Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

He hadn't gotten out more than a word or two all night, trying to think of what to say and how to phrase it. When she finally opened her eyes again he still wasn't ready.

"Hey mom," he said softly he rubbed her forehead a little.

"Xander," she closed her eyes again. He wanted to keep her awake, but Cindy said she needed her rest.

"You're so strong, I know you didn't get that from me or your father. I wished we could take back the years that have passed, just go back and redo it all over again...but we can't, can we?" she coughed a little, covering her mouth.

"No, we can't. If it means anything, I would like if we could redo it all again as well. Mom, there 's something I need to tell you. No matter what happened in this family, no matter what you or Tony did, I love you. I love you mom." his eyes were tearing up again this time he let them fall. "And I will miss you, not all the memories are bad ones. I remember that time when I was 7, dad broke my truck against the wall and I was so upset. You took me to the park and you let me play all day long there, then you bought me ice cream. You held my hand as we crossed the street. You were sober and you smiled and it was the perfect day." he could see tears in her eyes as well and she was smiling too.

"Thank you Xander, that means everything." she said softly then her arm dropped a little and suddenly he heard the sounds of her flat lining.

"Mom?"

"Mom?!" he said louder.

"Cindy!" he yelled when he finally gathered his wits about him. She came into the room and took in whatever the monitors were saying and started working on his mom. She even had a shock cart and she charged up the paddles.

"Clear," she yelled and tried to shock his mom. It didn't work. She tried again and it didn't work, then she turned off the heart rate monitor. He stared down at his mom. Part of him wanted to rage at Cindy, but it wouldn't do any good. If she hadn't died today she probably would have died tomorrow and at least she wasn't suffering anymore. He ran his hand through her hair, she was gone. She was really gone. He collapsed into the chair beside her and just stared at her.

"I'm sorry for your loss." Xander stared down at his mother, she was gone. His Uncle Rory, his Mom and Dad were the only relatives he had had. Dad was dead and Uncle Rory had died 8 years ago in LA during an apocalypse. And now his Mom was dead, he had no other family - except that he did. John Winchester was his Dad. While John Winchester was dead and Sam and Dean were possibly also dead, if they were alive he would find them. He had to find them.

A/N: So the end of this chapter is kind of misleading, it's going to take Xander a bit longer to find them.