attempt at being funny. Reassured, Roy continued with the explanation of what all was going on with Johnny.
"I know that all those tubes hooked up to Johnny had to seem scary, but they are all meant to help him heal and also help the doctors or nurses monitor how well he is doing. The metal bolt that you saw attached to Johnny's head measures the pressure inside his skull. It's very important to make sure that the pressure doesn't get too high or more damage could be done to his brain," Roy disclosed to his children.
Pausing to see how his son and daughter were handling the information, Roy noticed that although they had grown a bit paler, they seemed to be doing fairly well.
In fact, it seems that they are bracing themselves for more bad news or new horrors. I honestly hope Jo and I were right when we decided to inform them of most everything going on, Roy sighed inwardly. I hate not being able to protect them. I hate that these circumstances are making them grow up just a bit faster than they should. But then again, I don't really think there is much of a choice here. Considering they are at the age where they are observant enough to know when we are dodging questions, the two of them would just start thinking the worst. Maybe this way is better.
Shaking himself mentally, Roy continued outlining all the medical equipment attached to his best friend and brother.
"The larger tube that is placed here," Roy said, using his hand to indicate the spot by his collarbone to demonstrate which one he was discussing. "That one is used so that Johnny can receive what is called 'total parental nutrition' or TPN for short. This is basically a liquid solution with all the basic nutritional values a person needs to survive, such as vitamins, sugar, fats, and anything else the body might need. With the fact it may be a few days before the doctors allow Johnny to come off the sedatives, this will make sure his body doesn't starve. The doctors are also thinking that they will keep him on this for a while even after he wakes up until they know he can consume enough calories on his own. Basically, if Johnny can't keep up with the demands for calories from his body, healing time will more than likely be slower and that isn't good.
"The IV in his arm is so that he won't get dehydrated. It also is there as it is a lot easier for the nurses to give Johnny the medication ordered by the doctors as they don't have to search for a vein each time. The one in his wrist on his other arm, that is so blood work can be taken as needed and again, the nurses won't need to keep searching for a vein," pausing again, Roy cleared his throat and looked at his children to see how well they were taking the information. "Is this making sense so far?"
After a brief moment of silence where Chris and Jenny looked at one another, they both responded, "I think so."
"It's kinda like the doctors have something in Uncle Johnny's head," Jenny began before Joanne gently reminded her to call him Johnny. "Johnny, sorry. But anyway, the thing in his head helps the doctors' figure out if his brain is in danger. Then he's getting food through a big IV in his chest."
Butting in, Chris finished up, "And then, the arm IV's are either for medications or so that blood can be taken, right?"
"Yep, you two got that right," Roy smiled a bit, proud of how quickly his kids picked things up.
I guess all those lessons in first aid really have come in handy, Jo thought, pride radiating through her as well.
"I know about the heart machine thing, but why do they have to watch his heart dad? Are they worried about that too?" Jenny asked, biting her lip.
"There is some concern, but that is typical after an injury like Johnny received and with the medications he is on. It is more of a 'just in case' type of deal and also, anyone in the ICU is hooked up to a heart monitor. However," cautioned Roy. "Although the risk of Johnny's heart being harmed from the medications or something else going wrong seems to be low, medicine is never an exact science, so it is better to be careful."
"Kinda like prepare for the worst, hope for the best?" Chris asked, having heard that phrase from his dad and mom before.
"Exactly," Joanne said as she looked at her husband. Seeing his nod, she asked, "Do you guys have any more questions."
"I dunno," Chris shrugged.
"Me either. Cause it sounds like we got to wait and see what happens before we know how to help him," Jenny said.
"Unfortunately, that's right, but there are some things we can do and are doing," Jo reminded her two kids. "We can keep seeing Dr. Druthers, figure out how we feel about things, see if we are up for the challenges that might be ahead, things like that. And speaking of that, one of the things Doctor Druthers and I were talking about was that if it was in the best interest of our family and we could take Johnny home, it would be best if we had a schedule placed on the fridge. That way, Johnny would know what is taking place when and by having a detailed outline of the day, it would help him out. Also, he would be treated just as you two kids were treated at age seven for the most part. Johnny would be required to do some chores, although at first, it may not be much and we would likely have to be more lenient until he recovers more."
"Mom and I might need you both to help pick up some of the slack around here until things are figured out and Johnny is used to being around us more. It will probably be hard for him to trust us at first and until he gets used to a new place as well as people, we don't want to crowd him with too many new people until we feel he can handle it.
"We promise though that even if we cannot always pick you up or drop you off at one of your activities, we will find someone who is willing to do so. We don't want you to stop anything that is planned as I know you need to get out and have fun with your friends. Also, no matter what," Roy looked at one and then the other straight in the eyes. "I and your mom want you to know that we love you so very much. Your happiness will always be a top priority for us.
"Speaking of that, I do want you two to seriously think about maybe taking Uncle Mike and Uncle Hank on their offer of doing activities with them. It won't be the same as the time you spent with Uncle Johnny, but your dad and I feel that it is important that you do that. We know that there are times when you can't always talk to us or need someone to help talk to us, especially when we go a bit nuts," Jo smiled at them as the two of them smirked and rolled their eyes. "I really would like you to try if you think you could. Just think about it for now and maybe talk it over with Dr. Druthers."
Nodding, Jenny and Chris both shifted uncomfortably.
"Did you find talking with him strange?" Roy asked, trying to keep a smile off his face.
Both kids shrugged, not knowing what to say.
"It's okay, I'm not always good with talking with shrinks either," Roy confessed. "It gets easier and trust me when I say, that although some of them should switch careers, Dr. Druthers seems to be good at his job. He was able to help me figure out a lot of things and even though I may not have always liked his advice, rationally, I know it is good advice."
"What'd he ask you to do dad?" Chris asked.
"Well," Roy sighed heavily. "Since no one knows how long this situation with Johnny will last, he said it was fine to grieve the loss of who my friend was as I may not get him back. By letting go of who he was, it will help me move on and help Johnny as he is now. It's going to be difficult though."
Reaching up, Jenny buried herself in her dad's arm. Chris hesitated and then did the same, while Joanne just put her arms around her family.
Well, most of them, she thought as the four of them tried to hold back tears. One of them is missing and without him, I'm not sure how our family could handle it.
Soon, the timer on the oven goes off and slowly, the four DeSoto's break apart, whipping their eyes.
"Alright, everyone," Jo says with a tremor in her voice. "Kids, wash up and then please help set the table. Roy, if you could get the drinks out?"
As they ate their late supper, the kids began filling their parents in on what went on in their sessions.
"I actually told Dr. Druthers after a bit about an idea Chris and I came up with to explain to Uncle…I mean Johnny, why he is without family," Jenny said shyly after telling her parents about how the psychologist wanted to know what activities she liked.
"Oh? What did you guys come up with?" Jo asked.
Quickly explaining the idea that Johnny's aunt was too sick to take care of him and trusted their family to raise him, Roy and Joanne looked impressed.
"So, is this what I heard you two talking about last night?" Roy accused with a smile on his face.
"Yea," Chris admitted. "Also, we practiced saying Johnny instead of Uncle Johnny for like an hour. But man! It's hard."
"Well, you've been calling him Uncle Johnny for most of your life Chris and Jenny has for all her life," Jo said practically. "It will take a bit to get used to, but for what it's worth, I think you are doing well."
"Dr. Druthers also told me about the fact the Johnny was raised on a reservation and might not know about stuff we do," Chris informed his parents.
"Yea, how are we supposed to know when to tell him how to use something or what something is? And I was told he might have not been treated well, so do we just ignore that or ask about it? Cause I don't want him to think we don't care," Jenny added.
Putting down his fork, Roy sighed.
"Dr. Brackett is going to get some information about Johnny's background. He will let your mom and I know what he thinks we need to know from that information. Once we learn about that, how about your mom and I tell you two what we think you should know. As far as bringing it up, I wouldn't bring it up unless he does. And as far as things being different between here and on a reservation, well, honestly, I'm not sure how to handle it," Roy acknowledged.
"I don't either," Jo spoke up. "I think this is one of the things that we will all have to take one day at a time and one thing at a time."
"Ok," Chris said.
"I just wish this hadn't happened," Jenny said wistfully.
"We all do, sweetie," Roy said.
Looking around, Jo noticed no one was eating much of anything anymore.
"Alright, why don't we clean up? You two kids have school tomorrow," Jo announced.
Without much grumbling, Jenny and Chris started helping to clear the table. Within a few minutes, the table was cleared and leftovers put away. Each of the four people began drifting off in their own directions to prepare for the next day.