After I recovered from my ultimate move and the rest of my clan restored Japan to all of its prospering glory and brought back all the people that died (except for the assholes that killed Alice's dad. And all the other people that were assholes), I decided to go on a vacation with our favorite group of survivors, both human and non-human. And I thought it might be a good chance to get more time with Saeko and Erika, maybe even extend my clan a little bit... What are you guys thinking? I meant marriage, you fools! So, we went to a little tiny, yet tropical island just off the coast of Japan, probably less than a mile away from the main island. "What the hell?! How did we end up here?!" Saya demanded, shocked.
"Oh, stop, don't tell me you've already forgotten, Saya." Kohta said, creeping up beside her. He then jumped back as her outline turned into a poorly drawn explaination of our current situation. "Sai invited us on a small yacht he clearly stole, then we sailed all around randomly because he was drunk at the wheel. And then we finally crash-landed on this island, which is luckily the island he planned on taking us to for his little vacation thing. Don't you remember?" He asked.
She then appeared beside him much larger than him and began yelling at him like always. "Yeah, I know that much, pork rinds!" She said, then broke the 4th wall and turned to the map. "And what's with this random commentary?" She asked.
"Wait, will you guys just look around at this place? It's nice!" Rei said, looking around.
"Only the best for my friends and lucky survivors of a zombie apocalypse." I said, staggering off the boat.
It's true, though, the island was beautiful. Deep blue seas (and I'm not talking about the movie), lovely white sand and palm trees with coconuts everywhere. Aisu was already out on the beach in a lawn chair with sunglasses, one of those mirror things to angle the sun at your face and a table right beside him with an umbrella drink with a slice of lemon. "Yep! Life if good, guys!" He said, soaking in the rays.
"Aisu, you are literally as black as motor oil, there is no way you can tan." Damion said.
There was a small pause before... "That's racist..." He said flatly.
"You're right, though. It is lovely here. I might actually enjoy myself." Saeko said
"I'm with you there, girlfriend." Erika said, now dressed in a sexy and skimpy black bikini, back-floating in the water.
"Oh, it's nice to find a peaceful place like this." Shizuka said happily.
"At last. I don't get many chances to relax like this. I plan to THOROUGHLY enjoy this." Damion said.
"What are you all talking about? There's nothing but sand here. Not a single thing to block the sunlight, there's no way we can stay here!" Saya complained.
"Yes we can, Saya! Look over there!" Alice said, pointing over to an abandoned beach house.
Saya was now in a state of utter disbelief. "Is that a beach house?!" She asked with her eyes wide.
"It certainly is! It is a beach house!" Shizuka said.
"Of course! I wouldn't plan a trip if I didn't plan for us a place to stay and everything." I said.
"Good for us, huh?" Alice asked.
A little bit later...
"I gotta admit, Sai, this is awesome!" Takashi said excitedly.
"Almost everything I do is awesome." I replied.
"Wow..." Damion and Aisu said together.
"We couldn't find any food since they were closed, but we can use it as shelter. And also there's lots of water for emergency use." Kohta said.
"I brought plenty of food, no need to worry." I said, laying out a giant buffet table.
"I changed my mind, everything you do IS awesome!" Aisu said, ravenously digging in.
"And besides, the merchandise is pretty sexy here!" Kohta added.
"Amen to that." Damion said.
"You're right, but look at this! This is the only thing you could find for guys?!" Takashi said, looking down at the speedo he was in, to which the other guys freaked out, our eyes on fire.
"Oh, god! My eyes! My eyes!" Aisu said, repeatedly slamming his head into the ground and dragging his face over it.
"I can't claw them out fast enough!" Damion said, trying to claw out his eyes.
"I will never be able to unsee that! For the love of all that is holy, put on these shorts or something!" I said, throwing him a pair of swim trunks, then pouring gas over my face and lighting it on fire.
"You've got no problem, Takashi! Look at me!" Kohta said, posing, wearing a one-piece bathing suit that was clearly to small for him. This caused the guys to scream again and all of us to light our eyes and faces on fire this time.
"You seem awfully happy, though..." Takashi said awkwardly.
At this moment, Saya started to walk up. "Oh. It looks good on you. Kinda." She said, we now see she's wearing a rather skimpy pink bikini.
"You have a weird sense of who looks good in what!" Aisu shouted.
She then looked at Takashi. "I'd expect nothing less from a creep like you. DEFINITELY owning the cock sock." She said.
"Pause?" Damion asked, unsure.
"And if he doesn't change into those shorts I gave him, I'm going to kill him!" I said, now blindfolded but still aiming at him.
FINALLY, he changed into the shorts and the guys could finally look again without having our vision mutilated, now all of us looking at Kohta as he hugged himself and shook awkwardly. "So why are you so unnervingly happy, anyway?" Takashi asked.
Then, Saeko was the next to step out. "It was great to be able to get out of those dirty clothes." She said, wearing a sexy white bikini with a top in a style so that the only thing that held it on was being pulled tight to her body, her hair also now in two long braided ponytails.
"Oh, wow, good job for laying out a spread like this, Sai." Rei said as she stepped out, wearing a skimpy lime green top and a matching thong... UNDER A PAIR OF JEAN SHORTS?! NOOOOOOO!
"Why would you wear something as ungodly and fanservice blocking as shorts?!" Aisu shouted while crying anime waterfall tears.
"Damn you, costume designer!" I shouted.
"I'm surrounded by idiots..." Damion said.
But then, Shizuka stepped out in a swimsuit that was BARELY tied together. "Oh... Thank goodness, I was so hungry." She said happily, eating a crescent roll (my personal favorite type of dinner roll... I'm hungry now...).
"I'm hungry, too!" Alice said, thankfully wearing a decent outfit for a child: a sun-dress or something, that's the best I can describe it. I'm not good at describing stuff. Even Zero was wearing a full body suit and a swimming cap!
Shizuka then started playing with her boobs. "It's a good thing we have all this food. If I didn't eat something soon, they were going to shrink! To double D!" She said, continuing to fondle them.
"All is right with the world. And please don't let them shrink! It'd be a tragedy!" Aisu said, putting his hands together in prayer.
"Hey, Doc, is that even possible?" Damion asked, his arms crossed, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.
"You know, as a former assassin, you should at least have some medical knowledge to know what can and can't kill people." I said, but then backed away as he started glaring at me. "Okay, calm down. And yes, that can happen: Breasts are made up of both glandular breast tissue and fatty deposits. The fatty part of the breast can be affected by weight loss and weight gain, just like any fat cells anywhere on the body. Unfortunately, there's no way we can control the areas where the body chooses to store or lose fat, which means that even if your body fat percentage is higher overall than in your younger years, there's no guarantee that the higher percentage will end up in your breasts. Your age may be playing a role in your breast appearance as well, as changing hormone levels also have a major influence." I gave a full medical explanation, shocking everyone present. "What? I was a surgeon before." I said.
"Double D?" Saya questioned.
"Wow..." Takashi said in wonder.
"It's absolutely beautiful." Kohta agreed.
So, after everyone had a decent meal, we went swimming (that waiting and hour thing is BS, I've gone swimming right after eating and nothing happened. Erika surprised everyone with a game of shark, in which she swims underwater and randomly pulls someone just below the surface for a second, except when she got to either Aisu or me: Aisu, it really looked like she was trying to drown him and with me, she held me under for a surprise make-out session, the other girls simply played and splashed in the water or relaxed on an inflatable thing-y, Aisu tried to play shark too, but his main objective was to steal the girls' bikini bottoms instead of pull them under. No wonder Erika wanted to drown him. Takashi and Kohta tried to get coconuts and fish for us later and lastly, Damion and I were racing each other back and forth a mile out and back. "You know what would be really cool, but somewhat impractical at the same time?" I asked.
"What?" He asked.
"A water martial art, where you actually fight someone in water while your swimming and stuff." I said.
This actually caused him to stop for a moment. "That is... Actually really interesting. Not a bad idea in theory, but your movements would be labored and slowed down, since the water limits your normal movement speed." He said, the two of us debating about it the whole way back to shore, in which no small surprise, I won by almost two of my full body lengths when we went full speed at the end.
"Once again, this proves I'm faster." I said proudly.
"But you'll never be as strong as me." He said dangerously.
Later that night...
We decided to cook up Kohta's fish and have it with some fresh sushi I made myself. "All of it looks so good!" Shizuka said happily.
"I try my best." I said.
"I wonder if they're ready to eat yet?" Rei asked.
"Where are Alice and Zero?" Takashi asked.
"They left to go get some water." Saya explained.
"It looks delicious, Sai, but Kohta, if I get food poisoning from your fish, I AM going to kill you." She said.
"I have to admit, I'm actually pretty impressed with tubby and the demon for once." Saya said to Rei.
"Jeez, what DOES it take to impress you. I brought you guys to this island, gave you a buffet and sushi for dinner and you're just NOW impressed?" I asked.
"Rich girls have high standards." Aisu said, to which I nodded.
Suddenly, the girls all looked tired. "Oh, I wonder if I'm too hungry. I don't know why, but I'm all sleepy now." Shizuka said, rubbing her eyes.
"Yeah, now that you say that, I feel dizzy." Saeko agreed.
"Like when you stay up way later than you should and you can barely keep your eyes open." Erika said, starting to droop down.
"Yeah, what's going on? You guys?" Rei asked, the girls covering their mouths and nose.
"What are you guys talking about, I can't feel anything." I said, looking at all of them. I did smell a weird fragrance, but I wasn't feeling anything like they described.
"Yeah, I'm fine, too." Aisu said, but then his mask retracted so he could eat, but then he looked slightly dazed as well. "Whoa, now I feel trippy." He said, moving back and forth.
"I smell something strange..." Saeko said.
"What the hell is happening? I've never felt like this before?" Damion said, starting to lay down as if he was going to fall asleep, barely holding his upper body up.
"Guys, seriously, what are you talking about?" I asked, but then looked down at the fire and realized the problem..
"This smell..." Shizuka said, standing up quickly. "Hydrangea!" She screamed
"Hydrangea?!" Kohta repeated, confused.
"Don't inhale the smoke! It's hallucinatory effect will-!" She started, but then she began to blush and started to drift off.
"What did you say?!" Takashi asked, but then he also started to fade in and out of consciousness.
Kohta suddenly tied on a headband and started dancing. "Oh, yeah! Love and peace! Peace for Vietnam!" He shouted.
"AAAAH! Hippies and fat guys dancing! The two things I despise most in this world!" I shouted, burning my eyes again.
"Do you think that little beach house is just a cover for drug dealing degenerates?! It's like Breaking Bad!" Saya thought out loud in fear, looking at the beach house.
"Never seen it, I heard it was good, though." I said. Suddenly, while not necessarily a bad thing, all the girls began to tackle me, trying to paw all over me and grab my crotch.
"Oh, Sai!" Rei said.
"Spend the night with us, Sai!" Shizuka repeated.
"Wait, I'm not into cougars! I don't have the energy for all of you and I'm saving it for MY special 2!" I said, desperately trying to push them away.
"Really, Sai? You don't like cougars?" Erika said, grabbing me by the back of the collar of my trench coat and holding me off the ground, looking at me scoldingly. "I'm a year older than you. Does that mean you don't like me?" She demanded, a ki blast in her hand.
"That doesn't count as a cougar, babe! Of course I like you, you're the sexiest Saiyan alive!" I said nervously.
"Oh, then all is forgiven." She said, holding me close and hugging me.
"No wonder she's the dominant one." Damion said before finally falling unconscious.
"Sai, be with me!" Saya said, grabbing me and trying to pull me away from Erika.
"Ain't nobody got time fo' 'dat!" I said, smacking her away.
She cringed a bit, honestly intimidating me for a moment, but then she looked back up happily. "Hit me again!" She said.
"You've got some sick fantasies, woman!" I said, smacking her other cheek, mostly to make her back off.
"PEACE AND LOVE IN 'NAM!" Kohta screamed with tears in his eyes.
At that moment, the truly worst thing that could happen HAPPENED. "Boom, para para! Boom, pa pa! Raise the King! Respect the beat!" Aisu sang as he danced, roping everyone still conscious into doing it with him.
"Oh, gods, no!" I said in horror. Luckily, we were far enough away to resist the dance's charm, then Saeko came from nowhere and grabbed both me and Erika.
"Come with me! We need to get away from here now! The effect should wear off as time passes!" She said.
"She's right! Come on, Sai, let's go! Hurry!" Erika said, quickly following Saeko
"As long as the 3 of us are together and away from them, I have no regrets." I said, following the two girls.
"No! Come back, Sai!" Shizuka said, but suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, turning to see her girlfriend, or so she thought. "Ooh, hey, Rika!" She said happily.
Meanwhile, it was actually Takagi looking back at her, believing she was seeing not the school nurse, but instead... "What are you doing here, mom?! I thought you were back home!" She said happily (Okay, I'm REALLY getting confused here: first she loves her mother, then she hates her mother, now she's got the hots for her mother- I'm so confused!).
Back with us...
We ran deep into the woods to where we finally deemed ourselves to be safe. "Okay, I think we're fine here." I said.
"Oh, we're more than fine." Erika said, throwing me to the ground, grabbing my pants and yanking them off.
Then Saeko sat down on my mid-region and easily pulled off my shirt and trench coat. "Yeah. We're also sexy and horny. I feel so hot, Sai, do something about it." She said.
"Do the same for me!" Erika said, laying down beside me.
I looked at the 4th wall at this moment. "You know what this means! I'm getting laid again! HELL YEAH!" I said, tearing off their clothes and getting to work as "Careless Whisper" began to play.
Back to the beach...
"Rika, you look a little shorter now... Oh, what does it matter?! I'm so glad you're here!" Shizuka said hugging "her girlfriend" tightly.
At the same instant, Saya pulled away from a hug with "her mother". "Look at you, mom! If I didn't know any better, I'd swear your boobs have gotten bigger!" She said (why are you looking at your mom's boobs?! Guy or girl, that's one set you shouldn't be looking at!). "Don't tell me you're still growing?!" She said in awe (I'm not sure if this changes for male and female, but you normally completely finish growing by the time you're 25. Saya's in high school now, so there's NO WAY her mother is 25 or under and is still growing).
Suddenly, "Rika" ripped off the top of Shizuka's bathing suit. "Oh! Rika!" Shizuka giggled at "her girlfriend's" antics.
Now Saya for some reason believed she was in a hot spring with "her mother" (this hallucination is REALLY inconsistent). "Oh, my goodness, this reminds me of when I was just a little girl and we'd go to the baths..." She said dreamily (I don't even want to begin to know what Saya's relationship with her parents is).
The next morning...
Somehow, we were all back on the beach, all starting to wake up, but still somewhat in our fantasies, Aisu and Kohta still dancing and Saya still believing she was nestled up on her mother's breasts. "Mom..." She said happily.
"Rika..." Shizuka said equally as happy, as she believed Rika was now sleeping up against her, using her boobs as pillows.
However, the illusion finally ended. "Mommy..." Saya said sleepily, opening her eyes, leaning back and gasping, covering her boobs as she now straddled the school nurse. "Oh, my god, what are you doing here, where's my mom?!" She asked quietly and repeating it over and over.
"I feel.. A little... Kinda like I was really high or something." Shizuka said.
Saya then looked to the left and screamed a bit as she saw Kohta and Aisu dancing, then she looked to the left a distance and saw something she couldn't believe: Erika and Saeko were locked together, holding each other close and making out. This caused her to scream loud enough to wake pretty much everyone up and I woke with a star, seeing Erika and Saeko being all sexy together WITHOUT ME! (How could this happen to me?!) The song played in my head.
"Uh... What the hell happened?" Damion asked.
Suddenly, I noticed rings on Erika and Saeko's fingers and matching rings on mine. "Best. Vacation. EVER." I said,