Um, so yesterday's drabble wasn't as self explanatory as I thought. It takes place in the canon storyline, after Klaine gets back together, in their first apartment together. Hope it's easier to understand now :)
Today's drabble is Kurt's first night in New York. Again, canon storyline.
Enjoy!
Lullaby
Kurt lies in bed. There's no clock ticking, the only noise in the silent apartment being Rachel's snores. And cars outside, but he ignores them. He checks the time on his phone again. The bright light from the screen hurts his eyes, but they adjust, and he can read that it's been exactly four minutes since he last checked the time and an hour since he got into bed.
It's so late- his body is spent, so tired, begging for sleep, but he can't bring himself to drift off.
He breathes deeply.
Don't cry.
He didn't let anyone know how hard it was for him. Leaving home like this.
Don't cry.
Home wasn't even Ohio. He doesn't miss Ohio, the familiar, boring streets of it and the familiar, boring scent of it hanging in the air.
Don't cry.
Home is Blaine. He misses Blaine. He wants Blaine. He needs Blaine.
Don't cry.
He checks the time again. Two minutes passed. The thought of Blaine's face with a thousand different expressions fills his mind.
Don't cry.
Why can't he sleep? Sleep already. It's easy. Thinking of Blaine used to lure him to sleep, why doesn't it now?
Don't cry.
The room's comfortable; not too hot and not too cold. His pillow is soft. The bed isn't, but it doesn't bother him. He should be able to sleep. He's not insomniac. He knows that. Why can't he sleep?
Don't cry.
He picks his phone up to look at the background. Blaine smiles at him without seeing. Missing him hurts every part of his body.
Don't cry.
He slides to unlock. Checks Facebook; everyone is asleep. Twitter; same. Eventually he opens the list of contacts just to look at Blaine's name.
Don't cry.
There's a kissing smiley face next to Blaine's name. Blaine put it there.
Don't cry.
He clicks the contact. Another picture of Blaine. This one is from last weekend, in Blaine's room, with no gel in his hair and a loose smile.
Don't cry.
Rachel releases a loud snort. He sighs. Looking up from his phone reminds him of how he's not home. He's in New York, New York. It excites him and breaks his heart.
Don't cry.
He looks at the time. Another minute. Is Blaine still awake, maybe? Is he selfish enough to wake him if he isn't?
He presses 'call' anyway. Blaine answers after the first ring.
"Hi, honey."
Now he cries; crumples down and cries his heart and soul out.
"Blaine," he whimpers into the phone. "Blaine."
"Baby, what's wrong? Did something happen? Are you okay?"
Kurt exhales shakily. "I need you."
"Everything, whatever you need, tell me."
"I'm scared. And you're not here. And I'm alone. And I miss you," he cries.
"Oh, honey, I miss you, too. But it's just your first night. It's the worst; it'll get better. You love New York. You'll have so much fun there."
Kurt grips the blanket; it doesn't feel like Blaine at all. He wants to touch Blaine. Hug him. Be in the shelter of his arms.
"I don't want to have fun without you," he says. "I want you."
"And I'm yours. I'm just far away."
Kurt sobs silently, breathes in hard. "I don't like it when you're far away."
"I don't like it either, baby, trust me, I really don't. But this is how it is now. We'll learn to live with it until it changes again."
"I don't wanna live with it!" he almost yells. "I just want you, Blaine. Please," he begs, his tears smearing on the pillow.
"I wish I could do something to help, but you know I can't."
There's a moment of silence. Kurt's muffled sobs calm down a little.
"Do you have a pillow? A big one?"
Kurt sniffs. "Yeah."
"Put it so it's parallel to your body."
"Okay," Kurt says and moved the pillow.
"Put your arm over it, like it's my chest, and rest your head on it."
Kurt sighs, but complies. It doesn't feel comforting.
"Close your eyes."
He closes them, wiping the tears away. New tears take their place.
"I can stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep."
Kurt nods, forgetting Blaine can't see him. "I wish you were here."
"I wish I were there, too. Now sleep, tomorrow will be a brighter day."
Kurt grips the pillow tighter. It's too soft comparing to Blaine's masculine chest.
"Can you sing me to sleep?" he asks in a small voice.
"Of course. What do you want me to sing?"
He's not that alone, is he? He has Blaine. Wonderful, amazing, perfect Blaine.
"Gomenasai."
Kurt knows Blaine knows this song. He holds his phone closer to his ear and waits as Blaine hums the intro before the words begin.
"What I thought wasn't mine / in the light / wasn't one of a kind / a precious pearl / when I wanted to cry / I couldn't 'cause I / wasn't allowed…"
Blaine's soft voice seems to sooth his aching body. He buries his face in the pillow.
"Gomenasai / for everything / Gomenasai / I know I let you down / Gomenasai till the end / I never needed a friend / like I do now…"
Kurt feels his muscles unclench, relax.
"What I thought wasn't all / so innocent / was a delicate doll / of porcelain / when I wanted to call you / and ask you for help / I stopped myself…"
Kurt whispers a quiet, barely audible "Goodnight" into the phone. He knows Blaine heard him, even though he doesn't reply, just keeps singing.
"Gomenasai / for everything…"
Kurt's body is heavy. He sinks into the pillow, feeling the sleep creep up on him.
"Gomenasai / I know I let you down…"
It will be okay, he thinks. It will.
"Gomenasai till the end…"
His breathe evens out. His legs twitch. Blaine doesn't have to listen closely to know he's asleep, but keeps singing still.
"I never needed a friend / like I do now…"
Confession time- I kinda got the idea for this the night before I left.
The song is Gomenasai by t.A.T.u, and it means "I'm sorry" in Japanese.