Warning: Slight depression and self hate mentioned. I am sorry.

The next day at the meeting, Matt is exhausted. His dark thoughts from the night before kept him up to torture him and woke him up early to sit in silence. He tried to stay in bed for as long as could, pretending to sleep, relaxing himself, but it got him nowhere. He's got bags under his eyes and scowl on his face. The scowl is mostly due to Al's singing to get him out of bed. He sang a rancorous song, the French National Anthem, really badly and really loud. It just made Matt want to punch his brother in the face, but it got him out of bed, if not only to throw Al out of his room. None of the speakers today have anything important to say that involves Matt and his country, so he clunks his head on the desk and tries to sleep again.

It works for the most part, which he's thankful for. He drifts in and out of a sleepy state, woken up once or twice by some country yelling at another. It bugs him but it's partially his fault for thinking he could have a semi-peaceful sleep in the middle of all these over grown children, namely the Americas. He's woken up the last time by a hand petting his hair, which he wants to ignore and tell them to knock it off at the same time. Probably just Oliver, trying to be a father figure. He opens his eyes to see Matthew smiling down at him. Matt is caught off guard by the softness of Matthew's expression. Matthew's eyes sparkle and leans close to Matt to whisper to him.

"Go back to sleep," his soft voice sounds like a lullaby, so Matt closes his eyes again, and let's Matthew pet him. Matt doesn't fall asleep though, too aware of the hand on his head. He feels like he's making a mistake, letting Matthew baby him. Matthew should be the one being pampered, having soft hands play with his hair, not Matt. He's a bit upset with himself. Matthew is so loving to him and Matt feels like he doesn't deserve such kindness from him. But right now, he's to selfish to move.

Matthew is delighted Matt is sleeping. He noticed the bags under Matt's eyes before he even said 'hello'. So when Matt put his head on the table to try and sleep, Matthew felt relieved. Trying to soothe the larger man, Matthew ran a hand through his hair. Matt woke up to the action, but after Matthew's soft whisper to him, he fell right back asleep. He smiles at Matt's peaceful sleeping face.

Matthew watches Matt breath. He knows how much burden weighs on Matt's shoulders. During one of their late night talks, Matthew had gotten his double to open up and share some of his history and struggles. He held the world on his back during World War II, and had been one of the few left standing after Luciano's reign of terror. In his world Matt is one of the strongest, and the largest land mass. Matthew is up top in his world too, but Matt outranks him, by just a little, which he doesn't mind. Matt's history is more bloody and more involved than Matthew's, so he figures Matt deserves some recognition.

Matt's a grumpy person, but Matthew enjoys his company nevertheless. One of first times Matt ever came to visit him, it had been a beautiful summer day, so Matthew had all the doors and windows open to let in the breeze. He spent the day cleaning, making his home presentable. The only problem being Matt showed up an hour earlier than Matthew thought he would. So Matt got to see him dancing around in his kitchen, singing wildly into a broom. Matthew hadn't been embarrassed by the sudden audience, but Matt turned beet red. It had to have been one of the cutest things Matthew's ever seen. However, the soft chuckle and the small smile that Matt showed after Matthew told him the song he'd been dancing to is called 'American Idiot', took the prize. It had been one of the only times Matthew had seen some happy expression on Matt's face, and he wanted to see it again.

The meeting ends with a bang. Literally. Kuro, the Japan from his world, set off fireworks in the direction of the Chinas causing an Asian nation screaming match. Matt doesn't know how the fight ends because he doesn't stick around to watch it. Some tried to calm them down, but when Luciano gave up and left, he and the other nations took that as a sign the meeting is over. They just walked out, leaving the Asian countries to yell by themselves.

"Hahaha Kuro is the best!" Al is cackling on their walk back to the hotel, tripping over himself as he laughs. Matt still feels tired, thinking about taking a nap back at his room. Alfred groans.

"Dude not funny, I have to clean that mess up."

"I don't know Alfred, I think it really lit up the room," Matthew teases his brother. Alfred gives him a pained expression, going off about how Matthew is his brother and should be helping him. Matt starts to slow down in his walking, not really feeling up to the fast pace of those around him. Alfred is full of puppy like energy and Al isn't far behind. Matthew has more strength than he lets on, keeping up with the two is easy for him. Matt can't do it today.

Matthew notices though, telling the Americas to go on ahead, dropping his speed to match Matt's. Matthew engages him in simple conversation, replying to Matt's simple grunts and short answers. Matt is amazed that Matthew is talking to him, but feels awful for taking him away from better talking partners. He feels that he slows Matthew down and it hurts him. Matthew deserves the world, and Matt knows he can't give it to him.

Once again, late at night Matt is plagued by thoughts on how he's a mistake to this world, how Matthew would be better off without him. His smaller self always backed up his pace, or engaged Matt in talk or events, and Matt feels guilty for holding Matthew back. Matt has been having issues like this for a long time now. Horrible thoughts about himself. Matt knows who he is and that he's strong and a worthy person, but something about Matthew makes him feel like he needs to be more than himself. He knows these thoughts aren't healthy and he's tried to stop them. He just wishes he could give Matthew everything, but feels he has nothing to offer.

AN: Poor Matt baby... ah yeh! Second chapter! Hope you guys are enjoying it :D

Disclaimer: Hetalia ain't no belong to me