Chapter 41 – I Will Be Real Once Again
*Trigger warning- A/N – Again, it's not very detailed but this chapter contains some mentions of self-harm and suicide. We don't mean to offend or upset anybody so we wanted to add this little note at the beginning*
Throwing the door open to her house and letting it slam behind her, Avery leaned against it as she breathed heavily, tears burning her eyes at the sound of hundreds of birds flying into the door.
"Stop!" she shouted violently pulling on her hair as she slid down the door onto the floor with a thud, as the sickening sounds continued from the other side of the wood door.
Her hands balled into fists as she continued to scream out into the empty house, her voice bouncing off the walls and hurting her own ears.
Continually, she beat her fists down on her legs, pain meant control… but this time she couldn't pull herself back.
She wasn't sure how it was even late enough for the sun to be going down outside, it felt like only moments ago that she'd left Deputy Parrish's house that morning; apparently, she'd lost hours of time that day.
Finally, the sounds stopped and she looked around, not sure if she'd been dreaming or if she'd hallucinated the entire thing.
With trembling legs she managed to stand up and slowly open the door, to reveal nothing but a brilliant sunset painted across the sky.
Breathing a sigh of relief she closed the door, then paused when she heard a noise from down the hallway.
"Dad?" Avery asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes, and started towards his room.
Things still weren't good between them, but in that moment she didn't care, she just needed someone there with her.
She was scared for herself -scared of herself.
But as she pushed open the door she didn't see anyone. "Dad?" she whispered, walking farther into the room until the door behind her shut, causing her to start screaming.
Whatever the hell this was, a nightmare or a waking thought it wasn't over.
Her screams were shattered by the sound of glass as birds flew into the room, swarming the entire space as they flew around, their wings sounded like thunder as more and more birds poured in from the windows until there had to be at least a thousand.
Screaming at the top of her lungs she dropped to the floor, cowering into a fetal position and trying to protect her head and face from the creatures. The terrifying experience seemed to go on for years without relief until it finally stopped and there was nothing but silence, followed by an intense, sharp pain in her leg.
Looking down she saw an arrow sticking out of her leg, confused and growing more terrified by the moment.
She reached down, gritting her teeth so hard she feared they might break, she reached down and broke the stick of the arrow, so she could remove it from her leg.
Gripping onto the edge of a nearby table, she pulled herself to her feet.
"Why didn't you save me?"
Avery's gaze snapped up to where she saw Allison in the room with her, in the same clothes she'd been killed in, her face was pasty white with dark circles surrounding her red rimmed eyes.
"Allison…" Avery gasped, shaking her head back and forth.
Her brunette friend looked down at herself, and Avery followed her gaze to see blood pouring from the fatal wound she'd gotten from the Oni sword.
"You… you're not real!" Avery shouted in a pained voice as tears ran down her face and she watched her best friend's blood seep into the carpet under her feet.
"I was real," Allison shot back at her with venom in her voice, "I was real and so much better than you. I was trying to help save my friends, I died saving Isaac's life, and what have you done?"
Tears ran down her cheeks as she shook her head back and forth, making loud gasping noises –desperately trying to get oxygen into her lungs, but she couldn't get a breath.
This was what she'd been so terrified of, exactly what her mom taunted her with in nightmares; that she couldn't save her friends and she'd been right.
Avery knew it should have been her who lost her life, not Allison.
"Aww, A… look at you… you're such a mess, it's pathetic," Allison hissed nodding to Avery's arms where she'd scratched and bruised them trying to get a handle on her sanity and stay in control.
"I didn't! I –I didn't do this!" she shrieked, pulling her arms back and digging her nails into her already sore flesh as she explained in broken English, "The birds… they just kept biting me!"
"Birds, what birds?" Allison taunted, her voice harsh.
As she looked at her she cried out, "They were everywhere!"
"You're out of your mind," Allison accused. Her words cutting Avery deeper than any knife could.
"It wasn't real… none of it was real." She sobbed as she slammed the palms of her hands against her head.
She pinned her eyes shut not understanding what was happening.
With a menacing laugh, Allison continued, "I think we both knew it was only a matter of time before you ended up here, completely alone. No one cares about you, no one loves you… and how could they? You're just one disaster after another… pathetic."
Raising her head she gasped and kicked backward on the floor trying to get away as her friend's face twisted into a sinister smile, as one of the Oni's iron swords was now sticking out of her friend's chest.
"Allison… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Avery screamed as she dug her nails farther into her arms, crying out louder than before as she watched Allison pull the blade from herself and raise it like she was going to attack her.
In a panicked crawl, she made it into her dad's bathroom and slammed the door, locking it behind her as she screamed, "You're not real!"
Leaning forward she rested her forehead against the wood trying to remind herself of how Allison was dead, there was no way her friend was really there, but all reason flew out of the window when one of the Oni swords stabbed through the door mere inches from where her head was.
Her voice felt loud enough to break glass as it poured from her open mouth; stumbling backward she knocked the contents of the counter off onto the floor with her as she cowered against the wall.
There were so many sounds around her, Allison trying to break through the door; she could still hear the thunderous sounds of the birds' wings.
But the most distracting of all was that she could hear her heart beating; pumping the blood to the rest of her body and the sound made her sick, feeling the hot sticky liquid flowing through her veins, coursing through her arteries.
As she went to stand up her eyes landed on a pill bottle laying on its side, reaching out she picked it up and read the label on her dad's extra strength, prescription sleeping pills.
Silence; that was all she wanted just a few moments of silence to pull herself together. She told herself as she removed the child safety lid and poured some out in her hand.
"Just a few…" she whispered to herself, "Just a few pills… a few minutes…"
Instead of taking the pills, she dropped them into the toilet, listening to each pill break the surface of the water, she counted every single pill she dropped until the whole bottle was gone, a strange feeling of calmness flowing over her with each lost pill.
Looking around she realized she was somehow in her own bathroom now, a small breath of relief left her lips as she stepped out into her bedroom and realized she must have dreamt the entire ordeal.
Sitting down on the side of her bed, she continued to cry as she angrily slapped her tears away and managed to find her phone where she scrolled through her contact list, stopping on the names of her friends but she couldn't bring herself to call any of them.
It was her fault, her fault that Allison was dead, she should have been able to do something to help her, somehow change what had happened. But she couldn't, instead, she was forced to carry on day after day without her, when she knew inside that she didn't deserve to live.
How could she call any of her friends for comfort when they had every right in the world to hate her and deny her the comfort; she hated herself.
Her phone fell to the floor and she looked around, wrapping her arms around herself wishing she could somehow feel safe again, praying for an ounce of warmness in her cold, dead world.
It was then that her eyes landed on the corner of a light green shirt poking out from under her pillows, it was the shirt Parrish had given her to put on the night he'd saved her from the guy outside of the club and her dress had gotten torn.
She'd lied and told him that she must have thrown it out, that bright colors didn't stay in her room, but it was a lie.
She'd folded it up and tucked it under her pillows.
With trembling, tear slicked hands she grabbed the shirt and pulled it from its hiding place, bringing it closer she could smell his cologne on the fabric and for a second she started to feel a little calmer.
He made her feel safe and warm and in that moment she wished he was there with her as she pulled the shirt on over her head and then laid down in her bed.
As impossible as it seemed after everything she'd told him, a part of her wondered if maybe he'd told the truth when he'd said that there was nothing she could do that would make him view her any differently.
As more tears rolled down her cheeks she decided she'd call him, she couldn't be alone anymore, and maybe by some miracle he'd come to help her. Maybe with his help or at least the feeling of his comforting presence, maybe he could keep her nightmares at bay.
Leaning off the side of her bed she looked down to the floor but frowned when her cellphone wasn't there anymore, leaning down farther she reached under the edge of her bed feeling around for the cold glass screen of her phone but it wasn't anywhere.
With a groan, she threw herself off the mattress and looked under her bed, but instead of her phone she saw her cat, Annabel cowered up against the far wall.
"Annabel, it's okay…" she tried to soothe, wondering why her cat was acting so skittish.
"Is it, is anything really okay?"
Clenching her eyes shut at the voice that had haunted her nightmares for over a year, Avery said, "You're not real," as she quickly scrambled to her feet and looked around.
Her entire room was a mess, her computer and TV were broken on the floor, the large glass mirror above her dresser was shattered, not to mention her desk was completely turned on its side, clothes had been pulled from her closet and strewn all over the large bedroom.
Throwing her head back and laughing Kate Argent said, "Of course I'm real."
She darted into her bathroom and slammed the door shut behind her as she fell to the floor and scrambled over to the space between her toilet and sink, putting her back against the wall, but somehow Kate was already in the room with her, pacing back and forth as she taunted, "Do you know what my favorite subject in school was?"
Avery's bottom lip shook as she tried to find words, but she was out of them. Her voice was gone and every ounce of fight she'd had in her was burnt out, she'd never felt so hopelessly weak in her entire life.
"Science… I always loved dissecting things," Kate said as she paced back and forth in front of the broken teenager. "That feeling of opening something up, just to see what's inside… it's always been a fascination of mine."
"You see," She continued, clicking her tongue, "You know what I'm talking about, I know you do." Avery looked down to her wrist covered in two tattoos, the one she'd always wanted and the one that Stiles had picked out for her to cover her scar.
"A new beginning…" Avery whispered, her eyes stung from tears. Everything was falling apart, she never felt like she was standing on solid ground anymore. This year was supposed to be a new beginning for her, but everything always fell apart.
"A new beginning… no sweetie. Every story has an ending, and you can't keep running. Running from your past, from me…"
The thoughts she'd been forcing down came bubbling to the surface again, the nagging feeling of blood coursing through her veins, the sickening sound of her heart pumping.
As she pried apart the plastic casing of a disposable razor that was laying under her sink, tears ran down her cheeks. And Kate continued talking, "Never moving forward means there can never be a past."
She nodded as she held up the razor blade and then looked down to her wrist again, that blood needed to come out.
She had to open her skin and see what was underneath it, only then could she have the silence she needed.
Only when her heart stopped beating would the blood stop running through her veins and she'd have peace.
As she pressed the sharp blade down and started to drag it over her skin, she saw blood bead to the surface and an immediate feeling of relief started to sink in.
Seeing the crimson run off her arm meant less of it was inside of her and for reasons she was unsure of, she wanted more.
~()~
"Thank God!" Richard breathed as he saw Deputy Parrish rushing up the stairs, it had only been minutes ago that he'd put the call into the police, but the seconds had felt like hours as he tried but failed to get Avery to unlock the door to her room.
"What happened?" Parrish asked as he came to a stop outside of Avery's room. He'd been headed out of the station to go home, his shift was over, but when he heard her address over the radio he'd insisted he take the call before he rushed to her house.
Rubbing his forehead her dad said, "Our neighbor across the street called me… he said that there was screaming and crashing coming from the house, and I came home. She's… she's locked herself in her room and I don't know if she's alone or if someone is in there with her… but I can't get in," his voice cracked and he blinked back tears as he helplessly admitted, "I can't help her… I don't know how."
The end of his sentence was cut off by a muffled pained whimper from Avery before she started screaming for someone to leave her alone.
Without a second thought, Parrish drew his gun and kicked the door open rushing into her room with Avery's dad right behind him. But once he saw the open door to the bathroom, he quickly realized he didn't need the weapon.
She wasn't struggling with another person, she was struggling with her own demons. From the looks of it, she was losing the battle.
Putting the gun back in his holster, he took a few steps closer to the bathroom, his heart sinking as he saw the plastic casing of a disposable razor on the floor in front of her and a blade in her hand.
"Avery," he said, trying to remain calm for her.
Raising her head she stared at him with mascara running down her cheeks.
"You're okay, you're going to be okay," he said, his voice soft but firm, slowly taking a step forward.
"No. No, I'm not," she argued, despite the fact that she had the corner of a blade against her skin, her voice was almost eerily steady.
Taking another step forward he tried to keep calm in an attempt to not stress her out any more than she already was.
"Please, put it down… stop hurting yourself," he pleaded, carefully moving a step closer.
Seeing the look on his face broke her heart but she looked down and admitted, "It doesn't hurt."
"Avery…"
Tears started to stream down her face as she said, "If I don't move forward there can't be a past!"
Now in the doorway of the bathroom, his voice started to shake as he said, "Just take a deep breath, and think about what you're doing. Think about everyone and everything you'll be leaving behind… you can't do this."
"I want to die…" She sobbed, her tears running off her cheeks and onto his shirt she was wearing as she pinned her eyes shut.
"No you don't," he argued, starting to take another step, but paused as she pushed the blade into her skin and he saw some blood come to the surface. He was now aware of a few other cuts across her forearm, but none of them deep enough to be severe.
"I do, I –I can't do this anymore… I tried, but I can't… I just want it to end. I… have to stop, if I don't move forward there can never be a past," she repeated what her hallucination of Kate had tormented her with.
As he saw her lower her head and stare down to the blade as she started to open her skin up more, he frantically called out, "Hey! Hey, look at me! Just keep looking at me!"
Startled, her gaze snapped back up to him.
He nodded and swallowed hard as he said, "Whatever you're going through right now, whatever it is that you think is worth ending your life over, I swear to you it's not. No problem is ever that big… and there is always a solution. We can figure this out, you just… you have to try, I need you to listen to me."
"I –I don't want to try anymore…" she admitted, her body trembled and shook.
He took another step closer, he was only a short distance from her but it felt like a million miles standing between them.
"What about your family? Your friends… think about everyone you'll be leaving behind… think about Teagan," he pleaded, his brain raced with everything he'd learned about Avery, trying to come up with anything he could to get through to her.
"I'm like poison… all I do is hurt everyone around me." He wanted to take another step, but he was afraid if he moved too fast, it would set her off and she'd open a vein.
"That isn't true," he firmly said, keeping his eyes on her.
"It is!" she shouted, making him jump from the sudden outburst.
"Please don't do this," he pleaded, feeling like no amount of reasoning was going to get through to her.
Taking a cautious step forward he knelt down slightly as he said, "Avery… please, just put the blade down. Things are going to get better… please."
She mumbled out something he couldn't understand, and he slowly edged closer, glancing over his shoulder to her dad for help.
But Richard was standing in her room, watching them seemingly paralyzed by what was happening.
"Avery, let go of the blade. It's okay, I'm here," he said, his voice was hoarse as he spoke to her.
Taking in a loud breath that shook her entire frame she whispered, "You're not here."
"I am here, I don't know what else you're seeing right now, but I'm here with you and so is your dad… we're gonna get this figured out, but we can't help you if you don't let us," he said, his eyes wide with the pain of the thoughts of losing her.
"You're not going to leave me?" she asked, looking up at him as her hallucination slowly started to fade and she couldn't hear Kate's voice in her head anymore.
"I'm not leaving," he promised, now able to kneel down next to her as his constant edging closer had paid off.
"Everyone always leaves me," she said to him as more tears welled up in her eyes and she looked down to the corner of the blade still lodged in her arm.
"I'm not everyone else," he breathed out, causing her to look up at him again as she stared at him, wanting to believe he was telling the truth, but everything that had happened in her life wouldn't let her fully believe it.
"Please…" he whispered as his eyes locked with hers and he hoped by some miracle he'd somehow be able to reach her because her dad wasn't helping, he was still standing paralyzed in the bedroom.
With a loud defeated sob, she dropped the blade where it landed on her bare leg, and he quickly picked it up, tossing it across the room as he said, "Thank you."
Slowly her eyes traveled back up until they locked with his as he stared helplessly back at her.
So many thoughts were racing through his head, feeling like pushing her to open up to him the prior night was a mistake and not understanding how he didn't realize exactly how bad off she was.
Fear, that if he'd showed up any later she could have been dead; devastation at the idea of losing her.
Shaking his head back and forth he cleared his throat to try and say something, anything, as she wrapped her arms around herself and her small frame shook from loud cries and gasps for air, but then his eyes landed on the empty pill bottle beside her.
Leaning closer he grabbed onto the sides of her face, as he loudly said, "Did you take something?"
Her eyes blinked a few times, like she was being pulled from a trance and wasn't sure herself what was happening.
"Avery… answer me, did you take these!" he yelled as he grabbed the bottle and held it in front of her face, speaking much louder than before.
Cringing from his voice she reached out and gently took the bottle from him, reading the label her voice sounded almost alien as she quietly answered, "I should have…"
With the simple statement, she dropped the bottle into the toilet bowl, where he then saw the pills dissolving in the water.
Breathing a sigh of relief he lowered his head for a moment, thankful for that small victory at least.
Avery stared down at her wrist, every movement she made felt like she was moving in Jell-O, as she stared at the profusely bleeding wound that she could have sworn wasn't there a minute prior. She could feel herself starting to slip away again, drifting further away from him even though they were in the same room.
Seeing something poke out of the open skin, she pulled out a bloody feather as she asked, "Do you see it?"
Deputy Parrish looked at her as she stared at her empty hand. "Tell me what you see…"
She opened her mouth but all that came out was a blood curdling scream as she watched a black bird dig its way out of her wrist, before flying away, spraying the walls with blood spatter from its flapping wings.
"Avery!" Parrish shouted over her screams as he tried to hold onto her but she fought against him until she finally came all the way out of her nightmare and saw her intact wrist.
Parrish looked around, his eyes stopping on a white hand towel laying on the end of the sink, which he pulled off and wrapped around her bleeding forearm as he said, "It's okay, they're not that bad."
Her lips quivered as she looked at him with a completely lost look in her red rimmed eyes. "I…" she sobbed, pinning her eyes shut and looking to where he was holding the towel against her wounds. "I… just, I –I don't know what's wrong with me."
He didn't know what to say to her, so he just reached forward, gently sliding her out of the tight place she'd back into, before he picked her weakened body up, an arm under her back and the other arm under her legs as she reached up holding onto his neck and burying her face against him.
Wanting desperately to feel the warmth and comfort he usually provided for her, but for the moment she was too far gone and the darkness inside of her too deep to feel anything but coldness.
As the young deputy, stood up with her in his arms and turned around guiding them out of the bathroom, Richard backed up until his back collided with the wall and he slid down it until he landed on the floor and stared at them as Parrish sat down on the bed with her and continued to hold her close while she cried and clutched onto him, her entire body trembling.
"I'm sorry…" she breathed as tears streaked her cheeks again and her voice cracked.
"Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" he questioned, his voice soft as he looked down to where he was cradling her in his arms, then his gaze went to where her dad was sitting with a few tears running down his own face. He'd almost lost his daughter, the only family he had left, the one he was supposed to protect, and he'd almost watch her die.
"I couldn't tell you… you'd leave," she whispered as she snuggled her head against the crook of his neck and closed her eyes, bracing herself for what he may say next.
But he lowered her head and spoke so softly she barely heard him as he pointed out, "I'm still here, aren't I?"
They both watched as her dad stood up and mumbled something about calling Teagan as he left the room drying his eyes and leaving them alone, while he headed downstairs, clutching onto the railing as he went.
"I don't know why," she quietly admitted as she closed her eyes and just appreciated the fact that he was still there with her.
"Because I meant what I said, I care about you… and I want to see you get better," he explained looking down as she readjusted against him.
"Wait…" she breathed, finally looking up at him as she shakily questioned, "Why are you even here?"
"Your dad called for help, he couldn't get you out of your room," Parrish explained as he glanced around her room and admitted, "But when you didn't answer my calls earlier… I was going to come by and check on you after I went home and changed."
She frowned, not remembering getting a single phone call from anyone all day.
"This-" he said as he reached into his uniform shirt pocket and handed her a folded up piece of paper, "This, really worried me."
Slowly, she unfolded it, realizing it was the note she'd left him that morning, only it didn't look at all like she'd remembered, the beginning of it was her hand writing but as the note went on her handwriting got sloppier and more frantic looking, the last few lines and where she'd tried to sign her name were completely illegible; looked like chicken scratches at best.
"It –it looks like 2 different people wrote this note," she breathed out as she crumpled the paper and closed her hand around it.
"Avery, I'm sorry," he apologized, getting her to look up at him again as he said, "I thought if you opened up, it would help you… if I'd know this was going to happen, I never would have pushed you."
"It's not your fault," she forgave, feeling bad that he felt guilty for things far out of his control.
"Still…" he breathed.
"I didn't let anyone know how bad it was, especially you… because I didn't want you to stop talking to me," she admitted, wiping a tear from her cheek as she opened up, "I couldn't lose you because being near you is the only time I feel safe anymore…"
As she looked at him, his eyes searched her face with an unreadable expression on his own. The way she kept things hidden, he'd had no idea he had that effect on her.
"Is that why you're wearing this?" he asked, gently pulling on the shoulder fabric of his shirt that she was wearing.
With a weak smile, she whispered, "I just needed to feel safe… warm, but there was too much noise in my head. Everything just kept falling apart…"
"It's going to be okay," he said, holding onto her tighter as she quietly said, "I'm going to have to go away… out of town to some treatment place like before…"
"I know," he replied, as much as he hated the idea of her going away and him not seeing her for a while, he knew this was what she needed to get better.
"I don't know how long I'll be gone."
He heard her voice crack as she spoke and felt her clutching onto him a little tighter than before, trying to soothe her nerves some he said, "Don't worry about that, it doesn't matter how long you're gone as long as you get better. That's the most important thing right now."
"And you?" she breathed, fearful of his response.
"I'll still be here when you get back," he assured her, already knowing what she was worried about. That'd she'd leave and by the time she got back he'd be gone.
"Promise?" she quietly asked, raising her head and looking at him.
"I promise," he said, their eyes met and he tucked some of her hair behind her ear and offered her a small smile, but she was too beat down to return it.
"I, uh, I called Teagan… she's on her way," Richard said as he walked in the room and saw them both jump.
Nodding Avery glanced at Parrish before slowly sliding off of his lap and the bed, and she stood with wobbling knees and looked at her dad, who said, "I know you're going to hate this but you've got to get help, Avery. I've asked Teagan to help you decide on somewhere."
Richard braced himself, expecting an angry outburst from her but she nodded. "It's okay… I know… I can't keep going on like this anymore."
He stared at her, feeling like even the smallest thing could set her off. Clearing his throat, he said, "Avery…"
"Yeah?" she weakly asked.
Stepping forward he pulled her into a hug so tight she could barely breathe as he said, "Don't you ever do anything like that to me again! Ever!"
She agreed, but her voice was muffled by his shirt as he held her tighter and thanked the young deputy still standing in the room with them.
~()~
Isaac walked back into the bedroom with a huge grin on his face. Teagan sat up in bed, a confused look on her face as she watched him walk over to her desk to grab her laptop.
Walking over to the bed, he held out a hand. "Come on."
"Where are we going?" she questioned.
Without a word, he wiggled his fingers, waiting for her to grab his hand. He didn't have to wait long before she placed her smaller hand in his. She was curious about what he was up to, but she trusted him. She didn't know much in life, but she did know she trusted him with everything.
A giggle escaped her mouth when he pulled her up from the bed. He held on to her laptop in one hand and her hand with his other one. He intertwined their fingers and led her out of the bedroom and down the stairs into the living room, where her surprise was waiting.
With wide eyes and a smile on her face, she took in the scene in front of her. He had grabbed a spare sheet from the linen closet and stretched it over the couch and some chairs, forming a makeshift tent for them to crawl under.
Seeing the happy, yet surprised look on her face, he smiled and threw an arm out to show off what he had done. "I made us a bigger version of a safety bubble. Kind of a tent/fort sorta thing."
"I love it," she gushed, then looked over at him. "I love it, and I love you."
"I love you too." He pulled on her hand, wanting her to follow him. "But you haven't seen the best part."
The two walked over to the makeshift tent then crawled inside, where he had every spare pillow and comforter he could find inside, making a comfy bed for them to lay on. He also had Chinese food delivered for them and several of her favorite movies waiting for them to watch.
He set the laptop down and opened it up, then picked up one of the DVDs to slip in. "I know Chinese and old movies are what you had planned with the girls, but I figured it was something we could do. Or if you wanted to order something else, we can have that delivered instead, or if you wanted to watch something completely different, that's fine too. Just whatever you want to-"
Teagan laid a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him toward her and shutting him up with a kiss. Resting her forehead against his, she whispered, "No, this is fine. This..all of this...is perfect. I wouldn't change a thing."
Isaac pulled back to look at her, a smile on his face at knowing he made her happy. "I'm glad you like it, but just to let you know, I draw the line at tiaras and jewelry."
Laughing at his comment, she laid her hands on either side of his face, a teasing smile on her face. "Aw, come on, babe, you would look adorable in a tiara. You would be the belle of the ball."
He shook his head and laughed. "You might can talk me into watching a Princess movie. But a tiara? Hell no, not happening."
"It's happening," she teased, moving her head closer to his.
"Not happening," he whispered before pressing his lips against hers for a soft kiss and stopping her from arguing back, giving him the last word.
With his lips still attached to hers, he laid a hand on the back of her head and slowly lowered her toward the floor. She pulled back to look at him, a smile on her face as she reached down to grab the bottom of his t-shirt to pull it off.
She laid her hands on his bare chest, her fingertips dancing across his warm skin as she slowly lowered them down until she reached the waistband of his blue jeans. Before she could pop the button of his jeans, he laid his hand on top of hers to stop her.
"Teagan, we don't- this isn't why I did this. We don't have to-"
"I know, but I want to," she mumbled against his lips before kissing him. "I've missed this and I've missed you, Isaac. Things haven't been good in a while, but this is the first time that things have slowed down enough so that we can start trying to heal."
She softly caressed his face and whispered, "Nothing makes me happier than being with you. You're my calm, you make everything better. You make me better. I love you."
"I love you," he responded, then pressed his lips firmly against her to deepen the kiss.
It didn't take long for them to forget about the movie playing and get lost in each other. After all the bad stuff that happened; hallucinations, close calls, and losing friends- they had a lot of lost time to make up for, and nothing could heal them more than being together. All they needed was each other.
~()~
With a huge grin on her face, Teagan cuddled up against Isaac when he returned to their makeshift tent and laid down beside her. After their naked fun time, he put his jeans back on to put away the leftover food and told her to relax, which she did after slipping on her underwear and stealing his t-shirt while she waited.
Holding her close, he ran his fingers through her hair and smiled when he felt her kiss his bare chest before laying her head down. These were some of his favorite moments with her, where they could lay in the stillness and enjoy the silence.
Thinking of some of the things they've been through recently, he lightly touched the side of her head. "How is it going on there? I mean, since the door was closed."
"Good. Quiet," she answered. "There's been no yelling, no nightmares, no hallucinations, nothing. My thoughts are my own again."
"That's good," he said, playing with her hair again. "I'm glad Avery was able to close the door, but I got to be honest, that night scared the hell out of me. I wasn't sure if you would ever wake up, if Avery was going to wake up, if both of you would be okay. I had no clue what would happen and that terrified me."
"You pulled me back," she pointed out. "You always pull me back."
"And I always will," he said back. "That was a good idea calling in that cop for Avery. At first I had no idea what you were thinking, why you would call him, but it helped her. We got Avery back. How did you know he could do that?"
"I saw the way he was looking at her that night when the Oni attacked. I don't know what's going on there, but I had a feeling he would be good for her."
Isaac nodded his head. "It was a good call. All I know is, I'm glad it worked out and you two woke up. I can't lose you, Teagan." He kissed the top of her head. "I can't ever lose you."
"You won't." Teagan raised her head to look at him. "I'm okay now. Nothing like that will happen again, and I'm not going anywhere."
He smiled at her words and laid a hand on the side of her face. He looked into her eyes for a moment, seeing the truth in her eyes before pressing his lips against hers for a sweet kiss.
Rolling her onto her back, he hovered above her. "Good, plus if you did try to go somewhere, I would just have to follow you." He tapped the end of her nose, causing her to chuckle. "I'll go where ever you go, babe."
"Maybe we should," she suggested.
"Should what?" he asked.
"Go somewhere. Just pack a bag and leave. I mean, not for good, but just a vacation or something. We could both use a break. We could both use some healing," she explained.
"Like the kind of healing we just did?" he questioned with a grin on his face.
"Yes, plenty of that." She laughed, then bit her bottom lip. "I definitely need more of that."
He smiled at hearing her laughter, then brushed her hair aside to press light kisses against her neck. Raising his head to look at her, he asked, "Do I need to schedule another healing session now?"
"I think you should," her voice low as she gave him a short nod.
"I think I can do that." He dropped his head for a moment to hold back a laugh, then lifted his head to look at her with a straight face. "Something did just come up."
"Oh, my god!" She laughed out loud, then placed her hands over her mouth to hold in another round of laughter. "You did not just say that!"
Isaac laughed along with her, then shrugged his shoulders as he feigned innocence. "What? What was wrong with that? It got you to laugh, right?"
"Yes, yes it did. You and your awkward ass comments." She playfully hit his shoulder.
"So that's what you and Avery meant by me making awkward comments?" he questioned.
"That's exactly what we meant." She nodded. "But it's okay, because it's one of the many things I love about you."
With a smile, he lowered his head to press his lips against hers for a gentle kiss. He let her set the pace briefly, then placed his hand on the back of her head to cradle her as he deepened the kiss.
He grinned against her lips when he heard her release a quiet moan, then nibbled on her bottom lip. He slipped his other hand under the t-shirt she was wearing, lightly running his fingers down her side and causing her to shiver at his touch.
He moved his hand down a little lower, heading for a certain area, until they heard the house phone begin to ring.
Teagan lowered her eyebrows in confusion as the phone continued to ring. Not many people called the landline much anymore. If someone needed her they called her cellphone and if they needed her dad, they would call his cellphone.
With a low groan, Isaac dropped a kiss on her forehead, then rolled off of her to lay on his back. She was close to telling him to ignore it, not wanting to ruin the good moment, but she had a feeling that it could be important; never realizing that a single phone call would change everything.
~()~
A little while later, Avery sat on the stairs looking down to the bandages on her arm that Parrish had fixed for her and listened as her dad and the deputy stood at the foot of the stairs in the entry way as Parrish explained to him that until she left for the treatment facility, she shouldn't be left alone. And the house needed to be gone through, all hazards or anything she could use to hurt herself needed to be locked away.
Everyone's attention moved to the door as it flew open and Teagan ran in, her eyes watery as her gaze landed on her best friend, who slowly stood from where she was sitting. Still in shorts and the green shirt of Parrish's.
"Oh my god… A," Teagan said, tears immediately running down her face as Avery descended the stairs and her best friend saw the bandages on her arm.
"I'm okay," Avery tried to say, but she didn't get a word out before Teagan pulled her into a hug and closed her eyes, thankful that they'd been able to stop her before she hurt herself any worse.
Avery rested her head on the brunette's shoulder and listened as her dad asked Isaac to help him clear the house of things that could be dangerous to Avery.
Deputy Parrish offered to help as well, but knowing how many weapons they had around the house now, her dad declined the offer and headed up the stairs with Isaac after thanking Parrish again.
Avery raised her head and watched over her best friend's shoulder with a pained expression as he stepped towards the open doorway and looked at her, giving her a small smile before leaving and pulling the door shut behind him.
~(Later that night)~
Avery sat on the couch in the front family room, in a pair of sleeping shorts and the light green shirt of Deputy Parrish's that she didn't want to take off, staring at the phone she was holding in her hands.
"Do you want me to call?" Teagan quietly asked.
Avery stared up to the ceiling where they could hear movement from upstairs; her dad and Isaac trying to remove everything she could possibly hurt herself with from the house.
"I don't wanna go back there," she admitted, "They're gonna remember me, and think I'm such a failure, it's only been a few years since I was there."
Teagan picked up the crumpled piece of paper that Avery's dad had given his daughter a while before, with the number to the treatment facility she'd been to in long beach when she was 14 and tried to commit suicide.
"Nobody is going to think you're a failure at anything," Teagan assured her, then choked back tears as she reminded her, "And even if some dumb-ass does think that, just remember you're Avery Dukate… and since when have you cared what anyone else thought?"
Avery let out a small laugh as she looked at her with watery eyes.
Teagan wiped a tear from her own cheek and closed her eyes for a few moments as she replayed the call she'd gotten from Avery's dad a few hours before; saying that he wanted her to come and sit with Avery and help him convince her to go get the help she needed.
She'd never forget that phone conversation for as long as she lived. At first, she thought it was Avery calling her from the landline instead of her cellphone, but it was her dad. Which at first wasn't too concerning until he asked if she could come help him with Avery.
When she asked what for she never expected the answer she'd gotten, "I had to call 911…she locked herself in her room and s-she tried to kill herself."
Looking back now she honestly didn't remember even leaving her house, she couldn't remember if she'd drive there or if it had been Isaac. After that phone call, every single second was a blur until she burst through the front door and saw her friend was okay.
"I can't go back there, T. I just can't," she whispered again as she looked down to see some lines of dried blood across the front of the shirt from where she'd held her injured arm against herself before Parrish had wrapped a towel around her arm.
Reaching forward Teagan picked up Richard's laptop computer from the coffee table and opened it as she scooted closer to her best friend and said, "You don't want to go back to that one, it's okay. We'll find an even better one."
Nodding, Avery slid down in her seat some as she leaned over, resting her head on Teagan's shoulder as the girls searched for a treatment facility to help her come to terms with all of the loss and trauma she'd suffered and help her find ways of dealing with stress.
"Here's this one," Teagan said as she read over the website for an in-patient treatment place, but Avery didn't even look up as she sighed, "Ironic isn't it… that our lives are full of supernatural problems, and then I end up with a problem that can't be fixed supernaturally."
"What's wrong with you?" The brunette let out a small gasp as she realized how it sounded, then quickly tried to word it better, "I mean what…"
"It's okay."
"It's really not, A. I didn't mean it the way it sounded," Teagan said, now also not paying attention to the computer.
"I know what you meant… and I think a combination of things." She didn't raise her head from her friend's shoulder as she admitted, "When I was at Eichen House, the doctor wrote in my file that I have temporary psychosis brought on by severe depression, but Parrish seems to think it's PTSD."
With raised eyebrows, Teagan started to ask how much she'd told the deputy about everything, but Avery kept talking, "Either way, it doesn't matter. It just means that there is something wrong with me… something that I can't fix on my own and I hate it."
She could hear the blonde talking through gritted teeth and tears stung her eyes as Teagan said, "You know, you can't fix everything on your own. And the great thing is that you don't have to do it all on your own, you've got me and Isaac, not to mention all our other friends." With a small smile she continued, "You've got Deputy Parrish…"
"Who now thinks I'm certifiably crazy."
Teagan frowned and tried to make her feel better, "I have never seen him look at you like you're crazy."
Avery sighed clearly not believing her brunette friend.
"Don't forget it was me who called him after you closed the door in my head at the animal clinic, he got through to you when no one else could." She paused for a moment thinking of herself and Isaac as she continued, "I know the kind of connection it takes to be able to pull someone back."
"What are you saying?" she asked, her voice barely over a whisper.
"I'm saying that maybe… he's your anchor, the one who can reach you and pull you back. Like Isaac does for me and like I do for him. Deputy Parrish got through to you at the animal clinic that day and I'm forever grateful for not only that, but also that he got through to you again tonight."
"I don't need an anchor," Avery stubbornly said under her breath, then wiped a tear from her cheek as she tried to blow the idea off, "And either way he's seen me at my absolute lowest point…"
Teagan opened her mouth to remind Avery that Isaac had seen her at her lowest, that being under the influence of her mom she'd not only hurt him, but liked causing him pain and they'd managed to weather that storm.
They were still working on getting through some of the things that had happened between them, but they were working together. But before she could, Avery changed the subject, not able to talk about Parrish anymore.
"I'll miss you while I'm away," Avery softly whispered as her chin quivered. The last thing she wanted to do was leave town now, her friends needed her.
But she knew now she couldn't push things down any longer, she'd end up hurting someone else or killing herself from everything bottled up inside.
Diverting her eyes from the screen, Teagan quietly said back, "Miss me? As soon as they allow you to have visitors, I'm going to be there all the time."
"That's a really long drive…"
"Not from a nearby hotel it won't be," Teagan answered with a smile.
Raising her head Avery said, "Come on, T. This isn't the titanic… with the whole, I jump-you jump thing."
Teagan couldn't help but smile at her friend using her own words against her, that was the term she'd use whenever Avery would make her friends' problems her own.
"You're my sister and there is no way that you're going off to some center without me just being a short drive away," she sternly said, then sighed, "Plus, I think I could really use some time away from town too, everything I see makes me think of Allison…"
Her voice cracked and her sentence trailed off, a few more tears slid down Avery's cheeks as she nodded in understanding, ever since losing her friend she felt the same way. She couldn't drive past a restaurant they'd eaten at without breaking down in tears.
"But I'll be so worried about you in some hotel by yourself," Avery continued to argue.
"Who said I was going to be alone," she answered mysteriously, but Avery already knew who she was talking about.
"I think it might really do you guys some good to take a vacation," she finally agreed.
Teagan nodded with a small smile at the idea of going away with Isaac, just the two of them.
"Hey A, look at this place…"
As Avery lifted her head and looked at the screen Teagan read some of it out loud, "It says they focus on a holistic approach to recovery. Private rooms… 5 star dining, they have a gym."
Her dark brown eyes read farther down the list as she gasped, "They even have a spa!"
"Hmm," Avery hummed as she leaned in closer as her friend opened up a virtual tour of the facility. "Maybe this could be the place… it doesn't look that bad."
"Not that bad? I'm thinking about skipping the hotel and getting a room next to yours in here," Teagan joked, trying to lighten the mood and smiled ear to ear as she heard the sound of her friend laughing. A sound she had heard much at all of lately.
The two girls continued their search late into the night, trying to find the best possible place for Avery to go with good hotels nearby for Teagan and Isaac to stay at.
Both of them nervous for what the future may hold, but knowing this was a step in the right direction for them both.
~ A Teen Wolf fanfiction collaboration between Miss E Charlotte and twofacedharveydent ~
A/N- Well, there it is! The end of The Dark Blue Moon! ^_^
We want to thank you all so much for the all of the support you've shown. Thank you to everyone who followed the story and/or added it to your favorites. We literally do something Blue Moon Series related every single day and to know that we have readers who appreciate all of the hard work we put into this and who love the girls as much as we do –that honestly means the world to us both. So thank you!
We'll have the sequel up as soon as we can. It's going to cover season 4 of Teen Wolf. We cannot wait to share the next Blue Moon installment with all of you! ^_^ If you'd like either me or Miss E Charlotte to let you know when the new story is up just let us know in a review or a message, we don't mind letting you guys know when it's been posted.
Also, up on my profile page the link is now active for the official season 4 video ^_^ Don't forget to check it out and see what's coming in A New Blue Moon
Thank you for everything, you've all been amazing and so supportive!