We slowly woke up to the sound of Kohta and Alice (the little girl), singing "row, row, row your boat", although that was a little inaccurate. "We're in a Hummer, not a boat." I told them, holding Erika and Saeko close to me as they were cuddling together on my chest. "Ah, besides the zombies, life is good right now." I said.
They sang it once more before Kohta decided to change it up. "Alright, now the filth version!" He said.
"The what version?" Damion asked, just waking up.
He got his evil smirk and threw one fist into the air. "Shoot, shoot, shoot your gun, kill them all right now! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Life is but a scream!" He finished, laughing evilly.
"Did he seriously sing that to a little girl?" Erika said disapprovingly.
"I approve of this." Aisu said approvingly.
"I'm about to approve my hand upside your head." Damion, Erika and I all said at the same time.
We then heard a small bang on the roof. "Hey, you fat Otaku, don't teach a little kid a filth song like that!" Saya snapped, slamming her hand down on the jeep again. "Got it?! Don't bastardize mother goose!" She ordered.
"What's an Otaku? Sounds like taco and it's making me hungry." Aisu asks.
"It means geek." I said, looking it up on Google Translate.
"Wake up, everyone! We'll get to the other side soon!" Ms. Shizuka said.
Rei woke up and blushed a bit at Takashi, before looking in slight shock and surprise at me still laying on the floor with two hot chicks, one with almost no clothes and the other in skin-tight full-body clothes, cuddling on my chest, although when the wake up call came, the started to slowly get up. "Dammit." I said.
We got up out of the water, Aisu bursting out of the left side of the Hummer, aiming his fingers like guns and Damion jumped out of the right side with the gun katana I gave him at the ready, but both quickly stood down when they realized there was no action to be found. "Aww, dammit! I was hoping to find some more walking meat sacks to showcase my fighting skills." Aisu complained, doing a couple moves in the air for lack of a substitute.
"Cool it, Ice Boy, save your energy for the real problem." Damion said.
"He's always like this, so get used to it." Erika said.
"Yep, always a badass who can kick anyone's ass in a couple minutes at most!" He smirked.
"Sai, He could survive if I punched a hole through his chest, right?" Damion asked.
"I'll stop now." He said.
"That's what I thought." Damion said with a smirk.
"That's strange... There's no one, living OR dead." Saya said.
"Not surpring." Damion said.
"The living are probably trying to hide indoors from the dead and the dead may not be near this general area. There may be more sound further off, drawing them in." I said, to which he nodded.
"That's lame. Why don't they go out and kick some undead ass like us?" Aisu asked.
"Because they aren't strong enough to smash apart the zombies with one punch or shoot ki blasts from their hands to vaporize the undead pricks." Erika said.
"They have guns and weapons. Like the vampire over there." Aisu said, pointing to Damion, who was in front of him in an instant.
"That doesn't matter when they run out of ammo or get surrounded by a horde, now, does it?" Damion said in a serious tone.
"Uh..." Aisu said, unsure of how to answer.
"Exactly." Damion said, walking away.
"Takashi, give me a hand. I'll lower Arisa down to you." Kohta said. He started to do so, but Alice put her hands down on her skirt and flinched a bit.
I turned to the 4th wall at this moment. "Yeah, this gets a little confusing, but they switch between calling her Alice and Arisa from time to time. Bear with it." I said.
"Don't look." she said. The two looked confused before she addressed the issue.
"You'll see my underwear..." She whined a bit.
They looked shocked for a moment, but Rei then snatched the girl from Kohta's grip, holding her close, unintentionally pushing her face into her boobs a bit. "Don't be so insensitive!" She snapped.
"We're going to get dressed, too, so don't you dare look!" She snapped.
The guys chuckled a bit at this, but agreed not to. "That goes for you, too, alien guy!" Saya said, pointing at Aisu.
"That's racist." I told her.
"Got it?!" She told him.
"Okay, okay, chill out!" He said. The guys all moved to the front of the Hummer as all the girls moved around back.
"So, that girl is who?" Takashi asked.
"Don't you know anything? Arisa Morisato. Her father is that newspaper reporter..." He started, before stopping and looking sad. "He was a newspaper reporter." He said.
"I'll get my brother to bring back the people who died that weren't assholes when it's all over." I said.
"If it makes you feel any better, the asshole who killed her dad suffered before he died." Aisu threw in.
"Not now, Aisu." Damion told the Icegen.
"Where's her mother?" Takashi asked.
"She said that her father told her she'd see her later." Kohta continued sadly.
"Do I really have to be the asshole that says she's probably dead?" I asked.
"Apparently. Someone had to throw it out there, though." Damion said.
We heard a giggle from the other side of the Hummer. "I brought my girlfriends clothes, so pick the ones you like!" Ms. Shizuka said.
"Thanks, but I already got mine. It's nice to have a boyfriend who can carry around everything you'd ever need." Erika said, putting on the clothes she asked me for a few minutes ago.
"One of the MANY reasons I'm a keeper." I said, to which the other guys rolled their eyes.
"Good thing I have a photographic memory!" Aisu said, trying to climb on top of the van to get a better look, Damion and I having to grab onto his tail and hold on for dear life to keep him from peeking over. "Oh, come on, just a quick look!" He pleaded.
"You seriously put up with this guy?" Damion asked me.
"He's actually really nice once you get to know him." I told him.
"I doubt that." He said.
"Hey, can I try on this jacket?!" Rei asked.
"Help yourself!" Shizuka giggled.
"Is this the only skirt you own?" Saeko asked.
The bubbly nurse giggled again at this. "Pretty sexy, huh?" She asked.
"Not bad, but I've got cuter." Erika said.
"Well, Takashi! A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!" Kohta said with stars in his eyes, giving a thumb's up with his left hand and putting his right hand on Takashi's shoulder.
"I told you I don't wanna die just yet!" Takashi said, pushing his hand off his shoulder.
"Oh, great, another perv." Damion said.
"You take ONE glance at Erika or Saeko and I'm turning you to a pile of ash!" I snapped.
"That's gonna be a lot of ash. Probably gonna take A WHILE to burn, too." Aisu said, making a couple fat jokes.
The dog then barked a bit. "Heh. You're a spunky little guy, aren't you?" Takashi asked, picking the little puppy.
"I always wanted a puppy." Aisu said, looking at him.
"He's cute, but I kinda prefer larger dogs." I said, remembering my doberman Killer and my Cerberus that goes by the name of its species.
"Hold on, you have a fucking Cerberus?" Damion asked.
"Yep. A Pitbull one. It's Goku's height when it's on all 4's. Great hunting dog." I said.
"But don't bark too much, Zero." Kohta told the puppy.
"Zero?" Takashi asked.
"Yeah, like the plane. You know, the Risen. The one used when we got our asses handed to us during the Pacific War." Kohta explained.
"Big history buff, aren't you?" Damion asked.
"Why would you name it after something that got your ass handed to you. I wouldn't name my dog after a flare gun. Flare guns are useless." Aisu said.
"In combat, anyway." I said considerately.
"Risen? You mean the Zero fighter. Oh, yeah, small and fast, just like this little guy." Takashi chuckled a bit.
"Here, use this Takashi. It's a shotgun, so all you have to do is aim around their head, you'll hit 'em." Kohta said, holding the gun out to his friend.
"AH, the shotgun, one of the best weapons for hitting someone just out of melee range. And great for leaving people in pieces." I said nostalgically.
"Oh, boy..." Damion sighed.
"But I don't know how to use a gun, a baseball bat is better for me." Takashi said.
"Well, for me and the rest of the non-humans here, fighting up close is no big issue, but for you, it isn't quite as advisable." I said.
Kohta cocked the shotgun and continued explaining. "They're cartridges. The shells are basically a casing filled with little pellets. You only have to adjust the sight, find your target and pull the trigger." He said.
"That's what she said." Aisu said, still struggling to peek over the Hummer at the girls as Damion and I still held her back.
"I can rip your tail off PRETTY easily, I hope you know that." Damion threatened.
"I'd have to ask you NOT to do that." Aisu said in fear.
"You can blast their heads off! Even a gun-moron like you can do it." Kohta continued.
"What do I do when there are no more bullets in it?" Takashi asked.
"Reload, mothafucka!" I said.
Kohta held it sideways and opened the gauge. "When that happens, open this gauge. It's really easy. You can only load 4 bullets and have one in the cartridge chamber, so keep that in mind. There's another really cool feature with this gun, one of my favorites." Kohta continued after demonstrating how to reload, but Takashi began scratching his head.
"I get confused if you tell me too much at once." He said, taking the gun.
"But I should warn you, the recoil is pretty powerful. This baby BUCKS." He said.
I laughed at this. "Oh, hell yeah. I remember, one time, my little sister Star tried to use a shotgun, it blasted her off her feet." I said.
"Worse case scenario, I'll just use it as a club." Takashi said.
"You are so hopeless." We all said at once.
"I know." He said, starting to walk off.
"Takashi!" Alice called.
We turned and were somewhat shocked by what we were seeing. They were looking GOOD! Saeko was dressed in shin-high boots, leggings that came to her upper thighs, straps connecting them under her short skirt with a slit in the right side and what looked like her regular school blazer, Rei also looking like she was wearing her school uniform with the exception of having kneepads on, Alice wearing what she already had on, Saya wearing a green short skirt, and an open white jacket, revealing the black tube top underneath (I think that's what it's called), Ms. Shizuka wearing wearing an orange diamond-patterned short skirt and white long-sleeved shirt and Erika wearing her own student skirt uniform: a black and green plaid skirt, black leggings underneath, black socks, green slip-on shoes, a black blazer over a green undershirt with a green sash hanging at her waist and a green neck-tie.
"Perfection achieved. Especially you two." I said to Saeko and Erika, causing them both to blush as the rest of the guys chuckled, Kohta and Aisu, rather pervertedly.
Rei held up the rifle she had just under her boobs. "What? You got a problem?" She asked as Takashi stared a bit at her.
"No, you look good with it, but can you shoot it?" He asked.
"I'll ask Hirano to teach me. Worse comes to worse, I'll just hit 'em with it." She said.
"Seems to be a pattern." I whispered to Damion and Asiu, who nodded.
"Oh, I'd be delighted to teach you! Perhaps you've noticed the standard issue bayonet?" He said, saying 'bayonet' rather fancily.
"We're gonna bring up the HUMV. Aisu, make yourself useful and cover us." She said.
"I'm starting to feel unwanted here." He said.
"To be fair, the only 3 members of your race we know of are assholes and the new Battle of Gods movie really didn't help." I said.
"They'd better make a good guy from my race in the new Dragon Ball series they're making." He grumbled, zipping up to the road above (fingers crossed! I really do want to see a good Icegen in the new show). As soon as he got up top, he began screaming and we heard the sounds of ki blasts firing. "Oh, god, there's so many of them!" He screamed, continuing to shoot. Damion, Erika and I all ran up to help him out, instantly deadpanning when we saw what he was actually doing. He got too worked up really fast and now was blindly firing as if he was surrounded by a horde of zombies, but there wasn't a single one to be found.
"Aisu..." I started.
"Maintain the perimeter! I need some help over here!" He continued to scream. To add insult to injury, HIS EYES WERE CLOSED!
"Aisu!" Damion called louder.
"Nooo! They got me! MEDIC!" He called desperately.
Erika walked up to him, slapped him in the face and grabbed both of his horns to force him to look her in the face. "BITCH, THERE'S NO ONE HERE!" She screamed.
"At this point, I gotta ask. Honestly, who's the dominant one in bed?" Damion asked me.
"After that, you shouldn't have to ask." I said.
"Ohhh, well this is... embarrassing." He said, looking around.
"The hell was that about?!" She demanded.
"I just got a little too excited. Like that time we had to save Bardock from a giant army of Frieza soldiers." He said.
"Yeah, and you kept firing after we already killed all of them, blasted me in the shoulder and turned Sai into Swiss cheese." She snapped.
"Thank the gods I can regenerate." I said.
"All clear." Damion said.
With those words, the HUMV zoomed up the hill and caught some air as it got to the top. That air... was right above me. (Oh, crap...) I thought, diving back down the hill as it slammed down where I had just been standing and swerved right in front of everyone else.
"This is why Asian women shouldn't drive." I said, checking to make sure I was in one piece.
[You know we're gonna catch Hell for that comment, right?]
After what almost happened to us, I'd say it's justifiable. Besides, the actual show makes the same joke!
"I guess the river didn't stop them." Saya said, looking at some damage in the city.
"I don't know why any of us thought it would be different on the other side." Saeko said.
"Well, on a positive note, this looks A LOT better than the other side. And there's a significant difference in the number of zombies. And by that I mean there are no zombies." I said, looking around.
"I'm gonna repeat that in case you didn't hear. THERE ARE NO ZOMBIES." Erika told Aisu.
"Okay, okay, I get it! It was an honest mistake!" He said defensively.
"It'd be an honest mistake if you just fired one or two shots. You fired over-" I started.
"Don't you FUCKING dare." Damion growled.
"I was gonna say a hundred." I said.
"Oh... Fair enough." He said.
"But if the police are still on the job, then maybe..." Rei started.
"Yeah, you're right. And maybe curb-side recycling is still happening too." Saya said sarcastically.
"Gonna need a senzu for that one." I said.
"Yeah!" Rei said hopefully, but then caught on the sarcasm. "Wait..." She said.
"Seeing my issue with her yet?" Damion asked.
"Yep." I agreed (true fact: Damion doesn't like Rei because she dumped Takashi for another guy while still having feelings for him and stuff).
"So, what do we do now?" Ms. Shizuka asked.
"Your house is in the 2nd block of the Higashi-Saku district, right?" Takashi asked Saya.
"That's right." She said.
"Then that's the closest one. But they... You know." He said, somewhat sadly at the end.
"I know. I'm not expecting anything. But still..." She said.
"It'll be fine." He said.
"Yeah, rich people almost always survive. They always have some big house with a lot of guards and lots of security systems. Like Damion's mansion or my family's temple." I said.
"You seriously call it a temple?" Damion asked.
"Shut up, it's totally a temple!" I snapped.
We all got in, going down the road, not encountering a single zombie for miles, but one thing did bother me. "You know, it's probably not a great idea for Takashi and the Rei to be riding on top and on the back of HUMV. One bump and they're going flying." I said.
"Plot convenience. And besides, we're not even going that fast." Damion said.
"Wow, look at all the motorcycles!" Alice said in awe, looking at the large number of them.
"They sell imported buggies and stuff like that." Kohta explained.
"I always loved motorcycles. Something about going so fast, the wind blowing through your hair and stuff." I said.
"Makes you feel free." Damion agreed, sounding peaceful for once.
"My tail drags on the ground until I get going fast and then it always hits a car or a light post when I'm making turns." Aisu said disdainfully.
"Sometimes military equipment, too." Kohta continued.
"Really?!" Alice said excitedly.
"'Sometimes military equipment, too.'" Saya mocked.
Outside, Takashi was looking up at the sky. "What's the matter?" Rei asked.
"I don't see any choppers or planes, but there were a helluva lot of 'em yesterday." He said.
"It's going to be okay, right?" Rei asked.
"Uh... Yeah, right." He said, unsure.
"Of course it is. When we finally get you guys to a safe place, the 4 of us are gonna go on a zombie-killing spree." I said.
"Look on the bright side." Rei told Takashi.
"What bright side?" He asked.
"Haven't you noticed? We haven't seen a single one of them since this morning." She said happily.
"Don't jinx it." Erika said.
Takashi was shocked for a moment at this, but then looked out like she did. "You're right!" He said.
We then get a bunch of screenshots of the town looking peaceful, just abandoned. Takashi took a moment and closed his eyes, peacefully, but then...
"It's them!" Kohta shouted, snapping everyone out of the peaceful state. "Distance, 300 meters!" He said.
"Told you not to jinx it!" Erika said as the non-humans jumped onto and into action, taking down the relatively small number down quickly with a couple bullets and/or ki blasts.
"Go to the right!" Saya instructed.
"Okay." Shizuka said, turning to the right, only for us to encounter 4 more zombies. "Oh, there here, too, oh no!" She screamed.
"Aisu!" I said.
"Okay!" He said, using the Death Slash technique, flinging a wide ki wave at them, slicing them all in half.
"Turn left there! Turn left!" Saya instructed, pointing to a path to the left.
"What's going on?! The closer we get, the more there are!" Takashi said.
"But why?! We haven't seen any of them for miles!" She said.
"We were at the edge of the city! We're getting closer and closer to the CENTER of the city where more people would be, so that's where the zombies would be!" Erika said, firing at the zombies in front of us.
"Fire, ice, lightning, wind..." I continued down my list of L'Cie spells, setting a group of zombies on fire, freezing another, electrocuting a few more, then using a burst of wind to clear out a big group in front of us.
"Just keep moving, don't stop!" Saya ordered, we began mowing down zombies with the HUMV.
"Nice! I'll pick off the stragglers!" Damion said, pulling out the gun-katana, shooting a few at a distance and slicing many more as we came in range. Things were going pretty well, until we saw something ahead.
"Oh, no!" Rei said in fear.
"Oh, shit!" The non-humans said in urgency.
"Stop the car! Stop the car!" Rei shouted. Everyone inside looked up as if they could see her, but Saya then saw the problem through a couple of zombies: a metal wire barricade.
"Jesus Christ, there's a wire! Turn the car to the side! To the side!" Saeko said, leaning up front. Shizuka managed to do so, slamming into the wires, with some zombies trapped in between the car and wire.
"Don't look! Kohta said, covering Alice's face just before blood splattered all over the windshield.
"Why won't it stop?!" Shizuka asked as we continued to move against the wire.
"The tires are locked! Take off the brake and press the gas a little!" Kohta ordered.
"What's that?!" She asked, getting slightly confused with the pedals.
"Oh, dear god, I should've drove." Damion said.
"I agree entirely." I said, bracing for when we would crash and go flying. This was GOING to happen, as we were heading straight for a wall and there sure as hell wasn't anything to hang onto.
"Hang on!" Shizuka shouted, slamming on the brakes, Rei and the non-humans going flying. Takashi reached out to try and grab her, but came just a little short, causing her to bounce off the hood and sprawled across the ground. That wasn't quite as bad as the non-humans, as I had kept flying and slammed into the wall, then before I had the luxury of falling to the ground, Erika was sent flying into my chest, breaking my ribs to go along with all the breaks and cracks in my spinal cord, Damion and Aisu also slamming into the wall. It was lucky for us the way it happened, though, as Damion and I can regenerate very quickly and Aisu was wearing his berserker suit, which is heavily armored, so he was protected from serious damage.
Rei started to get up, seeing bunch of zombies coming straight at her, freezing her in fear. Erika, being the first to recover, fired at a couple of them, but there was a small army coming our way. "Alright, I got this!" Aisu said, trying to jump into action, but failing. "What the hell?! Oh, you've gotta be kidding me, this can't be happening right now?!" He screamed in a mix of panic and rage. Unfortunately, because of the spikes of his Berserker armor, he was stuck in the wall. "Oh, come on!" He said, flailing wildly.
Damion staggered to his feet and again shot off a few round, but nowhere near enough. "Dammit! Sai, as much as I appreciate the sword, tell Lance not to make it a REVOLVER next time!" He snapped.
Speaking of me, I was still on th ground, unable to move as my spinal cord and ribs were still re-aligning themselves. "Dammit! I can't get up until my back is fixed!" I snapped, shooting various elements at zombies, but from my position on the ground, it wasn't looking good for us...