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FUGITIVES 50TH CHAPTER SPECTACULAR (PART 2)
Lupo
Darkness consumed me, slowly inching its way through my body and devouring any signs of light. It moved silently, working its dark magic to shut me down, ruining me, turning me into nothing. Just a simple mass of flesh and bone laying on fabric. Brokenly staring at the pale white wall in front of me, my eyes not truly looking at the wall, but past it. Towards yesterday, towards a week ago. The farther backwards I let my mind travel, the closer I got to my baby. The closer I got to the one thing I had thought nobody would take away from me. But they did.
Somewhere downstairs, the faint hum of Christmas music threatened to dance inside of my ears, force a smile to my face, will me to stand up, but the darkness, the guilt ,the pain; it all weighed me down, whispering sweet nothings of death. If I just laid here; if I didn't move, if I didn't blink and let everything blur out of focus; I could almost picture being dead. It wasn't any better than right now, but at least dead I wouldn't have to force myself to stand up every few hours, or watch Iggy suffer.
"Lupo," a voice whispered, and I automatically knew who it was. It was hard to forget the voice of the person you loved; even in the foggy state of mind the darkness had pulled me into. "I know it's hard on you right now, but maybe, maybe you should come downstairs. You always loved the smell of Christmas trees, and we actually have one this time," Iggy kneeled down in front of me, blocking my view of yesterday; forcing me to focus on his light blue irises and all the other blues that swirled in them. I didn't want to see the hurt there though, so I closed my eyes. I didn't want his pain to start dangling above me along with my own. It would be too much. I'd be crushed from the weight of it all. "Please Fruit Loop, for me?" I felt his cold, nimble fingers intertwine with my own, and part of me wanted to squeeze his hand to breaking point, to lean into him and cry myself to death, but I knew I couldn't do that. It'd be easier for him to see me lifeless than to hear me cry. I heard his sigh and felt a small squeeze before his hand fell away from mine. He must have stood up to leave, because a small breeze drifted towards me. Along with something… off. Had I been myself, I would have been more curious as to what was wrong with the scent in the air, but I couldn't be bothered with such little things. I could barely be bothered with the big things.
Iggy left the room, shutting the door behind him. No, slamming it. He was angry. With me and my lack of response. Maybe with himself for not being able to crack my shell like he of all people should be able to. I listened quietly as his footsteps fell on each creaky step before finally deciding that maybe just for tonight I could stand up and walk out of this room, and just maybe I could see Iggy's smile again and be swept off my feet into a dream land where everything was okay.
After much thought, I took a deep breath and forced myself into a sitting position. This is for Iggy, I thought, resting my hands on the edge of the bed and gripping the sheet. I stared at the carpeted floor below me with mild intimidation; the weight of the darkness pulling at me, attempting to drown any and all light Iggy had shoved through the cracks. Cautiously, I set one foot down on the carpet, willing that small candle that was lit inside of me to push the darkness away. Then my second foot came down next the other and suddenly I was standing. I almost smiled. I was standing, and not just to go to the bathroom and freshen up; to go outside of this room. To have fun.
You don't deserve fun, the darkness snarled, pushing me down. I let out a sudden gasp of air, stumbling into the wall. The truth always hurt. This hurt. I didn't deserve it. I felt tears well up in my eyes at the thought that my baby could be dying or dead right now, and I even dared to think about fun. But I wasn't doing this for fun, I had to remind myself. I was doing this for Iggy. I was doing this to see a smile on his face. Not to see one on mine.
So, with the kind of determination I used to have beginning to crawl back into me, I stumbled into the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for my first downstairs appearance since we got here.
123
For a long time I sat at the top of the stairs, partially hidden by the dark gray walls that hid the hallway from view downstairs. I sat there and peered down at my friends curiously, listening to the obnoxiously loud Christmas music.
Max and Fang had been hopping all over the house together, sharing sweet kisses every once in awhile after he spun her around. They smiled and laughed together, their hands never leaving one another's. Stuck together with their sickeningly sweet love for each other. "So, what kind of Christmas present do I get tonight?" Fang asked slyly, and had I not still been trying to wake myself up, I might have rolled my eyes and replied for Max. Why don't you ask the couch since that's where you'll be tonight? I stiffened at the sarcastic words that roamed through my mind, realizing how I was already so easily forgetting my pain. It scared me inside to think that I could ever forget such a thing. How could you forget losing your baby? Not forgetting, just putting yourself in dream land for a few minutes. I wished that was it.
"Whatever's under the tree," Max shrugged innocently, and somewhere inside of me, the Lupo I used to be scoffed. That was the best she had?
"Well you better get under there then," Fang joked and Max just shook her head at him before placing a long, passionate kiss on his lips. Watching the pair together made me think of Iggy, but he wasn't in sight. Right now he was in the kitchen, cooking up a Christmas dinner fit for all the kings in the world. I wished I could sneak by the four people in the living room and just be with him. He's what I wanted right now; not these people. I didn't want the looks of pity, or apologies, or maybe even spite from my 'friends', I just wanted Iggy.
Ari and Nudge sat each sprawled out on a couch of their own not to far from Romeo and his Juliet. They were going back and forth, saying words I couldn't quite hear. However I could tell what they were playing by the ten fingers each of them held up. Well Ari's ten fingers had quickly dwindled down to four whereas Nudge was at a safe seven. I watched her cheeks turn a bright shade of red as Ari said something, leaving her to drop yet another finger. Six now.
"Guys, does anybody besides Max maybe want to help me make food?" Iggy asked, stepping out of the kitchen; the door flapping behind him. Everybody turned to look at him, and I noticed Nudge snap her head around so quickly she could have easily broken her neck. A small smile creeped on her face as she opened her mouth to speak, but even in my foggy state I still was one step ahead.
I stood up at the top of the stairs, beginning to walk down them, causing Iggy to do a double-take. The moment his eyes locked on me, however, they never left. He just stared at me, raking his eyes over my body as if it was the first time he was seeing me. For a moment I thought about turning around and going back to my room. Maybe I could just lay there in my black skinny jeans and red sweater for the rest of my life and Iggy would forget about seeing me awake.
"Lupo!" He exclaimed suddenly and sprinted towards me, causing everyone's attention to turn to me. I wished they would all look away. I wanted nothing more at that moment than to not be the center of attention. I wanted them to pretend I wasn't there; that I was still laying in my bed, a lifeless mess.
Iggy's strong arms wrapped around my small frame, hugging me close to him. I didn't return it. If I had I would have broken down and lost any and all restraint I had on the river of tears hiding just under the mental dam I had created. "Lupo, I'm so… oh, I can't believe… you just… I'm so happy," Iggy whispered in my ear, unable to contain his joy down into full sentences. I wanted to smile at his boyish excitement, but once again the darkness held my lips in a thin line, keeping me from showing my emotions.
Down below us, everyone had a smile plastered on their face and was cheering either to me or Iggy. Everyone except one person. Nudge. She just sat on the couch, a tight-lipped smile on her face that told me she wasn't happy to see me showing signs of improvement unlike everybody else. "Lupo! Come on! Come join the party!" Max exclaimed brightly, finally releasing her hand from Fang's to meet Iggy and me at the bottom of the stairs. I hadn't even realized he had led me all the way to the first floor until Max's arms wrapped around me in a warm sisterly hug. "I'm so glad you're here!" Max nearly shrieked in my ear, causing me to wince. It wasn't like Max to shriek unless she was feeling an extreme emotion. The smile on her face, and tears in her eyes let me know she was feeling extremely elated to see me moving and alive, and deep down, somewhere inside of me, I was happy to see her too. I was happy she was happy, and so in love, and not running away for once.
However, nobody saw the deep down me, instead they saw the me that was standing before them, trying not to grimace. Max had a baby to look forward to. She had a family to look forward to. What did I have? Nothing. Just that thought alone made me resent her. It made me want to tackle her and strangle her, and smirk as she died, but I could barely walk, let alone tackle, so I just nodded in her direction before I was scooped up in yet another pair of arms. Fang.
How did such a nice, funny guy get stuck with Max? I wanted to ask out loud, but I didn't really mean that, did I? My mind scrunched up in thought. Did I really feel that much hatred towards Max at this moment? She didn't deserve my hatred. It wasn't her fault so many things happened to her… was it? "Hey Loop, looking good. I mean sure you're kinda pale and your hair needs some volumizing shampoo, but we can fix that later," Fang told me, and despite myself, I felt a small smile form on my lips, one that immediately fell away. But it was there. If only for a second. A sign that I'd be okay, that the darkness wasn't going to win. Not this time. "oh my God, I think she just smiled. Somebody call the Government! The world is ending!" Fang exclaimed before sprinting into the kitchen. I snorted and shook my head, turning to Iggy.
"Oh no! Don't eat the pie, Fang!" The love of my life shouted, one hand holding my wrist as he half-dragged me into the kitchen after the Prince who was busy getting himself a slice of chocolate pie. "No! Bad dog!" Iggy snapped, grabbing a wooden spoon off the counter and smacking Fang over the head with it. Needless to say he dropped the pie on the floor and whimpered in pain as he back off.
"My pie!" Iggy shrieked.
"My head!" Fang grumbled, and the situation was so comical I found myself wishing I had stayed in my room so the soft chuckle escaping my lips would have never happened. Instantly, I wished I could take it back, but it was too late, and an adorable smile was already covering Iggy's face, forcing me to never forget that I had just laughed while my baby was probably being put through hell. I should have never gotten up.
"Wanna help me cook?" Iggy asked. "I have to re-bake my pie because of a certain someone," Iggy emphasized the last couple words as he looked towards Fang, whose dark eyes shone with innocence as he shrugged weakly.
"You hit me," he accused, which would have been a valid argument had he been talking to anybody besides Iggy.
"You were. Cutting. My. Pie," Iggy growled, and Fang gulped before sprinting out of the kitchen with a wooden-spoon wielding strawberry blonde on his tail. I sighed quietly, sitting up on the counter and looking around at all the food, thinking of how if I hadn't gotten up Iggy would've brought me a little bit of everything and wouldn't have allowed me to sleep until I finished my plate. Iggy didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve a girlfriend who shut down and left him all alone, and yet he still dealt with me like a father would a child. You're holding him back, the darkest part of my mind spoke softly, seducing me with its words. If you were dead you wouldn't hold anyone back. The voice was right. A dead person doesn't hold anyone back, but a live person doesn't have to hold someone back.
"Hey Lupo," Ari grinned weakly at me as he walked into the kitchen just in time to hear Fang howl in pain. Iggy must have smacked him again. Somewhere in the living room Max's and Nudge's laughter entwined together, creating one obnoxious, annoying sound that flooded my ears before the door closed, dulling the noise down.
I nodded in Ari's direction as he walked towards me, unwilling to speak my first words to him. Somewhere in my gut, I felt nerves began to prickle as if they were just barely brushing against a cactus. He was getting closer. Too close. I didn't like it. Sure, Ari was my friend; probably my most loyal friend, but he was also the person I hurt the most. I didn't like seeing that pain in his eyes every time he looked at me, or the slight desperation in his voice as he talked to me. Why did he have to love me? He made everything even worse than it already was.
"Look, I don't want to hurt your feelings on Christmas Lupo, but-"
"Then don't." I growled out, finding just enough courage to break through the black cloud in my throat. My voice cracked and snarled from lack of use, but I didn't mind. The more I put him off the better. I just wanted Ari to keep his distance from me.
"Lupo, just listen to me for a minute, okay?" Ari snapped and I paused. Something was off. He was the only one not jumping for joy at my newfound presence besides Nudge; and of all people I thought he would be the happiest to see me.
"Okay," I whispered, hating myself. Iggy was the one I wanted to talk to. Not Ari. I felt like I was cheating on Iggy all over again, sharing this secret moment with a friend who I could abuse all day and would still come crawling back to me like a lovesick puppy.
"Last night I went upstairs to find out what was wrong with Nudge because she had been acting… odd. And well, I walked in on her and Iggy… together," Ari paused every now and then, picking and choosing his words wisely. He acted as if I was a fragile china doll with a crack in the glass, and on the verge of shattering. I guess in reality, that's exactly what I was, but I was also a fighter. It didn't seem like it- hell, it hadn't seemed like it for the past however long we've been here, but that's what I will always be. A fighter.
"What do you mean?" I asked quietly, feeling any and all darkness began to be infected with a wildly red haze. Blood. I wanted blood. Her blood.
"They… well, Lupo they were having sex." Ari blurted out and I blinked once. Then twice. Iggy had slept with Nudge. He had taken the golden rule of relationships and broke it. He cheated on me. But not just with a few simple kisses. No. He gave Nudge something that belonged to me. That was supposed to be our little secret together for the rest of our lives. He gave her the passion, the love, the time that was supposed to only be for me. Not just a few simple kisses.
Maybe, maybe if it was just a kiss I could take it. Maybe I could understand that he, being part of the male species, had needs too. He'd had a taste of love, and after a small bite how could you not want the whole thing? But the whole thing was supposed to be me. Not Nudge. He had promised himself to me when he told me he loved me, and I had promised myself to him. But now, after all we've been through, the pain, the heartache, the years without talking to each other because I kissed a guy, he dared to sleep with another girl? The hurt, the betrayal, and the jealousy began to bubble up all at once. I was a volcano now, about to explode and kill whoever dared to cross my path. And Nudge would most definitely be crossing my path.
Somewhere outside of my red haze, I felt Ari's hand rest on my shoulder. "He's a bastard Lupo. Sorry I had to be the one to tell you-" he started, but never finished his sentence. My fingers clenched into shaking fists as I stormed out of the kitchen and locked eyes on Nudge, who sat straight up on the couch watching Fang and Iggy play-wrestle on the floor by Max.
Wordlessly I walked over to Nudge. "oh hey Lupo I- what are you- AAAAHHHH!" Nudge screamed as I grabbed a fistful of her dark curly hair and yanked her head backwards before propelling my free fist forward. I hoped Nudge was ready to meet the Devil herself, because she was coming out and there was no stopping her.
Wow, I think Nudge is about to die.
Okay guys, it would mean so much to me if I got 10 reviews on each part of the 50th Chapter Spectacular.
Soar on
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