SOoooo readers! We hope you enjoyed the last chapter, and will hope you'll love this one. This chapter is really rated T, and can be difficult for those who love Matt's character ans his best friends (Kelly and Gabby), but it's the story so...

Anyway, thank you for the reviews we had, telling it's an interesting story (and it's just the beginning)!

Now, time to read! Enjoy ;)

Kelly's POV

I saw Matt totally frightened. This was visible on his face and his eyes. He shook his head vigorously. He didn't want the mask.

"Matt... I know why you don't want the mask. But trust me, this one is here to help you get better. Please Matt, I promise you'll feel better after that."

His face subsided. His eyes closed. I saw tears flowing at the corners of his eyes and then flow down along his cheek. He shook his head slightly up and down. At least he listened to me. Even if he was afraid.

"It will be right there to help you okay?"

"Matt? I wish that once in place, you take slow and deep breaths. This will allow me to adjust the flow of oxygen to make you feel better."

"Don't think about the mask. Close your eyes and just think about your breathing."

He closed his eyes. Now we had to know if he would support the mask.

Matt's POV

I closed my eyes, trusting Kelly. After all, he was my best friend, he could not get me anything. Nothing. He had promised me. I tried to convince myself but deep down I knew I was not convinced. I couldn't help but think about them. I felt that the doctor removed the cannula, and replaced it with a mask. I felt my body react independently of my will: I frowned.

"Focus on your breathing Matt. Nothing else."

I had once again this oppressive feeling. Something was covering my face. I had these horrible images in my head. The one that... Of him, tying me with barbed wire, covering my face with a hood to see nothing, unable to breathe normally by hot air, almost without oxygen... And this, indefinitely. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I felt it hit my chest. He accelerated again. I couldn't control a thing anymore. Nothing at all...

"Matt? Matt!"

"He's having a panic attack! Give me 5mg of midazolam!"

Something icy flowed in my veins. I felt my heart beating weaker, slower, I relax myself. I perceived the sounds became bland and faded until I heared nothing.

Benett's POV

Matt's stats took five minuts to stabilize at a ''good'' level. We could now read the calm, but also the angst on his face. On Kelly's, misunderstanding and distress. On Gabby's, I could read fear. No one spoke. Nobody could.

"This... This can happen. Tell me, do you know if he was... Gagged during... His captivity?"

Kelly looked at me with amazement. A bit like if he had words on his lips, something like "Are you kidding me?". But I had to know what was in the head.

"He was. In fact, He was often accompanied by an... A sort of hood. Anyway, I don't know how to call that. He was bound and gagged. During four days."

I motioned that. I understood what he was saying. The man who stood before me in that hospital bed... He had lived hell. Physically, psychologically, probably verbally but also sexually. I received the results at the moment, stretched by the head nurse, and I don't know how to tell them. Tell them that their friend would never be the same.

"These papers talk about Matt?"

The question startled me and get me out of my thoughts. Gabby and Kelly held hands very strongly. They wanted answers.

"Um, Yes. These are the results of the tests I have done an hour ago."

"And? So?ยป

I was confused by the question. Both full of anger, waiting and doubt.

"You... You wmay want to sit down."

Gabby put her hand over her mouth and wept. I realized that she knew more or less what it meant, what I would say. Kelly, meanwhile, remained motionless, paralyzed. Gabby even had to force him to sit on one of the many uncomfortable chairs of the department.

"Matt... Matt has been raped?"

Gabby seemed out of it, the look she wore me was black, as if she thought me responsible for what happened. I nodded my head slowly up and down, looking at my feet, then the results. I didin't see them directly, but I felt they were both out of them. And it makes sense.

"He... There are traces of penetration, but not forced penetration... Whether..."

The more I read the results, the more I wanted to stop speaking. If I told them everything, it would not help their minds, Matt's, but also mine.

"Whether what?"

Once again, I jumped because I was again lost in my thoughts. How had he done to achieve clinging to life after such an ordeal? I took a deep breath.

"Whether anal or oral."

I felt bad at ease. Very uncomfortable. I was stunned by the violence he had suffered. That touched me, I didn't know how or why.

"He... He was probably drugged. Or forced to not tense up."

"How? How we can force to not tense up?"

Kelly had risen suddenly angry. He frightened me. Really scared me. He had tears in his eyes, but it was not tears of sadness. It was tears of anger.

"Perhaps he was told that thay would hurt the people he loves if he didn't let do... Things like that..."

"Things like that..."

Kelly abruptly left the room, followed by Gabby who wanted to catch him up. I was now alone in that room, with my analysis, totally overwhelmed. I was trembling slightly, and I felt a few drops of sweat on my cheeks. I shook my head to pull myself in the reality but I couldn't. Dr. Charles arrived, hoping probably talk to Matt.

"He's still unconscious?"

I looked up, hoping he doesn't understand my distress.

"He woke up just a few minutes ago, but panicked. I wanted to see if he would support the mask... But that was not the case. He was bound and gagged, that is why he is afraid of the mask."

"And you? You're holding up?"

I was not surprised by the question, but I did like that was the case. I frowned.

"You're sweaty, I can see from here that your heart is pounding and you are trembling, your breathing is faster than usual and also your voice is trembling."

I couldn't hide anything from this man. He knew me just now for this case, but he could read me like an open book. I sighed and looked at my papers.

"These are the test results?"

I did nothing but shake his head slightly, and handed him the few papers in my hands. The more he read these sheets, the more his face became rigid. But I didn't see anything happen.

""How... How are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

His question was instantaneous. It made me shudder.

"To remain as a stone..."

He undid his gaze leaves and stopped on my face.

"I am not as a stone... The psychiatrists must remain attentive to our patients and their families, but also of ourselves. Every psychiatrist has his own limit. And we don't know it until you have exceeded this limit."

"Ar you beyond it?"

He didn't move.

"I don't know. I don't really know the case. I think it will be very hard, but I should get there."

I nodded. His answer did not satisfy me, but after all... A psychiatrist response never met anyone.

"You still have not answered my question Bennett."

I jumped again. It became a habit since some hours.

"Which one?"

"You're holding up?"

I knew that he knew the answer to that question. But he wanted to hear it from my mouth. And I also knew that it was useless to hide the truth.

"I have the feeling... The feeling of being powerless in this case. I mean... He went through hell, and I have a feeling that his friends too. They hide us something, I know that. But I don't know what."

"You think they could have... ''Seen'' what happened to him?"

I spent my eyes now on Matt, totally still in bed, a mask on the face. The one he didn't want. I got up and took off the mask and replaced again by a cannula. Under the terms of a psychiatrist, I avoid the issue by not speaking, and doing something else.

"I take it to a yes."

He understood. It was not for nothing that he was the head of the psychiatry.

"It's probably the first time they are reviewing Matt for four days, but It like that they knew what was happening. Well, not entirety. They managed to say that he was bounded and gagged while the police didn't tell them anything."

"Gabby is the sister of one of the policemen who found him."

This information, I didn't know it. But I knew something He didn't know.

"I asked detective Dawson to say nothing. That it remained confidential for the moment and as long as the case is not closed. This implies his sister and Kelly. And all the other firefighters."

"Speaking of that... Where are they?"

I had not thought to tell him...

"They left the room angry when I explained the results of the analyzes. I don't know where they went."

"It's no big deal. Their reaction are logical."

Dr. Charles left the room, leaving me alone. Again. I was so vulnerable...