Chapter Four: The Plan

Mal walked quietly through the empty stone hallways of her dormitory towards her room. Although her surroundings were silent, her mind was flooded with the voices and sounds from the night before, as she relived the events over and over and over; every word, every kiss, every sound. When she reached her room she placed her forehead against her door and took in a deep breath. What am I going to do? She thought. She was unsure of what she regretted most: last night itself or how she had just left Ben. Sleep, I need sleep. As she opened the door she was surprised to see Evie sitting on her bed, staring at her. Mal rolled her eyes and quietly closed her door, dreading the conversation that was about to come.

"Well, well, well," Evie said as she raised an eyebrow. She sat on the edge of the bed, with one leg over the other, bouncing her foot as she always did when she was excited. "So what did you and Ben do together last night?" Mal rolled her eyes and stomped over to her dresser. She pulled out her pajamas and swapped them for her dress without saying a word as the tension in the room continued to build.

"I think you know," Mal said as she slammed a drawer shut. Evie sat up straighter on the bed and leaned in closer Mal.

"I never thought you would be the one having sex after prom and not me," Evie said with a laugh. "I tried," she sighed, "But Doug was just too...nervous." She waited for Mal's laugh, but it didn't come. "So you guys actually did it? You guys actually had sex?" Mal looked at the floor, unsure of what her friend was actually asking. Of course Evie knew they had had sex, so Mal didn't understand why she was playing this pathetic game. Mal looked at the floor before raising her eyes to meet Evie's gaze. When their eyes met Mal shrugged.

"Yeah," and at her admission tears began to fill her eyes. She dragged her feet over to her bed and buried her face in her favorite pillow.

"Oh, Mal, what's wrong?" Evie asked crawling up beside her and moving Mal's purple hair from her face. "Was it bad? Was he bad? Because it would be ab-so-lute-ly hilarious if Mr. Perfect well, wasn't so perfect."

"Oh Evie, shut up!" Mal said as she rolled over. Evie paused, perplexed. What had happened last night?

"Mal," Evie said quietly. She made sure to adjust her tone so Mal knew she was being serious. "He didn't force you to do anything right?"

"What?" Mal asked, surprised. "How could you think that?"

"Well I'm just trying to figure out what happened, and you're not helping me." Mal sat up and put her pillow in her lap as she nervously played with its frills.

"You promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Of course."

"It was perfect, Evie, and that's the problem." Evie raised an eyebrow, half in sarcasm and half in confusion. She had never seen anyone act this way after a perfect night. "He was so kind. He led me to this field that he used to go to when he was little, and it was filled with fireflies and paper lanterns, and there was a bed. It was beautiful, and I really didn't feel pressured at all. And, at every step he kept making sure I was okay, I felt totally safe. But no one tells you how awkward it is. Like, it's really awkward, but even with that he was so sweet. But it hurt, but at the same time it felt so good to be close to someone I love." Evie raised her eyebrows again, surprised to have just heard the big L word come out of her friends' mouth. Mal noticed. "That's the problem Evie. I told him I loved him and he cried." Evie laughed out loud and put her hand over her mouth to stop herself from going any further. Don't taunt him right now, she thought, support your friend.

"He cried?"

"It was really beautiful," Mal explained, and then there was silence. "We love each other."

"And you're upset because you had a great first time with someone you love?" Mal rolled her eyes.

"You don't get it do you? We can't love each other. We can't. He's who he is and I'm who I am. And I may be being selfish, but I can't allow myself to love him, someone who is guaranteed to break my heart. Losing my mom, someone who didn't really love me, was hard enough. I don't think I could handle losing someone I actually cared about."

"So you're just scared," Evie said as a statement and not a question. Mal nodded before burying her face into the pillow on her lap.

"Oh, Mal," Evie began to rub her hand against her friend's back. "You're one of the bravest people I know. It makes sense that love would be the only thing that could terrify you."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Well, when you love someone, you in a way give them permission to hurt you. It's like always having a person that could betray you at any moment, but choosing to believe that they won't. That's scary. I mean, I bet if I ever had sex with someone I loved I'd be acting the same way you are. The fear of being rejected is scary. You're not being stupid." The reassurance put Mal at an immediate ease. They sat in silence for several moments before there was a knock at the door.

"It's probably him," Mal whispered. "And I don't want to see him." Evie nodded and stoop up, and answered the door for her friend. She slowly cracked the door open, and sure enough, it was him. Ben looked surprised, and embarrassed, to see her.

"Oh, hey Evie," he stuttered. Mal smirked. This was the first time she had seen the always confident king nervous. "You're up early." He attempted to peak behind her to see if Mal was in the room.

"She's sleeping," she lied. Ben shook his head.

"She's right there, I see her sitting on the bed." Evie stepped sideways, attempting to block Ben's view. "C'mon Mal. Can't you just talk to me, tell me what's going on?"

"She doesn't really want to see you," Evie said, speaking for her friend. Ben changed his focus from Mal to Evie. He lowered his voice.

"Look, I don't know what's going on. But I love her." Evie felt Ben's heartbreak come through his voice, and she had pity on him. She looked over her shoulder to Mal, and then stepped outside with Ben.

"Look, Ben," Evie said quietly. "I know you love her, okay. I know. But she's just scared and she needs her space. The more you push her, the more she is going to push you away. Give her time. See someone else. Show her that you can be with other people. Make her jealous. You have to make her want you." Ben shook his head in frustration.

"You're telling me I should see someone else to make her jealous?" He clarified. Evie nodded.

"You need to make her see that she wants you. There's no better way to do that than making her jealous."

"But that makes no sense."

"Girls don't make sense, Ben. Trust me, I'm one of them and I still get confused," they both laughed a little.

"So you think I should go out with Audrey?"

"Well if she's not with Jay."

"Oh," Ben said with a sudden boost of confidence. "Jay is no competition for me." Evie smiled at him. She was jealous of Mal. She would give anything to have a prince like Ben interested in her.

"And I know you don't mean anything," Evie said. "Well you don't actually like Audrey do you?"
"No," Ben said shaking his head. "And don't you think it's mean to do this to Audrey?" Evie shook her head.

"Do you want Mal back or not?" They both looked at each other. Ben finally lowered his head and ran his fingers thorugh his thick dirty blonde hair in frustration.

"Alright," he said. "I'll do it. I'll ask Audrey to get some ice cream or something and make sure Mal sees. But, Evie, if this goes wrong it's going to be your fault."

"Just trust me, Ben. Okay?" Ben nodded again and headed off towards Audrey's door. Evie stepped back inside.

"You don't need to worry about him anymore," she said as she sat next to Mal again. Mal rolled over and put her head back in her pillow. She didn't feel relieved at all, but hurt, and was surprised she had to resist the urge to run out the door after him. It will be better this way, she thought to herself, and pulled her blanket over her and tried to go to sleep.

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