Chapter Sixty
Jasper
Well I'd passed my first test with flying colors, convincing Caius I was not The Major but a damn good replica of. It had been hard, absorbing the terror and pain of the two humans plus the same feelings and rage of the newborns I had murdered myself but I had done it. This was the only way to ensure Bella's safety and that was paramount to me. How I would cope for any length of time I didn't know but that was something to worry about when it came to it. My thirst scorched my throat after all that activity and healing the bite I had sustained but I tried not to show it too much, unfortunately Caius was most concerned for my welfare right now and hadn't missed it.
"I have something for you "Major,"
He went to an open pit in the ground and gestured,
"I asked them to keep a couple of humans for you to feed on after your exertions. I believe they thought they might see that as they collected their money, The Major in all his glory but alas it wasn't to be. Still help yourself, I know you won't need a ladder down there and I don't want you wasting energy chasing them so it will be easy for you to just drop on them. Go ahead."
I had no choice but to leap down into the pit, much shallower than the one Maria had used to torture me but then it only had to keep humans captured. There were two figures hunched together terror spreading all about them and hitting me like a sledgehammer. They had heard the other humans ripped to pieces and the sounds of the fight and knew it was their turn to die. I braced myself against their pain and took their lives quickly, the girl first so her terror was over speedily. The warm blood cooled my parched throat instantly and I felt the strength and healing properties of it flood my parched body. It was like nectar and if it hadn't come at so high a price both for me and the humans I would allow myself to revel in it but I still felt their terror and pain and they would stay with me for a long time, they always had, tormenting me as soon as I tried to relax. I thought about Bella as I jumped back out of the pit to see Caius smiling broadly,
"Now if only the real Major had stayed on such a diet he may not have taken the road he did. Still everyone knew he only turned to animals because of the price he paid with his gift. What a good thing you don't have that. I don't think you'll need to pretend too much, not as you are going to tell my allies that you decided to give up the vegetarian diet and live your life to the fullest once more. You can always tell them you found a way to block the emotions if they ask but I doubt they will."
Caius
I was even happier now and told The Major as I would think of him from now on to take some time to familiarize himself with the compound and develop his training plan for the newborns who would be arriving soon. I expected he would use the same plan Maria had him follow. I could have asked Maria to come along and help with the lure of an even larger territory for her own but I didn't like the thought of her knowing too much. If she hadn't been like me, greedy and ambitious I would have had her killed once her work with The Major was over but she could be trusted, I knew exactly what pushed her buttons and when this was over she could have what she wanted, Mexico would be hers to rule as she saw fit and the vampire world would be in my grasp at last.
Jasper
There was nothing to see in the compound, it was exactly like Maria's and I took the largest cabin for my own. Here I would train my own Majors to run their own groups of newborns and that would be my first task, to pick out those with the potential to become leaders themselves. I had no idea how old these newborns were or how long I had to work with them. My main concern was finding out what exactly Caius had in mind and who his allies were although I thought I might already know that.
The only people with any influence in our world other than the Volturi were the Romanians and they still had their followers, some of whom would be only too happy to take on the Volturi if they thought they stood a chance and with Caius they well might. I could try getting a message out now but I decided to wait, I needed to know what their plan was or I would have to risk contacting Darius twice and that was a risk I wouldn't take unless forced to.
I threw my bag in one corner and sat on the wooden shelf running along one wall that would be covered in maps of enemy positions most of the time in Maria's cabin. I knew she was truthful in her offer to help but I still didn't understand why. She said she still loved me but I had found out she didn't long ago, she merely used me to get whatever it was she wanted. I was no more than a weapon to her. Had reading my journal really made such a difference to her feelings for me? Had she finally understood what being in love really meant? Of course thinking of that had me thinking of Bella and what she meant to me.
I shouldn't be here going through all this, I should be at home with my mate, in her arms, in our own bed, telling her how much she meant to me. I could feel her absence deep in my chest, a cold hard lump that seemed to swell with every passing hour I was away from her. Would it become crippling if I were away too long? If I showed any signs of distress could I come up with a good excuse?
I didn't want to waste anymore time on this than I was forced to but until I found out what Caius plan was I had no alternative, Bella's safety was in my hands. Was she OK with the others? I had no doubt they would look after her but would she find my absence too distressing and more worrying once she found out what I had been forced to do. That I was not only drinking human blood again but killing in numbers.
Could she forgive me the lives I was going to take? Would she be able to kiss the lips that were stained with the blood of innocent humans? Would she let the arms that had ripped limbs and heads wrap around her? Bella was still human and couldn't possibly understand that what I was doing was unavoidable. I prayed that Darius or Charlotte would try to explain it to her but until I saw her again and had her in my arms I would worry that I might have lost her and that would make things even harder, too hard in fact.
The only way I was going to get through this alive and sane was if I could stop myself thinking about her at all. There was a way, Carlisle had taught it to me when I found my blood lust just too hard to bear the first few years I was with the family. Then it had helped, it didn't stop me thinking about my yearning altogether but it made it more bearable. The only way to stop it altogether was to drop the memory into a deep hole in my mind and seal it there but as Carlisle had explained doing that was easy, getting it back harder and my experiences were a part of me, the struggle against my thirst was something that made me strong. Forgetting about Bella, forgetting my mate was waiting for me made sense of what I was doing, if I buried that I would become the man I hated, the man alone, unloved and unwanted having only my martial skills to make me worthy of living. If things got too hard I might have to do that but I would resist it as long as I could.