Winter's Secret
Chapter 4
The sensation of falling woke me just before I hit the ground. Thankfully, it felt like I impacted a large pile of mattresses and blankets instead, so for once it didn't hurt nearly as bad as it could have. I took a moment to just lay there and rest with my eyes closed so that my pain centers could catch up. Surprisingly, there was no delayed feeling of injury, no dislocated joints, or the chill of blood seeping from a wound. Considering all I'd just been through, that in itself was pretty remarkable. Now, if I can just build on that success and hopefully get myself out of whatever twisted storybook situation I'd been trapped in.
I opened my eyes to look around.
I'll admit I was half expecting to be at the bottom of the rabbit hole and see a round room with lots of doors.
Yeah, not so much.
In fact, that was not even close.
First of all I'd not landed on a convenient pile of mattresses and blankets but instead upon the same giant rabbit that had been trying to skewer me. I almost flinched as it drew another breath that demonstrated it was still alive. Then I noted the twelve inch eye staring back at me from two feet away was glassy and the pupil was dilated. It seems bunny had not landed nearly as softly as I had.
You understand if that didn't bother me.
I carefully tried to sit up, which made me inadvertently bobsled down the creature's belly. I only just got my feet under me in time to prevent myself from landing on my backside. That was good because once I was standing up I noted that I was nearly surrounded by a crowd of a hundred or more people staring at me with even wider eyes filled with surprise than what I had.
The tallest of the crowd rose up only to my thighs, most only my knees, and all of them were dressed like they had just come from Oktoberfest, with lederhosen, bib overalls and pointy hats of green, brown, and red. The men had bushy beards, women tied up hair braids, and the overly pudgy children rosy cheeks while still clinging to their parents' legs. I could feel that all were absolutely apprehensive at my appearance. Had I done anything even as remotely aggressive as just saying 'boo,' I'd have sent them all scurrying for cover.
On the bright side I was familiar with these type of fairy folk as Harry had once introduced me to a family of them working in a mall in Chicago repairing shoes. Mythology had dozens of names for their kind; brownie, gnome, even leprechaun, depending on what country you were in. I knew they were simply one of the small races of the Seelie Court that had a generally positive view on humans. They also often provided unseen assistance, such as repairing their shoes, cleaning houses, or keeping other more mischievous and malevolent spirits away from human families undeserving of such visitors. Though small, these clans could be downright dangerous if cornered. I had no intentions of doing so.
In fact, if I asked nicely, I could probably get them to point me in the direction of a safe portal to get home since these folk travelled back and forth between the realms on a fairly regular basis. So time to try a skill I so rarely get the chance to as a wizard; namely being friendly and polite to magical beings.
"Hello, my name is Molly."
I sensed my words put the entire crowd on edge but since 'boo' had not been uttered, and I'd not released any magical spell, they held fast.
"Be you a witch?" An elderly looking lady with grey braids asked while the man at her side, I assumed him to be her husband, barely kept his mouth closed tight enough to not drop the long stemmed smoking pipe sticking out of it.
The title of 'witch' tends to have a fairly negative connotation for wizards, especially we female ones. That was often a label we were branded with during trails by normal people to justify burning us at the stake. It's also carried a rather negative term of reference in the Bible. I tried to avoid associating myself with it for these very reasons whenever possible.
"I'm a wizard." I gently corrected the elderly woman, but added a smile to try and not seem offended.
I sensed a surge of tension at my announcement, but again because I had made no hostile gestures the mob did not flee. Instead a burst of mumbling broke out among the crowd. The dozens of different conversations in such hushed tones made it impossible for me to hear any one of them completely. The best I could do was catch a word or phrase here and there.
"…killed her…"
"…help…"
"…doesn't even wear shoes…"
"…wizard knows…"
"…that was my sandwich…"
"…who'd wear a dress like that?"
"…smells like carrots…"
"…what type of reward is proper for killing…"
"…better call him just in case she…"
The last came from the older woman with the gray braids as she spoke to her husband. Whatever she had said, he seemed to reluctantly agree with as he closed his mouth and nodded his head, making the long pipe bob up and down before me.
I stayed patiently still to get a better sense of where I was, and, if truth be told, locate the most likely avenue of escape if the need arose just as Harry had taught me. Ever notice how often the need seemed to arose… uuhhh… arise? Metaphorically, in the garden that was my life, these 'needs' were the dandelions. They tended to pop up over night and ruined the peacefully beauty and balance I was going for. And they inevitably flung off seeds to create even more trouble down the road.
I looked around and confirmed that I obviously wasn't down at the bottom of a rabbit hole or at the base of the canyon either. I was standing in the middle of a small village that was obviously home to this crowd. It didn't seem touched by rain recently, much less a tornado. And while the residents were short, don't picture their homes as hobbit holes. These were real houses, only sized appropriately to their owners. So for the first time in my life I sort of knew what Godzilla felt like.
The brownies began to chant a rhyme that seemed infused with a trace of magic, but certainly wasn't a hostile spell. They also were all concentrating not on me, but rather at a point on the ground near my feet. I looked there and noted a magical rose plant push itself up out of the dirt and over the space of a few heartbeats grow into a bush two feet around that made me take a bit of a step back and press deeper into the unconscious rabbit's belly. The chanting ten grew more urgent and the stems of the bush budded and then flowered into roses in mere seconds; some of the most beautiful I'd ever seen.
I had the unconscious desire to bend over and see if they smelled as good; in part to honor the ancient wisdom of smelling the roses. But just as I began lowering myself, the plant burst in a red shower of flower petals that flew upward, then magically came together. When this cleared, instead of the bush a red-haired male elf wearing nothing but a snicker stood, and he seemed not at all embarrassed.
I was pretty sure my cheeks immediately gave his hair a run for his money on color. The brownies, however, seemed unfazed by his couture, or lack thereof, and burst into rapid gibberish until he held his hand up for silence and turned to me
"Greetings, Molly Carpenter." He had a coldly polite tone but one that spoke of power and authority. "The villagers of Tupylil have begged me to ask you, on their behalf, if they mean them harm or demand payment for services rendered."
I sensed strong magic in this elf and knew with certainty he was a noble of the Summer Court. His emotions did not read as outright hostile, but more like cautiously wary as he watched me for any signs of danger.
For their part, the Brownies seemed emboldened by the elf lord's presence. Their emotions spoke that they still had their suspicions about me, but now their resolve to see this encounter through had been steeled.
An oddly new small voice inside of me wondered if I could take him; that is if the situation called for it. But that fleeting thought did not linger long, though his eyebrow did rise a bit as if sensing an unspoken challenge.
"I mean no one in this land harm." I tried to sound cordial and polite to rest their fears. If I wanted to ask for their help finding a path home, making enemies would not advance that cause.
"I take it you obviously mean to offer no one else harm."
"What do you mean? I haven't harmed anyone here."
The elf looked skeptically at me. "So we are to believe you rode you your Al Miraj beast into this land and rescued my charges from the attacking hag, not as some protective knight, by rather by purest accident? You are not therefore seeking a reward for your service then?"
"Wait." I was confused. I know it's not an odd state of mind for me but still. I pushed away from the rabbit and found my balance to show my separation from the creature he was referring to. "Rode my what? And rescued who from what?"
The elf continued to stare at me as if looking for deception. "You deny riding this foul beast into this land, even though the crowd observed you on its back?"
"Watch who you are calling foul, Tulip!" The strong and menacing female voice came from behind me, startling and nearly sending me stumbling into the completely naked elf before me. Yeah that would have been awkward on what not to touch to keep from falling.
I spun around to observe the speaker only to catch the last moments of the giant rabbit's transformation into an Unseelie woman slightly taller in height than me. She too was naked, though the black patches of hair I noted on the giant bunny now formed strands of dark hair that served her for both propriety and modesty sake. "At least I do not smell as if I'd bathed in the bathroom of a pleasure house."
Her transformation revealed yet another body of what I assumed to be the remains of the aforementioned 'hag' still lying where she'd been crushed by our arrival. Hags were a rather nasty type of spirit that always took the form of a beautiful woman, for the purpose of causing evil, or breeding with men and afterwards devouring their flesh. Based on her slinky red dress and black shoes with red heels, I'm guessing she was working on the latter. By the way, the true villain in the Hansel and Gretel myth was a green hag, the same variety as the one lying here. I knew from my studies there were also sea hags and other types too, all of which I'd successfully avoided, well until now.
"No you smell only of rutting and rancid meat." The elf seemed offended but disgust was not what I sensed.
The rabbit girl slid around me and reached out to grasp the elf's… uuummm…attention. "You wouldn't want to deny a bunny what comes natural to her now would you?"
Whoa there you two!
"I would." I said causing the rabbit girl to tense up and beam a cold stare at me. The elf might have done the same too except bunny girl's grip tightened and that gave him something completely different to wince and focus on. I kept my eyes up above his chest level.
"You mentioned I was due a reward, correct?" He nodded though his lips seemed strained. "I need a portal back to Chicago, if possible, or at least the Midwest."
He looked me over. "I know of such a place but the walk to get there will be long and dangerous. You will never get there barefoot as you are." I looked down noting that I'd lost my buckle shoes. No big loss cause they hurt like hell, but a long walk barefoot would likely be painful as well.
The elf called up a spell before I even registered the magic. Instead of striking me it flew to the remains of the hag and transferred her shoes to my feet while the elf finished. "The portal should return you to a place called Kansas. I have heard that is near where you desire to be."
Wait!
Kansas…
Red heel shoes…
Green wench killed…
Bunch of little folk…
Carried by a tornado?
Come on! There is no way this could be happening to me again.
Yep. First someone sick and twisted dressed me up as Alice in Wonderland. Now I'm standing here as Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. If I didn't know I was already pretty much crazy, I'd think I'd completely lost it.
"What is going on here?" My eyes went from the elf to the rabbit and back.
They were, however, 'distracted' by their own private conversation. I guess the standards of propriety were a little less strict in Nevernever, for not only did neither of them seem overly concerned by their performance, none of the hundred or so Brownies did either. The little folk just kept standing around gossiping in dozens of conversations I could not follow.
"I'd say that is a fine looking…"
"Of course I'd like your mother to visit…"
"…with ties to both Summer and Winter…"
"…yes, Air Jordans in fact…"
"…flaming monkey poo…"
"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
Wait a minute. If I was Dorothy now and wearing the red heeled shoes, then that should mean…
I clicked the heels together. "There is no place like home."
I clicked them harder a second time. "There is no place like home." I called out louder as I closed my eyes and hoped for the best.
I clicked and ground the heels together a third time to complete the spell. "There is no place like home!" I yelled aloud.
Upon completing my third chant there was nothing but silence surrounding me. I smiled at my success and opened my eyes.
Yep, I opened them only to find about a hundred and two pairs of Fae eyes staring right back at me with mixed looks of confusion, panic, and horror. Well this certainly wasn't Kansas. I hadn't even moved from where I'd been standing.
Stupid magical shoes! This is why none of the White Council specialized in footwear magic!
"It must be a wonderful place for you to make such a vigorous claim." The naked elf said as he pulled himself away from the rabbit. Her equally confused, and slightly annoyed, look explained that I'd ruined the mood. But it was the angry Brownies, especially the pipe smoking elder that my senses were now warning me were the most dangerous.
"Those are a fifteen hundred dollar pair of Willetta Spiked Red Sole Booties by Christian Louboutin." He said with a strong sense of alarm. "Why are you grinding the leather together like that? Do you want to ruin them with scuff marks?" The last part had a tone similar to someone asking if I planned to murder children or skin puppies.
"I was trying to unlock their magic."
The looks of horror only deepened. This time it was his wife who spoke again to me. "Surely human girls have not forgotten the power of the shoe?" Oh God, I'd knocked over their national monument and burned their flag all in one fell swoop! "You must know how a proper pair of trainers will entice a lazy man to chase you while a strong leather boot with a six inch spike heel will make even the bravest warrior cower." Yeah, they took their shoes serious.
"I am sorry goodwife." I apologized to try and calm the situation. "My master, Harry Dresden, taught me to respect such things, but in my current state of concern I forgot my teachings."
She looked me over as her husband squinted through his pipe smoke at me, trying to decide if I was being honest. I help that along with some subtle magical suggestions to forgive and this barely tipped the scales away from murder and down to business.
"Well, take a seat and explain to us your dilemma while my husband Otto undoes the damage you have done." Her words were just shy of a command, and while I could have ignored her, it wasn't worth the long-term effects of alienating otherwise relatively harmless Fae. You never knew when you would need their help, or the help of one of their friends that had heard all about you. Being polite to the little folk was a good rule to follow.
I sat Indian style on the ground and made sure my billowy dress was situated properly before reaching to take off the shoes. Up close I could see their detail much more clearly. They were indeed high quality leather, but they also had rows of small, spiky knobs that gave the shoes a rather distinct 'don't mess with me' character. Thankfully, I hadn't done any serious damage to the shoes with my Dorothy impression, merely dulled the polish a bit.
I tried to take them off but, not surprisingly, they seemed magically attached, just like in the movie. I shrugged a silent apology to the elderly Brownie as he sat down by my feet with a small brush, polish, and a fine cloth that seemingly appeared out of nowhere and began to repair their shine. I then turned to the matron who, along with another hundred or so pairs of ears, waited patiently for me to explain my situation.
"I'm not exactly sure how I got here." I said honestly. "Not long ago I woke up in a field dressed in these clothes that are surely not my style. And when I tried to leave, psycho rabbit chick there tried to skewer me." I pointed accusingly to indecent bunny lady.
She took my pointing and accusation calmly. "You skipped over the part where you sent your manservant to try and kill me. Unfortunately, like my distracted Tulip now, he was not up to the task."
Double entendre much? So not going there!
"For your information, I don't have a manservant…"
"Not any more you don't!" She smiled as she interrupted.
"…and I have no idea who you are so therefore I had reason to kill you…"
"Except for your jealousy of my beauty." She interrupted again.
"…though you're starting to give me one." I smiled back.
She was not intimidated. "All I know is he claimed his powerful mistress sent him to slay me and bring my horn to the meadow so she might use it to cast a spell. He failed, and I went there instead to find out who wanted me dead and found only you."
Fae could not lie, but they could deceive with words and actions, or be deceived as well. It seems whoever was playing a game with me had done so with the rabbit as well.
"Then it appears someone wanted one or the other of us dead." I reasoned.
"Obviously you." She agreed dismissively. "And we can assume that whoever it was also sent the tornado."
I thought about that for a second. That part didn't make sense. The servant who had drugged me was Winter Fae, so if not the one behind it, she likely served the one who was. That would mean the troublemaker was Winter Fae too, most likely. Even the rabbit chick was Winter Fae. There was a strong connection in these three points.
But there are not a whole lot of winter tornados. Winter had blizzards, and arctic winds of hurricane force, but not tornados. Such things are exclusively summer, or at least warm weather, events. That strongly suggested the power at work originated in the Summer Court. And the fact I was sitting in a Summer brownie village supported this as well.
I looked to the elf. "Since we were carried here by a tornado, did you have something to do with all this?" I watched his face, but mostly his emotions for any signs of deception.
"My powers lie in the area of growing things, not weather." That was true. "But, since the death of the Summer Lady Lily, magic in our realm has been a bit more unpredictable. That could be the cause of your tornado. If that is so, for the sake of my plants and charges I hope the new one comes fully into her power soon."
Ok, so Sarissa was facing the same problem as me it seems. That made sense as the two courts were very similar. I wonder if she had to uncover a secret as well, and if so, would it be the same as mine? That was something to consider when I was in more familiar territory.
But just to be certain. "So, you are not responsible for me being in this Wizard of Oz fantasy, correct?" And just to be safe. "And if not you, you also don't know who dragged me into nut house?"
My accusation left only shocked silence in its wake. That shocked silence soon turned to uncomfortable quiet and stares. Then it became really awkward judgmental calm. I'm sorry to admit that I turned away first.
"No, I am not responsible for your arrival, nor is anyone whom I am familiar with." The elf replied coldly, which is pretty impressive for a Summer Fae. "I will be extremely pleased to assist with your immediate departure from this actually quite pleasant village." Not a lot of subtle there.
The brownies were not nearly as reserved, though they chose not to speak directly to me.
"Wow, is she rude or insane?"
"I think the human term is ditzy."
"I thought that meant glamorous."
"You're thinking of ritzy."
"Oh yeah, I like that song."
"Your shoes are repaired." Otto said without a smile of satisfaction at his work. "Now how about you use them to clear out of here?"
I looked down to see the polished shine made the leather look almost like sparkling ru…I mean diamonds, yeah red diamonds. No rubies to see here. Nope, nothing here at all to see. So how about you just keep walking.
Speaking of which….
"Yeah, you should really clear out of here." Another voice added to the chorus. I guess my nut house comment was not found to be endearing.
"Alright so how do I get to this portal back to Kansas?" I tried to ignore the brownies as they continued to chatter and their anger started to smolder louder to my senses.
"The Ritz song?" The original pair engaged in conversation continued while the chant for me to clear out grew in number and volume. "Yes, I remember that one."
"I thought that Ritz was a cracker."
The elf ignored the brownies as well, but the rabbit chick had a wicked smile on her face as if she was enjoying all of this. "I will lead you to your destination." He said in a tone that meant this was not up for debate. "We must pass through dangerous lands and to tell the truth, based on your personality, I am not sure you will survive without aid."
The way the crowd was turning I was not sure I'd survive if I stayed either. Scuff one expensive pair of shoes and use the word nut house and suddenly everybody is thin skinned.
"No, I was talking o the ditz song."
"Clear off! Clear off!" The chant was taking hold in the back of the crowd but getting closer with each repetition.
"I am coming with you as well." The rabbit girl smiled as she enjoyed the show. "I've not been this entertained in years."
Glad I could help.
"I don't remember the ditz song."
"CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF!"
"Follow me." The elf ordered and the crowd of hostile brewing brownies made a gap for him to pass down the brick road.
And, no it wasn't yellow, for those of you who were curious.
It was friggin gold!
Obviously, this is what brownies did with their payment for services rendered. They used it for public works projects; literally!
I followed quickly in the elf's wake with bunny girl bumping up behind me as the gap of angry brownies closed after us.
"CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF!"
"Are they actually going to attack us?" The bunny asked in an amused tone.
I hoped not. I could probably defend myself but the idea of hurting these little folk, even in self defense, did not sit well with me.
"No. It's going to be something much worse." The elf replied as he tried to pick up the pace. I followed calling up some magic to use as a shield.
"What is worse?" She inquired. It seems rabbits have the same curiosity as cats.
"They are going to sing."
"CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF! CLEAR OFF!"
What? Now it was my turn. "Wait, did you say they are going to sing?" Now I was confused, but the concern nearing panic in the elf's emotions was undeniable.
"Yes." He nodded at me over his shoulder as we broke through the crowd and began hurrying down the golden brick pathway. "Brownies can't carry a tune to save their lives, but they still love to sing. It's absolutely horrible to behold!"
Not surprisingly music began to float through the air originating from nowhere and everywhere at the same time.
It was a familiar tune.
OH GOD!
NO!
"Clear off you crazy wizard, the pretty young wizard is odd.
We hear she is a ditz of a wiz, if ever a ditz there was.
If ever, oh ever a ditz there was, this pretty young wizard is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the ridiculous things she does
Clear off you crazy wizard, you ditzy young wizard who's odd…."
ARRRGGGG! I'm never going to get that song out of my head!
I seriously need a brain bleach spell!
"…you ditzy young wizard who's odd…."
Help me please!
I was serious in my begging.
Someone!
Isn't there anyone who could help me?
There was a burst of cold magic, and in a swirl of snow and ice my red leather slippers were no longer standing upon the gold path. Instead I was standing on the side of an ice covered mountain.
I had forgotten about my ability to transport to places of winter cold and ice.
Obviously it worked.
But more shockingly was the large menacing stone fortress that rose right before my eyes. It had that serious 'stay away, bad things happen within' vibe. The storm brewing in the skies above seemed even worse.
Deep down I knew I shouldn't but after the song and all I couldn't stop it from coming out.
"Oh Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore!"