Chloe, Gail and Rachel rode in silence after stopping for an awkwardly silent breakfast, well, mostly in silence, Chloe broke into laughing fits every so often, which Rachel was trying her best to ignore. Chloe had agreed to take Rachel to see Frank before they went through with this whole thing. Chloe was a lot less confident this was going to work than she was acting. Rachel could see it, still the giggling fits were getting on her nerves. She wondered, even in context, what could possibly be so funny, about any of this, and on a deeper level she was wondering if Chloe was losing her mind completely. What happened the night before had happened...but Rachel wasn't sure why, considering Chloe had been ready to kill herself over not being able to find Max, two days before. Rachel didn't know Chloe like Max, close, maybe, but not quite. But she still knew Chloe's coping method when nothing else was available was humor, even if it was...Chloe's humor. This concerned Rachel even further.
"So...why are we doing this again, aside from having a few hours to kill?", Chloe finally asked, she really had no interest in seeing Frank, at all.
"Because Chloe, I do love Frank and I want to see him again before….if this goes wrong, Chloe...", Rachel replied.
Chloe started laughing again.
"What about any of this is so fucking funny, Chloe?", Rachel finally snapped.
"N...othing", Chloe choked out through her laughter.
Gail hadn't said much all...afternoon, it had been afternoon already when they woke up.
...what the fuck...was last night...I can't...
"..N-...nothing...nothing about any of this is funny, Rachel", Chloe said, still laughing.
"Chloe, are you..alright?"
"Yeah i'm good...i'm just...wondering how you'll ever break the news to Frank."
"THERE IS NO NEWS", Rachel said, a little too hotly.
"Okay...Rachel."
"I was hammered."
"Completely fucked, in a manner of speaking", Chloe started laughing again, she couldn't resist.
"CHLOE."
"Okay...okay...nothing about any of this is funny."
"I know."
"Rachel…"
"What, Chloe? What?"
"Completely...fucked."
"Jesus Christ."
"Alright...alright...i'm sorry. Really."
Rachel sighed. Chloe took a deep breath seemed to finally get ahold of herself.
"Gail...are you alright? You haven't said anything since we left."
"Huh...oh yeah, i'm...alright...just...", Gail was even more lost now than she was before.
"Hey...it's alright. This all escalated hella quick. Everything. When this is over with, we'll figure everything out, okay?"
"...yeah."
"Gail...i'm sorry. About last night. That was...stupid. Of me. All of it."
Rachel looked at Chloe, she hadn't predicted this change from finding it hilarious to apologizing for it.
She doesn't actually think it's funny. She doesn't know how to handle it, either…or any of this...she's barely holding it together...you...always have to be the hero...you're better than us. All of us. And you would never even accept that...you've wrecked time itself twice to save her. Even just to save her some pain. I could never compete. I'm sorry...Chloe. I failed you..so many times...do I...still...no...stop thinking about this.
Rachel's thoughts went in a completely different direction than she intended them to, she looked out the window, at the coast passing by, she wiped a tear away. She'd been battling with these thoughts since they came back. She didn't, in truth, regret last night, at all. Which is why she wanted Chloe to shut the fuck up about it.
"N-..no. Don't be. It...happened. Just...let's focus on what we have to do", Gail said.
"Yeah...alright", Chloe said, almost timidly.
"Chloe...no jokes, do me a favor, okay?", Rachel asked, her tone caught Chloe's attention.
"What, Rachel? Are you alright?", Chloe asked.
"I think so. I...need to talk to Frank alone, and I don't want to drag you there...you and Gail probably have a lot to talk about anyway, so just...drop me off, alright?"
"Rachel, are you sure, I mean…", Chloe sensed a...desperation?, in Rachel.
"Yes."
"I...alright, Rachel...look...i'm sorry...it's not funny, we were all way too drunk and…"
"It's fine, Chloe. It's okay. You're right. I was hammered. Completely fucked. All of us were."
"Rachel…"
"Just...wait for me outside, okay?"
"...alright."
Chloe dropped her off at the parking lot near the beach, where Frank's RV was parked. She watched Rachel enter and disappear.
Rachel…
"Is she...alright?", Gail asked.
"I...don't know, Gail. I hope so."
"Do you love her, Chloe?", Gail asked seriously.
"W-...what?"
"Do you still love her?"
"Gail...we've just...been through a lot together."
"Do you love me?"
"I...I-"
"So, what was last night, really, Chloe? Was it just you having fun?"
"...no."
"Chloe...i'm so confused. I...think I love you.I feel like i've known you...forever...but you and Rachel...and even I have...feelings...about Rachel...obviously, I mean last night fucking happened…and who the fuck is Max, really? If you love her so much how did that even happen? Are you just fucking with me? Are-", Gail's voice was raising. It was the first time Chloe had seen her angry. Gail was actually getting in Chloe's face, yelling at her. Chloe felt hot tears running down her face.
"Gail…", Chloe sobbed, she wasn't prepared for this.
"What? What, Chloe? What the fuck is going on?"
"Do you...still trust me, Gail?"
"I don't know how i'm supposed to, you know all this shit, you won't tell me anything that isn't fucking cryptic, you fucked Rachel in front of me-"
"So did you."
"I was drunk."
"So was I."
"Chloe-"
"Gail-"
Their eyes were locked, neither of them knew what to say. Chloe grabbed Gail and embraced her tightly. Gail fought her at first...but found herself embracing Chloe back.
"You...just have to trust me...until this is over...I will tell you everything...", Chloe whispered.
"Chloe...I don't...how the fuck did I even end up in this mess...how did we end up in this mess?"
"I don't know, Gail", Chloe honestly didn't know. She didn't know why things had turned out this way, how this had escalated so quickly.
"Chloe…I-"
"Yes, Gail."
"...what?"
"I love you."
"You...do?"
"Yes."
"And Rachel?"
"It's...different."
"Is it?"
"I needed to be sure, Gail."
"Of?"
"That you were the one I was waiting for."
"...Chloe…"
"Shhh, please...I can't take any more questions right now. I can't."
"Chloe…"
"Yes, Gail?"
"Don't ever let me go."
Just gotta let go.
When Rachel finally came back, it was starting to get dark, Gail had dozed off, her head on Chloe's shoulder, she was clearly still hungover, Chloe let her sleep. Chloe had just stared out at the waves crashing on the empty, October beach.
"You good?", Chloe asked as Rachel climbed into the cab.
"...I think so", Rachel said, Chloe could tell she'd been crying.
"He didn't...do anything to you, right?"
"No, Chloe. Nothing like that...this is all just...getting to me."
"You and me both."
"Huh...what, i'm awake…", Gail muttered.
"Alright...so, are we ready for this?", Chloe asked.
"No, but we have to", Rachel replied.
"Yeah", Gail agreed, quietly.
Chloe drove them to Blackwell, she pulled into the parking lot, surveying everything around her to be sure they weren't being watched. She got out of the truck with them, leaving it running. Gail squeezed her hand. Rachel was staring off into space.
"Rachel..are you ready for this?"
"As I ever will be", she said, snapping out of whatever thought she was lost in.
We're going to have to talk about this, later, Chloe thought.
"You two have to look out for each other, alright? I'll be back as soon as I can, if you see ANYTHING wrong, call me and get the fuck out, alright?", Chloe asked. She really, really did not want to leave them alone, especially with Rachel's sudden preoccupation.
"We will", said Gail.
"Rachel, here", Chloe said, holding a switchblade out to her, "...just in case."
Rachel took it and tucked it away.
Gail hugged Chloe and kissed her on the cheek. Chloe found herself having a hard time letting go.
"Rachel", Chloe said, holding her arms open.
Rachel hugged her, awkwardly, but didn't seem to want to let go. She kissed Chloe's lips, very gently and quickly.
"For luck", she said.
"Rachel…"
"I'll protect her, Chloe, I promise", Rachel said surely, completely ignoring Chloe's questioning look.
Chloe sighed.
"Alright, if i'm not back in half an hour, call the cops anyway, and lay low."
"You'll be here", Gail said, surely.
"I hope so", Chloe said, a little less surely, "...I'll text Gail when I get what I need, then come right back."
The three of them hugged at once and then Rachel and Gail started towards the school. Chloe got back in the truck and watched them for a moment. Rachel looked back, Gail didn't notice, she locked eyes with Chloe. Chloe could tell what she was saying, just from the glance.
"Go, i've got this."
"I know, Rachel", Chloe said to herself. She pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the last place she ever wanted to be again, save the ground.
There was something else in the look, and Chloe knew what it was, but pushed it aside, for the moment. It was a loving, apologetic glance.
Like a soldier going off to war, who knew they might not be coming back.
Chloe found her way back to the old barn easily, it was deserted, still, she parked way away and walked the rest of the distance, just to be sure. She made her way to it, gun in hand, and made her way around to the side, the same way she had with Max the first time. It was dark. She clicked on a maglite she had pulled from under the seat of the truck and climbed through. She fully expected someone to be waiting with a gun aimed right at her, but was met with nothing but the smell of old dirt and hay. She knew exactly where to go, the hatch in the floor, this time. She walked up to it and shined the light down.
"Fuck", she said, looking at a heavy padlock. She hadn't considered this. She didn't remember it being locked last time.
I boosted Max up to the rafters, she did...something…shit, it was, and we broke the lock…
She didn't trust her lock picking skills, they'd never worked too well in the past.
"Goddammit", she muttered, she had an idea, but didn't like it.
Max told me I shot myself accidentally and she rewound...a bullet ricocheted...and...I don't have time for this…
"Fuck it", she said, praying nobody would hear what she was about to do. She raised the gun and balanced it on her left wrist, light in her left hand, aiming downward, she didn't trust her aim, either. She pulled the trigger and dove for the ground at almost the same moment.
BANG-CHING-CHING-THUD
She opened her eyes, she'd instinctively shut them tightly, realizing the bullet hadn't bounced back and hit her. She stood up and shined the light down, the lock was broken, she smashed it with the maglite and was able to pull it off.
Okay...that actually worked...five shots left...I really fucking hope I don't need them…
She made her way down the stairs to the keypad.
Five, four, two.
The door clicked, unlocked. She turned the vault style handle and entered, gun raised.
"She's going to be alright, right?", Gail asked as they walked towards Blackwell's pool.
"Yes", Rachel said.
"We really have to do this?"
"Unfortunately."
"What do we..do? I mean...parties aren't really my thing."
"Mingle...try to look busy, like we aren't here to spy on Jefferson."
"I'm scared, Rachel."
"I am too, but it'll be okay", Rachel put her arm around Gail's shoulders.
They walked in silence the rest of the way, Gail passed some familiar faces, but mostly kept her head down, not that this was anything new. More people were looking at Rachel, remembering her being at these things all the time, then one day just up and leaving Blackwell.
"Gail...is that you? I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time", Warren asked as they passed him.
"Oh...hey, Warren. How are you?"
"Doing just fine...I missed you though, haven't seen you since that thing with Kate...hey...is that Rachel Amber hanging on you?"
"Yes", Rachel said.
"Whoa...you're like...a legend…"
"I know", Rachel said in an unamused tone.
"Have you been drinking...Warren?"
"If you consider half a beer drinking…"
"We don't have time for this, Gail", Rachel said.
"Yeah...i'll see you later, Warren", Gail said, Rachel pulling her along.
"Sorry...just wanted to feel like a normal student after the mess with Kate and everything", he said from behind them.
They were already gone, inside. There was blaring music, Gail saw some familiar faces, but Rachel wasn't stopping, which Gail was thankful for. They came to the pool, lit in surreal red and purple colors, flashing lights, Gail hated everything about it.
"Has anything like this ever struck you?
If ever a likeness that you're scraping for pockets of air?
Whatever you're like when you came in
Whatever you use
Whatever you choose
Whatever your acronym"
The music was overbearingly loud. Gail was strangely entranced by it and a sense of...deju vu?
"Gail, come on, we have to at least look like we are here for a reason", Rachel said into Gail's ear.
"And how do we do that? I can't really...mingle...I don't really know anyone..."
"Dance with me."
"What?"
"Just do it, come on, if you remember anything from last night, let it be that."
"I...alright, Rachel."
"They say that either you're out
Or you're in
But you're on
They say that either you're out
Or you'll swim
On your own"
Rachel danced, it came easy and naturally to her, despite Chloe's claims otherwise, Gail tried to keep up, awkwardly. Rachel was scanning the room, as she danced. She saw Victoria entering the Vortex only section.
Alright, so she's here. Good.
"How long do we have to keep this up?", Gail asked, she was embarrassed and felt something...strange.
I've seen this before…, Gail thought.
"Not long, hopefully", Rachel said.
Chloe hated being here. Hated the sterile smell. Hated the overbearing atmosphere of this sick storm shelter-turned demented portrait studio. Hated how it reminded her of finding Rachel, dead, before. She also expected Jefferson to come through the door at any moment. She couldn't find what she needed, the red binders were gone.
Is it just...different now...or…shit...
She looked around for something, anything else incriminating. She grabbed a few letters, and random papers from wherever she saw them, but she knew there was nothing here good enough. She tucked the gun away and pulled her phone out, as she headed for the door.
Chloe: call the cops, get out, u guys okay?
Chloe waited for a moment, nothing.
Chloe: im coming back
Chloe: GAIL
Nothing.
Shitshitshit, don't panic.
She decided to try calling Gail. It went right to voicemail.
FUCK.
Rachel's did the same.
Fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK, what do I do now? I have to go back...but if something happened….he would come back here...right?
"FUCK."
Chloe started running towards the exit, where she found a picture of Rachel in her Blackwell days taped to the back of the door. She didn't want to look at it, she hadn't noticed it on the way in. Someone had left this here purposely, everything else had been cleaned out. She slowly reached up and ripped it off the door. It was just a normal picture.
"What the-", she turned it over, written in black marker was:
"You overestimated Nathan, i'll be seeing you soon"
"SHIT", Chloe screamed, shoved the door open, and sprinted up the stairs.
"What have we started
What became
Don't get found out again
What have we started
What remained
You saved our lives again"
The music pounded in Gail's head. She was getting a bad headache, not a hangover headache, a headache like the ones she got every day, before she met Chloe. She felt light...distant.
"Rachel...I don't feel good", Gail said, over the music.
"I don't either, still hungover as fuck, but-"
"No, not that-"
The music died down.
"Okay, okay, everybody calm down, I don't want to get in the way of the party, but it's time to announce the winner of the 'Everyday Heroes' contest. Before I do, i'd like to thank everyone who entered…", Mark Jefferson said, from a stage behind the pool, at the back of the large room.
"Oh, fuck off", Rachel muttered.
"Rachel…", Gail said, grabbing Rachel's arm tightly.
"Oh shit, your nose."
Gail reached up and touched her upper lip, her fingers came away bloody. She looked at her fingers, then at Rachel, then back, then again, then she collapsed into Rachel. She let Gail lean on her. She didn't like this, at all, it couldn't be a coincidence.
"Gail, are you with me?"
"...uh...huh", Gail mumbled.
Shit. This is going to draw attention...can't say she's just drunk with all the blood…bathroom...no, too many people, loud, cramped, fuck...please let there be people out front still...
Rachel slowly made her way, supporting Gail the entire way, towards the exit. Gail was tiny, but Rachel wasn't any bigger, just slightly taller, and Gail's entire weight was on her shoulder, they couldn't move very quickly. When they finally got outside, it was empty. Everyone having gone inside or taken the party back to their dorms, by now.
Fuck, Chloe, hurry up.
She sat Gail down on a bench and kneeled down in front of her, wiping at her nose with her sleeve, not caring about the bloodstains, just worrying about Gail. Gail kind of leaned forward, burying her face into Rachel's shoulder, Rachel felt the warm blood from Gail's nose seeping through her flannel and t-shirt. She put her arms around Gail.
"Gail...GAIL, talk to me."
"...Rachel?"
"Gail, stay with me, what's wrong?"
"How...can you be here...you're dead...Rachel...Chloe is looking for Nathan...she's going to kill him...we found you in the...junkyard..."
"...Max?"
"...why does everyone keep...calling me that? My head...feels like it's splitting apart...I get bad headaches, Rachel…", Gail still hadn't opened her eyes, lifted her head.
"I know, Gail…"
"I feel like i've...been here...at this party, before...but Chloe was here, you...weren't…you-"
It finally fell into place what was different about this time she and Chloe had come back to, though she was already pretty sure before this, we fucked up...I...fucked up…Chloe...did nothing wrong...
"...Well obviously things are different, this time. I tried to tell you. I'm here, so obviously some things are different..."
"...I never wanted to try this, Chloe..."
"...Then why, why the fuck did you come with me..."
"...Because I knew you were going to need…a friend. If...it went wrong..."
Rachel knew now that was a lie, even if she had been denying it to herself. She couldn't deny it anymore. She wasn't happy there, had come with Chloe because...
"Gail, I-", Rachel was cut off, she felt something make contact with the back of her head, felt a crack of pain, Rachel was stronger than that, though. She pulled the switchblade, stood and spun around in one motion, Mark Jefferson smashed her across the face with the barrel of a handgun, then she was down, she saw everything go white, tasted her own blood and then everything went black.
"Oh no, don't tell me i've damaged your beautiful face, how will I get the shots I need now…Gail will have to be enough...so perfect, pure...no past...a clean slate..."
Gail was too out of it, she barely registered that Rachel was on the ground and that she was falling forward, it all happened in a second. Before she could even react, she felt a prick on her neck.
"No…", Gail sobbed weakly.
"It's over, for you, and the punk", Jefferson said.
Gail felt panic, then a heaviness...an extreme fatigue, and then nothing at all.