"Me first" he said, looking at me. I shrugged and nodded. "Before you start" I said. "I'm gonna warn you now Jon, I'm not going to change my mind." He nodded slowly. "Stubborn as always" he said, a slight smile playing across his lips. "I'm not going to lie to you Jordan. I thought the split was the right thing to do." I looked at him quickly. "So why are you here, reopening old wounds?" I asked quietly. "Because they're not fucking old wounds Jord!" he yelled. "They're new, and raw, and weeping! Yes, the split was the right thing to do, at the time. Not now. Now I've had time to think it over, and I know exactly where you were coming from. I didn't treat you right, and what we had wasn't a relationship. I mean, yeah, I loved you, I'm still in love with you so much you wouldn't believe it. I can't get over you Jordan. I won't. I don't want to. You asked me earlier if I was tired from the taping last night. No, I'm not. I didn't go. I got time off from Hunter. He doesn't know why, before you ask. Nobody knows I'm here apart from mom and you. I want us to work. I'm not going back until you agree to try." I nodded slowly. "Long distance doesn't work for me Jon" I said, standing up. "I'm sorry. I can't be with you any more." I left him sat on the sofa and made my way upstairs to my room.
"Why do you have to be so stubborn?" he asked quietly, leaning against the doorframe. "Please Jon" I whispered, looking up at him from the bed. "Please, just accept it. We're finished." He shook his head. "Long distance doesn't work for me either, you know" he said, crossing the room and sitting on the bed next to me. "But, it works a hell of a lot better than not having you at all. I'll take what I can get, as long as I get you. Please. Don't turn me away Jordan. I can't take it. Not again." I looked at him, surprised to see him crying. "Jon" I whispered, finally letting him put his arms around me. "You feel so good" I whispered, shocking myself. He wrapped his arms around me tighter, moving us both until we were lying on the bed. "Jon" I said quietly, trying to move. He held me tightly. "Please Jord" he whispered. "Just lie with me. Please." I nodded and put my arm around him, smiling when he sighed. "We gotta work this out" he mumbled, kissing my head.
We avoid the topic of us for the next few days. Christmas Eve Jon decided we were going to mums. "Come on Jord" he called up the stairs. "We're gonna be late!" I ran down the stairs, grabbing my coat from the hook by the door. "Well what are you waiting for?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "I don't get what the big deal is anyway, it's not as if she's expecting us. Is she?" "No" he said quickly. I shook my head and walked out to the car. He locked the house up and got in the car quickly. "Lets go" he said quietly.
"Hey" mum said, kissing my cheek as she opened the door. "You guys look great. Come on in." Jon held my hand tightly as we walked in to mums living room. "Hooray!" Lisa yelled, running over to me and hugging me. Dean walked over and shook Jon's hand. "Nice to see you again buddy" he said. I looked at them both, frowning. "You knew he was here?" I asked, looking at Lisa. She nodded sheepishly. "Please" she begged. "Give the guy a break Jord. He loves you. He took time off from work to come and be with you for Christmas." I nodded, glancing over at Jon. "I know" I said quietly. "I love him too. So much, Lis." She nodded as my mum called us to the dinner table. Jon sat next to me, putting his hand on my leg. "No matter what, Jord" he said quietly. "I love you. Always will."
We get through the meal without any hiccups. Fish and chips. Typical mum. "Just what I've been craving mom" Jon said, handing her his empty plate. She smiled and kissed his head softly before taking the empty plates into the kitchen. "Excuse me" I said, dumping my napkin on the table and following her out.
"What's the deal mum?" I asked, leaning against the worktop as she loaded the dishwasher. She shook her head. "No deal, Jordan" she said, slamming it closed and looking at me. "Just figured one of us should make the guy feel welcome after he flew all this way to be with you. Yeah, you, Jordan. Nobody else. He came for you. To spend Christmas with the woman he loves. The woman who is acting like a spoilt little child. I, I just don't know where my Jordan has gone. But you're not her." She turned her back on me and walked back in to her guests. I shook my head, knowing she was right.
"Jord?" Jon asked quietly, rousing me from my thoughts. I smiled as he walked into the kitchen, standing in front of me. "I don't even know if I can hug you" he admitted quietly. "I have to leave in two days. I don't want to hold you knowing I have to leave and I'm probably not going to see you again. Because that's what you want, isn't it? To just forget us?" I shook my head quickly, looking at him. "I'll never forget you Jon" I whispered. "Ever. You have been a huge part of my life for two years. Ok, so you haven't been here that much, and we haven't really been public, but you were still in here, you know?" I put my hand over my heart and he nodded. "You're still in here" he said, pointing at his heart. "And here" pointing at his head. I shook my head. "But you" he said. "You've erased every memory of me, haven't you?" I frowned at him. "What?" I asked. "The pictures, Jordan" he said. "Did you think I wouldn't notice all our pictures are gone from the house?" "They're in the attic Jon" I said. "They're not gone. They may not be on show, but they, and you, are still in my head." I burst into tears, putting my head in my hands. He groaned, fighting a battle within himself, before wrapping his arms around me softly. "I'm going to hell for this" he moaned, kissing me softly. "I can't leave you Jordan. I just can't. And you know I always get my own way."