Stop it. Stop being like this. Kate chided herself. Just breathe. She ran her palms over her jeans, which had broken out in a cold sweat. Kate could feel her heart pounding faster than usual. Whether. out of fear, or anticipation, Kate couldn't tell.
The past weeks had been a nightmare, there was no denying it. The kind of surreal dream where a monster chases, and everyone is watching. Where the only instinct is to run. But then, had Kate's life ever been anything other than running from her fears? Kate felt as though she had lost herself in all the commotion, falling back into the sidelines.
When she had thought that Jack was dead... Kate couldn't bring herself to think about it. She clapped her hands together to hide the shaking; squeezed them together until her knuckles were white. Kate broke, as simple as that. Years ago, Kate would have been able to deal with the pain; it would have made her stronger. But something within Kate had changed.
On the island, Kate had been the strong one; the leader when Jack wasn't there. Yet here she was feeling useless... being useless. Kate saw Jacob's face looming from the shadows in her mind's eye. "You became a mother." Jacob had revoked her as a candidate simply for raising Aaron.
Kate couldn't pinpoint when it had happened. One day she independent and self reliant, saddled with a baby that she couldn't take care of. Claire's baby. The next she was a mother, gaining a different kind of strength. The kind that comes from opening up to love, and risking the heartbreak of loss in the process. And Aaron was hers from then on. Being a mother changed Kate in a way that she hadn't anticipated. Kate could no longer live for herself; every choice, every decision, affected Aaron. Aaron whom she loved.
My friends need me. Kate thought and gave her head a shake. Next to Kate, Penny raised her eyebrows but said nothing. Once again she was worried about her own childish emotional problems instead of anything important in reality. Focus on getting the job done, not on yourself. You'll be okay, you'll be okay.
Kate resolved to ignore herself, just for now. She needed to be Kate Austin; criminal... born to run. Lives are in your hands. She glanced around the van, taking in the pensive faces surrounding her. Jack was sleeping, Ben was reading with a flashlight cocked beneath his neck. No one was talking. Sawyer's jaw was set, his brow furrowed as he led them further into danger.
Kate eyed the road ahead. They had pulled off the main road and veered onto a dirt path with low-branched trees that offered the van mere inches of clearance. There was no knowing how far away they were.
Penny groaned; her hands gripped the cracked leather seats. Her breathing was staggered, coming in uneven bursts, yet her expression gave away no pain.
"You okay?" Kate whispered. Penny nodded. Kate unbuckled, leaning over to look at the wound. It had stopped bleeding, which Kate took to be a good sign, and had been cleaned by Jack. The skin around the bullet hole was red and swollen.
Kate's hands brushed the tender skin and Penny winced.
"Sorry," Kate whispered, "I forgot how much that can hurt."
Penny's eyes narrowed. "Forgot? Weren't you shot just a few weeks ago?"
"It healed pretty fast. Stuff usually does there," Kate explained. "It doesn't really hurt anymore." The van lurched forward, throwing Kate into the back of the front seat. She pressed herself away from the seat with shaking arms.
"What was that?" Jack asked through a yawn.
"Dude. Be more careful. Some of us are trying to sleep." Hurley grumbled.
"James!" Kate yelled. They were on an incline, picking up speed. "James, slow down!"
The old van barreled down the road, kicking up a flurry of dust in its wake. Sawyer's expression was transfixed, a mixture of both sorrow and joy; his hands rested limply on the steering wheel. Kate reached over the cracked leather upholstery and shook Sawyer by the shoulder, but to no avail. If Sawyer didn't pay attention, they were going to crash.
"Sawyer! Snap out of it!" Kate hissed. The tree-line was only yards away. In desperation, Kate clambered forward and smacked Sawyer around the back of his head. The tree in their path seemed to be rushing towards them, its boughs extended in an embrace.
Hurley was shouting. Ben made an effort to seize the wheel, but he was too late. The van collided with a sickening crash. Kate was thrown forward, nearly over the backs of the front seats. The airbags failed to deploy, and Sawyer's head smacked into the windshield. The engine died, the lights went out, and all was silent.
Kate's head was reeling, spinning out of control. She focused on a cluster of leaves and let her eyes complete the picture until her vision was no longer blurry. It took a few seconds, but she managed somewhat. Her sight was stick black around the edges.
"Is everyone alright?" Kate asked. She glanced around the thrashed interior. Hurley appeared to be unconscious, Penny was massaging her neck. Kate cursed herself for removing her seatbelt.
Her eyes went cloudy again. Kate rested a hand on the seat before her, her head drooping low. Steady breaths. In...out... Her heart was pounding against her chest, like it was trying to escape.
"Jack?" Please be okay, Kate thought. Kate heard someone climb over the front seats.
"I'm fine. Ben's unconscious, but I don't think he injured himself too badly. I'll check Hurley next." Jack answered. Kate breathed a sigh of relief which she followed with a sharp gasp. It hurt to breathe. Kate gingerly poked at her ribs and received an immediate stab of pain.
"Kate?" Jack voice was edging with concern. He must have heard.
"And Sawyer? Can you check him?" Kate gasped, ignoring him. There was a long pause from Jack in which Kate feared the worst. Jack made an exasperated sound.
"He isn't here. The door's open." Kate felt a pang of annoyance. What is he doing?
"Check on Penny. I'm going after Sawyer."
"Kate! You can't just leave! You might have broken-" Kate stumbled out of the van before Jack could finish. Her ribcage felt like it were cracking.
"Sawyer?" Kate examined her surroundings, clutching her ribs. The world was zooming around her, and she doubled over, coughing. Her ribs seared.
Kate looked up and saw Sawyer standing in front of a fence a few yards away, his fingers outstretched. He stepped closer in a trancelike state. Kate could make a figure on the other side, with arms reaching out. Sawyer's fingers were inches away.
Kate noticed the sign last. Above the shadowy figure, to the left. Bold, black letters spelling out a death sentence. DANGER: High Voltage. Kate staggered closer. The pain didn't matter, although it was gut wrenching. Kate was used to pain. She focused on her breathing and pressed on. In...out...in
"Sawyer stop!"
Kate came to a halt in front of Sawyer, forcing his arm down with as much strength as she could muster. She didn't notice that he was standing further back than he had been before, that he must have already noticed the warning sign and stepped back in fear.
"Juliet." Sawyer mumbled. "She was here." Kate didn't have time to argue with Sawyer. She buckled under the pain and landed on her knees, wheezing. Sawyer didn't notice. The ground was strewn with pine needles, pressing into Kate's hands. She dug her hands into the earth to get a handhold, then pressed up with her elbows.
"She wanted me to follow her. Said she was sorry." Sawyer was saying. He turned, and finally noticed Kate struggling to get back up. Sawyer sighed.
"Stay here Freckles, I'll get the doc."
Kate shook her head, but stayed down and let herself rest. "We've got to get inside. Jack'll come over here." Kate said, eying the others as they hopped out of the van. Jack took Penny's hand, and helped her step out. He asked her a question and she gestured to her shoulder, nodding.
Kate's eyes fell back on Sawyer, who was shaking, now checking the ammo the gun he had withdrawn from his waistband.
"So how exactly are we supposed to get inside?" Jack asked as he walked up to the gates, which hummed with energy. His eyes fell on Kate and he crouched down, examining her ribcage.
"Why don't ya ask Benjamin Button over there, ain't he the expert?" Sawyer asked. Ben strolled over and examined the fence. "Where's Hugo?" he added as an afterthought.
"He's unconscious, we're going to have to leave him." Jack answered without looking up. He felt Kate's rib cage, and grimaced. "You have two broken ribs Kate." He muttered, standing up. "There isn't much I can do to fix them. You're going to have to avoid damaging them further." Kate doubted that she would be able to anything about it.
"Remember the electric fence on the island? The pylons? Maybe this is similar. You climbed over the other one, we could do the same here." Ben suggested.
Kate pushed herself up using a tree for support, ignoring Jack's protests that she should stay down. She walked up to the fence, eying the large sign in big, bold letters that read: THE GATEWAY. Kate inched closer and listened.
For a minute, Kate heard only a faint hum. Then, the noise ceased altogether. Kate smiled with realization. The charge wasn't constant. It came in sustained bursts a few moments apart. To test her theory, Kate tossed a twig at the fence in between bursts and grinned when it bounced away unscathed.
Kate turned to the others, who were having an animated discussion about shovels and wire cutters. Kate grabbed the fence and rattled it to get their attention. She let go just as another burst came.
"This fence doesn't have a constant flow of electricity, it goes on and off like an animal fence." Kate said, not bothering to observe their reactions to her knowledge. "If we touch the fence when it isn't humming, it won't shock us, but if we are touch it and a burst comes, we become part of it."
"Well, aren't you full of surprises, freckles." Sawyer grumbled.
"I used to work on a farm," Kate explained, "there were fences like this one surrounding the property so the animals didn't escape. The farmer made sure I understood simple circuitry so I wouldn't get shocked."
"Why would a mental hospital have an electric fence?" Penny asked. She looked at the distant building with disgust.
"Because the Dharma initiative were power hungry and experimented on the weak?" Sawyer offered. Kate had to force down a laugh. Just weeks ago, Sawyer had been proud to wear a Dharma jumpsuit and guard the fence from the hostiles.
Thinking of the pylons gave Kate pause. That fence was on even when it didn't make noise. This could be a trick.
"Wouldn't Eloise have noticed that the fence isn't a constant charge?" Kate wondered. Kate's survival instincts were kicking in. Something about this wasn't right. It was too easy. Eloise isn't stupid. If I can figure this out, then she can.
"Who cares?" Sawyer asked. "It's lucky for us that she didn't. Now we have a way in."
"If I can time it right, I may be able to slip through before a burst." Jack noted. "Then maybe I can find a control box." He stepped closer to the metal, listening with his eyes closed.
"No..." Ben muttered. "This is too simple. Eloise Hawking doesn't make mistakes. She has a plan, trust me on that." Kate felt that relief that Ben was backing her up; the others were more likely to listen. Ben doesn't make mistakes either.
"Are we just gonna stand here and talk about it all night? Our friends are in there! We have to take the chance." Sawyer argued. He looked to Jack.
Jack nodded. "Sawyer's right. The more time we spend out here, the more time for Eloise to have Claire, Charlie and Desmond moved where we can't find them. I have to try. Besides, if worst comes to worst, we'll just have to find a different way through." Jack took a deep breath.
Kate gasped and clamped a hand to her mouth; she couldn't help herself. Where Jack had been standing was a churning pillar of white smoke. She hadn't been the only one disturbed. Sawyer had leapt back, nearly hitting Ben with his arm.
The smoke twisted, angling toward the fence. It inched closer, stretching out thin tendrils to the metal. It seemed to be waiting. Kate had to remind herself that this shapeless cloud was Jack, and that he was waiting for a pause in the charge. The idea that smoke could think and make decisions was ridiculous to Kate, yet here it was, happening before her very eyes.
In a burst of movement, Jack passed through. He rematerialized on the other side, unscathed. For a second, Kate felt like a balloon inflated inside her chest. Then, the lights came on.
Bright light illuminated the field and surrounding trees, exposing them all. An alarm sounded, so loud that Kate clapped her hands to her ears. She eyed Sawyer, who was shouting curses that she couldn't hear.
Jack ran off, probably to find a switch box. Kate hit Ben in the shoulder and pointed to the trees. He nodded, and relayed to message Sawyer and Penny. Kate ran, only hoping that the others followed. They couldn't be seen. We can't let them see us.
For what felt like hours, the alarm blared. Kate could only hope they were hidden well enough. If her ribs weren't broken, Kate would be climbing the tree beside her, free from the reach of Eloise. But now, all she could do was hope that Jack knew what he was doing.
Sawyer kicked a tree. Kate focused on her breathing, trying to concentrate the pain every breath brought.
The lights went out. The alarm ceased seconds later. The silence that followed was broken only by the wind whispering softly through the trees and the uneven breathing of people trying to hold their breath.
"Do ya think the doc pulled through?" Sawyer asked. Ben shrugged.
"We'll know in a minute." Kate answered, eyeing a break in the trees for signs that Jack was alright.
Kate felt a prickle on the back of her neck. A hand touched her arm. "Katie," a male voice whispered. Kate's spine gave a jolt. She hadn't been called that since she was a girl, except for... It brought back too many memories.
Kate turned. It wasn't Sawyer… it wasn't Jack. It was the one person who absolutely shouldn't be there. He was supposed to be dead. "Come with me Katie," he said.
"Tom," Kate whispered. She stared at the man in scrubs and a lab coat, the very clothes he had died in, the man whose death she had been responsible for. Tom, who had a baby boy and had helped Kate when no one else would. Tom, whom she had left dead in his car.
"What was that freckles?" Sawyer asked. He turned around to look, but Kate was already gone. Tom had grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of sight.
"Stop it!" She hissed.
"Katie, it's me. It's Tom."
"Stop calling me that, you aren't Tom. Tom died years ago." Kate said. I'm just imagining him, he isn't real, he can't be real.
Tom rolled his eyes, "I can prove it." He took a breath and ran a hand through his hair. When he lifted his arm, Kate could see the blood on his clothes, right near his chest, and felt her own skin go cold, as cold as his. "You came and visited me. We dug up our time capsule, remember? I helped you talk to your mom... I tried anyway." Kate noticed that he omitted her getting him killed. The memory nearly brought her to her knees.
"Tom. I am so sorry. Your little boy-" Kate choked out. Her eyes stung. It didn't matter if she was hallucinating or not, whether Tom was actually here; she had held this weight in her chest for years.
"Listen, Katie, we don't have much time. I need to tell you something. This place isn't what you think. Eloise can get information from you by using the people you've lost. If you see anyone that shouldn't be there, someone who should be dead, don't tell them anything. Don't let them help you. Eloise could be listening."
"How do I know I can trust you? What if Eloise is listening right now? She could be trying to keep my friends from getting help." Kate wrenched her hand away and folded her arms across her chest.
"You don't," Tom moved closer, and Kate could smell the sharp scent of isopropyl alcohol, and the sickly sweet smell of blood. Kate tried to push him away, anything to get the smell and the memory away from her. She felt moisture and realized his blood was on her hands. Kate nearly laughed at the irony. Tom wiped away a tear that Kate hadn't realized was there. "You don't have to believe me," Tom said evenly, "But Katie, you owe me this."