So yesterday's drabble made me think of Bruce, and here come the inevitable: the Blaine-finds-Bruce fic!
Set a while after they get back together.
Bruce
He wasn't going through Kurt's stuff. He was sent to look for the extra bottle of lube Kurt kept under the bed, and just accidently came across a big, black suitcase. And, well, he kinda opened it with the expectation of finding something… exciting inside.
Most definitely not a boyfriend pillow.
"Kurt?" Blaine looks down at the pillow in his hands.
"Wha'?" Kurt calls from the bathroom.
"I couldn't… find the lube…"
Kurt walks into the bedroom, patting his wet hair with a towel, and his eyes widen when he sees what Blaine's holding. "Oh, no," he mutters. "No, no no no no no," he leaves the towel on the door handle, and walks determinedly to grab the pillow from Blaine's hands. "Hell no." He stuffs it back in its case, shuts it, and shoves it back under the bed. "You did not see it, it does not exist, and I'm throwing it away tomorrow." Kurt pokes Blaine's chest with his index finger. "Understood?"
Blaine chuckles. "It's cute."
Kurt eyes him and crosses his arms. "No, it's not cute. I bought it was after we broke up. I was desperate and dumb and lonely and disgusting, which resulted in wasting money I didn't have to buy something I didn't need to try and make things better, even though it didn't help in the slightest."
Blaine looks at Kurt's embarrassed face. "You totally named him, didn't you?" He smirks as Kurt gulps. "Ohhh, you did."
"I did not!" Kurt says, blushing.
"You're Kurt Hummel, of course you did. What's his name?"
Kurt narrows his eyes at Blaine.
"Okay, probably not Blaine, because you were still mad at me. Wait, do I not want to know? Is it, like, Adam or something?"
Kurt sighs and rolls his eyes. "His name is not Adam."
"So he does have a name!" Blaine calls triumphantly.
Kurt groans. "Why do I even love you," he shakes his head. His hands are still crossed tight over his chest.
Blaine stretches upwards to steal a kiss from Kurt's pursed lips and chuckles again. "Is his name Taylor Lautner?"
That makes Kurt hold back a smile. "No, he's too soft. I bet cuddling Taylor Lautner would be kinda similar to cuddling a brick."
Blaine kisses him again. He still doesn't open his lips, but Blaine doesn't mind. "Come on, you won't tell me, your beloved boyfriend?" He puts his best puppy face on.
Kurt huffs. "More like my annoying-as-heck-yet-somehow-beloved boyfriend."
Blaine just pouts and flutters his eyelashes.
It takes Kurt exactly six seconds to give in. "Fine, fine, I named him Bruce."
Blaine's expression turns puzzled. "Why?"
Kurt shrugs. "Why not?"
Blaine gently uncrosses Kurt's arms- he doesn't fight him- and hugs him tight, resting his head on his shoulder. "He really didn't help you at all?"
Kurt shrugs again. "I missed you, you know? A pillow can never feel like you, no matter if I dressed it in one of your shirts and sprayed your perfume on it."
Blaine doesn't push further. "Where did you get my perfume?"
"I was doing really badly at that point. It was after Mr. Schue's not-wedding, and I just went and got a sample of the perfume you always wore," Kurt says in a blank tone, but his arms wrap around Blaine's waist as he speaks.
They breathe together for a silent moment.
"Do you want to nap before we have sex again?'
Kurt nods, and so they stumble onto the bed, Blaine pulling Kurt onto him. He lays his head on Blaine's chest, and drapes his hand over it. Blaine puts a hand on his waist and the other in his hair, slightly possessive and very gentle as his breath caresses Kurt's face.
They lie in their warm bubble until they fall asleep.
Why did it get emotional again dammit I just wanted a funny drabble for once gosh brain what's wrong with you sometimes.