Dreamcatcher
By Airyo
Secrets in a Memory - 3
"You should be in class," someone said kindly. Even though his voice was still the light tenor of a boy, he sounded so tired and old. Despite the chastisement, she felt an immediate rapport with the boy with the weary voice.
But Hinata didn't lift her head. If he didn't know who she was, he won't know exactly how shameful she really was.
"I can't," she admitted softly.
Hinata heard him sit next to her. There was the soft clank of kunai. She peeked at him through the crook of her elbows with shock. He sounded so young, yet he was wearing the uniform of an ANBU captain! He was looking forward, so she couldn't get a clear glimpse of his mask, but it resembled some sort of rodent. Maybe a mouse?
Suddenly, she felt that much smaller. There were so many strong ninja in Konoha, and she couldn't even handle a basic genjutsu put on her.
"Why?" Mouse (as he was now dubbed in Hinata's mind) asked gently. Hinata remained silent. "Will you tell me?" he asked.
"I'm an embarrassment because I'm weak," she whispered reluctantly and closed her eyes. More hot tears welled from her eyes, pooling where her cheeks touched her knees. Then every doubt and hurt she had repressed came spilling out, despite her worsening stutter as her sobs grew stronger. He didn't know her identity anyways. "No matter how I train, my little sister is always b-better than me. She always beats me in spars. Father doesn't say anything but I know he's sad and I can't make him p-proud like she can and sometimes I just h-hate them all so m-much..." The rest of her words became a garbled sob.
There was pause before Mouse spoke again. "If you hate them, why do you try to please them?"
"Because th-they're my family, m-my clan," Hinata choked out. It difficult to speak with the enormous lump in her throat, but somehow she felt it was important clarify that to Mouse. "And I n-need to be...be strong so I c-can protect them."
"You can protect Konoha in more than one way," he offered after another long pause.
Sweet and polite as she was, Hinata was still a nine-year-old-girl in need of comfort. And the person offering comfort was proving to be phenomenally bad at it.
She began crying harder.
"But I can't p-protect my family if I'm not strong!" she wailed. "Konoha isn't K-Konoha without them! You're a...a stupid ANBU!"
Belatedly, Hinata realized that she was spitting vitriol at an ANBU captain. She heard him stand. She hugged herself, bracing for another scolding.
"The measure of one's ability is in what one chooses to protect, so I think you are far stronger than you realize. Thank you," he said. A warm hand rest on the top of her head for a brief moment.
When Hinata looked up in surprise at his praise, she was alone.
You are far stronger than you realize.
She must believe that. Mouse had told her that even though she'd only yelled insults at him. He'd even thanked her, though she didn't know why. Resolutely, she wiped away her tears and stood.
She returned to the Academy, head held high.