Chapter Seventy Five

Jay

Alice was positive I could help Bella and I trusted my mate one hundred per cent so I went inside the house stepping over the debris and as she guided Carlisle outside I took his place on the stair next to her. She didn't move or speak just sat there with her face buried in her hands so I gave her a while hoping she might make the first move only too aware of the others listening outside. I heard Rose's words and winced, they wouldn't help the way Bella was feeling right now and I was relieved when Carlisle sent them off with Emmett to hunt. That just left Alice and Carlisle outside which made things a little less public.

"Bella? I think you need to talk to someone about what just happened. You must be really scared and confused right now. I know I was when I woke up and suddenly the world seemed a new and unfamiliar place."

I waited hoping she might answer but she just sat there, the misery coming off her in waves that even a dumb ass like me couldn't miss. I put a hand tentatively on her shoulder hoping she wouldn't misunderstand and give me some of what Emmett was now recovering from. When she didn't react I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her close to comfort her.

"Bella, you're gonna have to speak to someone and at least we're friends, or we were once upon a time."

For a while I thought maybe she was going to ignore me altogether but then I heard her voice, very low but audible.

"I hurt Emmett and I have no idea why. He's always been really sweet to me but I wanted to rip his head off for trying to stop me leaving."

"He'll be OK, Emmett's tough and he understands, we all do."

"It didn't sound as if Rose did."

I shrugged,

"True but she's only looking out for her mate Bella, she'll cool down when she has time to think about it."

She turned to peer at me through a curtain of hair,

"But that's all I wanted to do, look out for my mate. I just want to be with Jasper, is that so wrong? I know I'm a newborn and unpredictable but I also know I'd feel better if he were here with me."

I sighed,

"I know, it's hard being separated from your mate. It was hard for me when I left Alice here to go off with the others. I couldn't stop thinking about her, all I wanted to do was to rush back and feel her in my arms but I had something to do. Just like The Major does. He'll be feeling it worse than you Bella. He doesn't really know what happened, why you were changed just that you were. Think how he's feeling right now but he has a job to do and he's going to finish it, make sure you're safe, we're all safe, then he'll come straight back to you. Do you understand?"

She nodded looking sad and guilty.

"I think I did this."

She gestured to the wreckage all around us.

"Yeah I think you did too. Care to tell me how?"

"I don't know, I just remember wanting Emmett to leave me alone, to go away and suddenly the world just seemed to explode. I'm scared Jay, what if it happens again? I might kill someone next time."

"Well whatever you did I think you need to make your peace with Emmett and Rose and talk to Carlisle. After all if anyone knows what's going on it'll be him."

"But I destroyed his house, Esme will never forgive me. What do I say to them?"

"Sorry would be a good start. Bella don't be so hard on yourself. We all understand how hard it is to control yourself when you're a newborn and things are even more tough for you with your mate miles away in the enemy camp and a creepy double here in his place. If you want to blame someone….blame me. If I hadn't written that stupid paper about The Major maybe Caius would never have found out about me and come up with his plan to rule the world."

"Its not your fault Jay, you're as much a victim as Jasper or me."

"Well it's kind of you to say so but I don't feel much like a victim to be honest Bella, I got a new life with a girl I am crazy about and a host of good friends. I had no family that cared, no real friends, I haven't lost very much."

She looked up at me and I could see I'd said the wrong thing,

"Oh God! My Dad. I haven't spoken to him in weeks now, he'll be worried sick. What am I going to do?"

She looked ready to panic and I had no idea what she might do then so I grabbed her hand and pulled her up,

"First thing, we talk to Carlisle."

She nodded a little uncertainly and we picked our way through the wreckage and outside where Carlisle and Alice waited patiently. He smiled encouragingly and took over while I went back to Alice who was beaming,

"Well done Jay. You were great with her, I'm proud of you."

Carlisle

I took Bella's hand and we walked away from the mess and the other two so we could talk and she might just relax a little.

"Jay's right Bella, this really isn't your fault and I'm sure Emmett will be fine when he gets back although he might want a return match some time."

She started to tense and I tried to reassure her,

"Only joking Bella, try to keep calm. Now first of all as soon as you feel able to you can ring Charlie. He doesn't need to know anything except you are still at college and enjoying yourself, that would be safest all round. When did you speak to him last?"

"I don't really remember. I didn't want him asking questions so I just said the same kind of things as usual. Do you think I can speak to him without giving myself away?"

"I'm sure you can, especially when you remember its the only way to keep him safe. As long as he thinks everything is fine he won't be asking any awkward questions. Once this is all over we'll have to come up with a story but for now that will suffice."

"What am I going to say to Emmett and Rose? I don't even know what happened Carlisle."

I thought I had an idea but it would be yet another thing for Bella to be concerned about. She looked at me like a child asking for reassurance so I sat her down on the swing seat looking away from the wrecked house and tried to explain.

"I think Bella that you have a gift, like Edward or Jasper. When Edward couldn't read your thoughts I suspected it might be a shield rather like Renata but from what I've seen I think you are far more powerful than that. I think you can send your shield out offensively too."

"So I'm dangerous?"

"Only until you learn to control it. The good thing is we vampires are very durable, it takes a lot to hurt us as you know. All you harmed were some panes of glass and a few building materials."

"I hurt Emmett though."

"Yes you did but that was with your teeth and nails, a vampire's main weapons, your shield didn't harm him. In fact it could be very helpful if we find ourselves fighting Caius and his army of newborns. Of course I don't plan on being there, you either, its far too soon for you but of course you must learn to control it and we need to discover its limitations."

She looked at me again and I finally saw what I had been hoping for, a spark of hope in those red eyes.

"I could help Jasper fight Caius maybe?"

"No, Bella it's too soon and it takes time to learn control."

"I can do it Carlisle, I know I can with your help. Either way I'm going to be at his side when he goes into battle."

I could see I wasn't going to talk her out of this idea so I tried to put some barriers in the way to slow her down.

"If you can control both yourself and your gift then yes you could be a help but it's going to take hard work and determination. I'll help you Bella but you have to control your newborn temper. Do you think you can do that? If not you'll be more of a danger to him than Caius."

She nodded smiling faintly,

"Yes, I have to and I will."