Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Supernatural.
This one is a little more chunky than some of my other chapters.
He jolted up and looked around the room taking in his surroundings. He had fallen asleep again curled up against Willow. Apparently his night of not sleeping meant that he had been able to sleep again, at least for a little bit. He felt a little embarrassed as he realized that he had been crying against Willow for so long and that apparently Willow either was tired herself or she hadn't wanted to risk moving because she was still next to him on the bed, sleeping quietly. He wasn't tired anymore, he had gotten plenty of sleep. The light was off and since Willow had probably had a crappy last couple of days with getting his brother then the angel out then having to deal with him he decided to just let her sleep on his bed. Xander was still mostly dressed so all he had to do was toe on some shoes and grab his keys.
He left his room with absolutely no idea where he was headed. It was the dead of night but that didn't mean that no one would be up. Slayers patrolled at night and while most of the time patrolling was done outside not everyone had patrol and some patrolled the corridors. He made his way into the elevator and but still had no idea what floor to press so he left the elevator and headed for the stairs. The stairs weren't used a lot. There were several floors and usually stairs were only used or training or punishment but tonight he didn't mind because he knew that no one was likely to be in the stairwell.
He decided when he hit the stairs to go down rather than up though he still no destination in mind. He just kept going down and down and down till he couldn't go down anymore and found himself in the basement which happened to be where the gym was. The gym, unlike the stairwell, wasn't dead although it wasn't as populated as it often was during the day. The sparring part of the gym only had one girl who was simply practicing moves. She was young, then again most slayers who lived there were. The older ones were usually teachers and the rest left and went back home once they were control of their abilities to either patrol their own neighborhood or to forget about this part of their lives if they wanted to.
The girl was 13 or 14 and a little short for her age. Her light brown hair was tied back into a ponytail and she was stretching her arm against her other arm. She didn't seem to notice yet that she wasn't alone and Xander knew better than to keep that up if he didn't want a surprised slayer to kick him across the room. It had happened before...more than once, unfortunately.
"Hey," he said and then girl swung around with surprised brown eyes. She looked him up and down and then said.
"You're Xander right?" she asked
She was wearing a tight gray tank top with blue yoga pants.
"Guilty as charged," he said easily. and he leaned aginst the wall.
"You're a friend of Willow's?" she asked eying him warily.
"Also guilty," he said as he made his way into the room.
"What are you doing down here alone?" he asked but not unkindly.
"I haven't been trained enough to go ou patrolling with the others," she said as she grabbed her leg and stretched that as well, her voice had a tinge to bitterness in it. "First she forces me to come here and now I can't even do anything," she groused.
"Who forced you to come here? Willow?" Forcing wasn't really Willow's style. She suggested and hoped that people took her up on the offer but she never forced anyone to come here unless they were clearly a danger to themselves or others. Even then she usually tried to work out arrangements that made both parties happy. She turned to glare at him like he was stupid. Sometimes he didn't miss working with teenaged girls who could be sweet and protective one moment and violent and pissed off for what seemed to him no reason the next. Still, all this time around girls and while he might understand them more than some he was still lost a good part of the time.
"No," she said and moved to the punching bag in the room. They were fortified against slayer strength. They had been specially made so that they wouldn't break when an enraged slayer hit it.
"My mom," Xander's heart fell down into his stomach as the subject he had been trying to avoid jumped down his throat again. Part of him wanted to make some excuse and slip away but the other bigger part of him didn't for some reason that he couldn't explain to himself
"Your mom forced you to come here?" he said his voice coming out much calmer than he had thought it would.
"Yeah, just because I broke this girl's nose when she called me a bitch," She said between punches and kicks to the punching bag. "I only hit her once. It's not my fault that my slayer strength broke her nose," he took on that parental adult face that he had learned during his time as a watcher. It felt a little weird to use it now after not having used it in a long time. She noticed the look on his face and for a moment looked abashed but the look faded away as she attacked the punching bag even more
"You don't approve," she asked after kicking the punching bag a few times.
"Standing up for yourself, I'm all for that, but punching someone for calling you a name usually only gets you into trouble, not them. Adults usually only care who threw the first punch not whether what the person said was punch worthy." She scoffed.
"You say adults like you aren't one," he smiled. He knew he was one but it still felt weird to refer to himself as one even after all this time. When had he turned into an adult? It hadn't been when he was 18. When he became a watcher? When he became a hunter? When had he finally moved out of his parent's basement? He didn't know when had he stopped being goofy adolescent Xander who's only defense was to hide behind Buffy until the danger went away to someone who could take care of himself. All he knew was that it hadn't happened overnight, it had taken a lot of time and effort and even though he was in his middle thirties part of him still felt like the kid that he used to be. How had he gotten so old? Sometimes it felt like just yesterday that Buffy had strolled into their high school turning their lives upside down, other days it felt like a hundred years ago. He was broken out of his thoughts by a particularly loud grunt from the girl as she attacked the punching bag. He smiled as he realized he was being a nostalgic old man. Instead, he focused on the girl and her kicks. After a few moments of watching her he noticed that her technic which would probably look fine to the novice was flawed, however, he kept it to himself. She would be corrected eventually and he would probably only make her mad by correcting it himself.
"What?" She said breaking him out of his thoughts and he realized that he had been staring at her for the past few minutes.
"Nothing," he said and looked away from her. She didn't seem to be able to let it go, though.
"No what?!" she demanded sharply. Xander sighed and got up from leaning against the wall.
"Your technique is sloppy," he said resigned knowing that she wouldn't let it go.
"What would you know about technique, you're not even a slayer," she said harshly before crashing her foot solidly into the punching bag and hissing as her foot hit it dead-on. He didn't comment on the foot blunder just on his own skills.
"Buffy and Faith both taught me to fight," her eyebrows lifted slightly in surprise. She had probably only heard of them. Buffy had settled down in California and Faith was traveling pretty much everywhere. Buffy and Faith only made it out to Cleaveland a couple of times a year and if she had only been there for a few weeks she probably hadn't met either of them yet.
"The original slayers?" she said with a hint of awe in her voice. He nodded, although that made them sound larger than life and he always just thought of them as Buffy and Faith. She bit her lip and looked apologetic.
"I'm sorry, it's just a new place, new people and all of them have the same strength but have been fighting longer," Xander nodded, he understood. He had felt the same when he was training, even worse because everyone seemed to progress faster than him and he had been the oldest one in the room.
"I get it I do," he said, he was going to say something wise like attacking people and punching bags wasn't going to change it when he realized that even though he was right, it was cathartic.
"Want a real partner?" he asked. Normally he wouldn't spar with a slayer that he didn't know especially one this new who probably didn't know her limits and how to hold back as much as an older slayer would, but he wanted someone who wouldn't hold back, even if it meant her technique wasn't quite polished yet. She looked at him for a long moment before nodding.
Xander pulled off his shoes and faced down the small girl. If she wasn't a slayer this wouldn't exactly be a fair fight, as it was the odds were leaning in the younger girls favor. He was wearing jeans vs her much more flexible yoga pants which put him at a slight disadvantage but he didn't care. He hunted in jeans so knew how to move in them pretty well and it wasn't like he wore skinny jeans.
She circled him for a moment and he waited for her to strike. Often times with slayers especially new ones it was the best strategy because they didn't know their center of balance and when they attacked him he could easily work that into his favor. When she did strike, Xander rolled under her fist and then kicked her solidly with his foot when he was standing again. She grunted as she fell to the floor, for a long second she glared at him even when he offered her his hand to help her up but then she just let him pull her up. She wasted little time in attacking him again and this time, he blocked her attack as she tried to dish them out. She seemed to be getting frustrated probably because she had expected no matter what he had told her to be able to easily defeat him.
"When did you activate?" he asked her as breathing heavily from the exertion of keeping up with her. It varied, some activated at birth others when they were children but most tended to activate around puberty.
"About two months ago," she answered as she tried to ram her fist into his face which he blocked just in time. People usually didn't direct headshots at him because without slayer healing if it connected it could seriously hurt him. But that was probably just something that no one had told her yet and he didn't mind. In fact, he liked the spike of adrenaline that it gave him. It allowed him to slip under her attack again and take her legs out from underneath her. For a second she laid splayed out on the floor before she rolled onto her feet.
"You're actually really good, especially for not being a slayer," he smiled at the compliment but didn't let it distract him as she tried the same move on him but he was able to sidestep it. At least, he had thought because the next moment he was laying on the ground only inches away from where the girl had been just moments before. The girl. He just realized that he didn't know the name of the girl that he was fighting.
"What's your name?" he asked between heavy breaths.
"Lexi," the girl said breathing heavily as well but she just happened to be upright. After a moment, she offered him her hand to help him up which he took. He winced a little as he settled onto his feet. He wasn't a young man anymore, he kept forgetting that.
"You okay?" Lexi asked him sounding a little concerned so she had probably caught his wince. He nodded and did his best to shake it off. He wanted this even if it made him a little sore. They started again.
"So where are you from?" he asked while darting out of the way of a kick.
"Maine, you?"
"Sunnydale," he said smiling. It was strange how they were getting to know each other while attacking each other. It wasn't the first time he had gone about getting to know someone this way though and it probably wouldn't be the last.
"Right, I remember something about that," she said with a nod of her head. She should, even at two weeks he was pretty sure that they would have gone over Sunnydale's history since they were on another Hellmouth and apparently those who don't learn their history...yadda yadda yadda. She swung at him and, this time, managed to hit him in the chest. He gasped at the force of the hit and stumbled backward a bit. Right, he knew this was possible, so it was totally his fault that he hadn't cautioned her against it. Her eyes widened in alarm when Xander didn't attack and instead put both his hands on his chest.
"Xander? You ok?" she asked dropping out of her fighting stance. He nodded, his chest ached and there would probably a bruise there soon but it didn't stop his heart or anything which was a plus.
"Do you want to stop?" she asked looking younger than he had seen her all night.
"Maybe just for a minute," Xander said as he made his way over the nearest wall and slid down it. Lexi's eyes followed his progress but her body stayed still. She looked unsure.
"You can sit if you want, this wall is plenty big for the two of us," he said and he snuggled into the cold hard wall. She stared at him for a long moment before she slowly made his way over to him and slid down the wall as well leaving only a few feet between the two of them. She brought her legs to her chest and rested her head on them.
"Sorry," she spoke mostly into her knees.
"It's okay," he said he had known after she had aimed a punch at his head that she wasn't aware of her limits and hadn't stopped or clarified that point when he should have. It was his fault, not hers, because he was the one that knew better.
"I just...I miss home," her voice cracked and the little firecracker was now just a sad little girl trying her hardest to stop herself from crying,
" I miss my house, I miss my stuff... and my mom. Why did she send me away?" he didn't know how to answer that but he felt a similar pang of loss when it came to his mother. The other stuff didn't matter to him. The house he had grown in was in a hole. Almost all of his childhood memories were in the same hole but his mom, god, he missed her.
"I miss my mom too," he admitted aloud. She scrunched up her face at his admission.
"But you're old," he put his hands on his chest trying to mock being injured by the comment but then winced and his fingers pressed the tender area.
"I have you know I'm only 35," he finally was able to get out in response.
"Yeah old," she said like it was obvious. He chuckled lightly in response and she smiled slightly as well.
"I just thought grownups didn't miss their parents," she explained with a shrug. Xander nodded.
"It's true that we don't depend on them as much. We don't need them to eat or provide a roof over our heads and it depends on the relationship but they never stop being your parents." As sore as his chest was and as hard as it was to talk about it, he preferred talking to Lexi than Willow because Lexi didn't know that his mom had just died or what kind of mom she had been. It was kind of nice. She looked down at her feet.
"Then what happens when one of them dies?" she asked softly. He looked down concerned at the young girl; she couldn't be older than 14. Had she already had to deal with the death of a parent? Children buried their parents but it shouldn't happen when they are actually children. He didn't ask though, if she wanted to share that she would. She continued looking down at her feet.
"My Dad died when I was 3, I don't even remember him," she said sadly. Xander nodded but didn't know what to say. HIs dad was dead too but he had died when he was an adult. He hadn't exactly been the best father in the world but at least, he had known him, though often through his life he had wondered whether it would have been easier if he had died when Xander was young. He had at times in his life had thought of what his life would have been like if his Dad had died when he was eight. His mom getting sober and marrying someone and the three of them being a happy family. But the older he got, the more he realized it probably would have gone the other way. His Dad had gotten disability, without that he and his mom probably would have had to move into even cheaper housing and his friendship with Willow may have suffered. Of course, he always felt a little guilty afterward for having the thoughts. Whether or not his Dad was a good father, he was his father and the only one that he had had.
"She hardly even talks about him," Lexi continued and Xander pushed his thought about his own father to the back of his mind "It's been more than ten years and sometimes she still acts like it was yesterday, " she said the bitterness seeping into her voice again.
"Death is hard," slipped out of his mouth. She gave him a look and he laughed.
"Look people deal with death in their own way and in their own time," she still didn't look impressed by his advice he supposed that she had probably heard it before. He decided to go with something a little more honest and personal this time.
"Death sucks," he said "Even when you know it's coming there's never time to talk about everything that you want to talk about." Plus in his Mom's case he had lied and forgiven her when he hadn't truly forgiven her, "then they leave and there's just this absence where they used to be. Even if you don't talk to them you always knew that they were around," he had always thought that she would be around and eventually they would fix their relationship and that everything would be okay. It was stupid and childish but he had firmly believed that they would have time, but they didn't.
"You lost your mom didn't you?" Lexi asked softly he smiled Lexi was more perceptive than he had given her credit for.
"Yeah I did," he said.
"How long ago?" she asked.
"I don't know," he said with a shake of his head. "It feels like years but I think it's only been months."
"I always wondered if it would be harder if I remembered him or easier because then I would, at least, be able to know who he was." He didn't know either. If his mom had died when he was three then he would have grown up with his Dad and only with his Dad. He wouldn't have had the good times before his Dad had turned mean but he also wouldn't probably miss her while simultaneously being angry with her now.
"I don't know," he said honestly. "They both seem they have their own particular brand of suckage," If they died early then they wouldn't be able to disappoint you but you would never know them, never have that personal association. The two sat there against the wall for awhile before Lexi asked with a slight smile.
"So the wisdom you've chosen to impart to me is that death sucks?"Xander smiled back.
"Well even adults don't know everything," he said she smiled widely at that
"Can I quote you on that?" she asked as she started making her way to her feet.
"Please don't," he asked because she would only likely get him into trouble. When she got to her feet she started stretching out it was only a few stretches before she paused again tot look at him.
"The others will get back soon so if I want any ice cream I have to get up there before them," he nodded, he understood how ice cream worked. She turned towards the door but after a moment's hesitation turned back toward him.
"You know you're not so bad," she smirked, "for an old man."
"You're not so bad yourself," he said with a smile of his own.
"Want to meet down here tomorrow at the same time? I promise I"ll go easier on you," she assured him. Xander nodded.
"I'd like that," he said, she smiled and this time, when she turned around she didn't look back before exiting the room.
Thanks for reading please let me know what you think :)