Chapter 8

KPOV

Jared and I have been together for 4 weeks now which has been amazing except for the fact that Seth still didn't approve, and I still had to spend the night worrying when he's out with his pack chasing the red-head they call her. She keeps coming back but always manages to escape. I am always filled with relief when I feel him lay next to me in the middle of the night after a chase. My huge crush I'd had on him had definitely grew into something even more intense. I was feeling as drawn to him as he was to me, and I was in love. I haven't told him yet though. Even though I'd never dated anyone before, I knew girls weren't supposed to say it first.

Their pack is growing; they have another new member, Jacob Black, which is good I guess. There is strength in numbers. Jared doesn't mind him, but he hates how the police chief's daughter who's friends with him uses Jacob. I guess she's still hoping her vampire will come back.

Today I am restless. It's Saturday and there's no school so I am at home, Jared's out with his pack hunting the red-head, and neither Leah or Seth have answered my texts. Was something wrong? I sat on the couch and stared out the window tapping my foot nervously.

Finally Jared appeared; he walked out of the words staring at the ground. Something was wrong. I was out the door in seconds and ran up to him. He smiled at me, but weakly.

"What happened?" I asked staring at him.

His face returned to looking sad and shook his head, "There was an incident in the woods today. Harry Clearwater was out hunting and the red-head startled him so much that he had a heart attack."

My blood ran cold, "Is he ok?"

Jared stared at me and I knew the answer. I covered my hand with my mouth in shock. Seth and Leah. What they must be going through right now.

"Are you alright?" he stroked my cheek with his hand.

"I-I'm alright but Seth and Leah probably aren't," I was already walking down the street toward their house.

"I'm coming with you," he said walking next to me. He held my hand which I couldn't help but squeeze tightly. I was nervous. I'd never been good at comforting people in hard times. I was always awkward.

As we walked Jared told me the awful story, how they had arrived too late to save Harry but his death would've been a lot worse if Jacob hadn't knocked her away from him. Then they chased her and lost her at the cliffs when she jumped into the sea.

As I saw their house come into view I noticed a whole bunch of cars all around their house. It was understandable half the Rez would be here. Harry Clearwater was a well-known and respected member of our community. One of the kindest men I'd ever met.

We came to the front door and I hesitated a moment before knocking. A few moments later Sue, Seth and Leah's mother answered the door with red eyes, but she smiled at me.

"Hello Kim and Jared. Thank you for coming," she motioned for us to come in. We walked in and her living room was full of people that had come to pay their respects, some faces I recognized like Sam, Emily, Billy Black, and the wolf pack, but others I didn't recognize like a few pale-faced people. I searched the faces for Seth and Leah. I spotted Seth sitting in on the couch with his head in his hands, but no Leah anywhere. Where was she?

"I'm so sorry for your loss," I told Sue awkwardly after she hugged me.

"Thank you. It means a lot," she smiled weakly, "Have you heard from Leah by any chance?"

Now I was really worried, "No I haven't," I answered, "Isn't she here?"

She shook her head, "When she found out she ran off into the woods. I'm really worried."

I swallowed my own worry and said, "I'm sure she's fine. She probably just…needed some space." I gave Jared a worried look and he walked over to Sam and whispered something to him.

Someone else came up to Sue and I made my way over to Seth. Before I got to him I bumped into a guy who looked a lot like one of the wolf pack, tan, shirtless, and muscular. I apologized and he smiled crookedly.

"It's all good, Kim."

I stared at him, "How do you know my name?"

"Well I only see you in Jared's mind all the time," he rolled his eyes as if the answer was completely obvious. Ohhh this must be Jacob.

I blushed, "Oh. Excuse me," I walked around him and closer to Seth.

I could tell he was crying and it made me feel depressed. I hated seeing my cheery friend like this. I sat down next to him wondering what I should say or do. I couldn't ask if he was ok, because of course he wasn't ok.

Before I could figure out what to say he looked up at me and I could see the tear streaks on his cheeks, "You came."

"Of course I did," I rubbed his back, "Seth…I'm so sorry. How are you holding up?"

"I feel…lost, but I'll be ok after some time," he sniffed, "I think it's Leah who is taking it hard. We don't even know where she is."

I nodded, "If there's anything I can do, anything you guys need just ask."

"Thanks Kim," he wiped his eyes, "If you don't mind I'd like your company for next few weeks, I mean…it would help to have someone to talk to."

"Sure Seth. Anything you need," I glanced at Jared who was talking to Paul, then Paul went out the back door. Was he going to try to find Leah?

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of sadness and efforts to comfort Sue and Seth. I had one arm draped around Seth while he continued to cry while Jared watched me. Paul never came back, or Leah. I never got to see if she was alright. I continued to text her, but no answer. Jared and I were the last ones to leave after I'd hugged Seth goodbye and it was dark and eerie outside.

I turned to Jared, "I'm really worried about Leah."

"Don't worry. Sam sent Paul to look for her," he took my hand and I shivered from a sudden breeze.

"I feel so terrible for them."

He squeezed my hand, "I know, Harry will be missed, but they are a strong family. They'll get through this."

"I hope you don't mind if I spend some time with Seth. He doesn't want to be alone to cope with all this," I said.

He hesitated but shrugged and said, "I don't mind. People handle grief differently than others. For instance I think Leah wants to be alone to deal with it but Seth is the opposite."

I shook my head, "Nobody wants to be alone."

LPOV

I stared down the gray wolf in front of me and I pulled back my lips to bare my teeth. I just wanted everyone to leave me the hell alone right now.

Earlier I had ran into the forest until I fell down from exhaustion when I learned what had happened to my father. There were so many emotions at once, sadness, grief, confusion and anger. So much anger. My hatred for vampires was at its breaking point. It was all their fault. I hated them all. I wanted my father back. Now the hole Sam had left in my heart was torn bigger. When I was on the ground, I sobbed then threw back my head and screamed from the overwhelming anger and grief. The scream transformed into a growl and then in a split second had exploded into something huge, furry, and powerful. Despite the pain I looked down and my hands, paws now.

I was a wolf. A wolf? I didn't think there could be any female werewolves. That was just great. Now on top of everything I'd have to take orders from my ex and see him almost every day. No. I didn't belong in his pack, I didn't belong anywhere.

I had decided to run away. I could live in the woods what did I have to leave behind anyway? Seth could take care of my mother. I could stay a wolf, hunt and run free for the rest of my life. Leah the lone wolf.

Now I stared at another wolf. I didn't know which one he was but why was he here? I showed him my teeth and tried to look menacing as possible.

Leah? Is that you? Paul's voice. It was in my head and I stopped. How did he do that?

I tried to say 'Of course it's me, who the hell did you think it was?' but all I could do were wolf sounds, growls and whines.

We can talk by thought, and we've never had a female wolf before so I thought you were someone else. Are you alright? He stepped closer.

If I was still human I'd have laughed falsely. My father is dead and now I'm one of you so of course I'm not alright! I snarled angrily.

I'm sorry about your old man. He was a good man. Come on, I'll show you the way back, he motioned with his head for me to follow him and turned around.

NO! I screamed out so loud in my head that he jumped and turned around, his fur bristling.

What?

I'm…I'm not going back, Paul. Ever. I sat down just to prove my point.

He walked over and stood in front of me staring, What are you talking about?

I'm not going back. There is nothing for me.

Nothing for you? Are you insane! You have your brother and your mother, they need you, his ears were flattened and his eyes narrowed.

I lowered my head and growled, What do you know? You don't know me. You don't even know what I've been through! If I go back I'll have to be in your stupid wolf pack led by my ex-boyfriend. I'll have to hear his thoughts, see his undying love for my cousin! I was over it but if I have to deal with that every day it'll re-open old wounds. I'm tired, Paul. I'm sick and tired of this pain! I didn't know why I was telling him all this. Confiding to Paul of all people. It wasn't like he cared really but I had no one else to vent to. I shook my head back and forth whining. It must have been the wolf equivalent to crying.

I get all that, his eyes softened, trust me I understand, but running away isn't the answer. It might hurt now but it doesn't mean it'll be like that forever. You'll find your true mate someday. Hell you might even imprint on someone you've know your whole life.

Before I could respond I saw images of himself and Rachel Black, his imprint, walking on the beach holding hands. He pointed out some broken glass in her path so she wouldn't hurt herself. Then it disappeared from my head.

Sorry about that, he looked down. I stared at him. I didn't even know he was even capable of a romantic side. I'll deny it if you tell anyone about that, he snorted, I still have a reputation to uphold.

I won't tell, but I think it's really sweet, my tail wagged a little.

Yeah whatever. You coming back with me or not?

I hesitated, I'd rather stay here.

He cocked his head to one side, You know, if you stay here that means you'll have to eat raw meat to survive.

I looked away, I can do that.

Ok let's see then, he growled and leaped to the side pouncing on something about ten feet away. Then he came back over to me with a dead rabbit in his teeth. It looked bloody and gross.

I stood and backed up wrinkling my nose, Yuck!

He dropped it from his mouth, I didn't think so. Let's go, he turned and started walking away then glanced back at me. This time I followed him home. If things got any worse there was still the runaway option.

KPOV (the next day)

I called Seth three times wondering what was going on. He was supposed to come over. I paced around my room, Jared was gone too. The pack had been meeting a lot more often lately. The red-head vampire keeps trying to come through. I almost wished I could be a wolf too just so I didn't have to stay home and I'd know what's going on. I bet Emily was more informed than the rest of the imprints since she was with the leader. Just sitting here worrying was driving me crazy.

Also I had another small problem to deal with. Maybe it was just because I loved Jared a lot but I was dealing with certain feelings I was a little embarrassed by. Like I wanted more than just kissing even though kissing Jared was incredible. He hadn't even tried to go any farther but I knew that was because he respected me, but lately I was feeling a little well, hot and bothered so to speak. But that was weird right? I mean it was the guy who supposed to want sex.

Still, I decided to try pushing him a little further tonight when he got back.

When he did get back he smiled at me but I could tell something that happened today bothered him.

"How was your day?" I asked after he hugged me tenderly making me blush as always.

He rolled his eyes, "Long. And intense."

"Why?" I asked as we both sat on my bed. My father was out. He was surprisingly ok with Jared and I dating, as long as he wasn't here when he wasn't and when he was here we kept the door open. We couldn't stand being separated for long though. It was painful for both of us. So he'd always sneak in to see me anyway. I didn't mind of course.

"Leah is one of us now," he said with a frown.

My mouth dropped open, "She is?"

He nodded, "Last night. Paul found her as a wolf and brought her back."

"I didn't even know there could be any females," I said shocked.

"Yeah neither did we."

"So…what's the problem? Do you guys not get along with her or something?" I asked.

"No," he chuckled, "That's not the issue. Well actually her and Jake fight a bit, but the thing we all hate is the depressing emotions that go back and forth between her and Sam. It's awkward and depressing. We can hear and see everything that goes on inside each other's heads you know?"

I nodded. It would be terrible to be stuck in a pack with your ex. Poor Leah.

"Can…she imprint on someone?" I asked hopeful. If she imprinted on someone else there wouldn't be any more pain or awkwardness. It would be like it never happened.

"We don't know," he smiled and stroked my cheek with his thumb making me shiver, "I missed you," he breathed and leaned toward my lips.

"I missed you too," I kissed him. It felt like it had been days since we had seen each other rather than hours. I blushed and the kiss deepened and I couldn't help but moan into his mouth. Then he pulled back but our foreheads were still touching as we breathed heavily.

"Unfortunately I can't stay. Sam has me running patrol tonight with Paul," he sighed and stood up with sad look.

I looked at the floor, "Its ok. I have Seth coming over to keep me company anyway," I said even though I didn't really know if he was coming or not.

He nodded and smiled at me, "I'll be back tonight to sleep with you." Heat rushed to my face and excitement even though he wasn't really talking about that.

I stood up and he pulled me into a hug then gently kissed my forehead, "I'll be back. Try not to worry about me."

"That's easier said than done," I hugged him tight for a moment enjoying his warmth and heartbeat.

Then he was gone as quick as he had come. I sighed and fell back onto my bed, and my phone rang soon as my head hit the pillow.

I stood up and lunged for it. It was Seth.

"Seth," I answered relieved, "Where have you been? Are you alright?"

"I'm…better than last night. Can I still come over? Sorry it took so long for me to call you. I've been with my mom making funeral arrangements," he sounded tired.

"It's fine. Yes come over please. We can watch a movie or something to take your mind off it," I told him.

"Ok, I'll be there in a sec," he hung up. Despite his grief, he did sound a tiny but happier. I would anything he wanted to do to cheer him up.

A few moments later there was a knock on my door and I quickly rushed to it and let him in. He was dressed nice with a black button up shirt and dark jeans, and looked a little older. His eyes were a bit puffy and tired but he smiled at me, "Hi, Kim."

"Hey Seth. Why you dressed so fancy?" I asked as I turned on the T.V.

"I wanted to dress nice for the funeral guy," he sat on the couch, "Can we watch something funny?"

"Sure whatever you want," I handed him the remote and sat next to him a little closer than usual, but I doubted he'd mind. I smelled a sweet scent. Cologne? Since when did Seth wear cologne?

He flipped through channels until he found a comedy, '21 Jump Street'.

"Where's Jared at?" he asked glancing at me.

"He…had some family business to take care of," I said. I hated lying to him. I knew he'd never lie to me.

"Does he leave you alone a lot?" he asked without taking his eyes off the screen.

I gave him a finny look, "Only when he has to. Why?"

He shrugged, "No reason. Hey have you heard from Leah today? She came home last night but she seemed different. Like something happened in the woods she didn't want to tell me or our mom about."

"I'm…sure she's fine, she's just trying to cope. Like you are," I elbowed him playfully.

He smiled at me, and it was almost the same smile before all this happened. Then he shocked me by taking my hand in his.

When he saw my look he looked down, his smile faltering, "You don't mind do you? I mean friends can hold hands."

I stared down at his overgrown tan hand wrapped around mine. It felt nice but also a little wrong. It was Jared I always held hands with but I said, "I don't mind." I didn't want to upset him at all with his father's death and all.

He smiled and we watched the movie in silence. I laughed at the funny parts but he only chuckled at a few. That was understandable.

When the movie ended it was dark in the house and outside except for the light of the T.V. He was still holding my hand.

"Well, it's pretty late. I bet your mom is missing you," I said a little awkwardly.

He didn't answer but he was looking at me intently. I was getting a little weirded out now.

"You ok?" I asked dumbly and he smiled and nodded. He was holding my hand a little tighter now.

"I was just thinking how…you make me feel better when I'm sad like this," he finally spoke.

I smiled, "Well that's what friends are for," I said probably putting too much tone in the word 'friends'. I was getting worried now that Seth liked me a little too much, but that was ridiculous right? He knew how I felt about Jared. We were friends and that was how it was meant to be, how I always hoped it would be. Oh god, please don't let him like me. Don't make me hurt him.

My fears were confirmed. I recognized the look in his eyes; the same look Jared gives me when he's about to kiss me but more deep. Before I could say no, he had leaned over and pressed his mouth to mine. I didn't kiss him back but didn't retreat either. I was too stunned. Why would he do this? Why would he forever endanger our friendship like this? Why was he going to make me look like a total jerk when he already knew his rejection was inevitable?

I finally came back to Earth and I reacted. I pushed him away but gently and took my hand from his grip. He stared at me with eyes full of sadness and it tore my heart.

"Seth what…I'm sorry but…you know I don't like you like that. We're just friends and I'm with Jared," I stood up.

He stood up too, "But I've always been there for you. You've known me way longer than Jared, and I know you better than he does I bet. Kim, he's not as perfect as you think. He didn't even notice you until a month ago! Leah had warned me that you would say that, and that you'd never choose me over him, but I didn't believe her!"

"Seth, please stop. We are friends and that's all. I know you want it to be more, but it will never be. I love Jared, but I also care about you. I hate hurting you, and I wish I could make you happy but I can't. Not in that way. Please understand. Please can we just go back to the way things were and pretend this never happened?" my hands were shaking from nerves as he stared at me. I didn't want to lose him.

"You honestly don't feel anything for me?" his voice quivered.

I knew my answer would rip his heart out, but it was the truth. I couldn't win no matter how I answered. I took a deep breath, "No. I'm so sorry, Seth." Even though I had told the truth and there was no other way, I felt like the scum of the earth. I wished I could tell him everything. About the wolves and the imprinting so he'd know why we would never be.

He stared at the floor for a moment, then he quickly walked past me without looking at me and out the door, slamming it behind him. I ran outside after him.

"Seth wait!" I was already crying and pouring rain stung my face. It was pitch black outside and he was already gone.

I called more for him. Finally cold and hopeless, I went back inside. I went to my bed and sobbed into my pillow until I had no more tears left in me and I fell into a troubled sleep. Seth's heartbroken face haunted me through the night.