I feel like I'm always apologizing at the beginning of my chapters, but I really am sorry.

I started this chapter back during the summer but hit a block and then school started and all of my writing and reading got pushed to the back burner. Anyways, I started winter break and finished this chapter-and then my internet was down.

So, after several setbacks, here's another update.

DISCLAIMER: the characters are not mine.

CHAPTER 13

I rushed into Bucky's Diner, twenty minutes late for my shift. Tina had to jump out of my way almost dropping her tray of dishes as I zipped past her.

"Jesus, Cammie!" She exclaimed.

I mumbled an apology as I bumped the door to the back room open. And then stopped in the doorway.

Bucky stood in the middle of the room, a box propped on her hip. She gave my appearance a hard look. "So you cared enough to show up, did you?"

I gave her my most apologetic look. "I am so sorry."

She sighed and adjusted the box. "Just get to work."

I nodded and grabbed my apron. I was out of the back room as quickly as I'd gone in. Now, all I had to deal with was the afternoon rush. I lost myself in orders for the next four hours, avoiding Tina's curious gaze and Bucky's occasional and disappointed shake of the head. When my shift was over at four I tried to leave quietly but Tina was getting off at the same time and caught up to me.

"Late night last night, Cammie?"

"Not really." I mumbled.

"Then a long morning with Zach?"

I stopped in the middle of the parking lot and looked at her. "Excuse me?"

She looked at her nails nonchalantly. "You guys are neighbors, right? I heard you two hang out a lot."

"Oh." I said. "I wasn't hanging out with him."

"Cool." She bit her lip and then smiled at me. "So, did you hear about the Fourth of July party? Eva and Zach apparently hooked up. At least, that's what she said. I haven't found anyone who can corroborate the story, though." She gave me a sly look. "You wouldn't be able to tell me anything about that would you, Cammie?"

My keys slipped out of my hand, and I bent to pick them up. Just a few more steps to my car and then I could get away from Tina. I was beginning to see what Macey found so irritating about her. "I'm not the girl to ask, Tina."

"Really."

I nodded and went to unlock my door, but she leaned against it. I looked her in the face, ready to bitch her out but stopped when I took in her expression. For once, she didn't look like she was digging for a story but like she was truly concerned.

"Is everything okay with you, Cam?"

"Yeah."

She rolled her eyes. "If you hadn't been a half hour late for work today, I'd believe you, but Cammie, you're never late for work."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is. And I'm not saying I'm mad that I had to cover your tables earlier - Lord knows you've covered for me enough times. But if you need someone to talk to, I want you to know I'm here." She gave me a small smile. "I won't even tell anyone what you say afterward. Scout's honor."

I blinked, my eyes suddenly very watery. "Thanks, Tina. But I'm fine, really." I smiled at her. "But I won't be if you don't let me in my car. I'm supposed to meet Macey and if I'm late to that, I might be dead this time tomorrow."

Tina smiled and moved out of my way. She placed a hand on my shoulder for a second. "I know you've got Macey and Bex and Liz, but if there's something you don't feel you can tell them, you've got other friends, Cammie. You've got me."

"Thanks, Tina."

I got in my car and started the ignition. I reversed and headed out of the parking lot. I could see in my rearview mirror as I turned onto the street. She was getting into her own car but she looked up one last time to watch me leave.

Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

~.~.~.~

I didn't go to see Macey. I texted her when I pulled into my driveway and told her I wasn't feeling well. She responded quickly, stating that she took this to mean that she had complete control over the road trip playlist. I didn't care enough to answer and just headed up to my room.

The blinds were shut and the room was dark despite the afternoon sun still shining. I lay down on my bed in the dark, letting the coolness of the sheet embrace my body. And then, I let myself wallow.

Last night had been horrible.

It would have been easier if he'd yelled or gotten mad. But no, Josh was too good of a guy to do that. He had spoken softly and calmly, like he was explaining a simple math equation to an elementary student. How could I be mad at someone who had so much patience for someone like me, who seemed to keep messing up.

"I just don't understand, Cammie. Why don't you like DeeDee?"

"I think you need to apologize."

"DeeDee's my friend, Cam."

"I don't know what's gotten into you lately."

"I have to go but...is everything okay? Are we good?"

In my head, I screamed that no, we weren't good because he was a plane ride and a sea away with some all-american bimbo, and I was here in Smalltown, USA. With neighbor boy Zachary Goode, the asshole who I was pretty sure tried to kiss me right when Josh called.

And who I almost kissed.

I groaned loudly and buried my face in my hands. What was wrong with me?

I heard my phone buzz and spread my arm out, reaching with my hand to find where I'd tossed it on my bed. When I grasped it, I didn't bother checking the caller ID before answering.

"What?"

"Can we talk?"

I should've checking the effing caller ID. "This isn't really a good time, Zach."

"I can see your car in your driveway."

"What, are you stalking me or something?"

He sighed into the phone. "Don't be melodramatic, Cammie."

"You sure know how to charm a girl, Zachy."

There was a moment of silence. "I really think we should talk about what almost happened yest-"

"Shut up, jackass."

I hung up before he could reply and turned my phone off. I grabbed my pillow from above my head and screamed into it.

Why was I so mad? Was it my conversation with Josh? Was it the fact that he didn't seem to be missing me at all and, in fact, was having a blast with his new pal, DeeDee? Or was it me feeling guilty for having almost kissed a boy who wasn't my boyfriend?

I knew it was wrong and childish to be acting the way I was, but something inside me wouldn't let me stop.

Thwap. My head shot up from the unexpected sound. Thwap. It was coming from the window facing Zach's house. So he was shooting nerf darts again, was he? I went to the window and pulled the blinds up. Sure enough, Zach was leaning against his window sill and pointing his gun right at me. He motioned at me, and I begrudgingly cranked the window open.

"Leave me alone, Zach."

He shook his head. "Not until we talk."

I huffed. "I thought guys weren't supposed to be into talking about emotions and shit."

He shrugged. "Maybe I'm not like most guys, then."

"Or maybe you're not a guy at all." I flashed a snarky grin at him which he did not return.

"I know what you're trying to do, Cammie."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You're trying to get me pissed off at you so I'll be all too happy to stop talking to you. But it's not gonna work."

We'll see about that.

"You've made this assumption about me because you saw me with Eva at the bonfire. But you've got it wrong, Cammie."

"Oh, so you and Eva weren't going at it against the shed."

He set his gun down and ran a hand through his hair. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you don't know the context. And that's why..."

"Why what?"

"That's why you're looking at me like you are now." He finished. "Like you've got me all figured out. But you don't. I'm not the kind of guy you think I am."

I rolled my eyes. "Then what kind of guy are you?"

He didn't answer, just stared at me.

"Well?"

"How'd your conversation with your boyfriend go?"

"That really has nothing to do with you."

"I think it does."

I let out a strangled laugh. "You've never even met Josh or seen the two of us together. But you think you've got us all figured out! No chemistry, right?"

Even from this distance, I saw his jaw twitch.

After a moment, I sighed. "Josh is fine. He's having a grand time in Central America."

He kept looking at me as though he expected me to elaborate, but that was all I was going to give him on Josh.

But I was still the one to break the silence. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything, Cammie."

I don't know why this was the question I chose to ask him or how it occurred to me. All I knew was that once I had thought of it, I had to ask. "

"Where are your parents?"

I could tell that wasn't the question he'd been expecting. I didn't blame him - I went from being pissed as hell at him to asking deeply personal questions about his home life.

He looked at me for a long moment. It stretched out so far that it almost seemed to extend the distance between and then, like a rubber band, it pulled us together. "They're gone."

I looked down at the ground a story below us. It was windy today and the bushes below rustled as the air traveled through their gaps, pushing them up against one another and forcing them into positions they had not grown to occupy.

Zach's voice seemed to come from a far away place when he next spoke. "Where's your dad?"

I swallowed, trying to dispel the lump that had formed in my throat. "Gone," I replied hoarsely. "He's gone, too."

I looked back at the boy across from me. "I'm sorry I'm such a bitch."

He shook his head. "Don't say that."

"But I am! Here I am, yelling at you, and what have you done to deserve it?"

Zach shrugged. "We all crack sometimes. Sometimes we have so much stress or pressure on us that it affects the people around us as well."

"You're being too understanding."

He shrugged yet again. "That's what happens when you live with a psychologist, I guess. You learn to see the world from perspectives other than your own."

I smiled a little. "Try not to sound too smug now."

He grinned back at me. "I haven't the slightest idea what you mean."

We smiled at each other for another minute before I started to realize the moment was starting to turn awkward. I cleared my throat and stood up straight. Zach followed suit. We continued to look at each other without saying anything.

"Do you want to come over?" I asked. "I've got lemonade."

"Well, can't let that lemonade go to waste." He grinned at me again, and my heart sped a little bit. "I'll be right over."

And then he closed his window and disappeared from sight. I slowly did the same, consumed by my thoughts. Somehow Zach was not only the person that frustrated and irritated me most of all, but also the one that calmed me and brought me back to earth. Ever since he'd moved to town my emotions had been all over the place. Considering I'd expected to spend the summer in a deep depression, I supposed I should feel lucky that while I had felt so much frustration in the past month, I had also had moments of incredible happiness.

I heard the front door open downstairs. "Cammie?" Zach called from down below.

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. "Coming!"

I headed out of my room but paused when I caught my reflection in the mirror and recalled one more thing Josh had said on the phone last night. "You said you were happy for me, Cammie. I thought this summer was going to fun for both of us."

If ever there was a time to change my perspective, it was now. Things obviously were not working for me as they were. I was tired, so tired. I had begun this summer expecting nothing more than a monotonous and depressive three months. But my summer could be different from that expectation if I let it. Instead of focusing on my relationship with Josh, I needed to focus on the here and now, on what was right in front of me. Maybe then I could have fun.

Sometimes the greatest parts of life can happen in the little moments - even in a blink of the eye.

I took a deep breath and gathered myself once more, the action almost familiar to me. Internal pep talks seemed to be becoming part of my routine now. I heard a thunk downstairs as something hit the floor followed by Zach cursing.

"What did you break?" I called as I headed downstairs.

"Nothing!"

"It better not have been my mother's blue vase."

"I didn't break anything." I turned the corner at the bottom of the stairs to see Zach at the end of the hall holding said vase in both of his hands. "Knocking something over is not the same as breaking it."

I smiled a little. "Not to my mother."

He rolled his eyes and set the vase back down in its place. "You really can be dramatic, Cammie."

I shrugged and passed him into the kitchen, letting the comment pass this once. He sat down at the kitchen table as I poured two glasses of the advertised lemonade.

"So…" Zach said. "Do you want to talk about Josh? I promise not to gag."

I gave him a knowing look. "Do you actually want to talk about what made you make out with Eva?"

He smirked at me. "No, not really."

"Then I guess you have my answer."

I sat down and handed him his glass. He took a long drink from it and then smacked his lips. "That's tart."

"It's fresh squeezed."

He looked impressed. "Really."

"No."

He laughed. I laughed too.

And thus the hectic cycle of my emotions completed once again, and this time I forced myself not to think about how the next cycle would play out. I stayed in the present, in the now. I stayed with Zach.

Quick Note: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED! I really appreciated all of your reviews, and the response I got meant a lot to me. I've never gotten that many reviews for a chapter for me before so I was pretty giddy. :)

Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors.