Author's note: Yeah an update! This is really a just a filler chapter. The real action with commence next chapter. Anyway I am sorry, but I am curious as to how many people are still actually reading this. I know I haven't been real consisted with chapters, but in my defense I am in college and that takes up most of my time. So if you would be kind enough to review and let me know you're still reading, that would be great. Otherwise, I'm going to work on something else. Don't mean to sound like bitch, but I know stories go stale after a while and I just want to check and see if mine isn't one of those.
Highlight: If I get at least ten reviews before Wednesday, I will totally make sure to have the next chapter out by Saturday. And spoiler alert there will be a special surprise next chapter.
~Cassandra
Disclaimer: If I owned The Waling Dead, I wouldn't have planned tonight around the first episode of season four.
After hours of searching for Sophia, Daryl and Rick decided it was time to head back. It would be night soon, making the woods even more dangerous than they already were. While Mara was hesitant to stop searching for the poor girl, the men were right. They were no good to Sophia or anyone else dead. Furthermore, there was nothing Mara could do on her own in these woods. Obviously she couldn't separate and go looking for Sophia on her own, seeing how she got lost earlier that day. Plus Kindness was the only weapon Mara had, and using her would only put everyone in a worse position. That still didn't stop her from feeling guilty upon seeing Carol standing there watching.
"You didn't find her." Carol whispered, looking ready to pass out. Mara closed her eyes trying to ignore the gut wrenching guilt building up inside her. She couldn't imagine what Carol was going through. To lose a child…must be the worst feeling in the world. From what she could remember, the first thing her mother worried about when she woke up in the hospital was about Mara. Even after going through that painful lung transplant and all the other operations needed to keep her mother alive, Mara's name was still the first thing to come out of her mother's mouth.
"Her trail went cold." Rick replied, his face reflecting how Mara felt. "We'll pick it up again at first light."
"You can't leave my daughter out there on her own. To spend the night alone in the woods. " Carol pleaded, near sobbing. She shook her head, her body drawing into itself.
"Out in the dark's no good." Daryl backed. The gentleness in his voice surprised Mara. She knew Daryl wasn't as unsociable and unkind as everyone thought, but even Mara did know his voice could be that soft. "We'd be tripping over ourselves. More people get lost."
"But she's twelve, she can't be out there on her own. You didn't find anything? At least see something in one of Mara's visions?" Carol begged, turning towards Mara and Rick.
"I know this is hard. But I'm asking you not to panic." Rick stated, his hands up in attempts to emphasis himself. "We know she was out there-"
" And we tracked her for a while." Daryl informed, moving closer to them.
Rick nodded, looking around hurriedly for support. "We have to make this an organized effort. Daryl knows the woods better than anybody. I've asked him to oversee this."
Mara gave Daryl's arm a quick squeeze of acknowledgement at Rick's words. It was true, if anyone could find Sophia, it would be Daryl. Unfortunately Carol's attention was drawn by something a lot less reassuring. "Is that blood?" she asked, fearfully eyeing Daryl.
Daryl glanced down at himself as if having forgotten all about the blood on him. Then again there was probably at least several other layers of grime covering him. One more probably wasn't worth noticing. Fast paced breathed began to escape Carol as she waited for the answer. Behind her, Lori wrapped a protective around the woman's shoulder. Yet again, Mara couldn't help, but think of her own mother. "It's not hers." Mara assured, speaking for the first time.
Carol's eyes flickered over to her then Rick for reassurance. He nodded grimly. "We took down a walker."
"A walker? Oh my God." Carol gasped, immediately expecting the worse.
"There was no sign that it was anywhere near Sophia." Rick quickly assured.
However his assurance was quickly shot to hell thanks to Andrea piping up suddenly. "How can you know that?"
Mara shot the woman a glare, trying hard not to lose her cool. Even if Mara didn't appreciate the lack of faith in Rick, Andrea had a right to question him and it was silly to get upset over it. Then again was Mara really upset over Andrea's question or that fact they didn't Sophia back. Rick sent her a questioning glance before look towards Daryl. It was obvious that he didn't wanted to be the one to tell everyone about their little dissection. "We cut the son of a bitch open, made sure." Daryl answered smoothly.
"We found a woodchuck in him, nothing else." Mara added, softly.
The mother nodded, an expression of relief and hopelessness on her face. Slowly she lowered herself into a sitting position on the highway railing. Lori took a seat next to her, ready to comfort the woman when needed. "How could you just leave her out there to begin with?" Carol spat at Rick. "How could you just leave her?!"
Guilt filled Rick's face, causing a surge of protectiveness in Mara. While Mara knew that she'd never understand what Carol was going through, the woman was being unfair. Her daughter ran off into the woods, because she was being chased by two walkers. Upon seeing it, Rick ran after Sophia to save her. He was the only out of everyone in the camp to go after Sophia. And although his plan didn't work out, Carol had no right to put the blame solely on Rick. Not when she as a mother was supposed to be watching her child, so such things didn't occur. Mara opened her mouth to defend Rick, but Daryl placed a hand on her shoulder.
She glanced up at him, reading the expression on his face. Although he wanted to help find Sophia and planned to help find Sophia, Daryl had no desire to be involved in any of the politics or relations of the groups. Nor did he want Mara to be either. "Those two walkers were on us. I had to draw them off. It was her best chance." Rick tried to justify.
"Sounds like he didn't have a choice Carol." Shane murmured to the woman.
"One walker is hard enough to take on without a gun." Mara agreed softly.
But understandably it wasn't enough for Carol. Sophia was gone and no one could ever guarantee her return. "How was she suppose to find her way back on her own? She's just a child. She's just a child." Carol sobbed, finally breaking down.
Rick was now on his knees as if begging for forgiveness. The look on his face telling Mara that he was not only try to justify his actions to everyone else, but himself as well. No one could put more blame on Rick than the amount he was putting on himself. "It was my only options, the only choice I could make" Rick repeated.
A dark look of blame burned in Lori's eyes as she looked at him. From behind Shane muttered some assuring words that didn't sound an ounce believable. Everyone blamed him, for Sophia's disappearance-even his own wife, but worse yet, Rick blamed himself. He shouldn't have left Sophia there like that. He should have found another way. How could he have been so stupid? "Enough." Mara said, drawing eyes towards her. "Rick made a mistake. He was under pressure and had to make a quick call to try to save Sophia. One, that didn't work out as he planned, but this all can't be put on him. Besides you are all acting as if we know for sure that Sophia is dead-which we don't. For all we know, she could be out there eating wild raspberries or something."
Carol let out another sob, causing Lori to send Mara a dark glare of her own. To which Mara ignored. She had sympathy towards Carol and would traded places with Sophia in a heartbeat, but Mara refused to be another person sticking a knife into Rick's back. "My little girl got left in the woods." Carol sobbed, one last time.
It was all the last straw for Rick. He stood up glancing once more around him at the accusing looks, before heading off to clear his head. There had to be something they overlooked when trying to find Sophia. Had to be- "Slow down, Rick!" Mara's voice came from behind.
Reluctantly he stopped, although Rick was tempted to keep walking. However Rick knew that wouldn't stop Mara from following him. He turned to look at her, guilt setting in as he prepared himself for Mara's accusations. Sure, she made that speech about this not being his fault. But how could he expect her to really mean it, if his own wife blamed him. "Rick…" Mara murmured, moving towards him.
"Please Mar, I don't want any company. I need to clear my head right now-"
"You mean obsess about everything that happened from the moment you killed those walkers to now?" Mara restated, giving him a knowingly look.
He blinked surprised. It had been a while since Mara was able to read his thoughts so thoroughly. When they had first met she had done it all the time, but as time progressed and her visions worsen, she stopped. "I thought we were done with you reading my mind." He stated, giving her a tired look.
"I don't read minds, Rick. You're just easy to read."
"Could've fooled me."
"Like I said it's not my fault, it's yours for being so predictable."
His jaw tightened slightly as he turned to look away from Mara.' Fault' there it was again. That won fucking word, Rick just couldn't seem to escape. It was his fault. Sophia was missing, because he was too fucking stupid to think of a better plan. "What isn't my fault nowadays?" he muttered more to himself than anyone.
"Sophia missing." Mara answered, surprising him.
He gawked at her in disbelief. "How is that not my fault? I was the one who left Sophia there. The one who told her to head back if I didn't return. No one else."
"Exactly." Mara snapped, her eyes soften slightly. "No one else went to save Sophia, but you. You ran after her with no guards for anything but her safety. And then you did what you thought was best to protect her, even if it meant you didn't return. So don't you dare think badly of yourself, or else I'll….I'll kick your ass!"
An actual chuckle escape the officer as the smaller woman gave him, her best fierce look. Though in reality, Rick knew how scary a pissed off Mara was. As hard as it was to believe Mara was quite terrifying when angry. In fact, if it was for how terrifying Mara was back in Atlanta, Rick didn't think they'd be able to rescue Glenn. "I'll try, but no promises." Rick agreed, moving to stand besides her. "Besides you forget, you ran after her too."
"And I wounded up getting myself lost doing so." Mara retorted. "Being an idiot doesn't count for much you know?"
He stared out into the woods, contemplating everything and anything….Sophia…the walkers…his role as leader…his wife…Mara. From the corner of his eyes, he glanced over at the dark haired woman. They had only known each for a week, yet the woman was loyal to him as a dog. Sure, there were times where Mara disagreed with his decisions, but never did she blame him. Not like the others did at least. Mara never accused him with such hating eyes. If anything she simply reminded him that he was human, and humans made mistakes. Words that meant everything to him, especially when everyone was against him. "I'll never understand how you still side with me, after I choose everyone else over you." Rick mentioned, alluding to the CDC incident.
Mara had seen the CDC blowing up in a vision, and warned everyone about. However instead of listening and packing up, everyone shunned her. Even him, who knew better than to doubt her visions. Thankfully though Dale noticed the clock counting down to decontamination and though it was a close call, they all made it out alive. Rick and Mara's friendship being the only real thing damaged in the explosion. Not that he could blame Mara for wanting nothing to do with him. He was suppose to be her best friend, the only one within the group who she could trust. Instead Rick turned his back, because of some drunken kiss that made him feel disloyal to Lori. A kiss that Mara didn't even remember.
She shrugged, sparing him a glance. "Two wrongs don't make a right. Besides you saved me more times than I can count. So let's just say you have more points for you than against you."
"Still…" Rick muttered placing a hand on hers. She glanced up at him, dark eyes filled with something Rick couldn't place. "I never really officially apologized for it-"
"There's no need." Mara insisted. "Just don't do it again or next time, I will leave."
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