Just warning you all right now, this is complete crack. I don't know where it came from but... this was the result.
31. Fruit
"No way."
"Come on."
"Nuh uh."
"Please?"
"Reyna, no!"
Jason and Piper stopped just inside Bunker Nine, out of view of their two friends. Piper looked at Jason, Jason looked at Piper, and both had curious looks on their faces.
"Leo, I think- no, I know this would be good for us. Think of all of the things we could do-"
"No."
"Look how juicy it is."
Piper's eyes widened and Jason's hand tightened around hers as his face flamed.
What exactly were they listening to?
"What if I spray you?"
"You won't. Honestly Leo, that doesn't happen that often."
"It tastes weird…"
Jason choked at Leo's words and after a few seconds a horrorstruck Piper heard him continue. "It's sort of… mushy…"
Jason looked a lovely shade of green by now.
"But isn't it good?"
Sounds of people shuffling reached them once more and Piper squeezed her eyes shut, desperately trying to not imagine anything.
"Okay, okay." Leo admitted grudgingly. "You win. I like it."
"Good!" Reyna's voice was higher than usual. "Now I want a taste…"
She trailed off and there was some more fumbling, scrapes of a chair moving and Piper felt something like sick work its way up her throat.
Oh gods, she had to get out of here…
"Jason," she hissed.
Jason seemed to be staring in a state of shock at the floor.
"Jason!" She tried again, nudging him.
"What?" He yelped, louder than Piper had wanted.
The voices and movements stopped until a second later Reyna appeared, perfectly dressed and completely calm. "Oh hey. What are you guys doing just standing here?"
"We…"
Leo appeared beside her- also looking… normal.
And holding a half-eaten orange.
Piper's face flamed at the same time Jason's did. Oh wow…
"I was just getting Leo to eat an orange," Reyna looked victorious. "You know how much he hates fruit."
Leo rolled his eyes. "I've decided I like oranges," he muttered. "But Piper, don't you dare start trying to make me eat apples or pomegranates or something."
Piper set aside her embarrassment momentarily. "Why would I-"
Leo wagged a finger at her, snapping after. "I know how you girls get," he said in a mock teenage girl voice. "Trying to eat salads and fruit and vegetables instead of actual food. Am I right, Jason?"
Jason broke out of whatever stupor he was stuck in. "Huh? Yeah."
Piper frowned. "I'm a vegetarian, Leo, there's nothing wrong with that."
"And I like meat." Reyna said.
Leo waggled his eyebrows at her. "Well I know that."
Jason coughed. "Okay!" He said too brightly. "I just remembered- I promised Annabeth we'd spar… I gotta go."
And the ditcher totally left Piper standing alone stuttering half formed words with a red face.
Because she really did not need to hear about how Reyna was a… meat lover, after what she had just thought she heard.
"I have to go help him." She finally said, before turning and rushing out of Bunker Nine, ready to smack her boyfriend for leaving her in that situation.
Needless to say, Reyna and Leo were left standing very confused behind them.