Hey Guys! Get ready for the craziest chapter ever. Just a quick side not, this chapter in pretty intense and may be sensitive to some readers, please only read at your own discretion. Besides that I think you guys will like this chapter a lot, very dramatic and is one of the most important ones to the rest of the story. So I got this absolutely brilliant idea while writing this okay? So what if I write the story like with three main points which obviously would be Lies, Love, and Life! So then at the end it would just be a wrap up of life in general... Hard to explain but if you catch my drift comment below if you think that's a good idea. I will probably write with those three main points as my outline now so be prepared for some LOVE coming up in this next section of the book. That's all I've got to say for now so start reading!
I race to Jordi and Leo's room, carefully to stay out of the watchful eyes of nurses, keeping a particular eye out for Nurse Jackson. I hop into the service elevator quickly. As soon as the doors slide closed I feel myself begin to break, I'm shaky and my heart is beating so fast I feel like something is seriously wrong. It's not long until the doors slide open to reveal the cancer floor. This is where I'm going to have to be extremely careful, there are so many staff around it's going to be hard to not get caught, especially since I've been spending so much time down here, I'm not exactly a stranger.
I'm almost there but as I near their room with the black and yellow paint over the windows I hear a voice in there talking. I don't recognize the voice but I know I've heard it often.
"I wanted to talk to you boys about something." The voice says. I slide my back against the door, careful not to make my presence known.
"Sure thing Doc. What's up?" Leo's voice asks.
"Are either you aware of the new girl who's moved into the mental illness floor?" The deep voice inquires.
"Bee?" Jordi's eager voice speaks up. I hear a small thud and I'm guessing that Leo just smacked him on the arm.
"No Jordi, Ivy. Geez get your head out of the gutter." I try to conceal my laugh.
"Yes, Ivy Porter. I believe she is sharing a room with Phoebe. Anyway I was wondering if you guys, not just you two, Emma, Dash, and even Kara or Hunter, would, I don't know, talk to her? Be a friendly face. After taking Miss Johnson under your wings I don't think this is too much to ask." Wait. Did this doctor guy ask Leo and Jordi to befriend me like he's asking them to do with Ivy? Has my friendship with them been based on some promise? I'm lost in my own thoughts when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I take it out and look down at a text message from Jordi
You're not very good at hiding. Why don't you just come in, I need to be rescued from this conversation. #BoringAboutToBeSnoring
I quickly look into the room to see Jordi staring back at me, phone in his hand. I take a shaky breath before stepping into the doorframe.
"There's the lovely lady now!" Jordi exclaims drawing everyone's attention to me. I feel my cheeks begin to warm.
"Hi Jordi." I reply meekly.
"Phoebe, have you met Dr. McAndrew?" Leo asks. I shake my head.
"I'm one of the pediatric surgeons here." The doctor extends his hand to me forcing me to enter the room to shake it.
"I'm Phoebe." I state quietly.
"I already know who you are." Dr. McAndrew states. "I was your head surgeon when you got here. I'm not surprised you don't remember. You were a tough case Miss. Johnson, It's a good thing your aunt got you here in time otherwise things could have been a lot worse. Speaking of, shouldn't you be in a meeting with Dr. Heart?" Damn, this conversation went south fast.
"It ended a while ago." I lie.
"What are you doing down on the cancer floor? Shouldn't you be on the fifth floor?" He presses. He's obviously annoyed by my interruption whereas the boys look at me like I'm an angel sent from up above to save them.
"Bee's a good friend of our's." Leo speaks up. He must not know I've been listening in on their whole conversation. "She likes to come down here to hang."
"It's fine, actually I probably should be going back up to my room anyway. Ivy and I are going to watch Twilight together." The boys see straight through my lie and both eye me skeptically. I keep my attention on Dr. McAndrew, not able to face the prying eyes of my friends. "It was nice meeting you Doctor." I pause. "I have a feeling I'll be seeing you soon." I force myself to exit slowly and casually but as soon as I'm out of eyeshot I take off full sprint to my room.
Tears begin pooling in my eyes. Between running and sobbing I'm struggling to get enough air which is making me light headed. I don't take the elevator up to my room though. I sprint down the hallway to a big metal door hoping it is unlocked. It is.
The semi-familiar stairs in front of me disappear as I race to the top. A rush of air whips past me, the chilly December air even colder up on the high roof. This isn't like the welcome party. I have no friends to surround me, No beanbag chairs or Christmas lights. Just the hard cold concrete beneath my feet. I staggered forward a few steps before collapsing on my knees. I fumble with my purse, tears blurring my vision until I come across it. My nail clippers. I flip them open to reveal the sharp little knife with the file along the side. I borrowed these from Emma the other day, innocent enough right?
I hold the tool between my thumb and forefinger roughly slicing it across my skin. It makes scratches, even draws blood a few times but this small action is doing nothing to draw me away from the pain of what's just happened, of everything that's happened.
Everything is a lie. Everything. My friends, my family, my crush for Jordi. Oh God! That's even worse! I let my feelings get way too far ahead of me, I let myself actually think that he liked me back, that he cared. No one cares, I've just been making a fool of myself this entire time. Running around trying to make friends, pushing the past behind me, where I really needed to focus on my main goal. Being back with my family, back with Claire.
This whole idea of a hospital life, of a boarding school mixed with summer camp is just a distraction. The appointments, the doctors, the nurses, these people who are asked to be my friends, is all a distraction to keep me from doing what I'm meant to do! An obstacle in my way, blocking me from my goals! I can't believe I let myself get so caught up in these lies. It's like this weird veil of clarity has settled over me. I know what I need to do.
I try to pull myself to my feet but I'm so unstable I just fall back down. Why is the floor wet? I crawl forward slowly to the edge of the roof. Everything begins to slow down and there is a ringing in my ears. My breathing is shallow and my mouth is really dry. I have to stop every few inches because I'm so dizzy.
Finally I'm within arm's length of the raised edge of the roof. I place my hands on it, slowly beginning to pull myself up.
"Bee?" A voice shouts. I whip around to see Dash, Jordi, and Emma standing outside of the door that leads up here. Leo is behind them. "Bee stop!" Dash shouts again. He shoves Emma back inside along with Leo. "Go get help." I can faintly hear him say. I'm caught. They are going to try to stop me from, wait what was I doing again? I turn around to see the LA skyline reaching out before me. Oh yeah, I remember. I scramble to my feet, I have to move fast or else they will try to stop me and I'll be stuck here! It's so hard to move fast though. The world is spinning around me, I feel like I'm going to be sick.
I climb up onto the edge and look shakily down below me. The lights are so pretty, all of the cars bustling home to see their families. I'll be with my family soon too. I raise up on my toes, poisoning myself to jump. This is it. It's like I can my family extending their arms for me to jump into. I leap into the air but I'm going to wrong way! I'm going backwards, back towards the building that's holding me prisoner..
There are arms tightly wrapped around me and we both slam to the hard concrete floor. I begin to scream.
"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! PLEASE LET ME GO!" I shout fighting the arms that are restraining me. My screams become mingled with sobs.
"Jordi, man!" My captor's voice shouts over mine. "I need some help over here!" Soon there is another pair of arms forcing me down. My mobility is even more diminished, fighting is getting even harder. I twist my neck up to see two familiar faces but I don't know who they are. Suddenly there is a stampede of footstep storming onto the roof and I fight against their arms to see who it is.
There are a lot of people. A dark skinned lady steps forward with a petite red headed one. She is holding a needle. Oh man I hate needles.
"No!" I cry my voice squeaking. They approach slowly and cautiously.
"It's okay Bee." The dark skinned woman with the needle consoles softly. "Don't fight it, okay baby?" There is a small shift in my captors' grips and I feel like this is my chance to escape. Instead I feel a sting in my arm and things start to go fuzzy.
My cries are quieter, things around me begin to blur and every blink I take seems to last longer and longer before I can't open my eyes anymore.
Phew, insane right. Sorry if it is a little confusing but I promise everything will be explained better in the next chapter. I was absolutely amazed by all the feedback I got this week and I was so happy reading from all of you! Special shout outs to Rosalie1316 , xoElle23 , Guest, and super amazing spectacular shout out to Hiway202 ! I'm so happy that you like my writing and that you can relate to it, it really makes me feel like I've done something to really inspire people other than just typing random words on my computer. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation but just know that I hope you feel better soon and I am always just a PM away if you ever want to talk! Again thank you all for reading and all of your love and support. Today's QOTC is pretty random but how much snow are you guys getting? I've hardly gotten any where I live but the wind chill has been so cold we already have a 2 hour delay FOR TOMORROW! I wish everyone good luck whether you're back to school or back to work, it's always tough coming back after break. Stay safe on the roads if you are in one of the more snowier place, I don't need any of my beautiful readers getting hurt!
Lots of Love -Britt