30. Breathe
"Why not?" Leo demanded.
Reyna looked at him incredulously. "Why not? Leo!" Her voice was rising without her meaning it to, but she couldn't seem to help it. She was a crescendo of emotions. Anger, insecure, wary, hurt, afraid. "We've only been dating for a month and- you just asked me to marry you!"
"So?" He asked her, insecurity flickering in his own eyes. "You admit to me last night that you never even thought a love like this existed- and neither did I. Isn't that enough? Or was that a lie?"
"Don't be stupid," Reyna lashed out in her confusion. "Of course I'm in love with you Leo, but I can't marry you."
"Why?" He shouted at her again. "You keep saying, over and over again about how it's too fast. But we don't need to marry right away, we can wait years if you want. I just- I know that I don't want to spend the rest of my life bound to anybody but you. Don't you feel the same?"
"You don't understand, you've never lost someone before…"
She trailed off at the shocked look on his face and the hardening of his eyes, realizing what she'd just said.
"My mother died in a fire because of me." Leo told her quietly. "I know what it's like to lose someone you love."
"I didn't mean… I wasn't finished." Reyna said weakly. "You've never been abandoned by somebody you love. I've been abandoned by my father since I was born, left by my sister, left by Jason when I thought I was in love with him… It hurts, Leo, and I'm scared that when you wake up tomorrow, or in a month or a year and realize who you've chosen to be with you'll want to leave too."
Leo shook his head. "My mom dying proved that I have to make the most of every single second I have with you. I want to put a ring on your finger to show everybody else that you are mine. And I know you, we've talked about this before. People leaving isn't the only reason, is it?"
"Leo…"
"What is it, Reyna?" He moved forward and grabbed her hands in his. "Is it because I snore? I'll stop, I swear. I'll invent something to make me stop snoring permanently."
She had to laugh, weakly, at that. "No."
"Then what?" He asked in frustration.
Reyna snapped. "It's because I wanted to say yes!" She cried. "Because we've only been dating for a month and you just asked me to marry you, and I wanted to say yes. That's not how it works, that's not how I work. I think things through, I plan, I do what's best for everybody. But when I'm around you I do what I want, and it's absolutely crazy. It's because I'm afraid that you'll end up like everybody else and leave. Leo, when I'm around you I can't even breathe, but without you I'd be broken. It's because if you ever did decide to leave after I've let myself believe we were married and going to be forever and getting our happily ever after, it would destroy me. And that scares me, Leo, because I don't want to let myself believe that if it's just going to crash and burn around us."
Leo's eyes searched hers before moving to wrap his arms around her waist as she relaxed instinctively against him. "Kiss me."
"What?"
"Kiss me," Leo said softly, pushing back a strand of her hair. "And then tell me if you don't think we're forever."