Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

A/N: I am so sorry that it taken me so long to update this story I've been busy and I've had writers block and a whole bunch of other things.

Dean's POV

Dean looked at the highway and then to his brother, well one of his brothers. He now had 2- well 3 including Adam, but he didn't like to think about Adam who was still in the Cage with Lucifer and Michael. He had made a decision and he didn't like to remember what it had meant for Adam.

Dean's other brother, his older brother, was sitting directly behind him sleeping against the window. Xander had fallen asleep pretty quickly. Dean had felt little bad about making him move when he wasn't completely healed from the crazy stupid spell he and Sam had done to get him out of Purgatory. Dean heart was warmed by the fact that a man that had never met him, voluntarily offered up a good portion of his blood to get him out of Purgatory.

He was struggling with the whole brother idea though, it had always been just him and Sam. Him and Sam against the world... well until Cas came, but a brother, a new one... it was just so hard to wrap his head around. An older brother at that, he was used to being the oldest, even with Adam he had still been the oldest. At least he wasn't the shortest anymore he thought with a small smile. His smile faded as he remembered how he hadn't exactly been very warm towards Xander. He just wasn't sure how to let him into his life. Especially when nearly every person he let into his life had let him down, family especially. Those few who hadn't let him down had died.

Though Xander, unlike Adam was alive, human and a hunter... but was letting him into their lives a good idea for Xander? People hated the Winchesters; demons, hunters, humans, lots of people didn't like them and anyone who got close to the Winchesters got killed. So maybe if they cared for their brother they should push him away...kind of like he had been already doing Dean thought sourly. Only he and Sam didn't exactly have very many people in the world anymore. They had lost Bobby after losing many others, having someone else would be nice but if Dean let him in and Xander died or let Dean down... he couldn't take another person doing that to him. He had lost so many people already.

He was family, he reminded himself and family was everything to Winchesters. Yeah, which was why everything was able to get to them and manipulate them. Was adding another something that could be used to manipulate them a good idea? Dean wanted to growl in frustration but bit it back, he didn't want Sam to know what kind of thoughts were swimming around in his head. He stared resolutely at the road trying to think of anything else other than his new brother sleeping in the back seat.

He was unsuccessful especially since Sam was also leaning against the passenger's side door in the process of falling asleep. Which reminded him that Sam hadn't really slept much last night. He had fainted for about 15 minutes and then stayed up the rest of the night watching over Xander. Dean knew that Sam had already established a tentative bond with Xander, which in the rare moments he was able to get over his jealousy of, he was grateful that Sam had someone who seemed to care about him. Of course Sam's closeness to Xander made it difficult. Even if he wanted to protect Xander from the dangers of being closely associated with them, he doubted Sam would be willing to just leave him. Even if it was for his safety and he couldn't even use the excuse that Xander didn't know about the supernatural.

The real fact of the matter was that Xander was blood, a son of his father, he looked a lot like him too. Xander had the same dark hair that neither him, Sam or even Adam had inherited. Although he was a bit shorter, he smiled again. The fact of the matter was Sam wasn't going to let him go anytime soon, so he was just going to have to let him in and fight anything that wanted to take Xander away tooth and nail.

That would be the easy part. The harder part would be opening himself up to Xander. Talking to him, finding out about him, and telling him about their Dad. Because the guy probably had questions, but that sure as hell wasn't going to be easy to talk about. It had been years since his father had died, but it still hurt. However they were blood and he had to try. He was sure that if his Dad was looking down or up or wherever he was at, he would want him to watch over his oldest son. The son that his father had never even known he had. Dean sighed and swore to his Dad silently that he would try.

~.~

Xander woke up leaned against the window as the car slowed to a stop. He opened his eyes and found they were at a gas station. Sam was in the passenger's seat and Dean was nowhere to be seen, so he assumed he was in the gas station. Xander wiped the drool of his chin and yawned a little, as he yawned Sam looked back at him.

"How long did I sleep?" Xander asked.

"About 4 hours." Xander nodded, he was hungry and for more than the granola bars he had in the trunk. Xander opened his door letting the smell of gas station hot dogs, pizza and other hot food waft towards him. He stepped towards the food and in the process brushed past Dean who was on his way out sporting a hot dog of his own, he nodded to Dean.

"I'll be there in a minute." Dean nodded after a moment back at him and turned to go the car. Xander went straight to the hot foods and picked himself up a cheesy slice of pizza, paid for it and brought it back to the car and got in the back again. Dean turned the key and they started off.

~.~

It had been an hour and there hadn't been a whole lot of talking. Xander wasn't sure what to say and while Sam had tried to start a conversation a few times it kept dying off.

"So the hellmouth." Xander was surprised that it was Dean talking since Dean had kind of been avoiding him.

"Yeah." Xander said shortly.

"You grew up in this stuff too." Dean said. Xander nodded then realized since Dean was driving he had to give a verbal answer as well.

"Yeah." he said aloud again "hellmouth vampires, witches and even some zombies."

"Yeah Zombies aren't fun." Dean said shortly.

"You've dealt with zombies too?" there was a long pause and Sam eventually answered.

"Yeah." Xander had a feeling there was personal story behind that 'yeah' but he didn't press.

"So what about your parents?" Sam asked after another long pause. Xander swallowed, remembering his mother's death again. He waited to talk until he could make his voice steady.

"They're dead." he said shortly. Sam looked at him sympathetically.

"I'm sorry."Dean echoed his sentiments. Xander nodded. It still hadn't been terribly long since his mom's death and he'd been pretty much going nonstop since then. What would happen after they found his brother's angel friend? Would he have to stop repressing and actually really deal with his mother's death? What about his brothers? After they found Cas would they leave him and never talk to him again? Or just talk on holidays like some families did? He shook his head attempting to clear his thoughts from his head. Whatever happened with the Winchesters would happen, and even if it didn't go well he still had a family even if they weren't blood. His thoughts weren't as reassuring as he wished they would be.

~.~

Dean looked at Xander in his rearview mirror. From the look in Xander's eyes he knew that the loss was recent. He probably wouldn't be able to tell if he didn't make a living doing what he did... not that he actually got paid. This was way too depressing and it needed some levity. Good thing he was good at that especially if it was at Sam's expense.

"Hey Xander did you know that Sam is afraid of clowns." Sam glared at him from the passenger's seat.

"Yeah and Dean's afraid of flying." he knew that was coming, so he made his face remain impassive which only riled Sam that much more. But Dean was no longer looking at Sam but to Xander who smiled slightly.

"I used to fear clowns too until a sleeping kid made all our nightmares real and I punched the clown in the face...it was very therapeutic." Dean frowned for a second working through what Xander said. He remembered that Xander had grown up on the Hellmouth, a very scary place, the kind of place where nightmares could come true. He glanced at Sam again, his nightmares when they didn't revolve around hell or hellhounds were most of the time about losing Sam again or reliving his death, and he knew that Sam's nightmares often were the same. Hell, or losing Dean, he knew that because of the many times he had woken up to the sound of his name being screamed in agony.

Dean blinked trying to brush those memories away. Levity, he needed levity for all their sakes. Although apparently he couldn't use Sam's fear since Xander had or used to have a similar fear so he wouldn't find it nearly as funny as he did. He grinned. Well at least that fear.

"Xander, how do you feel about midgets?"

Review please :)

A/N: I just wanted to let you know that I've made a story in which Xander, Dean, Sam and Adam all grew up in the same house and it's called We are Family and it should be up by the time that this is up.