AN: This chapter might not make as much sense if you've never watched/read the Princess Bride. If so (who are you?!... what are you? go watch/read it now!) a quick wiki field trip is recommended.

If a field trip is not possible, just know that Wesley/Dread Pirate Roberts and Buttercup at the male and female lead. And Inigo Montoya, Vizzini, and Fezzik are the three characters that help/interfere with the protagonists getting together.

Dreamcatcher

By Airyo

This Lonely Fortress - 4

"Anything?! " Naruto burst out as soon as Sasuke entered the private booth.

"Agent Inigo Montoya checking in. Progress in Operation Twoo Wuv is…" - Sasuke sighed and he slumped down into his seat. Even his spikey hair seemed to wilt - "...negative."

The esteemed future Rokudaime Hokage of Konohagakure gave a wail of anguish and began hitting his head against the table. Sasuke raised his voice so his report could be heard over the steady sound of wood on wood.

"After Dread Pirate Roberts visited the Clergyman, he mentioned understanding his new goal, but also that he needed to gather more information. Subject was disinclined to further questioning, but it's been over a week and Dread Pirate Roberts has made no moves to approach Buttercup."

"Agent Vizzini reporting," Sakura said. "Progress here was also dismal. The Ancient Booer reported no further reaction from Buttercup except blushing and running into an excessive number of doors. Buttercup has spending most of her time in the kitchens in order to keep busy and mostly likely to avoid missing the Dread Pirate Roberts."

"Fezzik here, and fail," Naruto said, and blew a raspberry to emphasize the degree. "Itachi and HInata haven't met at the Uchiha training grounds since last week. I don't know why, though they were both blushing when they had left. That has to mean something, right?"

"Agent Fezzik, you're supposed to use the code names…"

"Shut up Agent Bastard. Fat lot of good Operation Twoo Wuv is doing!"

Naruto's strident reminder made of all them pause. They sighed in unison. Naruto rested his chin on the table, expression drooping pitifully.

"They're not actually going to do anything, are they?" the blond muttered bitterly. "They're just going to keep pretending nothing happened just because neither of them have ever been through something like this. And they're scared because they like each other so much."

Sakura and Sasuke stared. Naruto growled at them. "What?!"

"Naruto...that was really insightful," the medic praised. Her green eyes sparkled with renewed determination. "And you're right. If they're too scared to do anything, we need to give them that final push."

"I know, I know!" Naruto exclaimed as he raised his hand eagerly as if in class. " I'll turn into Itachi-sensei and ask Hinata on a date."

"That's your solution for everything. And even if your Sexy-Harem isn't actually genjutsu, don't you think Hinata would notice that Uchiha Itachi suddenly changed personalities?" Sakura asked. Naruto gave her a smug look

"Sakura-chan, your forehead is so charming and large…" he simpered in falsetto as he fluttered his eyelashes. "It makes me want to make-out with it and-" He was cut off with a fist to the face, from each of his teammates.

"I was twelve," Sakura gritted out the same time as Sasuke insisted that he "did not sound like that."

Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Anyways...we don't need to trick her. I'm sure we can convince Hinata to work with us. The bigger issue is getting Itachi to go. He's only going to get angry, no matter how we approach him about it."

"It's simple," Naruto said with a wince as he rubbed his new bruises. "We just let him think that we tricked Hinata into it, and he'll have to go to save her. She's a stickler for manners and punctuality, right?"

"That works...though that still doesn't solve the issue of him getting mad at us," Sasuke commented. "I'd rather keep my sanity."

"He's already scheduled us for early evals with Ibiki," Sakura soothed uncertainly. "He won't do anything to us that will actually put us on probation...right? Right guys?"

"You need to work on your bedside manner if that's how you're comforting patients…" Sasuke muttered after a beat. "Remember when Naruto tried to prank him and Itachi retaliated by framing us for painting the entire merchant sector orange...including the merchants? Remember when we had to work at the bathhouses for months afterwards?"

Naruto and Sakura paled at the memory of all the saggy bodies they had to help scrub.

"It's a good thing that sensei hates Ibiki, neh?" she said weakly, her complexion taking on a hue that matched her eyes. "Those two working together…" Sakura was unable to finish. All three of them shuddered.

Naruto took a deep breath and let it out. "Itachi-sensei's a precious person. It's for his own good. So I'm willing to risk it. B-Believe it!" His catchphrase was whispered like a prayer.

Team 7 exchanged wary glances and nodded in solemn camaraderie. They were the soldiers, and Hinata was the secret weapon. They would prepare the battlefield, but after that, it was all up to her.

If it didn't work out, the consequences would be inconceivably horrible.

AN: I'm veering dangerously into Too Much Crack Filler zone. In fact, I might have already built a castle in the Kingdom of Excessive Crack Filler Chapters and put a Dreamcatcher's flag on it. I blame Team 7. But it was a sorely needed intervention.

Speaking of crackfics, go check out 'Freudian Slip' by my friend Rubadub. I might have possibly maybe beenhelpingherwithit…

P.S. I direct your attention to the fact that it was Sasuke's idea to use Princess Bride code names. Mayhap we have a closet romantic on our hands?