Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

RETROSPECT

FORGOTTEN

Being an adult was difficult.

Itachi was quickly learning just how strenuous it was to take care of a child, of a house, of work and of himself. A year ago, taking care of himself would have meant staying alive during missions and his only duties around the Uchiha household had been to keep his own room clean. It was an easy life, Itachi thought wistfully.

In order to keep Sasuke in his care, Itachi had become the legal guardian of his younger brother. He remembered, as he had signed the documents, thinking that it wouldn't change the relationship he and Sasuke had. He would always be Sasuke's brother before his parent.

But the distinctions between brother and parent were growing blurrier every day. He had to make sure Sasuke was eating the right food and not over-working himself, as a parent would, but also play with and talk with Sasuke as a brother.

Itachi didn't want to become a parent to Sasuke. He wanted to be his brother. But he also wanted to be the one to take care of Sasuke. And he couldn't have all those things, it seemed.

Before the massacre, Itachi would have allowed Sasuke to use weapons for training that were strictly off-limits to even Genin, because he was Sasuke's older brother and those things didn't matter. Now when Sasuke asked to practice with a katana, Itachi denied him. It would be irresponsible to let a boy of Sasuke's age anywhere near a weapon he wasn't ready to use.

Sasuke had huffed and remarked,

"You never used to baby me." Since becoming Sasuke's guardian Itachi was realising that, say Sasuke got hurt using a dangerous weapon, the blame would come immediately to Itachi (and so it should). If he were just Sasuke's brother instead of his guardian anyone would brush off accidents as just boys being boys, fooling around. Itachi never thought he'd crave the old days so much.

Keeping the house clean was another thing that was a new and constant weight on Itachi's mind. He was a meticulous and orderly person and cringed at the first sign of dust. If Itachi had ever complimented his Mother on how clean she had kept the Uchiha household he did not remember it. It was taken for granted. And now the cleaning was Itachi's job.

He could have hired someone but the thought of someone else arranging things in his house was far worse than when Itachi took on the work himself. Itachi didn't think it was fair to ask Sasuke to help out – Itachi had never been asked to clean the house when he was growing up so why should Sasuke have to do it? – although they had agreed that Sasuke's room was his room to keep tidy.

Handling bills was a new responsibility Itachi found more bothersome than cleaning. He didn't fully understand the jargon that came with the letters demanding money, or why the water bill had to cost so much. It was especially difficult to keep pace with the growing demand for money because Itachi was taking fewer missions than he had ever done. He earned just enough not to fall into debt and refused to take any charity, although a pay check from the Hokage for Itachi's 'duties to the village' did not go amiss on occasion.

Every day, every week, Itachi found his mental list of 'Things To Do' getting longer and longer. It was like reaching the end of a marathon only to find that there was even more of it to run and you had to keep going. One week the boiler needed fixing, the fridge needed stocking up and there was washing to be done. And by the time that was done the lock on the front door had broken, there were ants in the kitchen, Sasuke needed new shoes and the house needed cleaning. And when that was finished they needed more food, a lightbulb needed replacing, Itachi needed to collect a prescription and it would never end.

One thing had to be prioritised over another and Itachi went to bed most days feeling inadequate about himself. He was becoming more acquainted with stress which, coupled with the debilitating effects of the Mangekyo Sharingan on his body, made Itachi thinner and weaker than ever. He became forgetful which was not like him. He stopped noticing the little things, like the way Sasuke seemed to cling tighter to him whenever they hugged these days, or his downcast expression and silence when Itachi had completely forgotten about his promise to train him that evening.

And the little fact that both him and Sasuke were alive and well, which against all the odds was pretty incredible in itself, let alone in the context of their turbulent lives, was what receded so far into the back of Itachi's mind that he failed to appreciate it at all.

There was too much to do, so little time. Juggling work, household duties, finding time for himself and time for Sasuke was a feat that was bound to fail.

One time Itachi had taken Sasuke into the Konoha market on an expedition for food and other essentials. Unlike other children his age, Sasuke never complained, made a ruckus or wandered off. It was another blessing Itachi had failed to notice and his 'To-Do' list felt longer than ever that day. He had to hand in a mission report by the end of the day which he had left a bit late, order a special medicine by that afternoon if he wanted it to arrive sometime next week instead of next month and cook dinner for him and Sasuke as well as find time to prepare for another mission in two days' time.

So, in a hurry, Itachi dashed about the market, Sasuke trotting at his heels like a loyal puppy and twice stopping Itachi from accidentally leaving stall without paying for what he had picked up. Itachi had to get the shopping home and then he wanted to get his new prescription ordered in. He didn't want to drag Sasuke all the way home just to put the shopping away and then drag him all the way out to the town again

Apart from times of crisis, Itachi was forbidden from leaving a child of Sasuke's age at home by himself, thanks to some law the Hokage had passed several years ago - another of the frustrating things Itachi had dealt with continuously since becoming guardian to Sasuke. However, a sly idea formed. He wasn't allowed to leave Sasuke home alone but he could surely leave Sasuke at the park, just for a few minutes. In a rush Itachi told Sasuke to wait at the nearby park for him. It would only be for a few minutes that Sasuke would be left alone, Itachi thought to himself as he ran back home, and he would pick him up on the way to the hospital.

He hadn't realised how much time had flown by at the market and ran at break-neck speed to the hospital to get his prescription ordered in time. The ordering process took a little while for this particular medicine, as it had to be brought in from another country, so by the time it was done Itachi had to run home again in order to write and get his report handed in on time.

It was a hasty, sloppily written description of events and logging although it still took the rest of the afternoon to write. 'Just in the nick of time' didn't cut just how close Itachi had come to his report being handed in late – and Itachi never wanted to add 'handing in a report late' to his list of accomplishments in life.

The sky had grown dark as he trekked back home for the third time that day, the air still carrying the last chilly bites of the winter cold. Itachi hated how the weather was too warm one minute and too cool the next during the months building up to summer. He wished it could just stay cold or stay hot. Why did the weather have to change and complicate things?

Slowly, Itachi walked to Sasuke's room to ask what he wanted for dinner, since Itachi didn't feel like he had the energy left to make a decision himself. When he opened the door, Itachi was met with an empty room.

I thought I left him here…

It took a full circuit of the house before it finally dawned on Itachi. It felt like he was on a rapidly sinking ship with the realisation of what –who - he had forgotten.

Faster than he had run all day, Itachi sprinted to the park where he had told Sasuke to wait for him. How long had Sasuke been waiting there? It must have been at least four hours, if not more. And was he still there? Had he been kidnapped, wandered somewhere else because clearly Itachi had forgotten about him?

When the park came into view, Itachi searched for his younger brother as he continued to run towards it. The relief he felt when he saw Sasuke sitting on a swing and morosely staring at the ground, could made Itachi yell in joy right then.

He skidded to a halt in front of Sasuke and could see from the accusatory look his brother gave him that Sasuke indeed knew that Itachi had forgotten about him and was not happy about it. Itachi forced him into a tight hug anyway, whispering and spluttering apologies.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't – I would never, on purpose, never again, forgive me – so sorry…"

Sasuke didn't say a word until they were both back home.

"Did you forget about me because there's stuff more important to remember than me, or because there's too much to remember besides me?"

It was an odd thing for a child to say. Itachi was expecting some sort of blatant 'I hate you' or 'you're the worst big brother ever' to be said to him.

"There's nothing more important in my world than you, Sasuke," Itachi spoke earnestly. The sombre look didn't leave Sasuke's face.

"But there's too much for you to do now, isn't there? And I know some of that is caused by me, which I don't want it to be, and you're not you when you have to do everything."

Sasuke was skirting around the issue but the heart of it was loud and clear nevertheless.

'I miss my big brother.'

It was true, Itachi realised, that he'd been neglecting Sasuke recently. Before, in the old days (days when their Clan was alive), Itachi could afford to not spend time with Sasuke because their father or mother or cousin would fill in the space. Itachi was all that was left for Sasuke now.

Despite the blow to his pride and the nails-on-chalk-board feeling that accompanied it, Itachi hired someone to clean the house once a week, took even fewer missions and accepted the charity that was benignly given to him, by both strangers and friends.

He let the Hokage give him larger sums of pay checks for his 'duties to the village', let people give him discounts on their wares and accepted handy advice about anything and everything that could make his life easier. Of course, Itachi still only let Kakashi babysit Sasuke – he wasn't going to leave his little brother with anyone else, not matter 'how good with kids' they were. It was unfortunate but he'd rather have Kakashi look after his brother, who read obviously risqué books around Sasuke but could protect him rather than a person who was completely child-friendly but couldn't save Sasuke from a fly.

Most importantly, Itachi found time to hang out with Sasuke again and, eventually, he felt fully like his brother again, rather than his parent.

Should he have remained a brother to Sasuke, or accepted the role as his parent? There was never any doubt in Itachi's mind that he had to be the one to raise Sasuke, but whether he had gone about it the right way….

He wondered if things would have turned out differently if he had been a better guardian.

I was going for one of those 'child got left at the store' scenarios. Has that happened to anyone else? One time my dad was driving me to school, forgot I was in the back seat of the car and drove to work instead. I was really away with the fairies when I was a kid (still am) so I kind of didn't notice we were going the wrong way until he did.

Sorry this chapter didn't really go anywhere, but hopefully it was enjoyable nonetheless. Team 7 might make an appearance soon – how exciting!

A massive thank you to gentleflam51, akasukifangirl, Shirayuki Hime999 and Guest for reviewing.

gentleflam51: Thank you for reviewing each chapter, I really do appreciate it! Haha, I feel like part of my goal for this fic has become to indoctrinate people with hatred for Danzo. I know I still made Sasuke join Orochimaru and I'll get on the reasoning behind that in a later chapter.

akasukifangirl: Hmm, pride could be used for a chapter theme. It would fit pretty nicely, with the whole Uchiha pride and general upholding of Clans in Konoha. And pride is a deadly sin – the worst one apparently. Thank you for the idea, I may just have to use that!

Shirayuki Hime999: I'm glad you liked last chapter, especially because I wrote it when I felt a bit out of sync with this fic so it's good that chapter wasn't a complete disappointment!

Guest: Thank you so much! It's really good to know that this story isn't one of many similar plots and that you've enjoyed reading it! I'll try my best to keep it up

Thanks for reading,

Cipher.