I don't own MR

Fang

Lonely and alone are too vastly different words. I came to realize this while stumbling through crowded images of destruction.

On one hand you have lonely. The deepest, most agonizing of the two. It made my heart twist and shatter until there was nothing left but a wave of blood to prove I had once had life. Yes, I was surrounded by people. My mother, Jeb, Max's dead body, erasers nipping at my wings- no. I didn't have wings anymore. They ripped them off of me. I had thought I would be normal for once but that was a false assumption. I was not, nor would I ever be, the textbook definition of normal. But why would I want to be when I had an equally abnormal girlfriend? Oh wait, I didn't. Max was dead. I had killed her.

"Fang, you're just staring off into space." My mother's voice wrapped around me like a boa constrictor would it's prey. Even trapped in her suffocating lilac perfume I was lonely. Even with her eyes as dark as mine staring at me I was lonely.

"There is no space, I'm dead. Space doesn't exist when you're dead. Nothing does."

"You're not dead." Jeb had somehow morphed into the image before me, standing next to my mother like a loyal dog. Only he wasn't loyal, and I hated him more than my own father.

"I feel like it." I growled out, although there was no grit to it. All I could do was picture the blood running over my hands, pouring over like silky water. Of course her blood would feel like silk. Everything about Max felt nice. So why not the crimson liquid I drew from her?

"Well you're not. You're just… trapped." The hideous man both inside and out let his voice waver, almost as if he was unsure, just like I was unsure.

"Where?"

"We're your subconscious, Fang. If you don't know, how can we?" My mother's voice was gentle enough, but there was something more sinister to her tone. It was a complexity I doubted my subconscious could have dreamed up. I had barely made C's in school and I was expected to be able to make up my mother's voice to sound sweet and sour at the same time? Unlikely.

"I wanna go home."

"You don't even know where home is," Jeb snarled, stepping forward, away from my mother who faded into nothing more than a shadow as I became the lucky guy to have a one-on-one with none other than the Devil himself. "And even if you knew you couldn't go," he added, "If you don't know what you're trapped in then you can't escape it!" He was screaming yelling, getting closer. I was screaming and yelling too, but in nothing more than fear. I was terrified of Jeb, of what my subconscious thought him to be. A monster. A wild, vicious beast who could strike faster than a cobra and kill more aggressively than a boar at midnight.

"GO AWAY!" I yelled, my voice cracking as I fell out of the chair I was sitting in to me knees. It was all too much, the pain, the agony, the nightmares, the people's voices that haunted by hollow being, the loneliness.

My eyes, which I hadn't realized were shut, opened then, and when I didn't see Jeb standing in front of me I felt my neck creek sharply as I turned my peripheral vision in every possible direction making sure he was gone.

Now I was alone.

Without anyone around I could breathe a sigh of relief and sit back down in the metal chair. My arms crossed over my chest and I leaned back, closing my eyes as I sat there, content, if only for the moment. Ever since I had seen Max's death I hadn't gotten a moment of peace, and so I took a deep breath and relished in the few seconds I would have before the joyous idea of being alone would fade into a simple thought that would soon be forgotten.

It was forgotten all at once with the sudden jolt of my head banging against something hard, something concrete, something that left my vision seeing spots.

Only it wasn't just spots I saw. It was her. My beautiful girlfriend. Her hair was shorter than I remembered, and her eyes more broken. But I was seeing her, alive and well. I couldn't remember what had me look over towards her, but I was glad I had. I could see her, I could smile at her, I could love her again. He was there.

I breathed out her name like it was the last time I would ever say it, and blinked once to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

I must have been, because then she wasn't there anymore, and I was sitting in a chair again and my life was nothing but a dull darkness that swept through me like dust settles in a house. You don't realize its there until someone points it out.

Max just pointed it out.

Although I had originally thought being lonely was worse than being alone, I began to rethink my own opinions as I pictured Max again, her hair grazing her shoulders and her crushed eyes slowly piecing themselves back into the beautiful dark brown irises I knew so well. I knew all of her so well. Everything. From the way her hands clenched into fists when she was angry to the silent tears she used as a lullaby at night.

I needed her so much. It was even more terrifying than Jeb towering over me like a vulture over it's prey. I was terrified of how much I loved Max. How was it possible to love someone so strongly that you can break out of your trap for them, if only for a moment.

Max something inside of me caused the word to fall out of my mouth. My heart spoke before my mind could process it, and suddenly I wasn't trapped within the confines of darkness anymore, but I was in a room, staring half a ceiling, and half at the gorgeous girl leaning over me, an angry look in her eyes quickly fading to a desperate panic.

Remember me, look at me, she screamed, and her voice was like a sorrowful song on repeat, playing over and over until it got too tired to play anymore.

I wanted to say more to her, to tell her how much I missed her, how sorry I was that I had killed her, that I would do anything to bring her back, that I wanted to kill myself but I wasn't even sure if I was alive anymore, but I could only say one thing. Her name.

Max

Heyo! Hope everyone's having a glorious holiday break. If you're a Christmas celebrator like me MERRY CHRISTMAS (just in case I don't get another update in by then) and if you are anything else like Hanukah, Kwanza, or anything, I hope your holiday is going absolutely amazingly.

So, since this is the 70th chapter (I promise this thing is ending soon) Let's try 770 Reviews total? Huh? Huh?

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