So, wow. The episode was just... I don't even want to talk about it. It was devastating, unexpected and UNNECESSARY. I have written this fanfiction in just about a week and it's already complete, so you'll get to see what my plan was. I'm not going to change it because of what happened in the show. As I stated on the summary, Lexa IS going to be attacked (it's funny to think about HOW she'll be attacked, after watching the episode), but I am going to end this story quite differently.

LEXA

We're getting ready for Clarke's departure in the morning. She seems quite excited about going back to Skikru, but her eyes tell me that she's worried, like I've never seen her before.

"Indra."

"Sha, Heda ?"

"You need to protect Clarke at all costs during this journey back to her camp, even if it costs you everything you have." I tell her. "I won't be there, she's your priority. You need to do whatever she says."

"Ai badan yu op en nou moun. "

I serve you and no other.

"Ai sonraaun laik em sonraun nau. Sis em au ge hou."

My life is her life now. Help her get home.

Indra looks at me for a minute, saying nothing. I don't need her to understand my motives. I don't think I want her to know why I'm doing this. I just want her to protect Clarke, because if anything happens to her, I'll blame myself for the rest of my life. I feel like what I feel for Clarke has never happened to me before, I'm not sure how to describe it. I get up and she's next to me, usually already awake. She's always there, from the moment I wake up, to the moment I fall asleep. I feel like I need to protect her all the time, even if I'm pretty sure she'd be able to protect herself in case of an attack. I wait every day for something, or someone, to attack Polis like they did with Indra's village.

What would I do ?

Would they willingly attack Clarke ? Would they hurt her ?

The thing is, they don't know that she's here yet. They could attack us with the idea of attacking grounders, but she's here as well. This is the main reason why I'm letting her go back to camp Jaha. I need them to know that they can't attack us, because one of them is here with us. Their leader is here with us and attacking us means attacking us. And anyone who attacks her attacks me.

Yu jomp em op en yu jomp ai op.

"Hodnes laik kwelnes, Heda."

Love is weakness, Commander.

Of course she knows. She's Indra, she knows everything. There's no time to talk about this now, though.

"Indra, I am your commander. You need to do whatever I tell you to do, without complaining. Without commenting on my choices nor on my motives."

"Sha, Heda."

She walks away, leaving me alone once more. Clarke usually spends a few hours a day in the arena, training with warriors. She feels like she's not skilled enough and wants to learn how to fight. I'm not allowed to go there because apparently, after seeing me fight with Roan, she's embarrassed.

I don't understand. Sky people are confusing.

Usually, when Clarke is busy with her lessons, I take care of Nightbloods. Today doesn't feel like a good day to teach, though. I feel like my fear for Clarke would be perceived by the Nightbloods and I don't want them to think that I have weaknesses. One of them is going to take my place when I die, they need to understand that being the Commander means setting your feelings aside and doing everything with your head rather than with your heart.

"Lexa ? Weron yu kamp raun ?"

Where are you ?

Apparently, my favourite Sky person is back.

"Hir, Wanheda."

I turn around and see her walking towards me, with a huge smile on her face. She kisses me tenderly on the lips and I still can't believe how lucky I am. As always, she's covered in bruises and fresh cuts from the fights. Her hair is messy, her clothes dirty.

She starts laughing and says :

"Do you remember when I didn't understand a word of Trigedasleng ?"

"I do. I used to talk in Trigedasleng all the time whenever you were around, just to make sure you couldn't understand what I was saying. I remember when Quint attacked you and I had to make him understand how wrong was to attack you. I talked to him in Trigedasleng so you wouldn't understand that I already cared about you." I tell her, a bit embarrassed. I did use Trigedasleng so that she wouldn't understand, I needed her to see me as the fearless and powerful commander of the twelve clans.

"What did you tell him ?" She asks, her curious blue eyes not leaving my gaze. "I don't really remember. At that time, I thought you'd told him that you wanted to be the one to kill me. Because I remember thanking you and you gave me a death stare.. I thought you were mad at me because I was trying to get myself killed by someone who wasn't you."

I laugh. "Yu jomp em op en yu jomp ai op. Not exactly what you thought, huh ?"

"Nope, not quite. I hope you still believe it's true, though." She whispers, blushing. "Because it is for me."

"Of course I do. Possibly more than I did when he attacked you."

She looks at me, those beautiful eyes lighting up. "Thank you for letting me do this."

"Of course, Clarke. I know you need them. Thank you for letting me have you escorted. It means a lot, even if you probably don't understand."

"I do, I would do the same if I were you."

I know she would. But it's different. I can fight, I can survive in the woods without feeling constantly afraid for my own life. She's essentially defenceless.

"What are your plans for this trip ?" I ask her.

"I think I'll be staying there for a couple of days, then I'll be back here. I want to go there by myself this time, but you'll be coming with me the next time I go. I want my people to understand that our alliance is still working, I want them to understand that you are not our enemy. I can't let them attack again. And I'm sure they will if I don't explain what's going on." She says and I now know that we have the same goal in mind. Maybe for different reasons, but it doesn't really matter.

"Alright, I'll be here when you come back."

It's late at night, but we don't want to sleep yet. We've spent every moment together since the day she got here and I'm not sure how it'll be once she's gone. Even if it's for just a couple of days. The only moments when she wasn't with me were when she was training, but I knew she was there. I knew I could go see her if I needed to. I knew I could protect her. I knew I could be there for her if she needed me.

I'm not sure that she'll be safe there.