I woke up in an exceptionally cold November day with a startle. Stupid window had opened itself again with the dam wind, the progressive absence of the sun was reflecting itself on the outside temperature – well and now the inside temperature as well – and had woken me, because after a rather busy night, heated up by body warmth I had made the brilliant decision that body heat was in fact the only thing I needed, so the covers were everywhere except on me. With my eyes still closed I fumbled around with my hand looking for the fabric, opening my eyes with confusion and surprise I realised right side of the bed was empty.
I looked around, my vision still a little blurry from the sleep. The bedroom was small so from a scan I came to the fast conclusion that he wasn't in there. I got up closed the window and put on a sweat-shirt Dimitri had left on the bedroom chair. As I approached the door I could smell something in the air – my nose was renowned for its ability to smell food from quite a distance – I moved through the living room and into the kitchen where I found Dimitri with a very concentrated look flipping an overly cooked pancake.
"You know I love when you do breakfast but I love more to wake up in a Saturday morning with you next to me…" I sat on the high stool near the double sided counter "And … I think that's done"
He looked at me and as something had made a spark inside his head he quickly took out the pancake, put it into a plane and proceeded to put more batter into the pan. "Did you sleep well? You seemed tired last night" He gave me a wayward look through the corner of his eye.
"Well… you kind of tired me out…" I grinned back at him as I stretched to reach the plate and pulled to me. After dripping some syrup on it I started devouring the food – Dimitri was truly a god… besides looking as he did, doing all the amazing things he could he also knew how to cook wonderfully. Lucky me – I let out a groan of happiness as my taste buds screamed the halleluiahs. He smiled, he always relished my ability to enjoy food.
I caught a glance of the numbers on his wrist watch. It was 7 p.m.! Okay something was definitely going on, it was early even for him.
"Dimitri what's going on? You only wake up this early on the weekend when something is bothering you… come on, spill it out" I put on one of my serious looks. He slowly turned off the stove and turned to face me staring straight into me. Those stares that made me crazy, those stares that made it seem like I could feel him completely and at the same nothing at all.
"Your parents are in town, and are coming for dinner…" I nodded in compliance my mouth busy again with the pancakes. Giving him a look that transmitted a "And?..." I didn't have to wait a long time until he got to the main point of the problem though "I want to tell them tonight"
"Ow" I let out, looking down at my plate "Are you sure? We don't even know the date yet and…well…are you sure?"
He moved toward the counter and put his hands on the surface leaning slightly forward. "We could…not tell them….ever" I mumbled in a low hush.
"I'm sure. I don't want to delay it more than I have to. Most probably your father is already going to give me hell for not asking him first" He responded with an apologetic look to my shocked expression.
"Hell no! I'm not his property, especially considering he showed up in my life 18 years too late"
"I know Roza…I know, but you know how he is. He is…old fashioned in those matters"
"That's why you are worried? Because of my dad?" I was definitely a poor actress because Dimitri's apologetic – and may I say somewhat embarrassed – expression was indeed a response to my shocked look.
"And your mother…" He paused considering his answer "Actually I don't know which of them I'm more afraid of"
I wasn't hearing this…Dimitri Belikov, sensual beast, guardian god, killed i-don't-know-how-many Strigoi, and was turned into one just to come back to life again, was afraid of his fiancé's parents. It was even funny, though I was able to restrain myself from making a joke – hard, I know.
"You know…What they think doesn't matter, not to me, and it shouldn't to you either" He smiled affectionately and held my hand in his, kissing it softly.
I guess in some way he longed for their approval. He wanted them to like and accept him. His relationship with them wasn't amazing, I admit it, especially after all that happened – our, kind of illegal, hidden romance, him trying to turn me Strigoi, him trying to hunt me down and kill me – we could say that our history wasn't filled with sunshine and puppies. My mother though was starting to come to terms with it, my father was a little harder to decipher although his mobster past made him a little more dubious about everything.
"I kind of understand them though… If I had a daughter I don't know if I would encourage her to be with a guy like me… would you?"
My face turned from pensive to mischievous.
"Are you kidding?! Of course I would! Have you looked yourself in the mirror? I walked over to him and put my hands on his chest tilting my head in his direction.
"That's all I am to you, a boy toy? I feel used…" he wrapped his arms around my waste with a playful tone to his voice.
"Mostly yes, you have to admit, it is your best trait. Although sometimes it's nice to have you around… to carry heavy stuff you know…"
I held myself at the tip of my toes rubbing my nose against his, teasing him. Thankfully the outcome didn't disappoint. He let out one of those rasp laughs and with a sudden move he sat me on the kitchen counter. I was slightly higher than him, my hand pushed away a strand of his hair, caressing his skin as I did so. We kissed, first slowly, tenderly and then quickly – as it usually was with us –something in us started boiling inside, the kisses turned passionate and full of desire. His hand exploring my body, both of mine held tightly to the back of his neck. Sometimes I wondered how we could even be apart from each other without feeling some kind of withdrawal symptoms.
Dimitri pulled back leaving me in some sort of haze of frustration. Seeing my annoyed look he quickly added.
"I have to take a shower…" his mouth inches from mine.
"Can I join you?" I asked breaking the distance between us, trailing a pattern of kisses on his neck.
"The supermarket closes at 11, we have to –" I joined our lips together once more, silencing him.
"I'm a multitasker" I gave him an almost feline smile and got down from the counter. Heading towards the bathroom I slowly took out the oversized sweatshirt I had worn, dropping it on the floor midway, I felt his eyes fixed on my naked back.
We left the supermarket at 11 sharp, with the employees barely kicking us out. We stopped to eat something and returned home. While I started cleaning the house – mostly from the mess I had created during the previous week – Dimitri started the dinner preparations, because although I could make a mean scrambled eggs he was definitely the chef in the house. What was the phrase I hear Olena say once? The best way into someone's heart is through their stomach. Well… it was worth a try.
Before we realised, it was five o'clock and dinner time was almost upon us. An earlier dinner, by my parents request since they didn't stay at Court and had still a fair journey back home afterwards.
Dimitri came out of the kitchen cleaning his hands with a piece of cloth, and only after did he look around to the space he had entered. The living room's couch was now slightly to the side in order to fit the foldable table, all set, and four chairs. Everything was shining except for a very tired Rose that was lying on the couch with a dirty rag on top of her chest.
"Wow…" Dimitri said glancing around and then, resting his eyes on me "I give it one day" he added passing through the couch and removing the rag from me, winking "Look at you! You know this morning's shower was completely useless don't you?"
"Argh" I moaned " Now I'm gonna have to take another one…" I moaned again, getting up and stomping my feet all the way to the bathroom.
"Well… honestly I don't think washing up was your top priority this morning…" I heard his voice coming out of the bedroom.
"Lucky for you it wasn't!" I screamed, making an effort for him to hear me over the shower water running. I didn't see it, but I could swear he had just made one of his delicious smiles.
When I came out of the bathroom, with a towel wrapped around my body and another one wrapped around my hair, I found Dimitri already dressed – he wore a dark grey buttoned up shirt and black trousers. I really felt a burning desire to strip it off him, and well… I was actually doing it in my mind, because I stood there for a couple of minute, frozen under the doorway gawking at him.
"You see something you like?" he said with a very, wilful, sexy look, peaking from the top of his book. I was transported to the 2 times when I had said that to him, snapping out of it I responded.
"Well… Yes… but between taking that shirt off of you and getting dressed myself I don't think we would have the time" He smirked and disappeared behind his book again.
I continued to rub my hair with the towel and sat down on an armchair on the other side of the room, hoping the distance would help me not to act according to my recent thoughts. Satisfied that my hair wouldn't get any drier I got up and walked to the closed next to the bed leaving the towel in the armchair. As I passed by Dimitri I winked at him, noticing that his look had once again, deviated from the book. As I took the dark blue dress out of the hanger I hear the doorbell.
"This is unbelievable! They are early! Why are they early?" I started panicking. I quickly put on the dress and turned to him so he could zip me up.
"Don't worry" he said after pulling the zipper and kissing my bare shoulder "I'll sacrifice myself for the greater good… are you going to wear the ring?" He asked, stopping midway out of the bedroom.
I understood the question. My parents had been away and out of contact for 6 months which meant that they didn't even know about the engagement, let along the wedding.
"Well… I don't think….should I?"
"It's just it's a little…noticeable" He said closing the bedroom door and heading for the main entrance. I could hear him welcoming them in. I quickly passed to the mirror to fix my hair into a messy high bun, and put some of what I like to call my badass lipstick.
When I finally arrived to the living room I found Abe and Janine sitting on the couch and Dimitri on the side armchair. They were talking about something, I looked suspiciously at them wondering the topic.
"You are early you know?" Making my presence notice I leaned against the doorway, crossing my arms while carefully hiding the hand with the ring.
"Hello to you too daughter of mine" said Abe, who was as usual, wearing the most amusing combination of colours. I decided not to respond to his comment.
"So… how are you? Everything is going well? I said, a little awkwardly, sitting on the arm of the chair Dimitri was in. Honestly I never had ease in starting a conversation with any of the two…
Also the subjects were always weird … with Janine it was kind of limited since she couldn't very well share a detailed description of Lord Szelzky's day – the Moroi she was looking out for – and Abe…well I'm not sure I wanted ever to know about his day, mobster and trafficking deals were not really my cup of tea. Most of the times we were together there was something going on in our lives that demanded it – being Strigoi attacks, my running away to kill my Strigoi boyfriend or me getting short after being accused of killing the queen of Moroi – so we can say that the subject for conversations was always kind of a given. I couldn't picture being in the same table as those two discussing the weather or sharing cooking recipes.
"Everything is okay, I got reassigned, Lord Szelzky decided to reduce his protection detail since he got sick and doesn't get out of the house as much, so I'm now in charge of one of his grandsons…" Janine said with her usual serious look.
I noticed that they were sitting really close to each other, legs almost touching, Abe was looking at her while she talked with a… different, look. They must have decided to rekindle their relationship. Actually I don't know how I felt about this… I was happy for them… I guess.
"I'm going to check out on dinner" He patted my leg and got up, heading to the kitchen. I smiled and followed him with my eyes for a few seconds before returning my gaze to Janine and Abe.
He was talking about some weird situation that had happened to him at work, I honestly wasn't paying much attention, my mind was trying to think about the best way to break out the news. I came to the decision it was better to wait until dinner, at least that way if something went wrong I could easily stuff my mouth with food in order to avoid answering any questions. That moment came too quickly, with Dimitri sweet voice calling us to the table.
"Dinner is ready" he said putting on the centre of the table a big oven plate filled with a delicious Russian recipe I could hardly pronounce. I jumped at the sound of his voice heading the origin of the amazing smell, taking my place on one of the chairs. "I hope you like it , it is a family recipe" he added.
"Dimitri is a very good cook, truly!" I said reaching out for their plates with my right hand, obviously trying to hide the ring – thank god I was right-handed – so that Dimitri could serve them the food. While I look him in the eyes a thought crossed my mind that probably we should have arranged between us a signal to know when we should tell them. How would I know when it was the best time?
Unfortunately the opportunity came faster than I had expected.
"And you two? Is everything going well?" Janine asked between bites "Oh and the food is excellent Dimitri" He smiled in appreciation.
"Everything is great" I said casually, smiling softly at Dimitri.
"Really? Wasn't it hard? Moving in together?" Abe spoke at last. I am actually surprised it took him so long.
"No, well it's different from what we were both used to, but it wasn't hard" I said, compulsively turning my engagement ring around my finger, my left hand on my lap underneath my napkin. I looked at Dimitri with a save-me-please or join-in-anytime look, pleading for…something.
"Hum…" he started, looking very intensely at his plate and then turned his stare to Janine "I actually have something I want to tell you…"
Oh for the love of St. Vladimir are you freaking kidding me?! That was not what I had in mind… at all Comrade! We just started eating and you already busted out the bubble… really?
He looked at me with a sort of desperation cracking through his usual guardian mask. I looked back with a surprised and shocked expression.
I turned to Abe and Janine and smiled – what you can call a yellow smile I suppose, somewhat fake and forced. After this point I can tell you that nothing was planned, my body just acted on its own.
I slowly put my left hand on top of the table, the Safire reflecting all the light in the room. I saw my mother noticing this, while my father continued to look attentively at Dimitri, waiting patiently for him to continue, while taking another sip of his metal engraved flask, obviously filled with blood.
"Hum…" His Russian accent peeking out as it did when he was most nervous "I asked Rose to marry me, and she said yes" He looked at me, although the expectation to hear my parents' response meant that his worry hadn't disappeared.
Abe put his flask down and was looking very… intense. My eyes dropped on my mother who I didn't understand if she was about to smile or scream. I slid my hand to Dimitri's covering it.
"Well don't speak all at once…" I finally said, trying to break the ice.
"Congratulations you two. I'm sorry, I was a little in shock" He patted Dimitri on the back with his hand, a little too strongly if you ask me, but he smiled openly "Do you have a date in mind? A venue? I know this great manor we sometimes use for…"
"We are not going to use a mobster house as a wedding venue Abe" I looked disapprovingly at him. Dimitri's expression lightened up a little.
"Have you really thought about this?" All eyes turned to the origin of the voice. Janine sat there, with a very serious look, staring straight at me.
"Are you kidding me?" I blurred out.
This was not fucking happening. I thought Abe would react like this, not Janine! I gave a quick glance at Dimitri, his guardian mask was up again, blocking out any emotions he surely felt, I couldn't help but wondering what was going on in his mind. He, like so many other guardians looked up at her, even idolized her. So it is probably not an easy blow to have someone you admire turn you down like that. Me? I was having trouble adjusting to the fact that my absent mother with whom my relationship was surprisingly improving, had just pronounced those words.
"Well, don't get me wrong…I'm glad that you are happy together…but coming out in the open with all this, especially two guardians with such a reputation as you two…"
Okay. Now I couldn't believe it! I had had enough. I looked straight into her eyes with an enraged expression. Dimitri quickly realised I was going to enter full-angry-rose mode because he put his hand on my leg, squeezing it softly, however, I couldn't be stopped.
"How dare you? You really don't know me at all if you think for one second that I care about what anybody thinks" I paused, the table remained silent. Dimitri spoke however, after a few seconds.
"I love Rose, no matter what. If it is our reputation you are worried about, I think you can rest at ease. Our work speaks for itself. We are known for being excellent guardians, not for who we go home to. I don't think anyone who has met us has ever said that it had interfered with our work, I doubt that will ever happen"
I squeezed his hand with mine. Still leaving my left hand on top of the table, firmly, almost as a statement. I knew Dimitri had two reasons for saying that. One obviously to make it quite clear of his position on the current situation. Two, to try and calm me down and dissuade me from doing…well…what I ended up doing a few seconds later. I knew he meant well and he clearly didn't want me to be hurt from what might come about in the remaining conversation. Also I could see Janine with an expression of someone who was about to say something. Abe silent, like watching a ping pong game between the two of us. But what can I say… I couldn't leave it at that. It was one of my greatest faults – I was working on it believe me, I truly was – but at the moment, I had to have the last word.
"I have no shame in who I love. I would rather marry Dimitri, or any other guardian" I clarified "A million times, than to be a frustrated, lonely Damphir having sex with a Moroi just for the sake of appearances"
Everything happened in some kind of a blur after that. I hear Dimitri exhale deeply in a mixture of exasperation and I-knew-this-was-going-to-happen. Abe took a sip, or many I don't quite remember, out of his flask looking shocked and amused at the same time – if that is even possible. Janine and I continued with the stare exchange, neither of us wanting to give in first.
"I never meant that" she finally said. And that was it, we spend the night not talking to each other, at least me, Dimitri and Janine. Abe and I exchanged some comments about a new Moroi law in approval by Council, but not much more. Eye contact was avoided, conversation was banned. The clinging of cutlery was the only sound in the house during the whole dinner.
And then it was over. My parents quickly found an excuse to leave and of course I didn't make any effort to prolong the evening.
"Well dinner was delicious Dimitri, but I have an early morning tomorrow and would like to get home before the sun reaches its highest" He said, getting up and clasping his hand together, glancing quickly at Janine, signalling her to get up as well.
I smiled – though I don't think I made a very good job at it – and accompanied them to the door, opening it. Janine got out and Abe stayed behind.
"Then tell me when you set the date okay?" he winked at Dimitri as he kissed me on the cheek. We both showed a hint of a smile, a little more honest this time at least.
"Goodnight Abe" I responded and as he joined Janine, I closed the door. With what seemed to be lead in my shoes I stomped my way to the bedroom, passing by Dimitri, neither of us looking at each other.
I threw myself on the bed staring at the white ceiling with so much anger I could have pierced a whole right through it. I heard the sound of plates and cutlery being moved around and then water running. I didn't get up. It was only after 20 minutes that I saw through my peripheral vision, a shadow in the bedroom doorway. He stood there looking at me, for what seemed like forever, then came closer to my side of the bed and sat down next to me, elbows supported on his kneed, slightly leaning forwards. We just stood there in silence. We were exhausted, burned out. Not physically obviously, we both knew the sensation of being physically tired, this was different. That feeling that you have when something you dreaded actually happens that mental exhaustion from trying to make yourself understand and then, finally, admitting that it had gone all wrong.
I tilted my head towards where he sat. "You didn't need to clean up all that stuff alone…" I broke the silence. He turned his face to me, slowly, almost like he had been interrupted from some deep thought that hadn't still quite left his mind yet. He looked at me with what seemed to be mix between apologetic and a pity look. He was probably thinking what had gone over me to offer to clean up the dishes.
"I'm sorry Roza…" He leaned back slightly, his hand finding my leg and caressing it "I didn't want it to go like this"
My hand found his "Don't apologise. It's my mother's fault, not yours" I looked back at the ceiling.
"Well…despite anything, I know how you were expecting her reaction to be…I'm sorry It went wrong"
"I really thought she and I were getting better…never mind, I don't care what she thinks, I don't care what anybody thinks…we're doing this, no question about it" I sat up sliding my hand up his back resting it finally at the back of his neck, drawing circles on it with my thumb "Anyway, we got Abe behind it…you know what that means, we'll probably will be entitled to a Godfather and everything" I winked at him. He chucked softly at my joke. Only me to make a joke after the dinner we just had…
He looked away again "You know she's only trying to protect you…"
"I can protect myself, I think we all should have come to that conclusion by now. I can take care of myself"
"I know that. But she's your mother Roza, she'll always want to protect you"
"She wasn't always around to protect me, that didn't bother her then, why should she be concerned now?!" My tone of voice got a little out of hand.
"Why she wasn't back there is her issue, but she is now and even though it was the wrong way to approach it she just doesn't want you to get hurt"
I hugged him from behind, my hands close to his chest so I could feel his heart beating steadily.
"That's what mother tend to do…sometimes tough, they don't go about it in the best way…" He continued. I laid my head against his shoulder, looking into his strong neck partially covered by brown strands of hair.
"I guess I haven't gotten used to having a mother present in my life…" I felt him smile. I slowly felt my body warming up with the thought of his smile…he had that effect on me.
"Janine is very clever, so she probably also knows that you always end up doing what you set your mind to, no matter other's people's opinions, even hers"
"I told you…nothing can change my mind, not even if St. Vladimir raised from the dead and opposed to us getting married…" I said in a very serious tone, then kissing his shoulder. He let out one of those low rasp laughs of his "You are stuck with me Comrade"
He turned his head right and as he did I backed mine away. We looked into each other's eyes lovingly. We came closer again, this time joining our lips together. His warmth radiated from him as if filling the entire room. We stayed like that for a while – I had gotten used to losing count of time when we kissed – and as we broke apart for only one second I got on front of him, dragging myself into his lap and embracing him, while his hands moved to my hips. Suddenly he pushed me away, even if we were merely a couple of inches from each other it was like somebody had sucked the air out of the room.
"You know you have to talk to her eventually right? To apologize…" He looked at me attentively, almost trying to guess my reaction. I returned his stare neutrally like I was absorbing what he has just said and then hugged him tightly, mumbling into his chest in a low voice.
"I know…Not today though…today I'm still mad"
He laughed and reciprocated the hug, his arms locking me into his body, one of his hands slid to my hair stroking it softly and, as he did this, I felt myself drifting away, sleepily, relaxed within him.
"Of course Roza…" He whispered into my ear as he laid us both back on the bed and closed his eyes next to me.
Hello lovely readers, thank you so so much for the wonderfull reviews, you all have a place in my heart. Here is a little sneak peak, the thrid chapter's title is: A Date to set and a Place to choose
I hope you all had a wonderfull beginning of the new year (i know i had, i was in Paris with friends ;) )
As always... Reviews – either of 1 word or 50 - are always a ray of sunshine in a cloudy day :)