Chapter Forty four

Jasper

As Bella and I watched the others leave I knew that we would finally have some time alone. I was beyond ready to take her right here right now but I couldn't. I suddenly found myself not only needing my mate but terrified at the same time. I needed to speak to her and make her give me a promise.

Before I could say a word though Bella turned in my arms and pulled me down for a kiss. This was no ordinary kiss though. It started out as a kiss full of love but quickly turned into a kiss filled with desire, hunger, and need. It would seem that she needed me almost as much as I needed her.

She pulled back out of breath and without saying a word tugged on my hand letting me know to follow her. I could smell her arousal strongly and knew that she was ready. I decided that walking to the room was too slow yet I wanted to do this right as much as I could. I needed to talk to her before going any further.

I took her hand and guided her to the side where there were seats that looked out over the lake and pulled her down into my lap as I sat down. I kissed her but felt her confusion, and then rejection. I knew I had to speak quickly to stop that from going any further. She needed to know that I wasn't saying no but I needed her to understand and I had to know something before I went any further. I refuse to hurt her in any way but I was going to need her help in order to control myself.

"Bella, darlin' please why are you feeling rejected?"

She sighed and then I felt her embarrassment,

"Why are you feeling embarrassed now? Look we are alone and I know that we haven't really had much time to be alone. I'm sorry for being such mean bastard the last few days but I need to know why you're feeling rejection and then embarrassment?"

"I'm not sure you can handle the answer. I'm not afraid that you'll hurt me but I am afraid that you'll need to leave me again."

"Please just tell me and then I need to explain a couple of things to you."

"Just promise that you won't leave me and that you'll listen to me before reacting."

This didn't sound good at all, but I promised her that I would keep quiet until she was done. I nodded and kissed her before pulling back enough so that she could see my face. I also may have cheated a little and sent her some confidence so she could tell me what was going on.

"The rejection is because Edward always pushed me away whenever I would try to go further than a simple kiss. I want you and wanted to go to our room and make love to you but you stopped me just like Edward used to do. The embarrassment is because I seem to keep trying to give myself to men that I love and they don't want me."

I couldn't stop the growl that came out. I swung her around so that she was straddling me and lifted her chin so that she was looking in my eyes,

"Isabella, do not EVER say that I don't want you. I'm sure that you can feel just how much I do. Even in my anger at what you said I still need you. Peter told me that he had explained to you what was going on and he got bitten for doing so."

"Now, I need to speak to you and make you give me a couple of promises. I also have a question. You already know of my painful need to bond with you so that you smell like me and we call it claiming. Unfortunately, with vampires its usually rough, even savage but I can't do that with you. I need you to promise me a couple of things before we go any further. If you can't promise and stick to it then I won't touch you no matter how painful it might be for me. Can you do that?"

"I'll do my best but you need to tell me first."

"I need you to promise that if I hurt you that you will tell me immediately. If you tell me and I don't stop after you've told me a couple of times then you have to promise to yell as loud as you can. Make sure you yell Jasper stop! It should break through to me."What I didn't tell her is that Darius would hear and save her. Probably even bring Peter or Em with him.

She was shaking her head no but I stopped her and continued,

"Remember I said that if you don't promise me I won't touch you. Now let me tell you the other promise. At least for the first time don't try to touch me. I don't mean that you can't hug or kiss but in order for me to try to keep myself in control I need you be still. You can move with me but just don't try to do anything to me. I don't want or need anything our first time except to take care of you and make sure that my scent is all over you.

I need you to understand that this is going to be hard for me to keep any type of control and I'm going to be honest here and say that I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt you. Please, please promise me that you'll keep still but be willing to yell for help if you need to."

"Wil. . .will I ever be able to touch you or make love to you while I'm still human? If I can't then turn me right here, right now! I just know that I need you and I trust you. I love you Jasper."

"After the first time or two then you can do whatever you want. My instincts will be telling me one thing and that's to get my scent on you and inside of you as much as possible the first time. Now I have a question that I really need to know. You said that Edward always pushed you away. Does that mean that you are a virgin or have you been with someone since Edward?"

She ducked her head down and was embarrassed again. If I didn't have vampire hearing I would have never heard her as she whispered,

"No, I've never been with anyone else. I'm a virgin and so I don't really have any clue what to do. I'm sorry if this is going to be a problem Jasper."

I grabbed her face gently and pulled her up to kiss her. After a very heated kiss in which I had gotten harder than I've ever been I pulled back and looking into her eyes said, "No, that's the best thing I've heard in a long time except to hear you say that you love me. Now do you promise to do as I have asked, all of it?"

She nodded and then kissed me and I couldn't help but buck my erection into her heat. Her lust skyrocketed and I was starting to go crazy with smelling her arousal. Using my vampire speed I got up and was in our room before she even realized that we had moved.

As soon as the door was closed I had her up against the back of the door and started kissing her and then letting her catch her breath while I kissed her neck. I kept reminding myself to be gentle and I was having a really hard time. I could only hope that she would keep her promise to yell if she couldn't get me to stop.

It was taking everything in me not to rip off her clothes and just plunge into her. We kissed for a minute or two and I had grabbed her butt and pulled her up so that her core was rubbing against my erection. The heat just from her body had me going crazy and I actually felt like a high school kid that was afraid of cumming before I even got inside of her.

I was about to carry her to the bed to try to calm down a minute when the unthinkable happened. I had put her back down and was kissing her when I felt her hand go up under my shirt. I growled and then I heard her scream.