Hey Guys! This is one of my absolute favorite chapters and I wanted to be sure to update before I left for vacation! I hope you all love this as much as I do! ;)
"That was incredible, what you did today." Jordi tells me.
"Mhm." I mumble. We are sitting in the Swamp, aka Jordi and Leo's room. Jordi is sitting on his bed strumming absently at his guitar while I sit on the couch, facing toward the window. I hear as he gets up from his seat and walks over.
"You okay?" He asks, gently sliding down beside me. I hear him but at the same time I don't. "Bee." He says again snapping my attention to him.
"Yeah, sorry." I murmur shaking my head. He gathers me in his arms and sits me in his lap so I have to look at him and not the lulling view of the parking lot outside. He doesn't say anything, just gives me a look.
I don't even know how to reply to his silence. How can you talk about the emotions that follow you after basically saving someone from doing something you've attempted not only once, but twice. I've never typically liked hypocrites, yet here I am. The biggest Hippo of the Crite is sitting right here in the Swamp. How freaking ironic.
That voice on the roof telling the man, whose name I later found out was Dakota Roshal, not to jump, that wasn't me. That was voices of everyone who's warned me, or told me the wrongdoing of my actions. If it were truly me, I would've told him to jump before anyone could stop him.
The question is; Who am I?
It's amazing how much I've changed, sad really. However despite my optimistic past, it's not hard for me to understand why I did the things that I did. The loss of almost all of my immediate family still haunts me, no matter how much counselling I receive, I'll never be able to overcome the amount of grief I feel everyday.
They say that people going through struggles like I am are strong for their ability to overcome such strong emotions. Where in reality the only reason someone like me is strong is by pushing everything I feel away and only letting surface the happy and "normal" emotions.
I sigh out loud and Jordi kisses my cheek. "What's the matter Bee?" He asks again. "You've left without me." He chuckles but I do not.
"Sorry Jordi," I say quietly. "I'm just lost in my head I guess."
"Well climb out of there, it's dangerous." He jokes hugging me closer. How true he is.
"I'm tired." I spit out and he pulls away to look at me.
"You can take a nap in my bed if you don't want to walk all the way back to your room." He says but I shrug.
"I-I. I just need to be alone for a bit." I get up, haphazardly pulling him off of me before stumbling out of the room.
I'm distracted as I walk the halls back to my room. Faces all just seem to blur into little dots. When I reach my room though, there's one face that is shockingly clear.
"No, nope. Nope, nope, nope." I say turning my back to my room in fear, running my hands through my hair trying to shake myself from this daze I'm in. I squint my eyes shut. Maybe I'm just seeing things.
"Bee." I hear her voice, oh God, now I know it's her. My heart aches.
"No." I project again. "You're not real."
"Bee, just open your eyes already." The voice says again. How did she get in front of me? I slowly peel my eyes open and can't seem to catch my breath when I see her.
"Claire." I whisper and she smirks.
"Duh. Gee I knew you were suicidal but I never figured you to be stupid too." I find myself gawking at her jibe before grabbing her wrist, yes I can actually touch her, and pulling her into my room, slamming the door shut.
"What the fuck?" I stare at her. "This can't be happening. There's no way. Something's wrong with me, I need to go get Nurse Jackson." I quickly make my way back over to the door.
"Bee, wait!" I hear Claire shout and I stop dead in my tracks. She's doing something that's holding me in place. "There's nothing wrong with you, you're fine."
"Pretty sure people who are fine don't see ghosts!" I shout back and Claire just laughs.
"Exactly, that's why you're not seeing a ghost. You're seeing," She clears her throat before her voice changes completely. "Alex Narvaez." She gives me her best flirty wink before falling back onto my bed laughing.
"Who ever you are you better start explaining right now before I get one of the orderlies in here to escort you out!" I demand crossing my arms. Claire, or Alex, whoever she is just groans.
"Okay, come pop a squat and let grandma Claire tell you all about angels." She laughs patting a spot on the bed next to her. For a second I believe it's her, that's such a comment that Claire would make. Instead of joking back with her though I just cautiously make my way over.
"See you took down all those decorations that Hayden guy made for you." She remarks waiting for me to get settled. "Good, I didn't like him." My eyes go wide, how did she know about that?
"Start talking, now." I object and she holds up her hands defensively.
"Okay, okay." She murmurs. "Now how do I start."
"I don't care but you have about 10 seconds to figure it out." I remark and she glares at me.
"Gee Bee, you're so impatient. Fine, alright. So obviously I died right?" She says and I nod. "And now obviously I'm here. How? Well do you remember in all those movies we used to watch where like the ghost would come back to the mourning parent or cousin or in this case, twin sister, and basically just be all like 'oh this is not your fault' yada yada yada. Well yeah, that's basically what they sent me to do, since you are such a basket case right now and only know how to play the pity card in the game of poker that is life."
"Woah." I stop her. "First of all, I'm not a basket case. Second of all, I've always been wayyyy better at poker than you - er - I mean Claire. Third, this doesn't make any sense, who the heck is Alex Narvaez?" The girl snaps her finger.
"Oh yeah, that part. Okay well the only way that the people upstairs could get me to you was by putting me in the hospital. They want me to like keep a close eye on you and stuff but still be able to interact with others to see how your recovery is going on a personal basis and see if you are forming healthy . So they created Alex Narvaez. To everyone else I am a young Latino, slightly Italian, American girl who burnt her hands badly on the kitchen stove cooking stir fry." She laughs. "Great back story right?"
"But you're not Latino at all." I can't help but laugh back. "Maybe a little Italian, but the stir fry part is totally believable."
"Hey, maybe I wanted to practice my Spanish a little." She argues.
"You suck at Spanish." I tease.
"Oh yeah Punta?" She smirks.
"Okay now you just called me a bitch." I remark. "Get back to your story. How come I know you're Claire?"
"That's because only you can see who I truly am. Pretty cool right?"
"Pretty cool?" I repeat. "This is amazing! I'm sure Alex has a family and we can become best friends and stuff and then I don't have to go live with Tante Tess I can just live with you! It'll be like you never died in the first place! This is awesome!" I grab her hands excitedly but her face falls.
"No Bee," She says sadly. "We can't do any of that."
"Why not?" I argue, a knot growing in my chest.
"Bee," She begins softly. "I'm not sticking around. I can't. I was sent here on a mission and once that's finished, I'll have to go back." Angry tears sting in my eyes.
"So I finally get my sister back before she's ripped away from me again?" I shout getting up. "How do you think that makes me feel? Having to suffer the loss of you not only once but TWICE?"
"Calm down." She tells me. "I'm here to make the pain of me leaving not so painful. My job is to make you feel better about the situation, not to cause you more grief."
"Well then you already failed Claire! There! Does that mean you can stay longer? Or are you going to leave me just like you did that night at the crash?" I stare at her hard before tears brim over my eyes. My body shakes with sobs as I run out of the room.
"Phoebe!" Claire shouts after me, I can hear the pain in her voice but when I glance back behind me she's gone. I try and catch my breath, fanning at my face hoping to dry the tears that leaked out onto my cheeks. I've become a pro at hiding meltdowns. Unfortunately I still have the habit of not watching where I'm going.
"Sorry," I say after I bump into someone.
"New Girl," Hunter smiles. "Haven't seen you around in a while."
"Hunter, I'm not new anymore. I've been here for like over 3 weeks." I sigh.
"Well you are the last one to come as of currently, so that makes you honary New Girl. Until you know, someone new comes along." He remarks with a flirty half smile. I don't take it personally, I've just come to accept he's naturally a flirt.
"Well thanks." I finish turning to walk away.
"Hold on one second there." He says softly grabbing my arm. I shake him loose before turning back around to face him. I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow. "I know a tear soaked face when I see one." His voice softens and his eyes change from flirtatious to concerned. "What's up New Girl?"
"Just, family stuff." I shake my head. I couldn't tell him the truth, he'd think I was crazy. Hunter's a sneak though. He knows how to read people inside and out and he's not buying my half ass explanation.
"I understand if you don't want to talk about it here. What if we went somewhere a little more, private." He whispers leaning in.
"No." I state crossing my arms. I know better than to fall for that trick. He holds out his hands.
"No strings attached, I swear. Just some fresh air and a place to talk. That's it. C'mon Bee. Does it look I'd tell a secret." I glance him up and down debating on what to do. In the end I don't care what Hunter thinks about me at this point. We hardly see each other anyway because he's always off with Kara. I let out a soft sigh, glancing around to make sure no one is watching us.
"Fine." I lower my voice. "Let's go."
I don't even want to explain much because I just want to hear all of your reactions lol! Should Bee trust Hunter? Is she hallucinating? What's going on? Let me hear what you guys think in the reviews.
Shout outs to Foreverlost98 xoElle23 and TheOcean'sMage12 for their incredible amount of support.
Today's QOTC is; What do you splurge on? For me it's probably clothes haha shopping is my weakness.
Lots of Love - Britt