Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
RETROSPECT
DEFECT
Fingers drummed against a wooden surface, as steady as the tick-tick-ticking of a clock. The man propped his head on his left hand, a frustrated breath huffing from his nose.
He had carefully planned this. Everything was so delicate; a simple look in the wrong direction could cause everything to shatter like a porcelain vase. It almost killed him to have to rely on something so fragile.
That Uchiha boy was the key to his plan. The missing puzzle piece. Everything would fall into place.
Everyone just had to play their part.
…
Sasuke preferred to be alone these days. He liked to have quiet. He liked to have peace.
The silence made it easier to think.
Since the Chunin exams the air in the village had been thick with grief. The beloved Third Hokage was dead, sacrificing himself in an attempt to take Orochimaru into death with him.
Sasuke had pretended not to hear, but he had heard Itachi crying one night, mourning the loss of the Hokage, saying things like, 'why did he have to die?' through his tears. He also pretended not to notice the way the bags under Itachi's eyes had grown heavier and darker, the bruise-like crescents not unusual for his look now.
Itachi had been more attentive to Sasuke since the conclusion of the Chūnin exams. Sasuke could guess that Itachi was blaming himself for what happened, cursing the fact that he was away on a mission when Sasuke and the village needed him most.
It just made Sasuke feel worse about everything. He had thought that perhaps, just maybe, things were getting better. He had begun to like and appreciate his teammates, he thought he had excelled in his training and the memory of that night had finally started to fade.
Things never got better.
Those high-up enough to be told that Sasuke had Orochimaru's Curse Mark were watching him like jailers watch an S-rank criminal. Sasuke was never approached by them, never taunted or abused. But he knew they were concerned. They tip-toed around him and the issue they were all most worried about: that Sasuke would join Orochimaru.
It had been explained to him that Orochimaru was something of an immortal. He could transfer his soul from body to body with a Jutsu that, in essence, could allow him to live forever. Sasuke, with his Sharingan and Uchiha blood, had caught Orochimaru's eye as a candidate for his next vessel.
No, he was more than a mere candidate by now. He was a prize, an object that Orochimaru wanted. The Snake-Sannin would train Sasuke, mould him just the way he wanted, and then transfer his soul into his body.
And yet, Sasuke couldn't quite come to hate or fear the man enough to forget about his tantalising offer. He had said something about the massacre, something about what really happened.
Furthermore, the man could train Sasuke. Despite his best efforts in the Chūnin exam – learning to use the Chidori, facing off against Gaara of the Desert and that beast inside of him all the while fighting the Curse Mark that threatened to consume him – the village had seen fit to keep him at Genin rank.
Was it because of the Curse Mark? Did they fear him, or perhaps resent him because he represented a threat? The more he thought about it, the more he began to hate the village. To the people of the Leaf, he was a defect. Something that shouldn't be and that they were only tolerating, like a person tolerates a cold, just waiting for it to go away.
As his love for his village waned, so did his respect for it. Sasuke broke into vaults where information was stored, intent on finding the official report of the Uchiha massacre and anything related to it.
Sasuke had that dream too, that memory disguised as a dream, about the man that had almost killed him, just like he had killed the rest of his family. On the night of the massacre, that man had muttered something crucial.
"The brilliant Uchiha taken down by five 'mere' ANBU. It hardly matters that the other five didn't show up."
It had become an infuriating maths problem that taunted Sasuke over and over.
Five ninjas apparently took down the entire Uchiha Clan.
Five other ninjas who were supposed to help never showed up.
Seven ninjas were accused of the crime and reported dead.
Only two of the perpetrator's bodies were recovered.
How many ninja were responsible for the murder and who were they? Show your working.
No matter how Sasuke looked at it, the numbers were not adding up. Although he didn't understand, he knew there was something important buried underneath these numbers – the truth behind his Clan's unjust murder.
No reports of the massacre mentioned missing bodies. The only conclusion Sasuke could arrive at was that some of the perpetrators had been killed so violently that there was not much left to recover of their bodies. Perhaps incinerated by an Uchiha's Firestyle attack as his Clan fought back.
It seemed that the only way to know for sure about all of this was to-
"Sasuke?"
Startled, Sasuke grabbed for a kunai at the pouch on his leg, out of reflex, and turned around.
Itachi was standing in the open doorway to his room. His eyes widened as he saw the kunai Sasuke had half-raised, brows knitting together in concern.
"Are you okay? You were just staring at the wall. I knocked but you were lost somewhere," Itachi said quietly, as if speaking to a skittish animal and stepping into the room in a manner to match.
Sasuke put away his weapon, cursing his lack of attentiveness. Weakness. Always weakness.
"Sorry. My mind was elsewhere," Sasuke said, looking away from Itachi. He didn't want to tell Itachi about his suspicions of their Clan's murder. Itachi wouldn't understand. He trusted the village too much to question its honesty or benignity. There was a defect in the village that he would turn a blind eye to.
Besides, Sasuke had to be careful with what he said about the village. Any flicker of ill-intention towards Konoha and he would be put behind bars, he was sure of it. Anyone would assume that he had succumbed to Orochimaru's influence and wanted to destroy the Leaf. He could feel the eyes watching him even now, waiting for him to slip up.
"Are you sure you're okay? Is the Curse Mark giving you trouble?" Itachi's voice was soft.
"I'm fine," Sasuke snapped, regretting it even before he said the words. But he had to keep everyone at a distance. He couldn't let anyone see his pain, or his confusion.
Itachi flinched as if he had been struck, but backed off, letting Sasuke be.
As soon as the door was shut, Sasuke started preparing himself for that night.
He was going to visit the Uchiha District.
…
Sasuke wasn't one to believe in ghosts, or the supernatural. Haunted houses and evil spirits were simply human imaginings.
However, walking through the Uchiha District, Sasuke could admit that some things had an aura of wrong about them. The night was deathly silent and still, the way the summit of a mountain is eerily quiet in calm weather.
The Uchiha District had been left virtually untouched since the investigations of the Uchiha massacre came to an end just under five years ago. Several buildings had been knocked down and parts of the ground dug up where the investigation teams had been searching for clues as to exactly why the Uchiha were murdered. Their searching proved fruitless and they had called it quits.
It was a truly disgusting sight, to see his Clan's Distract like this. It was like when a group of tourists camped in a field and left all their litter when they moved on, except far worse. This wasn't some field or forest that had been abused.
It was Sasuke's home that had once sheltered his family, all decent and proud people. Sasuke let that thought move his legs, pushing him to walk further into the District. He was still scared, but also angry. Part of him felt like a child again, walking through this place. He had been so helpless that night.
His goal was to find evidence that the five missing bodies of the ANBU defectors had been obliterated somehow, which would justify that only two of the perpetrators bodies had been found. If he could find evidence of the Firestyle being used, or anything that could lead to a person's body being destroyed, Sasuke promised himself that he would go home, forget about everything Orochimaru had said, and continue his life as a Leaf Village ninja.
Sasuke could be dishonest and disloyal to others but he never lied to himself. After all, the only person anyone can rely on is themselves.
Slowly and methodically, he searched every house, every street, every nook and cranny for evidence of a battle or struggle. It didn't help that the investigation squad had left everything in such a mess, but his Sharingan could see things their eyes had not. He could find that crucial missing piece and finally put his mind at ease.
He found nothing though. No evidence of a fight or a powerful attack that might have destroyed a body.
Sasuke walked morosely through the streets after his long search, deep in thought. What was the next step? To seek out Orochimaru?
The air didn't feel right. Sasuke concentrated and froze when he felt it. The presence of another. Was it someone who had been watching him, coming to confront him? He stood still and let this presence come to him. It didn't make sense to run. That was like announcing that you had been up to no good. This was his District, he had a right to be here, regardless of any hazard tape that might be put over the entrance.
The presence took its time, walking slowly towards Sasuke. The moon was bright and Sasuke's sharp vision aided him as peered into the dark, trying to see who it was.
He did not expect it to be Danzo.
Sasuke was sure than Danzo was some sort of high-ranking official. He had been close to the Hokage, Sasuke recalled. Why was he here though?
"I would have thought this is the last place you'd want to be, considering the history that happened here," Danzo said as he drew closer, stopping several metres away from Sasuke. A long distance away.
"It won't keep me out of my home," Sasuke bit out, not caring that he probably ought to be more respectful towards a member of the village that ranked as highly as Danzo. Sasuke suddenly remembered that Danzo was also affiliated with the ANBU. Itachi had said something about it to him. Was he here because he knew that Sasuke had figured out that the reports were wrong?
Danzo seemed to muse on Sasuke's words for a moment.
"I'm sure no one suffered what happened here more than you did. To know what truly happened that night is something I wish for constantly. Any opportunity to know for certain would be a glorious gift indeed. The ANBU who defected surely must have had more reason to slaughter an entire Clan than mere jealousy? Not knowing can do more damage than any weapon a ninja might wield." The old man smiled. "Sorry, just thinking to myself. I sometimes ponder this District, hoping the answer might come to me. I will leave for tonight, and let you have some peace."
Danzo turned and left, walking just as slowly as he had come.
He certainly seemed to be a strange man, Sasuke thought. A wise old man, maybe? Sasuke turned his thoughts to more pressing concerns.
Orochimaru. He claimed to know what happened to his Clan. Did he know because he had something to do with it? Sasuke felt the pull of the Curse Mark.
He craved the knowledge.
But was he prepared to give himself over to Orochimaru to get it?
…
As the weeks passed by, Sasuke grew more irritable and violent. Naruto was being trained by the Sannin Jiraiya, growing stronger every moment. And one day Sasuke had reached the end of his tether.
With Sasuke hospitalised after another mission, Naruto had come to his room, acting as if nothing was wrong in the world.
In Sasuke's world, nothing was right. The lure of Orochimaru itched at him, he fought hard every day to keep the Curse Mark at bay and he was constantly trying not to think about his Clan's murder. As he thought more about it, the angrier he became, because the thought of murderers walking away unpunished from killing his Clan made him see red.
But the largest problem lately was that he remained weak and couldn't get stronger. His training almost seemed to be on hold. There were no new abilities to learn, no challenges to push him.
Orochimaru had spoken the truth. The village really was going to hold him back, possibly forever. Forever a Genin, forever a mediocre ninja.
Sasuke had challenged Naruto and might have killed or seriously injured him if he hadn't been stopped. He couldn't bring himself to care. He hated the sight of that idiot, smiling all the time. Couldn't he see that there was no reason to smile?
And then Kakashi tying him to a tree and lecturing him irked him even more. Kakashi, as his teacher, should have been training him to become stronger. Why wasn't he?
And then the Sound ninja.
Sasuke had known that the longer he waited, the more likely it was that Orochimaru would come to him. Or at least his lackeys.
He wasn't ready for them and still dithered over whether to join Orochimaru. He remembered the one with blue hair holding him by the ankle, taunting him.
"Well? What's it gonna be?"
No matter how he fought, they brushed him off, a constant reminder that he wasn't strong enough. And that he would never be strong enough if he didn't join Orochimaru.
The woman had calmly told him,
"Lord Orochimaru offers you power and the knowledge of what happened to your Clan. Is that really something you want to throw away?"
This could be his only chance to know what happened. Perhaps it was all a trick. But what life did Sasuke have in the village that was worth staying for? What did he even have? People surrounded him that didn't understand and held him back.
Except Itachi.
But even Itachi wouldn't understand. He was too loyal to the village. Sasuke had never felt so alone. Maybe Orochimaru was the one that understood him most now.
He saw that Sasuke wanted to become stronger, that he wanted to know what happened to his Clan. And there was a chance he would give it to him.
Would it be worth sacrificing himself over? To let Orochimaru use his body as his next vessel?
Knowledge is power. And it always comes with a price.
Edited 3/7/15
Ughhh, so much angst! This chapter is pretty awful, I know, but it was the best I could do. This is normally where most people get annoyed with Sasuke's character but it's where I find sympathy. I mean, underneath it all, he's just scared and confused.
Thank you to gentleflam51, Guest, SilverXF and jmtothemusic for reviewing last chapter.
gentleflam51: I want to focus on Itachi next chapter so I will probably put more of his reaction to Orochimaru in the next one. Hopefully you'll stick around We get back to the main story next chapter; no more Retrospects!
Guest: I'm glad you liked Sakura. I'm always torn between not liking her and liking her. She is a pretty badass character in Shippuden but, as you said, before that she is loyal and clever as well. She gets overshadowed by all the male characters a lot. Thank you for leaving a review!
SilverXF: Haha, I know my language is very formal. It's both a good and bad habit. Some screaming would make them more human and probably more in character. I'll keep working on it
jmtothemusic: It was really fun to write for Team 7 so I'm glad you liked that I'm pretty terrified of what I might write when the brothers will inevitably come to some sort of reveal of the truth.
I know this chapter really isn't my best work but hopefully I can make up for that in the next chapter.
Thanks for reading,
Cipher.