Author's note: It took me a long while. I had to struggle through writer's blocks, Mary-Sues, character strikes and other issues, but here it is…the chapter you've been waiting! Though I am really nervous about this. I never realized how hard it was to get characters to kiss.
Question 1: Daryl kissing scene…ya or nay? Daryl isn't too Oc is he?
Question 2: Rick kissing scene…ya or nay? Rick isn't OC either right? Agh! Self doubt! I'm becoming like Mara!
Question 3:Mara's multiple breakdowns is this chapter wasn't too crazy was it? I'm a little worried she cried too much.
Last Question: Over all chapter ya or nay?
P.S: I got really bored and created a page for Journey Homewards. I figured I could use it to give you guys updates on a chapter's progress. As well as ask important questions like last week's question. Maybe even put up sneak previews or deleted scenes (cause I have a lot of those). So if you're really bored here's the link. JourneyHomewards
~Cassandra
Disclaimer: If I had a magical genie I'd wish to own The Walking Dead. Unfortunately I don't.
Warning: This chapter contains both Dixon germs and Grimes germs…read at your own risk.
"I really shouldn't be drinking this much." Mara said to no one.
Glenn ignored her pouring another shot of vodka in front of her. He shoved it across the table, eyes staring at her expectantly. Mara sighed grabbing the shot only to down it. She shook her head letting out a sharp breath as she slammed it back down. Out of all the liquor she drank, vodka had to be her least favorite. Sure as Glenn was happily finding out, Mara could knock back an outrageous amount and still be able to stand. However that didn't mean she liked the liquid fire feel to it. Or the temporary head spinning that lasted five or ten seconds. "That's amazing." Glenn gawked, "How the hell are you able to do that?"
"I told you. I'm a Grayson, it's in my blood." Mara repeated.
"Ya must be part demon or something, cause I ain't ever seen a person drink like that without at least slurring." Daryl mentioned. The redneck sat on the other side of her. His blue eyes looking over Mara appreciating. Being able to hold your liquor appeared to be a turn on for the man. Or at least Mara took it to be with the way he kept staring at her.
"I'm perfectly human, thank you very much." Mara rejected, sounding insulted.
"You sure about that? Cause I'm with Daryl on this one. I ain't eve seen anyone drink that much in one sitting." T-Dog defended. While Glenn and Daryl sat on each side of her, T-Dog sat across them at the table. He too was enjoying the 'let's get Mara drunk game.' In fact it was surprising his idea to see how she could drink. Mara-Mara was just forced to play.
"Positive. Now my brother Bryon, he's possibly a demon. The man can drink half the bar and walk a straight line." Mara flipped. Okay so maybe the 'let's get Mara drunk' game was working a little. She did tend to get a little more emotional when drunk. At least that's what her brothers claimed. But who really knew for sure seeing how whenever Mara was drunk-they were drunk.
"I can believe it. You've almost finished the whole bottle." T-Dog pointed.
"Booyakasha!" Mara cried, causing everyone to look at her. Alright so she was definitely a tiny bit drunk. She blushed ignoring the three's laughter. Thankfully it was only them catching her making a fool of herself. God help her, if Rick caught her. Mara probably wouldn't be able to look at him for a whole week. "Anyway, I'm bored of you guys trying to get me hammered. Let's play something else."
"Like what?" Glenn asked.
"Don't know. Anything other than this." Mara replied.
Daryl chuckled a little, his arm wrapping around her. Mara blushed feeling both shocked and embarrassed by the contact. It seemed that while Mara became an emotional mess when drunk, Daryl became friendly and amazingly somewhat touchy. Ironically the exact opposite of Daryl Dixon. Still Mara couldn't say she didn't like it. After all her heart was speeding up with that same unknown yet familiar euphoric feeling like before. "It's probably a good idea, China. We don't want Lil' bit's head in the toilet all day tomorrow." Daryl smirked.
Mara gave him an insulted look. "I'll have you know that on the rare occasions I am hung-over, I do not puke. I simply lay on the couch moaning until Bryon creates one of his super alcohol absorbers. "
"Super alcohol absorber?" Glenn asked.
"Basically he takes a hamburger , soaks it in grease, fries it and then feeds it to us. It works shockingly. If ya have a hangover tomorrow I'll make you one." Mara offered.
"I think I'll pass."
"Your lost." Mara shrugged, "So what shall we play?"
Glenn glanced at her for a second before turning to look at T-Dog. A silent message passed between them and soon a smile was appearing on their faces. A bad feeling nipped at the back of Mara's heels. They were plotting something, but what. "Why don't we play truth or dare?" Glenn suggested.
Mara blinked, okay she wasn't expecting that. "Isn't truth and dare kind of juvenile guys?"
"Any adult game I can think of involves alcohol or sex-"
"Okay!" Mara clapped her hands. "Truth and dare it is. And no more alcohol for you, Glenn. You're getting a little too open."
Glenn rolled his eyes. "Only if you start."
"Fine." Mara agreed. "I choose truth."
The guys looked at each other before bursting out laughing. Mara stared at them confused. Had she said something funny? Daryl's arm tightened around her as he continued to laugh. "Ms. Tough-Army plays it safe when it comes to truth and dare." T-Dog chortled, "That's just classic."
Mara rolled her eyes. So maybe there were a few things she still played safe with. But who could really blame her, when she grew up with three brothers. Truth and dare in boys' world was nothing like it was in the girl world. Girls did everything from telling who your crush was to kissing your crush. Her brothers liked to make Mara kick her crush in the nuts or eat dog food. Nothing ever too risk-free came with dare. Whereas truth, well those questions were really just lame ones. Despite their talent of making terrifying dares, her brothers couldn't up come with a good truth for the life of them. "Just ask the question." Mara snapped.
"Alright, alright." Glenn said. "Since it was my idea to play, I'll ask the question…what is the one thing you miss from before the world was destroyed?"
"Dude, that's lame. You have to ask her something more personal, not that twenty questions shit." T-Dog complained.
"It doesn't matter, he can't change it now." Mara replied, grabbing the bottle of vodka. She lifted it to her lips taking a taste of liquid fire. Vodka was Zane's favorite drink. Whiskey was Bryon's. Brandy was Easton's. And Mara, she preferred getting drunk off of her own brothers' happiness. "The answer is my brothers. Out of everything I miss, I miss my brothers. Not technology. Not chocolate or any of that bull shit people talk about missing. I could live without all of that shit, but my brothers….honestly I don't know how I even survived this far without them."
The mood suddenly turned awkward as all three men stared at her concerned. Mara opened her mouth to speak only to taste a wet saltiness. She touched her cheeks shocked. Was she really crying? How did she not notice that? "I'm sorry guys, I'm such a party pooper. But on the bright side you've gotten me drunk. I only cry when I'm drunk according to my brothers " Mara laughed, wiping away more tears, "If you don't mind, I think I'll go back to my room."
"Yeah, no problem." Glenn assured, his eyes still on her worriedly.
"Thanks." Mara mumbled, standing up. She grabbed the bottle off the table. Getting more drunk probably wouldn't help her situation, but to her diluted mind it would. Slowly she exited the room trying to ignore the embarrassment of being caught crying. If her father saw her now, he would only say it proved how useless she was.
It was only until she found herself in the same room Jenner drew blood from, that Mara let herself cry. Luckily Mara wasn't a wailer like most women were. She didn't make noises when crying. No, if anything Mara cried like a man would. All tears and no words. She unscrewed the cap of the Vodka, raising it to her mouth. The alcohol burned, but it was a better pain than what Mara felt right then. Between her acute homesickness and the steadily growing pounding of her vision-to-be, Mara felt like she was going to die. Closing her watery eyes, Mara placed the bottle to her lips. Only this time instead of tasty its fiery burn, she was met with something completely different. A warm calloused hand closing around her hand gently.
Through her blurry vision she could make out the familiar outline of Daryl Dixon. Her mind raced trying to make sense of what was happening. Daryl Dixon followed her-at least she pretty sure he followed her. But why? Was it to make sure she didn't do anything stupid? Or was he there to comfort her? Questions filled her mind as Daryl slowly took the bottle away from her. She gave him a small gloomy smile, tears still welling up in her eyes. A sigh escaped his lips as the pad of his thumb brushed away her tears. "What are you doing?" Mara hiccupped.
"Yer upset. Anyone can see that Lil' bit." Daryl said calmly. "And any idiot can tell ya, that ya shouldn't drink when yer upset."
"Like you don't do it." Mara tried to joke.
"We ain't talkin' about me, Lil' bit. We're talking about you." Daryl replied.
"I wish we weren't." Mara admitted. "I'd like to forget about me for a second and my weakness. I don't want to be me-I want to be someone else right now."
"Well ya ain't. So there's no point in trying." Daryl stated, his thumb still busily wiping away her tears.
"How do you handle it, Daryl? How do you handle Merle being gone? Cause I can't handle it. I can't handle Zane, Bryon, Easton being away from me. I mean I know they're alive somewhere, probably wondering where the hell I am. But Lord only knows if I'll ever see them again. And they were my everything. Bryon stepped up into dad's place. Easton took my mom's. Zane was my best friend. They were all I had." Mara babbled.
Daryl just stared at her. His blue eyes hard yet glimmering with something gentle in them. "Ya wanna know what I think?"
Mara nodded. He brushed away another tear. "I think ya definitely had too much vodka."
She laughed. "Maybe, but that still doesn't change the fact that I can die any day now. From a this disease-malnutrition-some random explosion-and then the obvious, being eaten alive by walkers."
"Ain't nothing going to happen to ya, Lil' bit." Daryl comforted.
"And how would you know that?" Mara mumbled.
Her words caused him to freeze. How could Daryl swear such a thing like that to her? Sure, he could say the obvious: they were safe at the CDC. But how long would all the food really last? More so, despite all his cheeriness Daryl had a feeling everyone's sanctuary wouldn't last. After all, since when did anything good ever last in this world. He stared at Mara. Her dark wavering eyes looking towards him for an answer.
Daryl looked away. This was Rick's job not his. Rick was the one who knew how to console the erratic mood swings of Mara. Not him. Hell Daryl didn't even know where to begin when comforting someone. Living with his asshole father and Merle, his whole life hadn't really schooled Daryl in that category. If anything Daryl learned that crying was for the weak…but Mara wasn't weak. More than once she placed her life at risk for someone else. Never taking a second thought of the danger or stupidity of what she did. Not when someone's life was at stake. It was something Daryl admired greatly about her.
She was strong, but more so she was brave in the face of danger. The girl faced multiple fears of hers if only not to be a burden. And Daryl would be damned if a few tears over lost family, changed his opinion on the matter. Besides he damn nearly lost it when he found about Merle being left behind or even moreover when Daryl found his brother's severed hand. "Yer not going to die, cause I ain't going to let ya Lil' bit." Daryl swore. "As much as ya annoy me and as much as ya piss me off, there's no one else left in this damn world that I can even remotely stand."
Another laugh she escaped her. Mara sniffed, wiping her nose in her sleeve. A smile grew on her face. "Well it's nice to know that you have my back. Even if it's cause I'm the only person you can stand."
"Don't think too much of it, Lil 'bit. This doesn't mean we're friends." Daryl grunted, his eyes looking away.
"Of course not." Mara snorted, but tears still ran down her cheeks.
"God damn it woman, will ya stop crying? I told you would be fine." Daryl snapped.
"I'm trying." Mara snapped back. "It ain't easy to control my emotions when I'm drunk. If y'all didn't force me to play that stupid game, we wouldn't be in this mess. Besides these are tears of joy now. Not cause I'm sad."
"Well how do you make them stop?" Daryl questioned.
Mara gasped, her face contorting into an angry one. "Daryl Dixon, don't you ever ask a woman that again! You are suppose to take her in your arms and hold her. Not demand her to shut off her feelings."
Daryl grunted, running a hand through his dirty hair. He could only thank God Merle wasn't around to see this. There's no telling what that asshole would say to him. Probably mock him about having no balls. Then tell Mara to stop being a whiny bitch-slap her ass and demand her to do something for him. Except…Daryl smiled at the thought…what Merle received wouldn't be what he wanted. Mara would probably knee him in the groin, before telling him that she was a servant to no man. "I ain't doing nothin' Lil' bit. I've already went overbroad here." Daryl muttered.
"And you wonder why more girls don't look at you. You know, Daryl if you let out your sensitive side more often-"
Merle always said there were two ways to shut up a woman. One being a rap to the mouth. Two being to stick something in it. Though Daryl was pretty sure kissing didn't count as sticking something in it. However he was also sure that what Merle had in mind was far beyond anything Daryl was comfortable with. He continued to kiss her, his arms subconsciously finding their way around her waist. In all honesty Daryl didn't know why he hadn't pull back yet. But if Daryl was being even more honest with himself, he didn't care. It had been forever since he came in contact with a woman and Mara-as much as he wanted to deny it, Mara was different. She had a habit of crawling under his skin, where he couldn't pluck her out. And for whatever reason it felt good to have her there.
He pulled back gazing at her. Mara opened her mouth unsure what to say. It would be a lie to say she hated kissing Daryl, cause that was far from the truth. Daryl's kiss had been enthralling just like everything else about him. But he was drunk-scratch that she was drunk and the last thing she wanted was group drama. Or worse for Daryl to wake up tomorrow thinking this whole thing to be a big mistake. "Daryl-" she was cut off by his mouth.
His lips meshed together with hers. Mara froze at the sheer desperation of them-the neediness, but more overly the raw passion and desire of the kiss. She pushed back gazing into his shocked yet lusty blues eyes. Two kisses in one night. And only yesterday, she had never been kissed. So how the hell did this happen? "Daryl, I-" she stopped as sudden wave of pain rushed through her.
She clutched tightly onto his shirt as her sight once again blurred. The vision was finally coming to a head. "I don't care how much of bitch Lori is, no one deserves to be raped." Bryon's voice snapped.
"Dude, we aren't disagreeing with you." Easton muttered.
"Besides she didn't even get raped, she clawed herself way before Shane had the chance to do anything." Zane reminded.
"Still it doesn't matter!" Bryon snapped.
"You're just mad cause Shane used to be your favorite character."
Her vision cleared to a worried Daryl staring at her. His arms gripped her firmly helping Mara to stand. She blinked trying to organize everything that just happened. Daryl kissed her- twice. Then she had the vision and-Lori. Shit. Mara pushed herself way from Daryl running down the hall to find Lori. She only prayed that it wasn't too late. Cause as Bryon said, no woman deserved to go through that. Not even Lori.
It wasn't until Mara was near the rec room did she hear Lori crying for Shane to get off her. Mara felt her blood run cold as she slammed the door open. The noise cause Shane to turn his attention towards Mara. Lori glanced at her with an equally surprised yet terrified look. "Get the hell out of here! Or I'll knock your block off." Shane threatened, moving towards Mara.
Horror swept Lori's face as she tried to push herself in front of Shane. "Shane! Don't do this she's just a kid. Mara, leave we were just-"
"I know what's going on Lori and I ain't leaving without you." Mara stated, standing her ground.
Shane gave her a cocky look. "A what exactly is going on Mara? Huh?"
"Please Shane don't try to weasel your way out of this one. I know exactly what you are-I've been public school."
"And what am I, Mar?"
"A bully. And this girl doesn't do bullies. So I'm going to tell this you once. Whatever fucked up thoughts you have about Lori and you, forget them. She is Rick's wife and between the two of us, I don't think Rick would enjoy hearing about this." Mara gritted out of her teeth.
Shane blinked as her words contacted in his hazy mind. A dark scowl graced his face as he stepped dangerously close to her. "You breath one word of this to Rick, and it'll be your last."
Mara sighed looking down. Typical no one ever took her seriously cause of her size. She glanced at Lori would stood petrified in place. Another sigh escaped Mara as she scratched her head shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. "Alright. If that's what you want." Mara muttered. "You fucking bullies never like to take the easy anyway."
Then before either Lori or Shane could comprehend it, Mara slammed her palm against Shane's groin. He fell hard to his knees, tears welling up in his eyes. Unfortunately Mara wasn't done with him. If there was one thing her family hated more than anything else-it was scum like Shane. So without a second thought Mara tackled him, her knees pinning his arms to the ground while her hands gripped the collar of his shirt crisscrossing them across his neck. Shane coughed struggling to get her off. "You know what this is Shane? This is what the army likes to call a cross collar choke. And I won't lie I'm quite surprise that it's working with your shirt being unbutton. But apparently it does, so it would behoove to listen to me right now. Cause I have no problem choking you out." Mara warned. "If I ever see you put a hand on Lori again, I swear to God I won't stop. Rick's best friend or not-I assure you, your ass will be beat so hard you'll be wishing you were a walker? You understand?! Now I'm going to let you go, but you try anything while getting up, and I'll be break your nose."
True to her word, Mara released Shane moving quickly back into her defensive position. Vaguely she wondered how on Earth she could pull off such incredible feats when someone like Lori was in danger, but could barely defend herself against Merle Dixon. It was a thought to consider later on. Shane rose slowly to his feet, his hand running over the red marks on his neck. There was no doubt that it would be there in the morning. He glared at Mara, but left the room nonetheless. "You okay?" Mara asked turning to Lori.
Lori shook her head. Her hands trembling as they ran through her hair. Loud panicky sobs escaped her. Mara moved towards the poor woman, wrapping her arms around Lori comfortingly. Shockingly Lori accepted her comfort clasping onto her like a child just finding their mother. "Everything is alright now. You're safe. I promise." Mara swore, stroking her hair.
"This is all my fault. This is all my fault. If I hadn't-"
Mara pulled her back forcing Lori to look at her. "This is not your fault. What happened between you and Shane, while Rick was 'dead'…was a mistake. A really bad shitty mistake that I honestly don't approve of-but a mistake nonetheless. That doesn't give Shane the right to attempt to rape you. Nothing does, you understand?"
Lori nodded, staring at Mara. "You know about Shane and I? Cause I honestly thought Rick was dead-if I had known he was alive I would have never-"
"I know Lori. Trust me, I know everything. It's one of the downfalls of seeing the future." Mara admitted.
Lori's face filled up with shame and horror. "You saw us."
"Maybe not saw-more like heard-you know the whispers?" Mara lied.
"You won't tell Rick, will you? Not that I could blame you. I've been a terrible wife."
Mara closed her eyes. Not telling Rick about Lori and Shane felt like going behind his back. And though in all truthfulness, Mara still thought Rick could do ten times better than Lori. However that wasn't her decision, it was Rick's. Furthermore Rick's marriage problems weren't hers to exploit. "I haven't told him yet, what makes you think I'll tell him now." Mara muttered reluctantly.
"Mara, I don't know how-"
"Don't Lori. I already feel like I'm betraying my best friend here." Mara said, "And I already owe him so much for taking me along with him. Rick could have left me to rot on my own back in King's County, but he didn't. He put up with all my weird shit and accepted me for who I am…your husband is a good man, Lori. He is the type of man who puts other's before him and always put his family first. I don't know if you know this, but men like him are hard to find. Especially nowadays. So don't you even think for a second that he isn't up to par with any standard you have."
"You're in love him. Aren't you? You're in love with Rick?" Lori gasped.
"I don't know what I am. But I do know this, he loves you and he loves Carl. The two of you are his world. If anything were to happen to one of you, he'd be devastated. Hell, I'm not even sure he'd be the same again." Mara exclaimed. "Which is exactly why I will do anything in my power to make sure you and Carl are safe. Even if it means fucking dying for you two. So do me a favor, don't be an idiot and try to make things right with Shane. It'll only make things harder for me in the long run."
Lori nodded, wringing her hands together. Mara sighed unsure what to say next. Being mean wasn't Mara's thing. Yeah, she could defend herself from any snarky comments or insult. But when you lived with a father who did nothing but be little you, other people's insult didn't really affect you. "Come on, let's get you back to your room. Carl is probably wondering where his mother is." Mara said softly.
The mother nodded numbly, but Mara didn't really expect anything more of her. No woman could get over something like this in a snap. Heck, Mara was even a little shaky herself and all she did was take Shane down a notch. Though Mara had to confess she was slightly worried about him taking vengeance on her. People like Shane were dangerous, especially when drunk. It wouldn't surprise Mara if Shane tried to come after her sometime during the night. "That's just fucking wonderful, Mara. You're gonna be up all night." Mara muttered to herself. "Maybe you can convince Jenner to give you one of his M-16s."
"What?" Lori croaked.
"Nothing. Just talking to myself." Mara replied giving her a fake smile.
It wasn't long until they were outside the door of the Grimes's room. The rec room was pretty much connected straight to the living quarters. So it was a surprise to Mara, that she was the only who heard Lori's screams. Then again technically this was a TV show, and television barely rarely ever made sense in these aspects. "Mara, thank you-for everything." Lori said, her voice still timid.
"You don't need to thank me, Lori. It what any good person would do." Mara replied.
"Still. What you did-I-"
Mara held a hand up, "Like I said don't worry about it. Now get some rest, I'm going to find Rick for you. I suggest you tell him what happened."
Once again Lori nodded, but Mara knew she wouldn't. Call it victim's shame or whatever, Mara knew Lori wouldn't speak a word of what occurred. Cause if she had there would be no way Shane make it to second season. No matter how good of friends he was with Rick. Mara sighed running a hand through her hair as she began her search. As horrible as it sounded part of her wished she hadn't interfered with Lori and Shane. After all Zane said Lori got away. However that was only for selfish reasons. In saving Lori, Mara gained another issue to add to her 'what the hell is wrong with me' file. Not only did she kiss Daryl and have feeling for Daryl, but now Mara wasn't sure if friendship was the only thing she felt for Rick.
"You're in love him. Aren't you? You're in love with Rick?" Lori gasped.
"I don't know what I am." Mara admitted.
"Nice going Mara. You just told your best friend's wife that you maybe love him. Along with kissing Daryl and having suppose feelings for him as well." Mara muttered leaning against the wall, "Merde. I'm becoming like Bella Swan aren't? A two timing bitch who can't make up her own mind. What next? I'm going to be helpless too?"
"Wouldn't be a surprise seeing how your mother was." A cold familiar voice said.
Mara froze recognizing it instantly. She would know it anywhere. It was the voice that haunted her in dreams every night. The same voice that mocked Mara, her whole life…her father's voice. But how? No it was impossible. She was in a different world for fuck's sake. Fearfully Mara turned around to see the harsh dark eyes of her staring back at her. There in front of her stood her father wearing his same army ACU's as always. Her voice caught in her throat as he moved towards her. His pale face grim like always. "As much as I loved your mother, she was never the most faithful thing was she? Not that I could blame her. Being away from me all the time was probably hard on her weak will. It was on mine." her father stated grimly. "Especially after she died by the hands of her own child."
She looked away trying to ignore the immense figure of her father standing over her. His large build towering over her small frame.. "You're not real. You're just some drunk delusion my mind has come up with." She insisted.
"Just like this whole fake reality you have going on here, Mar? I mean come on! The Walking Dead? It's not even your own idea-it's someone else. If you were going to be a useless piece of crap and go crazy, couldn't you at least come up with something on your own?" her father accused.
"I'm not crazy. Drunk maybe. Scared definitely, but not crazy." Mara murmured.
"Really then how do you explain all this." Her father smirked, gesturing to everything around them.
"Easy. A dream a really long dream. That or I'm in a coma. At which point I'm surprised you even bothered visiting. Then again you would be one to enjoy seeing your daughter lying there with tubes attached to her. In fact I'm surprised you haven't told them to pull the plug yet." Mara laughed ruefully, "After all isn't that what you want? Revenge on me for killing my own mother?"
"That's the thing. I can't think of a better punishment than you being stuck in a never ending nightmare. Watching the people you love die over and over again. Living life in a constant state of fear. Never knowing if you'll survive to the next day. It's almost like actual combat if you think about it. Too bad you never made it through basic." Her father chortled.
Mara felt herself shake with fury. Her hands balled up into fist as her father continued to look at her with a cocky expression. "Come on Angel, don't tell me, you're about to cry." He taunted. "How pitiful."
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Mara yelled pushing him with all her might.
However the person who fell to the ground wasn't her father, but Rick. Mara's eyes widened as she caught the concerned look of the fallen sheriff. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Her mind was working too hard trying to piece together what just happened. She swore her father was there. Swore! Slowly Rick got up his hands raised in surrender as he slowly approached her. Even in his drunken haze, Rick could connect all the dots. "It's alright Mar, it's just me-Rick." He murmured closing in on her.
She shook her head, stepping backwards. "No, it can't be. I saw him-you were him! You were-you were-"
"You're drunk Mara. Drunk and stressed and you've been running on fumes these last few days, it's no surprise you had a nightmare." Rick assured.
"While awake?" Mara cried, running a hand through her hair. "That's it. I'm going crazy just like he said I was."
Rick gripped her shoulders forcing her to look at him. Her dark eyes peered fearfully into his. The sight made Rick angry. He had seen Mara scared plenty of times, but not like this. Never so scared that she was reduced in an almost lifeless doll. Gently he wiped way the falling tears. "You're alright, Mar. You're safe now. We all are." Rick promised, stroking Mara's hair.
"I know." Mara nodded. "I know, Rick. And I'm sorry for pushing you. I really am. I'm just drunk off my rocker-hell only thirty minutes ago I was crying in front of Daryl Dixon."
Rick chuckled slightly but kept his firm grip on Mara. "It's alright Mara. In all honesty I've been wondering when…"
"When I'd lose it?" Mara muttered scornfully.
Rick shook his head. "More like when would everything you insist on keeping locked up come out."
"Well, it just did." Mara said pushing herself away.
Rick grabbed onto her wrist. "Don't do this to me, Mar. Don't try and shut me out. Not after what happened."
"I'm fine, Rick-"
He pulled her towards him. His hand abandoning Mara's wrist to cup her face. "No you're not alright. Seconds ago you thought I was your father. Earlier with Jim, you isolated yourself after telling me about your mother. Then two nights ago with the notebook, you nearly broke down there. So don't tell me, you're okay." Rick paused, " Look I don't think you're crazy, Mara. If that's what you fear."
"If you don't think I'm crazy then what do you think?" Mara murmured.
Rick stared into her dark eyes, his thumb stroking her pale cheeks. A hard lump formed in his throat at the question. What did he think? He didn't think Mara was crazy that's for sure. All outbursts and mood swings she had weren't erratic enough for him to think that. Especially with what little information he knew about her past life. No the knowledge only reassured him of Mara's strength. A sigh escaped him as his thoughts began to jumble up. His heart ached harder and harder his against ribcage, the longer Rick stood there touching her. It was an ache he felt more and more when around Mara. An ache Rick used to feel for Lori at one time. Gently Rick tuck one of Mara's locks behind her ear.
"I think…I think you're a wonderful person Mara. You're loving and optimistic. As well as brave and selfless in the face of danger. You're everything a man could want." His mouth dried at his words. They were true. Every single word of them. But moreover they were true went it came to Rick. "You're everything I could ever want."
Mara blinked at his suddenly admission. "What?"
"I want you Mara." Rick replied softly. "I've wanted you for a while now."
Mara opened her mouth to protest only for Rick to gently capture her lips with his. She felt herself melt into him as they continued to kiss. Their pressing against each other's hungrily yet tenderly. Rick's arms found their way around Mara's waist bringing her closer to him. For a second Mara felt as if she were on fire. As if she drank a whole thing of vodka in one sip, but unlike the liquor this was an exciting burn. It made her heart beat rapidly against her ribcage and her blood surge.
They pulled apart resting their foreheads against one another. Mara could feel her heart slowly calm itself. Her head spun with protests as her body tried to steady itself. This was wrong. So wrong. Rick was married and had a kid. Mara-Mara had kissed Daryl not too long ago. And while admittedly it was Daryl who instigated it, Mara had enjoyed. Just much as she enjoyed kissing Rick. She felt Rick begin to nip at her lips with his, begging for her to kiss him again. Finally he got impatient and pressed another kiss to her mouth. Shamelessly she accepted it, wanting one last feel of the fiery passion before doing perhaps the hardest thing she ever did.
"Rick. Stop. " Mara murmured against his now fervent kisses. He ignored her continuing his attack on her lips. Tenderly she pushed herself away from him. His blue eyes looked at her full of confusion and worry. "This isn't right, Rick. As much as I wish it were. It isn't. You're married to Lori, remember? You love her with every bone in your body. Whereas you and me, we're just friends. Really drunk stupid friends who just did something stupid."
"You're right." Rick muttered, pressing his hand to his lips. This wasn't what he wanted. It couldn't be. He wasn't the type of man to cheat on his wife. Not in a million years- yet here he was locking lips with Mara. A woman he barely knew. Worse yet, Rick couldn't blame the alcohol for all this. Kissing Mara had been on his mind for a while now. Growing the more and more he got to know her, and the more distant he got from Lori. His wife and him just didn't have the same bond they used too. Lori barely trusted Rick and his decisions, let alone try to understand them. But then again…was that really so new?
"I'm going to go to bed, Rick. You should head back to Lori. She was looking for you." Mara lied. Her arms wrapped around herself in almost a protective hug. This night had been just on big clusterfuck as her Drill Sergeants would say. Feelings got out that should have never escaped. Things happened that shouldn't have. Bonds were broken thanks to everything that happened that night.
"You're right. I better go." Rick muttered, "Night Mara."
"Night." Mara said trying to force a smile. She stood there as he passed by her. It wasn't until Mara heard the door close behind her did the tears fall. In the last two hours Mara had cried more than ever in her life. Then again it was also the most she ever been kissed in her life. Two men. Multiple kisses. One night. Her father would call her a whore-he did call her a whore in her mad mind.
She ran a hand through her thick hair turning to head back to her room. There was going to be a lot of drama in the morning. But until then Mara was going to get a good night's sleep. Besides at least this was all thankfully between just her, Daryl and Rick…no one else. Tiredly Mara made her way to her room. Not noticing the pair of dark eyes following her petite form.
Thank you for all your wonderful reviews and votes! I hope this chapter is up to par with your expectations! You are all wonderful!
A. Alice-LaCasse: I know this chapter probably wasn't what you were hoping for, but I do promise you that there will be a lot of confusion and drama coming along soon enough. Especially on Mara's and Rick's part.
Eminemchick19: You are amazing! Delilah nearly made me cry last chapter. And I love Jack! Can I kidnap him?
Guest 22: I love Radioactive by Imagine Dragons, and have to agree when I think Mara-I think Radioactive. In fact whenever I'm stuck writing I play it.
Reverie-scriptor: Agreed. Shane is an asshole. Which is exactly why him and Mara hate each other so much.
Padme4000: I am glad the Daryl/Mara moments don't take away from the story. Since this is a Daryl/OC/Rick, I do have to put in fluff on both sides.
anparker09: I hope this gave you, your fill of Daryl. I have to say he was the main ship in this chapter.
TiraLu: You're little world is so my little world. Lol
Guest: Don't worry like Rick more than Daryl is not a crime in my book. Though I'm truthfully in between.