Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Ben's Note of Sheer Awesome: You know, Kitty is starting to grow on me. I mean, I might get her out of character a little bit, but I really do love how I've portrayed her. She's this girl who's very much like her mother and yet is very insecure. I really do love her and I hope you guys all love her too!
Prompt 67: Realization
Kitty was where she was earlier, still crying her eyes out. However, as she cried on the ground where Neb had left her, a battle was going on. Not in the physical world. Inside Kitty's head.
You're worthless. A piece of #$%. You don't belong in this world. Neb all but proved that, showing you that people are fragile. He smashed Alistair's heart with that locket. One look and you'll be dumped.
No… no, Neb wouldn't make me hurt like this…
You're wrong #$%! He threw you to feel like #$% because he hates your very being! I hate your #$% existence and I have to live with you! Why else would he smash your locket? Because he wants you to suffer like the rest of the world!
Neb… he's my…
Friend? He's not your friend. He ruined you! He'd do it again if you gave him the chance!
He saved us… when Alistair was kidnapped. Why else would he save our lives?
So he could boost his ego! He doesn't give #$% about you! All he cares about is getting noticed! Why else does he show up at random times? Not because he cares. It's because he loes people noticing him.
He does love attention…
He's knows what you are. A monster, a freak. Exposing you? This is Neb's true purpose of being here. Neb only cares about himself.
No…
Yes, so quit…
No… not me. You said Neb doesn't care for anyone but himself. Neb loves Lizzie. He may not care about me… but he loves Lizzie. And can see it in his eyes whenever they're together.
So what? Still doesn't give #$% about you.
Maybe not… but I've been thinking Dark Kitty. You said Neb only cared for himself. If you were wrong about that, then maybe you were wrong about him hating me.
You heard him! He abandoned him when you needed him most!
Because of you blinding me! Don't you see? He's teaching me a lesson! I wanted my locket but I needed to listen to Neb! Because I didn't heed that, he told me I have to face my darkness alone. It had nothing to do with Neb hating me… he's doing it because he cares about me.
What about Alistair #$%? He's still going to hate you for having his locket destroyed!
Will he? Alistair never gets mad. The only time I've ever seen him mad is when I almost committed suicide, and even then he was madder at himself than me. And who almost pushed me to suicide? Let me think… oh yeah, I remember. You.
What's that have to do with anything?
My life ever since you showed up has had its ups and downs. I didn't realization until now, when Neb said the darkness in my heart is robbing me of what I hold most dear. You almost cost me my life. You took away my teleportation. You might have lost me one of my closest friends.
So what? Not like you can do anything about it. I took those things away from you. You are never getting them back.
Maybe not. But you know what Dark Kitty? Neb said I wouldn't always be able to rely on people to help me through dark times. Neb abandoned me because I refused to listen, and I might have deserved it. But I know someone who'll always be there, even when I'm alone. And you will never be able to take him away from me.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! KITTY, I DEMAND YOU LISTEN TO ME! DON'T TIHNK ABOUT HIM! DON'T THINK ABOUT HIM!
Why? Afraid of one boy? One amazing, gorgeous, magnificent boy who will always love me no matter what happens? One boy who doesn't care if I have his locket or not? One boy I love with all my heart?
I swear Kitty Cheshire, THIS IS NOT OVER!
Oh, I think it is. For now, at least. Because my boyfriend's here. And if there's one thing Alistair hates…
…It's me in trouble.
A scream could be heard in Kitty's head, so loud Alistair could have sworn he heard it as he approached the area Kitty was in. He saw Kitty on the ground, heaving one last sob as she got up. "Kitty? You ok?" he asked, rushing to her side.
Kitty sniffled again, but looked up at her boyfriend with a weak smile. "For now," she said, then leaned over and hugged her boyfriend. "But if you're here, then for now could be for a really long time."
BN: And cut! This is not the last chapter of this arc, by the by, we have one more to go! This chapter was interesting because, unlike most of my chapters, it didn't take place in the world around them. It took place directly in Kitty's head, where the only thing there was thoughts. I loved Kitty's and Dark Kitty's interaction because it symbolized that Kitty can overcome her darkness… but only in her mind and only temporarily. I would like to think we're all like that. We conquer something when we do it in our heads and inside our subconscious, but when we wake up and come back to reality, it's back to square one. Kitty might have overcome Dark Kitty temporarily, but Dark Kitty's a part of her that's been integrated to who she is. Dark Kitty won't just go away after one show down, and since Kitty was motivated by Neb's betrayal, she might not be as strong the next time Dark Kitty comes back.
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