Hey Guys! Here's the new chapter! It's not very exciting but I wanted to give you guys a little bit of a breather after all that's happened! Anyway this chapter basically just explains in better detail what exactly happened the night on the roof and hopefully clears some things up for you guys. as many of you know there is a strong possibility that FOX will be canceling RBS :( super sad right? So if you haven't already please please PLEASE go sign the petition to keep it on air at p/fox-keep-red-band-society-on-the-air it really doesn't take much and even though they ask you for your email they don't send you anything. Please spread the word and ask everyone you know to sign! Also if you are on social media be sure to use the hashtag #saveredbandsociety ! Remember this show means a lot to so many people and just one supporter could make a difference. Commercial break over, here I give you all Chapter Seventeen: Awake
I awaken in a room that is not my own. Everything is very soft and fuzzy, my body numb. They have me on some sort of drug I know, but what's going on? I turn my head to the side slowly to see a figure sitting beside my bed playing on their phone.
"Dash?" I croak. I cough a few times, why am I so hoarse? Dash gives me smile before putting down his phone.
"Hey there bumble-Bee. I didn't think you'd remember me." How could I not remember Dash?
"I remember you just fine." I attempt to say. My voice cracks to just a raspy whisper. "What happened?" He looks uncomfortable, his normally calm appearance faltering.
"Bee," he answers softly. "You tried to kill yourself." At first I'm really confused, but then everything comes flooding back to me. I cry out at the pain that begins in my head as the memories force their way back. I grab my head willing the pounding to stop. Dash reaches over to put a hand on my shoulder. "Woah, take it easy bumble-Bee. Doc said too much strain on your brain will only cause it to flare up."
"Cause what to flare up?" I ask through gritted teeth.
"You're concussion." A voice answers walking into my room. She is pretty, obviously a doctor. She has short wavy brown hair and a kind smile. Dr. McAndrew walks in beside her. "You were very lucky it wasn't something more. We can fix a concussion but with a fall like you had it could've been a lot worse." I'm so confused.
"What are you talking about? I thought, someone grabbed me before I jumped." I stutter trying to piece back what happened.
"They did, or I guess you could say he did." Dr. McAndrew says gesturing to Dash. I look at him, he saved my life. Too bad I didn't want to be saved. His heroic act almost feels like betrayal as I remember how anger I was when he snatched me."Your head trauma didn't come from you jumping from the roof. When you first got up there, we suspect you tripped and hit your head rather hard on the floor. This is estimated to have happened before you tried to cut your wrists."
"The amount of blood loss was already severe from your head trauma that the extra cuts you instilled upon yourself caused you to go into Hypovolemic Shock. That's why you may have felt dizzy, out of breath, feverish, nauseated, or confused." The woman doctor finishes. She gets an impressed look from Dr. McAndrew. I'm surprised I'm not in shock now absorbing all this information.
"How long have I been out?" I ask hesitantly.
"About 5 days." Dash replies. 5 days? Dr. McAndrew must sense my bewilderment because he speaks up.
"You see we had to sedate you to be able to calm you down enough to get you back to the hospital. Then we had to do a blood transfusion and rehydrate your body. After all that was done we need to run a lot more tests on you to make sure you were okay. We wanted to give you time to recuperate peacefully, we didn't exactly know how you would react when you woke up. You gave us all quite a scare." Well that explains the drugged feeling I'm experiencing right now. I'm silent. I have no idea how to reply to all of this, how to react. I wasn't expecting to come back to the hospital, I expected to die. Now I have to come up with an excuse for my actions and face everyone I've disappointed, including myself. I wish I could've just followed through with it.
"Did you hear him Bee?" Dash whispers in my ear, startling me. I shake my head. The brunette doctor gives a small chuckle.
"He said, I'm Dr. Grace." She replies with a smile. Dr. McAndrew's phone beeps and he glances down at it.
"I've got to take this, I'll be back in a moment." He addresses us before leaving the room.
"I've got to go too." Dash says. "I told the gang I would go get them when you woke up." This is like a stab to my heart, who did they promise now to come check on me? I lower my head sadly as I hear Dash make his way out of my room. Dr. Grace walks over beside me and sits down on the edge of my bed.
"Do you mind if I talk to you about a few things?" She asks politely. I knew this was coming but in all honestly I have no story planned out as to answer for my actions.
"I don't know." I mumble.
"I'm not going to pry if you think that's what I'm doing." She smiles. "I just want explain your situation a little better to you." She leans in to whisper in my ear. "I think Dr. McAndrew just likes to use big words to make himself look smart." This makes me laugh, or well I guess smile because my vocal chords are acting like crap.
"Okay." I tell her. She thinks a minute before continuing.
"You went into shock because of all the blood you lost, that's what Hypovolemic means. However we also found that your fluids were very low and that you've lost 9 pounds in the few days you've been here. We believe your dehydration and malnutrition helped play into your injury severely, possibly one of the reasons you collapsed and hit your head in the first place." She adjusts herself before continuing softly. "Have you been eating okay Bee?" She asks
"I mean, I guess, I don't really know. I haven't exactly been paying attention." I stutter trying to remember.
"One side effect of Depression is lack of appetite but we need to ensure you are still getting the nutrients you need. If you think it is something else you need to tell someone, we don't want you to develop any more problems while you are here." They are worried about me getting an eating disorder. Now that I think about it, it isn't such a bad idea. Slowly shrinking my portion sizes. It could be my new cutting, but with no physical marks. Heck, I'll even be skinnier! I will debate this later but until then I continue to talk to Dr. Grace
"I know I said I wasn't going to pry but, is there a certain trigger that caused you to want to do such a thing." She asks softly. Just then there is a commotion outside of my room. I look over to see all of my friends - or should I just say the Red Bands - standing outside my room arguing with Dr. McAndrew.
"Come on Dr. McAndrew. We've been waiting forever to see her." Leo begs.
"I'm sorry guys but she is really fragile right now. I can't allow you all to go in there, it might be too much stimuli for her brain."
"Please Doc?" Jordi pleads. "Just five minutes." I look at Dr. Grace whose attention has also drifted to that side of the room, but I catch her eye.
"Are they the," She begins but everyone begins to file into my room chatting. Emma's brought me flowers, Leo's got some balloons and Jordi has this huge stuffed teddy bear that her drops in my lap.
"Hey guys." I choke out.
"Hey Bee." Leo begins.
"How are you feeling?" Emma speaks up.
"I missed you." Jordi interjects. "I-I mean WE missed you." He corrects they are all talking over each other trying to make the most of their five minutes, giving me a headache. I really don't want their fake sympathy and would rather be alone.
"Hey guys, give Bee a little space, you don't want to overwhelm her." Dr. Grace suggests nicely and the room quiets down a little bit.
"We miss you." Jordi repeats but now that everyone is faced with silence no one really knows what to say. What do you say to someone who just tried to commit suicide? Emma talks about how they started this new project in school about The Taming of The Shrew. Leo is only excited about watching the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. Jordi doesn't really say anything else and I can't tell if he is being shy or if he is too afraid to talk to me.
The five minutes crawl by slowly by and finally Nurse Jackson is at the door.
"Alright you guys, five minutes are up. Time to say goodbye." Sadly, nobody objects, this just plays into my theory that they are all just visiting me because they have to. They all stand up and file out of the room except for Jordi.
"Get better soon okay Bee?" He says softly before following the others. Words can't describe how confused I am. My stomach still gets butterflies when he talks to me but I need to accept that it's all just an act. I lower my head sadly.
"What's on your mind Bee?" Dr. Grace asks brushing a piece of hair out of my face.
"Too much to explain." I shrug quietly. As all of these thoughts start running through my brain my head begins to pound even worse.
"How about you try to get some rest? You don't want to put too much strain on your head. Just take it easy alright?" She leans over to press a button on the machine my IV is connected to. "I'm no psychiatrist, but if you ever want to talk, you know with someone beside your friends or Dr. Heart, I'd love to."
I like Dr. Grace a lot, there's just something about her that is different from Dr. Heart. My IV begins to pump some fluids into me that make me drowsy and soon I fall asleep, unable to worry myself with any more doubts.
I was absolutely astounded by the tremendous amount of support you all have given me especially on my last chapter! 5 whole reviews! Special shout outs to Hiway202 , xoElle23 , Rosalie1316 , BuBBles3531 , and loonyprincess902 ! To my new followers, I hope you all enjoy my story and I hope to hear from you all either through PM or my reviews. To my loyal readers, the people who check back every chapter and follow intensely along with Bee's story, I could never thank you enough for all of the love you have all given me. Writing this last chapter I was forced to step out of my comfort zone and was very apprehensive about writing. I was very afraid of what others may think and that my story would no longer receive the views it does. Your words of kindness and support help me to be more confident in my own writing and to push me to keep doing what I love. Without all of you, this story wouldn't even exists. That said please keep reviewing and following so that I have plenty of fresh ideas and clear knowledge of all of the people who care! You guys are all so amazing and no matter where you are in the world or no matter what you are doing right now, I want you all to know that there are people out there who care. Sure they may just be random people from the internet but they care lol! I wish you all good luck at your second week back at school or work and I'll see you all again Wednesday.
Lots of Love, Britt