I don't own MR

Ari

"Ari, it's okay," Lupo tried to console me, shrugging on her jacket. I paid no attention to her though. I was too caught up in my own thoughts to even look at her. I would have to live with this guilt for the rest of my life, knowing I had willingly gone behind my friend's back, and that thought consumed me whole.

Lupo was saying something else, but I didn't hear her, all I could hear was the voice inside my head taunting me mercilessly. Worthless idiot. Should have drowned. Think about what you just did? Think about all the pain you're causing right now? Iggy is going to snap your neck and you deserve it.

I didn't realize it, but I was sobbing. I couldn't help the fact that the tears were falling down my face like a dam that had finally burst. Or the strange sound came from my mouth as I cried; something between a grunt and a sigh. Feeling trapped and ashamed, I rested my forehead on my knees to hide my tears from Lupo and let myself cry. What's wrong with me? Why did I listen to her?

The worst part of all this was Lupo seemed completely indifferent about the whole affair. She should be the wreck, sitting in a pool of her own tears, not me. She should be the one feeling horrible and gross and terrified, not me. But for some reason nothing was how I thought it should be.

I was so caught up in my dark side, I barely registered Lupo's soft touch as she patted my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me, or the words that fumbled out of her mouth in a useless order I didn't understand. I wanted to listen to her tell me it was okay, that we would be okay, that we were still friends and always would be, but just the sound of her melodic voice at a time like this was way too much for me.

"Just stop!" I yelled finally, looking up at her. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to hear the lies coming out of her mouth, or feel the comfort I didn't deserve. Lupo just stared at me for a second, utterly dumbfounded by my outburst, before mumbling something under her breath and walking away from me. She hated me. She had too. I was being absolutely horrible to her. "It's not a big deal, Ari. I don't see why-" Lupo started, btu I wasn't going to listen to it.

"Because it's a big deal to me!" I snapped, cutting her off. "Lupo, I'm really in no mood to listen to how you don't care about anything, so please just shut up." I wasn't really mad at her, and I'm not sure why I yelled, I was just upset with myself for basically making her cheat on her boyfriend.

Lupo glared at me, obviously furious by my thoughts of her carelessness, but didn't say anything else. Either she was actually thinking about my feelings or she was afraid that once she opened her mouth she wouldn't be able to stop cussing me out. Probably the latter.

We sat in pitch blackness for a good hour- or at least, that's what it felt like. Neither of us talked, or really looked at each other, just stared at the white walls until our sanity began to slip away. Finally, Lupo broke the silence. "I do care. I care a lot, actually. I care about Iggy, I care about Max, and by some stupid, crazed part of me, I care about you." She said, looking up at me with those sparkling golden eyes. Every time I looked into them they took my breath away, but I managed to compose myself. Now was not the time to go brain-dead because of the girl I was in love with.

I sighed and shook my head. "I know, I shouldn't have said that. I'm just..." My voice trailed off as I tried to find the correct word to describe me. Alot of bad words came to mind; words Max would normally use when talking about Jeb. Did that make me like Jeb? A lost soul who's insanity consumed him until there was no man left, only beast?

"You're just a good guy who panics way too much," Lupo flashed me a grin and I weakly smiled back, letting myself live in that sort of compliment for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Lupo. For everything," I whispered, deciding if I couldn't turn back the past, I could apologize for it. However that one word, sorry, hardly described how I really felt. The kind of sorry I was, was so beyond words.

The silence ticked by for a few painful seconds before Lupo shocked me by walking over and sitting down by my side.

"You know, Ari, you're one of my best friends, and even though you're a pain in the ass... pretty much all the time, I'm glad you're here with me." The words sounded awkward coming from Lupo, but at the same time I knew she had to mean them, so I nodded and smiled, because we at least had this moment of pure friendship that made me feel on top of the world. I could hate myself later, now I just wanted to take advantage of this happy moment in my crazy life.

The next day, or what felt like the next day anyways, I was back to hating myself. Sure I forced a grin on my face and tried not to stay huddled in the corner, but all I could think about myself were these horrible thoughts that I figured only suicidal people thought. Maybe I was suicidal, but there was no way to kill myself so I just dealt with my sorry life and continued trying to find a way out, if not for me, then for Lupo.

It had probably been somewhere around a week since Lupo and I had... attempted reproduction if my thoughts were correct. We both had thought of an escape plan by now, and after a lot of arguing I finally scrapped my idea and let Lupo's take charge. Mostly because I know how Lupo is, and she probably wouldn't have come with me if I used my escape plan. She figured mine was too flawed, too risky. Which honestly, it was. But what's life without a little risk?

Both of us were on high alert all day, waiting for two erasers to walk through the sliding door and give us food like everyday.

We would act sound asleep, almost dead. They would let their guard down, if only for a moment, and that's when we'd strike. If we moved fast enough we would be able to knock them out before they could call for backup or sound an alarm. At that point we would start off at a dead sprint down the halls, and ultimately be looking for an exit, but at the same time be aware Fang could be somewhere around here as well.

If we found him there was a whole other plan in the plan Lupo had accounted for which I hadn't, but if we didn't, well, we'd just continue on and find the exit. Since we were both erasers we figured if we just morphed and kept our heads down, we could get passed the idiots that passed for well-bred erasers that patrolled the halls. If we saw a scientist however, we would hide. We had to. They would recognize us.

So we waited. And waited. And waited. Until finally the familiar buzzing noise of the door opening rang in my ears. We both already knew how to pretend to be asleep, and figured we were doing a great job. Just a few more seconds and we'd jump up and attack. However, that's not how it went down.

Before those seconds could pass, Lupo's scream rang in my ears and I immediately shot up to find at least twenty erasers in the room, six of them carrying Lupo away. "Lupo!" I shouted, launching myself towards her. She sent me a look that told me to stay down, but I couldn't. I had to protect her.

My wild, careless actions had caused me to go down before I could get to her, even if the erasers were momentarily shocked by my sudden alertness. Seven of them dog-piled on top of me, crushing me under their wait as I continued to call for Lupo. As long as I heard her voice I knew there was a chance.

But then I couldn't hear her voice anymore, and I stopped struggled, and yelling, and fighting. Because I knew that the School had won. They had taken her away to do God knows what, and it was my fault.

It's shorter than usual, but I'll have another update soon. Also I'd really love it if you guys went and read and review the two one-shots I have recently posted. Oh and don't forget to review this too!

Soar on

VR