Alright Guys! This is where the story starts to get exciting! I'm going back to trying to post on Mondays and Wednesdays now so keep checking back for new updates. In this chapter we finally begin to see Bee reveal her true self. If you guys think this is even the slightest bit dramatic just wait for next chapter, you guys are going to love it! Hopefully the anticipation is killing you guys so I'll stop talking. Happy Reading ;)
"Oh no, oh no. Nurse Jackson I can't go in there." I murmur. My anxieties begin to peak, I'm already embarrassed by my actions but I'm kind of a more in the heat of the moment girl then dragged out confrontation. "Do I have to go?" I beg. This should become my catch phrase I use it so often.
"Yes baby you do, and you're little game of hide and go seek has put Dr Heart at least 10 minutes behind schedule. We should probably be on our way now." We both get up from the table and hustle to Dr Hearts office. I feel like I'm going to pass out I'm so nervous. I can't face Ivy again, I don't want to.
"Nurse Jackson, why can't we just put all of this stuff behind us?" I plead. "I don't understand why we have to involve Dr. Heart."
"I know you don't like her Bee but there comes a time when you need to face your problems head on. It's obvious to both Dr. Heart and I that the tension between you and Ivy runs much deeper than just some social differences." We are outside of the office now and Nurse Jackson places her hand gently on my back leading me in. The one leather chair that is normally in front of Dr Hearts desk has divided into two smaller armchairs facing each other. Ivy sits in one with her arms crossed and the hood of her black sweatshirt over her head.
"Nice to see you finally make an appearance Ms. Johnson." Dr Heart acknowledges me immediately. Ivy shoots me a glare but I've taken on the neutral appearance that this room brings out in me. I'm standing right beside the chair facing Ivy but I hesitate to sit down.
"Go on Hun." Nurse Jackson whispers in my ear. I slowly take a seat while Dr Heart dismisses Nurse Jackson. The creaking of the door signifies the beginning of another a session in Hell. I stare right above Ivy's head not making eye contact with anyone. My back is stiff and straight, hopefully this doesn't take too awfully long. Dr Heart clears her throat snapping both Ivy and I's attention over to her.
"I do hope you both will act civil throughout this meeting." She states clearly. I can feel Ivy's glare burning holes in me.
"I will, however I can't speak for my counterpart over here. She does seem to have a bit of an attitude and a lack of control over her emotions." Ivy snickers. I take and slow breath holding my tongue. This is going to be a long session. Dr. Heart doesn't acknowledge Ivy's rude remark.
"Now obviously you both are aware of why you're here. What ever disagreements that are between you two needs to be resolved. You both do realize you're roommates right?" She asks rhetorically. I say nothing, as usual and surprising neither does Ivy. Dr Heart continues. "Being roommates means that you will spend a lot of time together. The two of you being here for the same treatment means even more time together, group sessions, workshops, and much more. You're going to have to learn how to get along or this tension will make getting better even harder." She sighs. "Ivy I'd like you to tell me your account of what happened earlier."
So Ivy dives into this story about how she was just peacefully putting up her decor and settling in when I came barging in messing up her funksway or whatever. I began shouting at her and making rude comments when she was being nothing but courteous to me. Soon she felt she had no other last defense but to argue back, not only sticking up for herself but also her side of the room. Thats about all she says before Dr. Heat turns to me.
"Phoebe would you like to explain your side of the story?" She asks politely. Ivy totally just made me look like the bad guy but continuing with my neutral responses I answer Dr. Heart.
"That's about it." I mumble and she eyes me questioningly.
"So you wouldn't like to defend your actions, according to what Ivy has said the situation doesn't exactly play to your favor." Dr Heart taunts. A spew of words want to force their way out of my mouth. I can tell Dr. Heart sees them sitting right on my tongue, she's trying to draw them out of me but I remain silent and just shrug. "As usual your lack of participation is overwhelming. This means I'm going to have to take Ivy's words as true if you don't choose to counter them." Again, she's daring me to speak up, putting words in my mouth I just want to spit back out. Ivy is snickering on her side of the room.
"I have nothing else to say." I mumble through gritted teeth.
"This is your last chance Miss Johnson." She states hoping to get one final strike at me but I say nothing. She spies me scornfully before turning in her swivel chair to retrieve something behind her. She hands Ivy a notebook identical to the one I have.
"What's this?" She asks inspecting the book.
"Your journal. As I've told Phoebe you will use this for various exercises and for personal writing. You are expected to keep up with it to use in therapy or appointments with me, a concept Miss Johnson has yet to grasp." She scolds giving me another look, Ivy smirks while Dr. Heart is not looking but she quickly turns back around to address Ivy again so her amusement is short lived.
"In fact," Dr Heart continues with a faked enthusiasm "you will be using it right now." I can't hold back my own smirk at Ivy's misfortune but this time Dr Heart catches me, go figure. "I wouldn't be too smug Phoebe, Nurse Jackson was kind enough to bring me your's earlier." She hands me my notebook with an accusing look that clearly portrays her knowledge of my lack of writing. She gives Ivy and I both pens to write with before giving us our prompt.
"Alright I would both like you to write a reason why you believe the argument earlier occurred or a problem you may have with the other.
"Why can't we just say it aloud?" Ivy snorts.
"Because," Dr Heart replies like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "One must think before they speak, writing before you speak is an even better form of doing so." Ivy huffs and we both scribble in the nearly lined paper.
I don't like her.
I look up from my notebook. Ivy is still feverishly writing in her book.
"Done already Phoebe?" Dr Heart retorts. I raise my eyebrows, holding up my notebook haphazardly in reply. We wait for what seems like ages as Ivy finishes. When she finally releases the pen into her lap I have to snap out of the dazed state I've fallen in.
"Are we ready to start?" Dr Heart asks again not getting an answer. She clears her throat. "Alright, Ivy you go first. Please read us what you've written down."
Ivy holds up her notebook and begins to read. "Coming into a hospital I wouldn't exactly expect to make friends, in general I wouldst either but that's beside the fact. When I was finally well enough to move out of the ICU into the residential ward I was told I would need to make at least a few friends for my recovery to occur smoothly. When they told me that my roommate was about my age and with the same disorder I felt like that would at least be a start. So flash forward to earlier today. I was hanging up my Moi Dix Mois poster when I hear a commotion. You're already aware of the occurrence so I'll skip through the technical parts. So anyway I'm greeted by this blonde, preppy girl who was supposed to be my roommate. I couldn't help but wonder if this girl was really the Phoebe Johnson I expected to board with. The one who's sister and father died in a car crash and who slit her wrists in an attempt to escape the grief that swallowed her whole." A wave of anger crashes over me at the fact this girl knows everything about me and my case. What ever happened to patient confidentiality? Ivy turns to face me and I shoot her a glare.
"You see, Phoebe. I know everything about you without even having a single legitimate conversation." That's it. The stitches that have been keeping my mouth shut tear open and I roll my eyes.
"Oh you do now?" I scoff. "I'd love to hear exactly what you think you know about me." Dr. Heart gives me a look.
"Miss Johnson it is not your turn to talk." She reprimands me.
"No," Ivy speaks up with a sneer. "I'd love to." She stares me down a moment before continuing. "Based off of your overwhelming confidence I would guess you as a Leo. That means you were born in August. Also based on your lighter skin tone and accent I would guess you are from the Midwest. Now that's just quirky facts only I would notice." She chuckles raspily but my demeanor is hard as a rock. "Anyway, the obvious things anyone could guess just by looking at you are you're the typical Pop. Long hair, thinner frame. I'd guess the athletic type, volleyball player for sure, maybe cheerleader to keep your status up. Good girl to come across but you're easily distracted by the smaller things, crushes, parties, a broken nail. You're type could be classified as the white girls. Your favorite restaurants are Panera Bread and Chipotle, love white mocha Fraps from Starbucks and I'm pretty sure you have at least 3 pairs of Uggs in your closet, including the ones you're wearing right now." I can't help but glance down at my Bailey Bows instilling a laugh from Ivy. "You think you're so mysterious but in all honesty you're just another stereotype, a face it the crowd or should I say Instagram search page." My jaw drops. Everything's she 's said has been true right down to the birth date and number of Uggs I have. This infuriates me, the fact that she thinks she knows me. She doesn't even know the half of it, top layer possibly but she has no right to judge me by the stereotypes regardless of how true they are. Especially after everything I've gone through she should know better.
"You want to talk stereotypes?" I scoff my voice raising angrily. "I'm looking at the fucking poster child for Depression! Short dyed hair, hood up over your head to detach you from the outside world. Punk rock boots and black everything. You think I'm predictable, just look in the mirror!"
"That's quite enough Phoebe!" Dr. Heart snaps.
"No!" I shoot right back. Frustration has taken grasp of my whole existence and all the words that have been forced behind my lips are breaking through. This is the most I've ever said in her office, the largest reaction I've ever revealed in her presence. The idea of her seeing me like this makes me uncomfortable given how hard I've tried to conceal my emotions but there's no going back now. "You're going to allow her to talk to me like I'm just some picture in a text book? You're going to let her to judge every aspect of me and when I FINALLY speak up you're going to chastise me and shoot everything I say down?"
"Why don't we all just take a deep breath." Dr. Heart suggests calmly. I take a glance at Ivy who is grinning smugly beneath her hood. This is exactly the reaction she wanted to get out of me. She takes a dramatic breath in response to Dr. Heart, being so compliant and obedient. She's the perfect patient. I shove myself out of the chair and throw my notebook down before storming out of Dr. Heart's office. She is shouting for me to come back but I hold my hands over my ears as I sprint to Jordi's room.
I'm so so so excited for you guys to read next chapter. I know this one was a little long but I really wanted to dive into Bee and Dr. Heart's relationship. Obviously there's tension there that probably shouldn't be considering the Doctor - Patient relationship. It should be pretty obvious the tension between those two. I can't say much more because I don't want to spoil the next chapter but super special shout out to catluver9999 I've definitely taken your comment into consideration for the rest of the plot. As usual I am astounded by all the support you guys give me, you all are the best.
Lots of Love - Britt