Hey Guys! So as you can tell I've been a little behind in my writing so I'll probably only be posting on Mondays now. School is just getting really busy and I've had so much to do. I've been so happy to see all the reviews you guys are leaving and all the followers this story is gaining! Keep it up and I promise not to disappoint. I'll cut this intro short since you've all been waiting so patiently for this update :) Go for it.
We make our way out to the parking lot and I feel as my anxieties begin to peak. I thought I had gotten over my fear of car rides but now as my breath keeps catching in my throat I highly doubt that is the case. I try to calm myself down without Hayden noticing anything is off. I'm only a tiny bit calmer when we reach his parking spot.
"Nice car." I comment cooly as Hayden walks me around to the passenger side opening the door like a gentleman.
"She's a beaut." He chuckles pretending to polish off his white Audi. He walks back around to the other side before sliding into the car. He gives me a sly smile before starting up the engine.
"How is it that you managed to get out of school today?" I ask trying to make conversation to get my mind off of how dangerously fast this vehicle has the ability to move.
"It's a private school, a year round private school I forgot to mention. Our breaks our different." I nod in response. I watch out the window as we slowly pull out of the lot but as soon as he hits the highway Hayden's speed picks up dramatically or maybe it's just me.
I feel my breathing grow fast and my nails are digging into the palms of my hands trying to give me something to focus on rather than the little number on the dashboard that just seems to keep going up and up.
"You okay over there Bee?" Hayden's voice snaps me from my thoughts.
"Yeah!" I start. "Why?"
"You just look like you were having a panic attack or something." Hayden gives a small laugh and I know that he is joking, there's no possible way he can know what's truly going through my mind.
"Haha no. I just had one of those moments when you feel like you can't find your phone." I cover up my lie with a laugh. "But, how far exactly is the place." Hayden gives me a look but he's still smiling.
"I'm not telling you where-"
"I knowww." I whine. He laughs before answering reluctantly.
"No more than ten minutes." I let out a silent sigh of relief and settle back into the chair. Hayden begins to hum along to the song on the radio and I watch him with a smile on my face. "Do you sing?" He asks.
"No." The lie slips out instinctively making me feel a little sad. I remember back to singing with Jordi how there were no insecurities and nothing held back unlike now I'm trying so hard to make sure I don't give Hayden anything that would make him like me less. I daze out the window with Hayden's soft mediocre voice in the background.
Jordi POV
After I put Bee's flowers into a vase, taking extra care to make them look nice, I gently take a seat on her bed. I don't understand why I even try, she's with Hayden now so why do I care that her flowers look nice. I should stomp them beneath my feet not arrange them to look just the right way.
Without thinking I reach into Bee's pillow case and pull out the frame she keeps hidden in there. I stare long and hard at it. Does Hayden even know her whole story? Knowing Bee she's probably kept it on the down low just like she did with us. It makes me worried that he won't know how to take care of her properly. I would know.
I know how she loves vanilla ice cream and it's her panacea despite how hard she'll try to deny it. I know she hates her therapy sessions with Dr. Heart more than anything in the whole world. I know she's always tried to be the pretty popular girl but deep down all she's ever wanted was to be successful. That was just Bee, she's ambitious and she won't let a disease as nonthreatening as Depression keep her from what she wants.
That's the other thing about Bee. She's never been able to grasp the concept that she's important, and that she does have a real problem. To her it's just a title, something she can easily discard and prove wrong but it's not. I've almost lost her because of that mindset she holds so near and dear to her heart.
"Jordi." I hear a voice behind me. I turn to see Emma in the doorway. "What are you doing here?" She asks entering cautiously.
I look at her, this girl I used to have feelings for but who ended up with another guy, just like Bee. I feel my eyes begin to well up and a lump grow in my throat. I can't help it but I choke out a sob.
"I miss her." I shake biting my knuckle to try and quiet the strangled cries wanting to come out of me. I can feel Emma's hesitation before she sits down beside me and wraps her arms around. I cry into her like a baby until I feel nothing but numbness throughout my entire body. Without saying another word I get up and leave.
Bee's POV
"The aquarium?" I ask as we pull into a parking garage adjacent to the big glass building.
"Yup, I was going to take you to the movies and like a late lunch afterwards but Jackson said that the movies would be too much stimuli and that you had a meeting with Dr. Grace later anyway so we decided against it. Is that okay?" He gives me a sheepish smile and I let out a small giggle.
"Absolutely, besides I've been on way too many dinner-movie dates anyway." We park and again Hayden opens my door before taking my hand in his and leading us up out of the garage.
We wander around the aquarium a bit just taking in the different attractions and talking about stupid things. We almost pass the penguin exhibit but I stop dead in my tracks and drag him back to the small set of seats in front of the glass enclosure.
"Penguins?" He laughs and I nod taking a seat beside him. I watch as a few dive into the water in sync almost like they were racing to see who would hit the water first. There are a few more off on the ice waddling around each other without exactly leaving the group.
"They're neat aren't they?" I speak up. I feel Hayden shrug.
"Neat, sure, but a little sad if you ask me." He states and I give him a look.
"Sad?" I ask.
"Yeah, I mean look at them. They are categorized as birds but yet, they can't fly, and they are located in a place completely isolated from any other birds. It's sad, it's like they are all alone."
"They're not alone." I feel myself counter without much thought. "They have each other. Sure they are different and you're right in the fact they are in their own little world but in that little world things are normal for them. Just because they look different and live in a different place doesn't make them not birds." I finish confidently. Whereas I feel like I should receive an award for my speech Hayden just gives me a little bit of a smirk and a pat on the knee.
"You're so creative." He laughs and I force myself to give him a tight smile. I don't know why but for some odd reason I feel really connected to these birds...
Jordi's POV
I storm to my room and I'm instantly disappointed Leo's in there.
"Hey man, what's up?" He glances up from his phone.
"Nothing." I grumble snatching up my guitar without even glancing his way.
"Woah, are you okay?" He starts sitting up straighter and giving me a concerned look. I just sling my guitar over my shoulder and leave as quickly as I came.
I find myself absentmindedly walking the familiar route towards the doctors lounge without even caring who saw me. Once in there I push open the door that leads outside and carefully jog down the path to the creek. When I finally reach it I collapse onto a bench. I want to cry again but I'm still faced with numbness. I pull guitar around in front of me and place my hand on familiar chords.
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven...even...no
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you,
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces…
Bee's POV
Hayden and I wander around the aquarium a little more. I'm not going to say I didn't have fun, it was actually one of the most creative dates I've ever been on, it's just something's a little off putting being here with Hayden and I can't shake Jordi from my. For the 5th time in the past 10 minutes his phone dings and he pulls it out.
"Who is it?" I ask. I don't mean to but anymore I have no control of what comes out of my mouth.
"My mom. She's saying that Hunter may be coming home today." He reads from his phone. I fake my enthusiasm but inside I feel a pang of sadness.
"That's great Hayden!" I smile but he doesn't. He gives me a despondent "yeah" before putting his phone on silent and sliding it back into his pocket. He glances down at his watch before giving me a worried look.
"We have fifteen minutes before you need to be back at the hospital." He states.
"Oh crap." I exclaim. "We better hurry." We race out of the aquarium and towards his car. This time we are so rushed he doesn't bother to open my side of the door but instead I swing it open myself and hop in. It took us about 10 minutes to get here and currently we have about 8 to get back. Whatever anxiety I had before quadruples at the idea of speeding through busy LA streets.
My breathing begins to speed up as images flash across my memory from the night of the accident. I feel my vision begin to blur and black spots dot across my vision. I reach over to grab Hayden's arm trying to get his attention but everything goes black.
Not too shabby eh? Haha well on that dramatic note I would like to remind everyone to review and that once we hit 50 reviews I will be posting a page from Bee's "journal" answering questions sent in by you guys! These could be anything ranging from what is your favorite song to who do you like more Hayden or Jordi. Get creative with it!
I would like to give super duper shout outs to xoElle23 , sadboyplanet , percyjacksonforevah , Guest, and Allie Shimoni. You all have such creative, funny and down right awesome reviews and I love rereading them over and over again! You guys are the thanks for all your love and support 3
Lots of Love -Britt