Hey Guys! I told you guys I would be posting a lot this week so here's another new chapter! This one is pretty long but I love it nonetheless. There's a lot of Jordi-Bee action and this chapter is pretty influence to their relationship throughout the rest of the story. Again same with reading any story there are some sensitive topics discussed in this chapter so please take caution reading, I'll try to keep it as non-graphic I can but I just wanted to post a warning as to not surprise any of you. So without any more delay, I present to you Chapter Eight: We're A Team Now

That's the thing about lies: Even if you're telling them for the right reasons, the person who usually winds up getting hurt, is you. -Leo Roth

We both sit down on my bed and I let out a shaky breath. I seriously can't believe I'm about to do this. You know what, I'll just wait. Yeah, I'm just going to wait until later, that way I'll have everyone in one place and I won't have to tell the same story twice.

"So what did you want to talk to me about." Jordi asks sensitively reaching over to put a comforting hand on my knee. Oh God what do I do? What do I do?

"Jordi," I begin. My whole body is shaking and I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my life. Why am I nervous? "I have a confession to make." I feel his eyes beating down on me and I lower my head. "It's-it's really hard for me to-to say this." I stutter getting mixed up into my words. Tears are beginning to form in my eyes and my throat is stinging from choking down my sobs.

"Hey, Bee. It's alright." Jordi comforts pulling me into a hug. "I'm here for you okay? Nothing you say can possibly be that terrible. I'm here for you." His words are meant to console me, I know, but I'm just so afraid of what he's going to think of me when all is said and done. Nobody likes a liar.

"Jordi," I sigh, taking a deep breath. "I've been lying to you guys. I do know why I'm here, I've just been too embarrassed and ashamed to admit it." There's actually a lot more emotions I feel with confronting my disease but it can't even begin to put them into words. Jordi listens attentively though, his arms tight and reassuring around me.

"It's okay Bee, you can talk to me."

I take a deep breath. "I have depression Jordi. I-I watched something really bad, something no one should ever have to experience." I can't bring myself to say what happened out loud so I carefully slide out a black frame I keep in my pillowcase and hand it to Jordi. He reads it silently.

"Phoebe, I'm so sorry." He finally says after finishing. Tears are openly streaming down my face now and my body is shaking with quiet sobs.

"I saw it all Jordi. There was so much blood. Claire-" I choke on my own words and Jordi pulls me closer into him. "She wasn't wearing a seatbelt, God Damnit Jordi! She never wears her fucking seatbelt!" I sob.

"Shh shh it's okay Bee." He consoles. I cry openly for a few seconds before continuing.

"She flew through the window, glass was everywhere and she just lied there. I jumped out of the car and I know you're not supposed to but I did. There's nothing I could do! God I should've done something, I could've saved her."

"Bee this isn't your fault."

"Yes it is!" I shout. "It's all my fault. I didn't know how to do CPR, my mom was thrown into a ditch across the road, my dad had hit his head on the dashboard and he was just laying there unconscious with blood pouring out of his head. I could've done something." We just sit there, me sobbing and Jordi holding me in his arms. Finally the sobs subside to little shakes and sniffles.

"I'm sorry Bee. Why did you feel like you had to hide this from us though? The whole point of the Red Band Society is to support each other through the tough times. We can't do that if you don't let us in on what's going on."

"I didn't want to lie to you guys, I really didn't and I feel awful for doing so but," I pause debating on whether to continue or not. "There's more to the story than what I'm telling you... The social workers released me to the custody of my aunt. I love her and everything but she just didn't understand what I was going through. She thought that I was fine, that I was back to normal. As you've probably noticed I'm pretty good at hiding my problems." At this he nods. "Sure my bumps and scratches healed but that doesn't mean that I did. I watched slowly as my mom got worse and worse. It was terrible. I felt so much grief and so much pain but I kept denying it not only to aunt but also to myself that those emotions were there. I lost control... I started cutting, it gave me a few seconds of this weird peace but afterwards I always just felt worse."

"It gave you back the control you felt you lost." Jordi acknowledges, I nod in response.

"One day I got back from visiting my mom in the hospital. They gave me news that I never thought I'd have to hear but considering everything that's happened it really shouldn't have been that much of a surprise." I stop. The words literally stop coming out of my mouth.

"What was it?" Jordi asks carefully.

"That she had less than a month to live." The words splur out of my mouth. "I was so upset. I felt like there was no point anymore. I felt like if she was gone there was nothing left for me to live for." Jordis jaw drops.

"No Bee. You didn't." I just nod, biting my lip. Slowly I extend my arm to him and he gently pulls up my sleeve. He looks, shocked at the scar near the bottom of my wrist.

"I just wanted it all to end. The pain, the looks from my classmates, everything. I wanted to be with my family again. Without my mom everyone I loved would be gone. They would all get to be together and I was stuck here suffering. So one day I just closed my bedroom door and did it. It wasn't deep enough though. Next thing I know I wake up here. My aunt could've taken me home with her, to get out-patient treatment with a therapist but I could tell she just couldn't deal with me anymore. She signed the forms for my residential stay, saying that I wasn't allowed to come back until I was better." I conclude quietly. I bite my lip harder trying to hold back another onslaught of tears.

"Wow Phoebe." Jordi just shakes his head. "That's a lot." I nod. "First of all I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all of this, but you can only get better from here. You're in a group now, a great one at that. It's a good thing Leo introduced you to us because it's so important to have a support system here. I'm in the same boat as you in terms of not having family around so believe me when I say friends are everything when you're in a hospital. So for now on I want you to come to us, we're a team now. Any problem of yours is a problem of ours and we are here to help you along your way to recovery." I lower my head.

"I haven't told anyone yet. Kara knows but-"

"Wait," Jordi interjects. "You told Kara?"

"No, some how she found out! She's been holding it above my head ever since I've gotten here. She said that if I didn't tell you all by tonight, she will." I reply quietly.

"So basically she threatened you." Jordi grumbles angrily.

"I mean I wouldn't call it a threat." I begin "But I know she was definitely trying to mess with me."

"It was a threat Phoebe." Jordi counters. He let's out a long sigh. "Okay look, here's what we're going to do." I notice how he says we instead of just leaving me with my own problems. He's not kidding when he talks about being a team. "Ignore Kara, she's a total bitch. I'll hang around with you until Leo, Dash, and Emma get back, Kara won't bother you with me around. We will worry about talking to them all later. Today, however, is supposed to be fun so, you and I are going to order a bunch of junk food and watch movies until everyone gets back." He gives me a big grin and I return a small one before sighing sadly.

"Jordi," I begin "you really don't have to do this for me." He cups his hand over my mouth.

"Shut up Phoebe. We are pigging out on Flamin' Hot Funyuns and ice cream and we are watching freaking High School Musical!" I burst out laughing. High School Musical? I mean yeah its a classic but I personally see Jordi as more of a Grease kind of guy. I think its the hair to be honest.

"Okay Kara." I joke chucking a pillow at him. He laughs.

"You're going to do this or I'm going to tell everyone you have cooties!" He jests back.

"That's it! I'm sticking up for myself!" I shout tackling Jordi so that the top half of his body is hanging off backwards. I'm on top of him and we're both breathing heavily, staring into each other's eyes. I swear we are going to kiss but something catches my eye near the door. I see Nurse Jackson watching us quietly but when she sees I caught her staring she nods to herself and walks away. I slowly roll off of Jordi, the mood completely killed.

"You said something about ice cream?" I asked tossing him my phone. He smiles.

"Yea, chocolate or vanilla?"

Hope you guys liked this chapter. I know it's one of the longer ones but I really want to get this story rolling because I feel like some recent chapters have been a little boring. Trust me when I say I have a lot planned for this story and I think you will all like it a lot. I'm still looking for more ideas for future chapters and also the Christmas chapter so be sure to post some in the review section. Also a little personal note, today I had the opportunity to work at a local food back and help hand out food to needy families in my community. If any of you readers ever have an chance to do something like this I highly recommend that you do. During holiday times especially it is very easy to take simple pleasures that we are given for granted, sometimes a reality check is just what you need to keep yourself grounded and thankful for what you do have. Thanks again for your continued support. Lots of Love and Happy Holidays -Britt