Who I am

Challenge: It's All in a Name || Word Count: 936

Smallstep

There was more than one reason why she hated it.

She wasn't even small anymore. She had been when she was a kit, so tiny there were questions whether she would survive her first leaf-bare. She was never going to be the tallest cat in the Clan, but now that she was able to look at her former mentor without having to strain her neck she felt like it didn't really represent her very well.

That reason she could overlook- she'd heard worse names, after all. But everything she heard it spoken, she heard two different voices calling it from deep within her mind. Voices nearly forgotten, belonging to kind faces and bright eyes that were beginning to blur into a vague and distant memory. She hated that too; what sort of cat did it make her if she forgot the faces of her own parents? Brackentail and Dapplenose, two casualties from the terrible battle that had raged when she was only four moons old. She could recall her mother's lime green eyes and father's russet and black flecked pelt whenever she looked in a puddle, but anything other than those traits were starting to fade from her mind.

In the time leading up to her warrior ceremony she'd almost begged StarClan for a new one. A name that represented who she was today, right now, rather than the pitifully tiny kit born on that cold leaf-fall morning. She'd asked the Medicine Cat whether it had been done before, and he'd told her about a ceremony scarcely used that would give her the very thing she wanted most of all. As Flickerstar called her to the front of the Clan she had been certain the whole Clan would be able to hear her heartbeat, but when "Smallstep" was announced her spirits had dropped. It had been two moons now with that name, and her disappointment was still as bitter as it had been on the day she received it.

Her old mentor had noticed her crestfallen nature, as he always had done during the moons she trained with him. Pineclaw had been responsible from changing the timid, confidence-lacking kit she'd become after her parents' deaths into a warrior with belief in her own abilities, and she could never thank him enough. Battle training still worried her, something she didn't think she would ever be able to escape, but at least now she felt able to join her Clan in battle rather than cower in her den as she might have done a few moons ago. She noticed some of his other habits had rubbed off on her too- a testament to how close they'd become by the time her training had finished. She'd taken to hunting by herself first thing in the morning, sprinting through the hills with nothing to think about other than putting one paw in front of the other. Sometimes she brought back prey, sometimes nothing at all. But today had been her best hunt so far; there was a kite in her jaws as she returned to camp, its dark red plumage almost matching the colour of her coat.

The first thing she saw was Pineclaw and Flickerstar leaving the leader's den together, heads bowed as they talked. She knew that Pineclaw had once been Flickerstar's apprentice, so she wasn't too surprised to see the two cats together. But she was surprised when they both turned to look at her, their conversation stopped other than a couple of words from Flickerstar. As she hauled her kite over to the fresh-kill pile, Pineclaw trotted over to join her while Flickerstar bounded onto the Fallen Pine and called the summons for a Clan meeting.

"What's this about?" she asked Pineclaw, sitting down with the rest of the Clan. "Surely the apprentices aren't ready to receive their names yet?"

Pineclaw smiled, just slightly as usual. "Wait and see," he said.

After Flickerstar had greeted the Clan, her sharp bronze eyes swept the crowd until they rested on one cat. "Smallstep," Flickerstar said, and she felt heat rising up her cheeks, "please come forward to stand beneath the Fallen Pine.

She looked back at Pineclaw with confusion on her face, but he only nodded in encouragement. Taking a deep breath, she picked her way through her Clanmates to sit in front of Flickerstar.

"Spirits of StarClan, you know every cat by name. But I ask you now to take away the name from the cat you see before you; for it no longer stands for what she is." She could barely restrain her gasp, a mingling of disbelief and excitement at what she thought was about to happen.

"By my authority as Clan leader, and with the approval of our warrior ancestors, I give this cat a new name."

/Please be something good/, she prayed.

"From this moment on, in honour of her determination and resilience, she will be known at Kitesprinter."

As the Clan began to chant the new name, Kitesprinter shakily licked Flickerstar's shoulder as she'd done in her first ceremony before scampering back to where Pineclaw sat. Pride evident in his voice, he asked "Do you like it?"

Kitesprinter grinned. "Like it? Pineclaw, it's perfect!" she squealed. A thought suddenly occurred to her, and she asked suspiciously "Was that what you were talking to Flickerstar about when I came back with that kite? Was this your idea?"

Pineclaw only responded with a knowing look, but that was all the response that Kitesprinter needed. For the first time, she realised, she felt like she knew who she truly was.

Kitesprinter.

I am Kitesprinter.